Free fall 25 Jan 2013 6:24 AM (12 years ago)

Jumping from a plane
I anticipated my fall
prepared all my need
my parachute and my googles
every time i looked down
my heart seemed to stop
of not knowing
whether
i will live
or not
the time came
I jumped and free fall
without even given
a last thought
moments passed
images of my previous
weakly flashed
Frozen my oesophagus
I could not find the trigger
to release the parachute
though height is getting low

Taken away in a dream
Empty and full
Blank and colourful
Sad and happy

I pray, you lights 31 Oct 2012 9:36 PM (12 years ago)

There you sit,
Eager as a child
in a toy shop,
Wanting to get more.

There you sit,
Humbly low, looking
forward. I wonder,
what are you thinking?

I pray,
To have more time in our hands.
I pray,
That i give you everything i can.
I pray,
For me to understand you, and
You to understand this and that.
I pray, you lights

That air 11 Mar 2012 10:31 AM (13 years ago)

This air suffocates me,
It brings me down,
Condemning me,
Makes me bleed.

Never mind I'll get through this,
Just a little cut,
Painful but I can ignore it,
Never mind. I think I'm strong.

Never mind. Never mind.
Never mind. Never mind.

Dream comes true 29 Jan 2012 8:44 PM (13 years ago)

I been wanting an iPhone since long and the release of iPhone 4s last year really amazed me.
Now I'm a proud owner of it because it wasn't easy for me to own it. As a student, I kept my budget tight for months and did part time job with my best friend.

Well, it does not matter if our dream is to get iPhone or good grade or important position or good pay or etc, what is more important is our determination and our hardwork in achieving our dreams. Because then we will be a better person who would never give up and strong.

<3

Aerobic + Step mania 17 Jan 2012 2:12 AM (13 years ago)

i admit that i'm not the person who really likes sports... i'm a mess in most of them...to make it worse i don't like to jog... as exercise is very important i do feel that i been to lazy with my body.

what i like to do best is dancing (though my dance moves are very amateur...=p). so i start practicing dancing as my routine exercise every day. not only that i do aerobic, i also play step mania. i really have fun!! ^^

everybody knows what is aerobic. this is my present favourite one so far which i found in youtube:

the moves are very simple but very catchy...i just go with the song and enjoy it very much... XD

now, let me explain a bit about step mania. step mania is actually a dancing game where you play using a dance mat. so you need to move your legs according to the arrows in the screen. it is a very fun game with variety of song to be chosen from their online library.

ok i know the video clip above is a bit too much for a beginner like me...huhu... but not to worry, there are many levels of difficulty. i usually go with novice and easy..huhu...at least i'm sweating..
btw i only use soft foam mat and adapter to connect the mat with my lappy.
this is the link to the page if you wish to download, install and play step mania (it is FREE!! yeay!):
http://www.stepmania.com/

p.s.: pray that i will continue this exercise routine so that i can say bye bye to my muffin top..ngeee XD

Apple Diet 15 Jan 2012 6:33 PM (13 years ago)

have you ever feel guilty to your stomach that you ate too much and too many of unhealthy foods?

i heard about detoxification diet years before. the diet programme meant to help remove toxic build up because of us eating variety of foods and junks.

Mr. google then helped me to find some pages that helps to explain about apple diet. i found out that there are two types of apple diet.
1. eat nothing but only apples for 2 or 3 days.(eat apple every time when you are hungry)
2. eat good and healthy foods and eat an apple before every main meal for 3 days.

it also said that you can lose weight by doing this diet.

i tried once but i only managed to go for a day with the first type of apple diet (because of the temptation to eat other foods =p). but i can feel the result the next day... my stomach seems to be more relaxed and i no longer had constipation. so i may stick with this kind of diet (at least to have apple every day) as what they say 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' huhuhu ^^....

if you do want to do this apple diet then i recommended that you make some research in the net and see which way of dieting that suits you. there are also other detoxification diet that may interest you.

p.s.: trying to get rid of my muffin top...argghhh! but i heard about the afterburn excises that should help...

Merlin 15 Jan 2012 1:39 AM (13 years ago)

those who love Merlin please raise your leg...or maybe you love Arthur... huhu... :3

i was really addicted to Merlin and i managed to finish watching all the season 4 episodes online last week thanks to good internet connection... no thanks to famous ''repeat-the-same-thing-again-and-again-service'' because it had made me watching the same episode for many time...

i found some online streaming pages but the only one page that managed to help me to watch all the episode was http://merlin-streaming.blogspot.com/ ^^
so if you want to watch Merlin online you can go to this page because it is really helpful.

another interesting thing is that you can also find other TV series online streaming links in this page...

Do enjoy watching Merlin online ^^,

p.s. : think of watching Charmed but i forget which series that i have watched...not to mention with my concern to AE...huhuhu...

Animal Adoption 14 Jan 2012 6:47 AM (13 years ago)

if you love pets then this is for you. <3

ever think of buying a pet straight from the pet shop but cannot effort it because of the amazing price? huhu...yes pets can be quite expensive especially if it is from a rare bred...but there is a way, where you can have the pet with less expensive price... but of course just like any other pet what is more important is not how much money do you spend for the pet, but the LOVE that you share with it with sincere heart. <3

so, i stumbled upon this page named PETFINDER (http://www.petfinder.my/linktous.htm) where pets owners or breeders advertise their pets for sale and for adoption. most of the owners in this page do offer adoption for free as long as you love and care for that pet... well, what are you waiting for?

p.s.: i wish to have whether a spyhnx, a siamese, a blue russian, or a scottish fold....hmmm or better all them! i'm a cat person and honestly i do see that all cats are adorable and cute!!! meow :3

Busy-Lazy.... 21 Sep 2011 5:41 PM (13 years ago)

It has been too long since i updated my blog...huuuu...not a very good blogger myself (sorry). however i will try my best to get my **s back in this blog bcause i really miss my little black box.... :3

OF LUCK AND BAD LUCK 1 Apr 2010 2:34 AM (14 years ago)

Luck, yesterday

- 1. Met Dato Siti Nurhaliza..face to face!!! yesterday (31 march 2010) =D

- 2. Shacked hand with her =D

- 3. Took picture =D

me, syarah, milah n dato siti (blur..waa...but whatever...) =D

Bad luck, today

- 1. Been hit by a car…(which was totally the car driver’s fault!!!) Nas and I was on my motorcycle otw to the fac- have Mandarin oral test today

- 2. The most f******iest thing is that the driver couldn’t care less to stop and just ran away like nothing happened!!! I curse the day the driver was born!!(taken from sex and the city)

- 3. Scraped our knees and elbow…

- 4. Otw back to hostel, another stupid car driver ran into a water puddle and made a big splash which hit us. ‘THANKS’ for making us wet!!

- 5. My fav jeans- torn!

- 6. My fav cardigan- torn!

- 7. My motorcycle- damaged!

ilustration of what happened..

my knee...

Anyway, thank God that we are alright and the wounds are not that bad....

Alhamdulillah....

Scare of snake? i'm not... 27 Mar 2010 6:32 AM (14 years ago)

icode eXotic animals exhibition totally blowd my mind...
yeah, iguanas + other kind of lizards, spiders(OMG!!! aracnidphobic), a little squirel(i think...=p forgot to ask), a wild cat (not HSM's WIld Cats) and snakes...

1. got to pet a huge iguana...about the size of my thigh (actually, bigger!!) felt like plastic toy...haha...
2. braced myself to go into the spiders show room...opend the door, took a few step, turn back and close the door...again, went inside, walked far from the spiders, look at them a bit, have funny feeling all over my body, total shock when i saw a spider crawling on their hand...waaargh!..
3. saw the pythons, wanted to take picture(with them on me) hehe...
4. asked nas to accompany me n take my picture...
5. choose an albino python (dont know why the person incharge seem shock when i said i want the albino python...???
6. nervous.(i may die-like in anoconda movie lol)...but then the python seem soooooooooOOOOOOooo CUTE!!!
7. love the feeling of being wraped by the python (somehow i feel more secure...??)
8. took pictures. they took the python... =(
9. "Bro, gimme back 'my' albino python!!"(i said inside)
10. decided to have a pet snake later...(n still deciding bcause thinking of my future pet cats..lol)

btw: it was so hot!!the reptiles need to be sprayed with water and ice...n my hair felt like being put into an oven lol...
n i look messy n comot...=(

Burden 7 Mar 2010 5:26 AM (15 years ago)

I smile when I want to,

And I do smile when you want to.

I cry when I want to

And I do cry when you want to.

I mad when I want to

And I do mad when you want to.

But when I feel like crying

when you want me to smile,

then I will smile like nothing worth of crying.

So what I will do when you want me to,

Even my heart aches,

Breaks,

Bla, bla, bla…

When some things are for yourself but not others to have,

A burden that you carry, of only you would understand.

~Calmal Adam~

the world is not perfect 7 Mar 2010 5:24 AM (15 years ago)

The world is not perfect,

The sun burns

And rain floods.

The world is not perfect,

The earth quakes,

And ocean flood.

The world is not perfect,

So are you

And so does me.

The world is not perfect,

And so does this poem.

~Calmal Adam~

REALIZATION 1 Mar 2010 5:09 AM (15 years ago)

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time, more time.

but deep down i feel that you don’t like it,

as you keep making yourself busy,

just like a poem i have once read.

now i see

that you have more time for yourself

more time for family

but somehow i feel far

which i don’t like

just like tar

it stains.

now i see

that you finally realize

of what become of me

not like what you ever want

now i see

that you finally realize

that i'm not like what u thought

now i feel

the looks from your eyes,

of how they see

i feel vulnerable.

now i feel

guilty of what i am

not being what you want

i’m sorry of what i done.

now i feel

guilty of what i done

not being a man like you want.

now i even wish

wish for a miracle

as when i wake up from sleep

and be of what i should

in your dream.

now i even wish

wish for a wish

so I can wish

to be what you wish.

now i am sorry

now i’m sorry

of not being……

now i feel

like tornado twirling

confuse

angry

sad

etc…etc…

it is complicated

now the only word i can say

only sorry i can say

sorry, sorry, sorry…

~calmal adam~

bLueBeary, DeviL and BaG… 27 Feb 2010 6:08 AM (15 years ago)

Oh no, bluebeary has turned evil!!!

call him bluebeary the Devil..hehe...

(sat.27 Feb 10)

well, tonight was quite a hot night at icity. lots and lots of peeeooOOplee... actually, the head gear with the little pair of horns 'tickled' my interest..hehe...so i bought it for RM5, eventhough after that my friends bought the same headgear for RM4...but whatever....=p

all eyes were on me...haha... not really lol...too many people and i became a bit anxious... but again i try to walk and blend (even though i wore a glowing devil horns -most of them wore it, some wore mickey's glowing ears- and walked like i was on a runway). i think i did (did i??).

yesterday, my friends and i went to KL. the objective of the trip was actually to find novels for our literature subject. Unfortunately we only found a novel with only 2 left and we bought it. one out of 2 novels that we want to buy. So i spend the rest of my budget to buy this bag!! i had dream of buying a new one since december last year...n finally, thank god! =D

and thank god that i was able to control myself from buying another shirtsssss...eventhough i almost bought one but i did not because of the size...hehehe... (mind-note: no more extra shopping!!).

One Eye 24 Feb 2010 1:20 AM (15 years ago)

one eye,

one of yours is blind,

the other covered by white,

you may even not see clearly,

but others are far more worse.

walking slowly on dirty path,

your sight faded, as you gets old

your eyes get worstened,

and so are others heart and soul.

one eye,

one like me pity you so much

but none i can do to ease

your poor heart...

one eye,

if i can speak and

if i can understand you,

will it change

how others view?

it's time for me to go

hard for me to forget

your sweet voice, that

made me walked so slow

i'm sorry i cant do anything,

though i can see your heart is bleeding

will i ever see you again?

if i do, can i be a help?

or will others help you to gain,

a life far good from today?

~calmal adam~

ps: i wrote this in 2009, as a dedication to One Eye...

poems... 24 Feb 2010 1:11 AM (15 years ago)

these are the poems that i wrote b4 i wrote 'blank'.

___________

trust

lost in a dark forest,

with a laughing map on my face,

and a cunning compass.

which should i trust to,

which should i trust to

..

dark forest,

a laughing owl,

a sneaky centipede,

which should i trust to,

which should i trust to

dark forest,

seem that i am alone,

would u eat me alive,

or just let me live in lies

dark forest,

when can i have hope?

when can i have trust?

when can i have love?

~Calmal~

____________

bleed

yes i admit,

i am blue among these red roses.

should i bleed myself?

so i would be red like them...

should i? or shouldn't i?

~calmal~

____________

freakshow

LOOK at me,

ain't i'm a freak?

a freak in your dusty and muddy little brain!

again it's for you and others to judge,

normal? abnormal? handicap? freak? bla bla bLA!

do i have a choice?

or i just have to choose?

follow those,

and act just fool?

i had enough,

had enough,

killing me would be mercy,

than to keep me in your tiny cage!

~calmal~

blank 20 Feb 2010 9:50 PM (15 years ago)

blank

with emptiness

makes soul confused

makes soul withered

blank

with emptiness

that so heavy

yet so empty

blank

with emptiness

of none could see

of none could touch

of none could smell

of none could feel

but only me...

~calmal adam~

Calmal's Little Black Box View RSS

Free fall 25 Jan 2013 6:24 AM (12 years ago)

I pray, you lights 31 Oct 2012 9:36 PM (12 years ago)

That air 11 Mar 2012 10:31 AM (13 years ago)

Dream comes true 29 Jan 2012 8:44 PM (13 years ago)

Aerobic + Step mania 17 Jan 2012 2:12 AM (13 years ago)

Apple Diet 15 Jan 2012 6:33 PM (13 years ago)

Merlin 15 Jan 2012 1:39 AM (13 years ago)

Animal Adoption 14 Jan 2012 6:47 AM (13 years ago)

Busy-Lazy.... 21 Sep 2011 5:41 PM (13 years ago)

OF LUCK AND BAD LUCK 1 Apr 2010 2:34 AM (14 years ago)

Scare of snake? i'm not... 27 Mar 2010 6:32 AM (14 years ago)

Burden 7 Mar 2010 5:26 AM (15 years ago)

the world is not perfect 7 Mar 2010 5:24 AM (15 years ago)

REALIZATION 1 Mar 2010 5:09 AM (15 years ago)

bLueBeary, DeviL and BaG… 27 Feb 2010 6:08 AM (15 years ago)

One Eye 24 Feb 2010 1:20 AM (15 years ago)

poems... 24 Feb 2010 1:11 AM (15 years ago)

blank 20 Feb 2010 9:50 PM (15 years ago)