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well this will be short and to the point. I stopped my Bulgarian adoption for a couple of reasons. 1.) there did not seem to be an end in sight 2.) my current children in my home need more attention than I originally anticipated. It just didn't seem fair to my current children to have to spend so much time with a new orphanage child.

So maybe I will stay at 4 children or maybe continue to grow my family through foster care. I got word last month that a little boy that I have had since 7 month old (now 5) is going to be added legally to my family. His parental right were terminated last month and his adoption should be next summer.

Last but not least, Lennox has been an official member of the family for 5 years now!!!!

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Jessica 

well there goes updating the blog every month 😒!!! It's hard to update an adoption blog when nothing is happening. I got Kadins adoption done in Feb and Maisy should be soon. But I have heard nothing on the internation front. My agency had twin girls that were 5 but the state of Illinois would not approve me to have that many children in my house under the age of 6. So it was back to waiting.

Many people in the facebook group have waited years for their referrals so I can't complain when I have only been waiting 18 months. I will try and keep myself busy with the four children I have and trying to find a new house.

I will try and be better about the blog bc I want to look back someday and remember the waiting, remember how hard it was.

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Jessica

HI Jessica!

my fingerprints came back and so did my approval from immigration. I also had to send in a yearly declaration to bulgaria that I am still committed to adopt. Well, I said in my last post that I was under a deadline and I have made it with a couple weeks to spare. I got word today that my paperwork was sent to bulgaria. YAY!!!!

The next stage is more WAITING:(

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Jessica

I don't have to much of an update except that my home study update was complete and sent in to USCIS. I sent the application for immigration in with the updated homestudy.  I waited a couple weeks and got an appointment (1 week notice) for my fingerprints. I go tomorrow morning at 0800 for my prints. If my prints read the first time, which they have the last 2 times, then I hope to have results in a few weeks. My results will trigger immigration to give me an approval letter to bring an orphan into the country as an immediate citizen. This letter needs to be in bulgaria in 5 weeks. My deadline is fast approaching. Anyway that is all I knew for know. I hope that I can post good news next month about my letter getting to bulgaria on time. My new letter has more special needs listed in it so that could change my wait. By the time my letter gets to bulgaria I will have waited 1 year since being registered. The wait time is still approx 3 years for children under 3. My age range is 3-8 so I am not sure what my timeline actually is.  All I can do is wait!!!!

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Jessica

Well I have had my first set of paperwork expire.  My USCIS expires this December so it needs to be updated now.  USCIS is approval from US immigration to bring an orphan into the states to become a citizen.  So this process is pretty easy but still frustrating.  I can't get USCIS extension without an updated homestudy.

I updated my homestudy today.  I had to get physical, new financial forms, copy of tax forms, new background checks and employment letter.  The social worker for homestudy came out to see kids and update my original paperwork with new ages and adoption progress of foster kids. 

Once she gets my homestudy done, it will go to interstate compact in Illinois for approval.  I will get a copy of homestudy after this approval to sent with extension application.  USCIS will then send me a new appointment for biometric fingerprints.  After my fingerprints are run, I should get new approval letter a month or so later.  This approval from USCIS will then go to Bulgaria. 

I will then have another 18 months before this paperwork expires. I have my fingers crossed that I will have my new daughter home long before the next paperwork expires.  I still have NO idea on how long it will take before I am matched with her.  Generally children under the age of 5 are taking 3 years to match.  My age limit goes up to age 8.  There is no real timeline for children over the age of 5 except "usually less then 3 years".  So the long long wait to be united with my daughter continues. I say a prayer for her every night because she is out there somewhere just waiting.

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jessica

I have no idea!!!!  I have officially been registered with Bulgaria for months now and I have heard nothing.  It could be tomorrow because my age range is "high" (age 7) compared to what people normally like.  Or I could wait 3 years because I have the same "special needs" as the other thousands of people adopting from Bulgaria.  I did look at a file of a child this week and talk to the agency but I can't explain the feeling or lack of feeling I had when reading this child file.  I was unsure about her medical needs on paper so I requested to see videos of her.  Once I saw the videos I knew that she was not my daughter.  I know that people that don't understand adoption will not understand how I knew she was not my daughter.  I was glad that I looked at a child file to see how detailed (lack of details) it was.  It will be a leap of faith adopting from Bulgaria if every file if lacking the basics. 

I have been told for the 100th time that Kadin's adoption should be done within the next couple month.  We shall see!!!

Short post

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jessica

I told myself that I was not going to look at any waiting child list. First it seems like shopping for a child which is super weird to me; Second the guilt of knowing you can provide a better life for them all and not "picking" them; Third it makes me think "Why can't I be a better person?" "Why can't I make a difference in the world?" "Why do I complain about my life when they have nothing?".  Well I ignored all the above reasons and looked at several waiting list.  I was an absolute mess for weeks after looking at the list.  Thank God I have friends who have adopted who understand my the feeling.  I am going to try to not look at anymore list.

I am however going to change my "special needs" list to be open to more health concerns than I originally thought.  Some special needs are chronic health problems but can be easily managed by medication and create life long healthy lives for children if treated in the United States.  With my medical background experience and knowledge I have made some major changes/request in the child I wish to adopt. 

I am waiting to hear from my agency to see how I go about placing these new special needs on my paperwork to allow the Bulgarian government to know that they can match me with a broader range of children.  I guess it would be possible for my agency to find a child for me with my new criteria and then change my paperwork.  This seems like it would add weeks of waiting that I don't want to wait.  I am hoping I can change my USCIS(immigration approval for generic child) before I even get matched.

Anyway that is all I have for now.  I hope to hear from my agency soon about the next step in changing paperwork.  I do hope that the friends and family in my life will be accepting of the new changes in my adoption plan.  I believe a little education will make everyone comfortable with my decision. 

In my domestic plans....Kadin's paperwork will be sent to state for approval by DCFS this upcoming week.  Adrian and Arbieona go to court in March so we shall see what happens in both their cases.

I also found out wonderful new last night that my sister Casey is expecting her second child this October!!!! YAY!!!!

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jessica

Well I know I said that I would post every month but December was busy and I didn't have much to report.  I was so frustrated with the adoption process this time around and I am not sure why.  I sent my Dossier off to adoption agency at the beginning of November, they wanted 2 of my forms re-notarized, I did this and then they sent them off to Illinois to authenticate the notary stamps (or whatever they do).  Well the adoption agency didn't catch that 2 of my forms where completely wrong so Illinois kicked them back to adoption agency to be redone AGAIN.  I mailed those 2 forms back to agency who will then send them back to Illinois for approval.  They are suppose to be translating the papers that were correct.  I know that international adoption is unpredictable and one must trust in the US government and foreign agency.  It is very HARD to do.  I guess I didn't have any problem when going through Lennox adoption that I got frustrated quickly when I hit such a bump in the road so early in the adoption process. 

I did decided to stay with Bulgaria because that is the country that I was drawn to adopt my daughter from and I have to stick with the original plan and not give up.  I will be united with my daughter(s) one of these days.  To be honest, my life is pretty crazy with the 4 kids I have that I can't imagine being matching right now anyway.  I am on the same paper timeline that I was with Lennox adoption and I got my referral for him in June (6 months of waiting). 

I have joined a group on facebook of all individuals who are adopting from Bulgaria.  These individuals are AMAZING.  The individuals in this group of from various stages of adoption from Bulgaria.  Some are just starting paperwork, some are meeting their children for the first time, others are getting ready to pick their kids up and others adopted years ago. 

I know my last post talked about my agency stating that their is a 3 years wait for healthy children.  There is an individual who requested 1 child healthy and under age 2.  She waited almost 3 years without getting a referral. She changed her paperwork to state healthy up to age 4 this past spring.  Well she just got a match for a healthy girl age 4.  So after increasing her age limit it would seem that she was matched within 8 months.  I guess the 3 years stuck out in my head to the point that I couldn't think of anything else.  Well in all reality I am open to special needs, 2 children at one time, and children up to age 7.   I do hope that I get matched this year with my child(ren).  The process after getting matched seems quite a bit longer than Ethiopia's process.  It takes about 6 months until your child is home with you.  There is also the pain of having to update paperwork the longer you wait.  All I can do is WAIT the UNPREDICTABLE WAIT!!!!


Pictures of Lennox on his 3rd Birthday!!! December 10



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jessica

So as anyone could tell by reading my last post I was over the moon excited about finally getting USCIS approval and sending in ALL my paperwork which took me months to gather.  Well I got the dreaded email that makes every person adopting internationally hold their breathe. 

"The most significant factor is the increased wait time compared to the wait times from prior years.  Referrals for healthy children age 5-6 were given to families whose dossiers were registered between January- August 2010.  This means they have been waiting about 3.5 years. This also means that families requesting children younger than age 5 will most likely experience a wait time of over 3.5 years.  I have confirmed that there are children available under age 5, but each year there are fewer and fewer. Currently, there are no children younger than age 2.5"

WAIT WHAT!!!!! 

So I immediately emailed the agency to ask them to clarify this drastic increase in wait times.  I also email my home study social worker to ask her if she has heard anything like this.  My home study lady emailed me back stating that this information is not correct.  I emailed a lady who is also adopting from Bulgaria and she asked her agency (different from mine) and she states that this information is not correct. 

WAIT WHAT!!!!!

Okay so can I breath, is this a mistake.  I am not going to have to wait 3.5 years to meet my daughter.  Then I get a clarification email from my agency.

"I understand that this wait time is a definite change to what we expected several months ago. Bulgaria is now putting a hold on waiting child adoptions and will be focusing the majority of their attention on healthy child adoptions. This may speed the process back up, but for now we are telling families to expect a 3 1/2 year wait. I understand if this is not a timeline that will work for your family. "

WAIT WHAT!!!!

So what does this mean??  It means that I have my paperwork registered with Bulgaria and wait the given amount of time (3.5 years) to be matched.  During this 3.5 years my paperwork will expire which means having to submit new doctor appointment, financial records, new home study, and new immigration paperwork every 18 months (so twice).  This wait will not only cost me my sanity but also thousands of dollars. 

The second option is trying to transfer to another country.  Children of all nations will tell me what countries they will allow my current funds to be transferred to.  Every country has different requirement in the paperwork department, so I will have to inevitably have more paperwork filled.  and I will have to go through the immigration process again which will take another 3 months.  There is not an easy solution.  I have asked the agency to tell me which countries they will allow me to transfer to so that I can research them this weekend. 

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jessica
 

Well when I had my Biometric appointment September 24th I notified my adoption agency and they stated that I should get approval in 2-3 weeks.  Well it has been 6 weeks and I had heard nothing.  I got on the USCIS website and they stated that it was taking 2.5 months to process I800A applications.  I filled out my application August 24th. I was still within the time frame of 2.5 months, but I was slowly getting impatient.  I called USCIS today and they stated that I was approved to adopt on November 5th and therefore should be getting my letter in the mail today!!!! 

I got my letter today in the mail and everything looks perfect.  I called my sister to come over after work so that we could go through everything on my Dossier list.  I seem to have everything that is listed.  I started to copy everything before she came over just so that I would have a copy and then I guess I just got so excited to have everything I sealed the envelope before finishing copying everything.  WHOOPS!!!  I hope I don't need copies of it down the road. 

So the next step is.... I sent my (already sealed) FedEx package to Children of All Nations (CAN).  They review all paperwork and have to double check all my notaries.  I did notice that a couple of my notaries have now expired commission dates.  I hope that is okay since the paperwork was notarized before the expiration date.  If CAN decided it is not okay, it should be a quick fix.  One was a form from my work and the other from my doctor.  Once all my paperwork is approved, CAN will send it off to Bulgaria.  I will then wait for a referral (match with child).  This matching process can take anywhere from 8-18 months. 



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jessica

Today I went for my scheduled Biometric's appointment.  My appointment was at 9am so I left my house at 8am giving my self plenty of time.  MapQuest said it would only take 20 minutes but with my direction skills I knew I would need extra time.  Thank goodness I know myself because it took me the full hour to find where I was going.  I walked into the federal building at 9am, checked into biometrics at 9:05, and was back at my car by 9:15. 

Now I wait a few weeks until I get approval from immigration to bring Bulgarian orphan into US for immediate citizenship.  Once I get that approval form I can sent that along with my dossier to CAN for final approval.

I found this picture on someone's blog.




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jessica

The purpose of filing the I800A with USCIS is to basically get approval from immigration stating that the child that I adopt will become an immediate relative of mine.  I had to fill out an application that was 9 pages long, send in my birth certificate, Power of Attorney paperwork for adoption agency, home study, and check for $805.  The application covered very basic information about me, my lack of criminal history, country I am adopting from, and adoption agency that I am using.  The home study was also sent and the home study is a very detailed report about my life.  Once immigration reviews my file they will set up a biometric appointment for me.  This appointment is at a government building downtown St. Louis were I will go and get fingerprinted.  Shorty after this I should get the I-797 form. When my application to USICS is approved I will receive a I-797 form.  This form states that I have been approved by immigration to proceed with the adoption.   The current process for this is taking 40 days. 

I have to get the immigration form before I can sent in the rest of my paperwork in my dossier.  My adoption seems to be right on track.  It is my goal to have my paperwork sent in, approved, and on it's way to Bulgaria by the end of the year.  The adoption agency website states that after Dossier is logged in with Ministry of Justice (MOJ) in Bulgaria then it is taking 12-18 months to get a referral. 

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jessica

August 3rd I received my FBI clearance in the mail and sent a copy to home study agency.  I then picked up my internationally required physical (yes third time I had to get it corrected) from doctor on Monday the 5th and sent that to home study agency.  My social worker got my home study finished and sent it to interstate compact on Tuesday.  This process takes about 2 weeks.  Interstate compact has to endorse my home study.  I think this just means they agree with social worker's assessment.  Once I get the endorsed home study then that can go to my adoption agency in Texas for review.  This review only takes a couple days.  They will request for social worker to make any changes that they see fit.  Then I will get home study back and apply for immigration (USCIS).  Immigration wants a copy of home study before they will grants me permission to bring an orphan into the country for citizenship.  The immigration process takes a couple months. 

I asked Kadin this past week if he was excited to be getting a sister.  He said "No, I don't think so".   I asked him if he would help me paint her room and he said that he thought her room should be painted black.  I asked him why he thought she would like the color black.  He told me that she would wants her bedroom to be the same color as her skin.  I told her that his new sister was not going to be black.  He then told me that last time I got a baby from an airplane that it was black.  He is so smart!!!  I told him that this time she might be a little darker than us, like having a really nice tan.  He then tells me that we can paint her room brown.  He said he wants her to be happy and match the house.  At least he is trying to be nice.

I did buy her a backpack purse from a 31 party that my sister had.  I even had her name embroidered on it.  This is the first thing that I have purchased for her!!

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jessica

So after 29 call to psych doctors I finally had a psych office state they would help me get "mental" clearance for my adoption as required by the Bulgarian government.  I showed up to my appointment at 8:45 which was 15 minutes early due to the fact that one usually has to fill out paperwork.  The paperwork they gave me was asking the normal psych type questions.  How often do you talk to people who nobody else can see?  How often do you hear voices?  Can you control your homicidal thoughts?  Do you have support when feeling suicidal?  WHAT????? 

The office did not have a notary on the day of my appointment even though when I set up my appointment they said she would be there.  So I figured I would have my appointment and then come back with a hired travel notary ($50-$100) to fill out my paperwork.  Well at 9:30 the doctor still was not in the office so the secretary apologized on behalf of the doctor and stated that she was calling in her mother who was a notary, but she would be a little bit.  I said it wasn't a problem because it was going to save me a trip back and money. 

A teenager was in the office his appointment was at 9:45, so the doctor showed up at 9:50 and took him back right away.  About 45 minutes later and many games of tetris later a women busted through the front door and went straight up to window to check in.  She was crying and talking about how she wasn't sure she would live and needed to see doctor right away.  I knew my appointment was not life threatening so I figured she could go ahead of me and I would wait again.  This lady seemed in great distress and I didn't want to get in the way of the doctor helping her.  The lady sits a couple seats down from me and is still upset, she gets on her cell phone and starts talking about how she can't believe that her friends monkey died..  Yep you read right, a lady that she knew from her community had her pet monkey taken away by the authorities because the monkey bit a child.  I made up my mind at that second that this lady was not going in front of me.  She clearly had a problem that being seen 1 hour earlier in my spot was NOT going to fix. 

So at 11:00 the doctor finally calls me back, we notarize the paperwork first so the notary can leave.  She sit down in her over sized leather computer chair where her feet don't touch the ground.  She has a spot light shining on her so she can see her paperwork and a fan blowing right in her face most likely due to her sweating through her floor length black velvet dress.  She asked very basic questions about if I have ever had therapy, been on psych meds, been hospitalized for psych problems.  She asked about my social life, work life, and stress level.  10 minutes later and a check written for $250 I was out the door with relief that it was over!!!!!

I also have been taking many many photos of Lennox and that I need to put in my dossier (I need 4).  I hate myself in pictures, but Lennox is so cute so I will post some of them on here and then one of the kids on the 4th.





 

Well my last post talked about the hurdles that I have been facing in gathering the proper paperwork.   Well I went today and had to redo paperwork for the third time, I had my medical exam today and it went great except for a little anemia that was found and a bladder infection.  The doctor was amazing and spent almost an hour with me to make sure that my paperwork was done properly.  I am going to fax it to my agency tomorrow to double check that it is okay. 

I also went Sunday evening to get fingerprinted for FBI clearance, well they didn't have the proper card so I figure what the heck, I will send it in.  Well it can take weeks to get clearance so I didn't want to risk it.  I went back up this morning and someone printed the proper finger print card for me.  I dropped that application in the mail.

There is also a need for paperwork from DCFS, well they basically said they would not be assisting me because they can't/wont/don't do these forms.  My amazing social worker for my homestudy is working on figuring out how to get these forms. 

I also need 6 photos to send into the agency.  3 of these photo at minimum have to be of the entire family.  Well I hate having my picture taken so I have only 2 pictures of me and the kids.  I guess I am going to set up a photo session in a couple of days.

I did talk last post about needing a psych eval and not being able to find anyone to perform this eval.  Well my 30th phone call was good luck.  I called an agency call ITIC(I think I can) behavior health and they have agreed to perform my assessment.  I have this arranged for July 11th.  Lennox has his physical July 16 and then everything will be done.

Don't get my wrong I still have weeks till FBI clearance and then I have to start immigration process that can take many many weeks.  Then my paperwork will go to Bulgaria after it is authenticated which can take months.  So I am far from the finish line but making progress feels good.

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jessica 

One step forward in the adoption world can equal TWO very big and frustrating steps backwards.  I had to get lab work done for my adoption, it came back slightly abnormal but nothing to be worried about.  I was just happy to have it done.  I got a call from my doctor today that she wants more blood work done because of the abnormal value's that were found.  I then has a visit with my social worker asking about my paperwork that I gave her 2 days ago.  Well my employer notarized my paperwork wrong.  I had to redo the paperwork yesterday.  Then my social worker asked how long ago I had sent in my FBI clearance.  I said that I did not.  She said that it can take up to 8 weeks to get clearance back.  I also have to get a psych eval done by a psychiatrist stating that I can mentally parent a child from another country.  I called 11 psychiatrist last week and they all said they do not perform these type of evaluations.  So I have hit the ever frustrating roadblock of adoption paperwork. 

Another frustration this week was having a co-worker of mine state that she didn't understand why someone that has their "own" children would adopt.  I stated I had my "own" child and was continuing to adopt.  She then stated "No you have adopted a child, You know what I mean".  Yes I know exactly what people mean, it is called being uneducated about adoption.

hopefully good news next time
jessica

I received my paperwork for my second mailer last week.  This second mailer consist of all the paperwork that is needed for my dossier.  This is what everyone in the adoption world calls the paper chase.  Well I set up my physical for July 2nd (had blood drawn on Sunday), ordered pictures from Shutterfly to give to Bulgarian government, signed 3 Bulgarian contracts, signed 3 financial Bulgarian contracts, wrote letter of intent to adopt, filled out financial form.  Tomorrow I will get Bulgarian POA form notarized, financial form notarized, and another declaration form notarized.  I already have certified birth certificate for myself and Lennox.  I have other forms I need to get from DCFS/social worker that need to go into my Dossier. 

I emailed a friend last week regarding her adoption to Thailand.  She is at the end stage of her second adoption.  She is going to go pick up her daughter this week.  Her daughter is a couple months younger than Lennox.  I told her I was so jealous that she was going to get her daughter and how stressful the paper chase process can be.  She told me that she felt the same way about the paper chase because it is the only part of the adoption that is somewhat in your control.  Once you hand in the paperwork/dossier the US government and foreign government take over. 

Anyway, I still have a lot to do but it feels great to have some progress in gathering paperwork.  I just need to have patience with DCFS that they can get me the paperwork I need in a timely manner. 





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jessica 

Today I had a visit with DCFS for them to approve the use of my own beds for international adoption.  This is part of the process that I do not understand.  I am a licensed foster home for 2 children already.  I now have to get two different pieces of paper from DCFS that state they will increase my foster care license to cover my adopted children.  I do not understand why DCFS has any say in the children that I bring into my home. Anyway there is nothing that I can do about it so I had my visit this morning at 1000.  They have agreed that I can adopt internationally.  I just need DCFS to figure out what two pieces of paper I need, right now they are unsure of what the international agency needs.

I then had a visit at 1400 with Susan my homestudy social worker to update my homestudy.  The homestudy is a major piece of the "paper chase" process.  This is basically a very detailed biography of your life including thoughts and feeling on adoption, financial records, family life, childhood, work life, home layout, children in the home, background checks and so forth.  I already had a homestudy with Lennox 2 years ago so this is just an update.  I told her about my new foster son Adrian, my families' new jobs, and current social life which consists of playing with my children. 

I also will hand in my "first" mailer to Children of all Nations tomorrow.  This mailer will have POA to Children of all Nations notarized, drivers license copy, and second payment of $2200.  I will also start working on the list of updates for my homestudy.  Updated driver license photo, passport photo, employment verification letter, and a few other small things. 

I have to say that it feels GREAT to be starting this adoption

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jessica

So anyone who knows me realizes that I seems to talk about adoption no matter what topic is at hand.  I love children, I love being a mom, and I LOVE adoption.  It seems like such a perfect way for me to build my family.  Maybe that is because I have seen parents of my foster children take their children for granted or I have seen the desperation and heartache of the parents and children in Ethiopia. 

I let myself get so overwhelmed by all the different counties requirements that I thought I would not adopt right now and I would focus on moving.  Moving into a larger home where my children could have their own rooms, a house that had a dining room for family dinners, a house that had a nice big backyard.  Well those are all nice thoughts but at the end of the day I see the children in Ethiopia that don't have homes, parents, food, love, or a yard.  It doesn't matter if my children share a room while they are young, we all sit around a tiny kitchen table for dinner, or have to walk to the park.  It does matter that I adopt a child to become part of my beautiful family created through adoption.

So to keep this a short post, I will hopefully be posted more regularly now.  I have sent in paperwork to update my homestudy and will be filling out the formal application to adopt with Children of All Nations (CAN).  I am super excited to start this crazy journey again.

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Jessica

Well I will get straight to the point.  I have been researching starting my next adoption.  I have been looking at different countries for about 4 months now.  The research process is almost as frustrating as the "paper chase".  I really thought that I would adopt my future daughter from Ethiopia, but they recently closed to singles.  I feel like I have looked into every country over the past 4 months and I am no closer to finding my daughters country.  I have looked at DRC (dangerous), Hong Kong (doesn't like foster parents), Ethiopia (doesn't like singles), Honduras (6 weeks in country), China (youngest in home must be 6), Philippines (singles can only adopt 9 year old and up), Korea (doesn't like singles), and much much more.  So as soon as I find a country I will start to blog more, just like I did when I was going through the process to adopt Lennox.



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jessica

Well no real big news here.  Kadin and Lennox still don't really like each other.  Lennox is picking up on Kadin's little attitude.  Lennox isn't talking yet but he has an attitude problem.  If you do something that he doesn't like, he will look right at you and grunt really loud.  He is also starting to hit when he is upset.

So I finally got a stool sample in for Lennox (bc of a mix up at the lab) and it turns out he has Giardia.  Well Kadin started to poop just like Lennox so he has Giardia too.  The antibiotic that the doctor put them on is rare and I still do not have it.  It has been 5 days since the diagnosis, so I am hoping I get the drug soon to treat these poopy boys. 

The pictures above show Kadin in the car when he was 15 months and Lennox in the car right now being 15 months.  Lennox looks so much older than Kadin did at 15 months.   One of the pictures is of the two of them under the high chair.  They some how wedged themselves in tight that I had to lift up the high chair to get them out.  Silly boys.

Like I said nothing real big to update.
more later

Jessica