Check. Me. Out. See the maybe-cancer scariness on my face? No? Can't see it? Well that's because it's practically totally gone. Uh huh. Gone. Everyone who said it was just a hair zit is a genius.
Woot!
I guess Dutch has been feeling kinda lonely without his Fridays so I promised to let him tell you why we've been gone and what you've missed (hint: not much
PS: my face is getter better!!!
So, I went to the vet. We had a staring contest and he poked at my face, but only with his fingers. Then he and my human talked for awhile.
VET: blah blah blah something about a hair follicle blah blah something about pugs and lumps
HUMAN: blah blah blah something about pugs and lumps
VET: blah blah blah TUMOR blah blah CANCER blah blah
HUMAN: (silent)
VET: blah blah TUMOR blah blah
I'm not sure what happened to yesterday. Some human stuff, I guess. I'm kinda starting to think I should have two, maybe even three, humans in case my main human isn't around to lend me some thumbs. If anyone has an extra human they don't need, let me know.
So, can we please talk about my face? Not the cute parts, I mean the thing growing under my nose. It looks waaay
It was pink
with a flowery toe.
There was only one
and it was too small.
xoxo
Dutch
It's a good thing I'm not talking this week because I have no idea what this means.
Lately my head has been feeling kinda... empty. Dutch said Google says that's what happens when you meditate and it's a good thing. Like a vacation for your brain. Dutch also thinks staring at the wall with your eyes closed is a good idea so I'm not sure I want his advice.
Sorry Dutch (and Google).
I told my human I think my head might be empty because she doesn't feed
Hello again friends! Pug suggested I stop saying it's Friday because everyone (except maybe our human) already knows what day it is. I don't know if he's right, but in case he is, I think from now I will just say hello.
If I'm wrong about Pug being right, please let me know so I can tell him.
I'm sorry to say this, but I don't have very exciting things to tell you. I haven't been
Sometimes I think my human is crazy. I mean, most humans are. At least sometimes. But I always kinda forget about that part so when her craziness sneaks up on me, it really freaks me out.
According to Google, there are like a million different kinds of crazy and I should make a list to keep track of my human's symptoms. So yesterday I started making a list. I'm already up to #
Unless you live in San Francisco, it's probably sunny and you're probably hot. Google says it's called summer. Not like I'd know. Around here, summer is not sunny or hot. It's gray. And cold. And I'm pretty sure this is called winter.
Sorry Google.
I don't exactly love the hot or anything because it kinda makes my face melt, but this cold and gray thing makes me want to take a
PUG: you know I love you, right?
DUTCH: you do?
PUG: of course I do.
DUTCH: are you just trying score some of my cookies?
PUG: maybe. But I still love you.
DUTCH: aww, I love you too Pug.
PUG: so, uh, does that mean I can have half your cookies??
So, we went for a walk with Lulu and Ernie again this morning. Lulu rolled in poop and totally freaked out her mom, Ernie found a dog even more giant than himself to play with, I got stuck to a leash because my human is too tired to deal with my poo habit and Dutch didn't do anything because he is perfect.
Not exactly the most exciting walk ever, but I did talk my human
one Dutch + two pugs
Hello! It's Friday and I'm here and I'm happy. Happy because yesterday we went to the spa and finally washed off the escape-from-Pride-weekend camping nightmare. And ever since we got back from spider hell, I've been sleeping in the bed with my human - even on the nights Pug gets sent to the couch for snoring.
Happy happy happy.
I'm also happy because I
Sorry today is a lunch-post instead of a breakfast one, but my friend Lulu's mom just got a car and we had to help her break in the new pod. Their car is a little smaller than Mazda and the humans were worried we wouldn't all fit. I didn't see what the problem was. Of course we'd all fit.
Until...
Ernie. And his mega feet. And his giant puppy body that's so freaking
So here's what happened. My human was on the floor stretching her back or fixing her back or whatever she does when she lays on the floor. It happens all the time, no big deal.
Except this time, it kinda was.
Because one minute I was chewing on a hoof, next thing you know I'm humping my human's elbow. Yeah.
HUMAN: PUG! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING.
ME: (i don't know
Uhm. Some questions:
1. Do I a have a yoga but?
2. Do I want a yoga but?
3. What the heck is a yoga but!?!
Confused.
Hello everybody! If you were here on the 4th, sorry I missed you!
I guess because of the holiday, Friday felt like Saturday and then Saturday felt like Sunday and it wasn't until Sunday wasn't Monday that our human figured out we were on the wrong day. I don't know what she had to give Pug to let me be here, but I'm happy I am :)
Anyhoo. Let's see, what happened last week? Well, I had
Ok, so I have a question. About shoes. I know, weird. But ever since I stepped into that first pair on the sidewalk, I keep finding more of them. Like, everywhere. Big shoes, little shoes, lady shoes, man shoes - they're all over the place. My human says I'm kind of obsessed and she might not be wrong.
If I was Dutch, I'd probably think the shoes were following me. Or that they,
Hey everybody, I'm back! Sorry about Dutch and his whining yesterday, but an extra bite of Taco Bell is, umm... yeah... sorry. Anyway. I know the princess already told you about our escape-from-pride camping trip, but here's what it was really like.
We swam in a lake, which is kinda the same as an ocean only warmer, drinkable and you don't get water up your face because there
Helllllo! It's me again. Pug said I could be here today if I let him have the first bite of Taco Bell on the way home from our trip to hell camping. I had to promise not to talk about the Taco Bell because he wants to do that himself, but I am allowed to tell you about our weekend in hell.
First there was dirt. Everywhere.
Then we climbed a mountain to sleep in a thing
Hi again! I'm a little anxious right now so I can't completely tell you how amazing our trip to the spa was, or that our hike in the redwoods was soooo Zen.
Sorry.
Ok.
Breathe.
I don't know if you've noticed, but humans talk a lot. Even quiet humans like mine. I used to try to understand every word but it was very exhausting so now I mostly just listen for my name,
So. Uhm. My human got me trees. For my birthday. Yeah, I know. That's what I said.
At first I thought maybe she forgot it was my big day. I mean, it's not like that hasn't happened before and you never know what her gimpy brain is going to do. But when we got to the Redwoods and she said Happy Birthday Pug! I knew she'd really just gotten me trees.
HUMAN: hey Pug,