4D3N Taiwan Trip: Taipei, Shifen & Hualien 31 Oct 2015 11:23 PM (9 years ago)

So last month I went to Taiwan. In case you’re wondering what to do in Taiwan for a short 4-day 3-night trip, read on!

Since I’m more of an adventurer, not a shopaholic, we spent only a day in Taipei, and the other two days in the outskirts, which were Shifen and Hualien. So here’s how it all went down.

Before you continue reading, I have to warn you...the alignment of this post is fucked up and I tried fixing it until I was on the verge of throwing out my laptop so. My apologies if reading this makes you want to claw your eyes out.

DAY 1

Upon arriving Tao Yuan airport, we took a shuttle bus to the High Speed Rail station, and took the

HSR to Taipei Main Station.

Obvious Tourist

From there, we walked the underground subway to reach our hotel which was just opposite the exit.

However, the walk was a good 15 minutes from the train station to one of the MANY exits, and I felt

cheated by the hotel reviewers at Agoda. But the hotel was okay. It even received a Trip Advisor

award.

The first thing we wanted to do was of course to find food. And so we asked where the nearest

local eatery was. The receptionist pointed to an MRT station and told us to go there. Yeah, there was

none nearby our hotel wtf. Seriously what the hell, Agoda reviewers?

We then took the MRT to the suggested station , which was Dongmen.

Now this is a lively area brimming with shops, restaurants and people, unlike our hotel area, ugh.

The first thing we noticed was the people. People lining up at stalls and restaurants. You can’t help

feeling intrigued by the long lines and that was the cause of our joy and pain during our stay there.

WHAT COULD THEY BE LINING UP FOR?!

The local restaurants there are tiny, and mostly packed. We went into one that was not so packed and had

our lunch there. To my disappointment, my first Taiwanese meal was horrible. The meal I ordered

was tasteless as zero fucks.

After our non-satisfying lunch, we decided to join the queue at a dessert shop selling desserts that

looks like you may poop gold.

15 minutes later, we emerged with this baby. Absolute heaven, but no gold poop.

Mango snow shaved dessert something something

After dessert, the first tourist attraction we went was to ride the Maokong gondola. Since our time

was really precious, like we only had a day to visit like, all of Taipei’s places of interest, we decided

to travel by cab to save time. And to be honest, walking in Taipei’s subway to reach the stations is a

feat, unlike in Hong Kong or Singapore, which are very direct. Or maybe I’m just getting too old for

this shit.

And so we were driven all the way up to the Maokong hill. There were food stalls lining the narrow road, so

of course we had to try some of ‘em.

This is only an introduction on what Taiwan has to offer

We then went to the gondola station, and rode in the crystal cabin all the way down to Taipei. It’s

called a crystal cabin because…

Yup, a see-through floor not for the faint hearted.

20 minutes later, we were back in the heart of the city. To our surprise and secret joy, there was a ridiculously

long line of people queuing up to get on the gondola. The RM40 cab ride became worth it

immediately.

The gondola ride stops at the Taipei Zoo MRT station. You could go to the zoo and see pandas while

you're there, but I do not fancy seeing animals in captivity so we took a cab to Chiang Kai-Shek

Memorial Hall, another must go tourist spot. What’s there,well, a big ass memorial and a mini

historical museum.

It’s a place for good photos and history lessons.

From there, we then took a cab to Taiwan’s famous Taipei 101 Tower.

This was the best shot we could get with the tower. Sad, I know. Of course, going to Taipei 101

isn’t complete if you don’t go all the way up the tower. However, you need to be mentally and

emotionally strong to go to the top of the tower. Be prepared to get in the longest fucking line of

your life. Queue time: 1 hour.

We almost wanted to give up but we persevered. And perseverance got us this view.

What's this? Skyscrapers for ants?

After spending like, about 15 minutes actually enjoying the view after queuing up for what felt like

an eternity, we took a cab to Shilin Night Market.

There are many night markets around Taipei, but if you are tight with time, visiting this one is

sufficient, says Google. Shilin night market covers a long stretch of street, and it is packed with

people, and hey, more lines everywhere!

Not a crowd of people. Just a fucking line

It is an interesting night market though – various street food and trinkets.

Exactly what you think it is

However, I wasn’t that impressed with the food, maybe ‘coz I didn’t bother to join the long lines of

the more superior quality of the food that I bought.

The Penang version of the Oyster Fried Egg is waaay better than this disappointing gooey mess they call food.

After covering the whole market, we then took the MRT this time to go back to our hotel. ‘Coz the

MRT station was just right in front of us, so it would be prudish not to.

DAY 2

Our plan for Day 2 was to go to Shifen to see the waterfall that appears in Google images when you

google 'Shifen' and to release sky lanterns. ‘Coz that is what that place is famous for. And so we

hopped on a local train and alighted at Ruifang.

From Ruifang, we took a train to Shifen.

And this is what Shifen looks like.

A still in-used train track cutting through the town

A quaint little town, blessed with wide-eyed splurging tourists.

And when the big ass train arrives

The trackless side of the town

The first thing we did was have lunch, which was the recommended braised pork rice. And since I arrived Taiwan, it was the best meal I had. No photos because it was too good to waste time for a photo.

After lunch, we went to Shifen National Park which was just a 10 minutes walk from the twon, and took anther 30 minutes walk to where the infamous waterfall is.

We soon reached the gem of the park.

My Iphone definitely couldn't do justice to this beauty. You're better off Googling images taken with good cameras.

And yes there were people. People everywhere. Even taking pictures with the waterfall requires patience in lining up.

Back at Shifen town, we did the most touristy thing there, which was lighting sky lanterns. You can write your

wishes on the lantern...or you can write lottery numbers. It's like sending a direct message to the

Gods of Luck.

In which yes, one of the numbers did come out, albeit third prize, damn it. Flying the lanterns is just

a really simple activity, yet memorable, so no wonder people flock here just for that.

When we were done, we took a train back to Ruifang, and while waiting for the next train back to

Taipei, we walked around Ruifang town, buying some famous street food that just tasted okay.

Back in Taipei, we headed straight to the infamous Ximending shopping district, the Harajuku

street of Taipei.

I don’t usually shop when travelling, but the temptation was too hard to resist. I caved and bought

several tank tops and bralettes (which costs double in online shops) and a pair of pumps and even

combat boots. Both shoes only costed me NTD1000 (RM132).

Definitely a shopping haven for shopaholics. When not looking at stuff, we sampled food that we

saw people lining up for.

Some were worth the queue, some were not. Nonetheless, Ximending is a really vibrant area, and I

would’ve booked a hotel at this area had I known.

DAY 3

Day 3 was the day we went to Hualien County, which is about 2 hours away from Taipei, to visit

Taroko National Park - to see the eyegasmic gorge I saw on Google images. We got on the earliest

express train (about 6 a.m.), in which I booked the ticket online a week before, as I heard it is really

difficult to get an express train to get there. Also, I pre-booked bicycles as that was my plan all along. To have

a little adventurous sightseeing.

Upon arriving Hualien Train Station, Mr. Lu, our bike renter, picked us up there and brought us to

Taroko National Park. He then drove us way up the gorge.

Starting point

To our horror, there was no cycling lane! Just a perilous, winding, cliffy road with occasional

warnings of falling rocks.

Nope. No cycling lane.

Well, it was an adventure I signed up for, so it was an adventure I was going to get.

After setting up our bikes, Mr. Lu then left us and promised to meet us somewhere in the middle

of the gorge.

And then our little adventure began!

I for one am not used to cycling (last cycle was about 20 years ago – what), so it was pretty scary

getting a hang of the bike while fighting away panic attacks when there were incoming cars zooming

past us. As if the steep cliffy road wasn’t daunting enough.

Despite all this, I regret nothing! And this is why:

Bluish river, projected by unique limestones

A tiny town in the middle of the national park

Stopped like every 5 minutes for selfies

Legend says there's magic here. LOL I just made that up. But just look at how magical it is.

Passing through tunnels along the way

The majestic greens

A hanging bridge somewhere around the park

The view from the bridge

It's a good day to be alive

Exactly like those old-timey Chinese calenders

Indeed, cycling is the BEST way to soak in the beauty and magnificence of Taroko, without

being herded like sheep in group tours, and with only little use of energy ('coz you barely cycle when

going downhill), compared to taking a full hiking tour (though that sounds incredibly fun as well). Plus, it’s cheaper than chartering a cab to take you down the gorge.

Weeeeeeeee

The sensation of the cool wind blowing your face as you cycle down enjoying the view – priceless.

Another bonus is you get to look down at the other tourists who lead boring lives by joining tour

groups, and you’re there on your bike looking so awesome, bounding to make them jealous.

18KM and 5 hours later, we finally reached the entrance of the park.

We took that long as we made many stops for photos. It was one of the best tours I had in my

wanderlusting life.

Even though we just rented bikes from Mr. Lu, he happily brought us around Hualien, for a free

sight-seeing tour.

He took us to a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, which was stunningly blue.

IMAGINE DIPPING YOUR BUTT NAKED BODY HERE

And of course he had to take us to a touristy marble store, and of course I had to buy a unique pink

marble (only available in Hualien, it's birthplace - so I was told) as a memento.

It's uniqueness comes from it's likeness of having a painting within the stone

Before sending us back to the train station, he treated us a fried bun snack, a Hualien special. Since

we didn’t book an express train back, as we weren’t quite sure how long our cycling tour would last,

we just hopped on a local train to a station I can't for my life recall, and took an express train from

there back to Taipei, reaching at about 8 p.m.

For dinner, we just bought a bento dinner set at 7-11, and it was one of the best meals we had there.

This beats the restaurant meals we had. No wonder we saw many Taiwanese eating from bentos most of the time

DAY 4

Since our flight was early, we decided to just take a NTD100 cab ride to the airport, had an amazing

Szechuan breakfast at one of the restaurants there, and flew back home.

Taiwanese dumplings

Hence, ends another great trip with memories that will last for a lifetime.

And as usual, tips!

1. Accomodation

Our hotel at a secluded area

Our hotel, Taipei Main Inn was clean and comfy, but it’s just isn’t that convenient. Even though it is

sort of near to Taipei Railway Station (10-15 minutes walk), Ximending or Dongmen is where the

party's at. Unless you are planning to travel out of Taipei and need to be near the railway station.

2. Getting around

As cliche as it may sounds, do enjoy the journey, not just the destination

Travelling around is quite convenient, but the train system here can be quite overwhelming. There’s

the MRT, High Speed Rail, local and express trains. God knows how many hours I spent doing

research on these bloody trains. In case your itinerary is the same as mine, here’s a little guide for

you:

Airport to Taipei - Go the the U-Bus counter at the arrival hall > Buy a shuttle bus ticket to HSR

Taoyuan Station > At HSR Taoyuan Station, buy an HSR train to Taipei Main

Station.

Taipei - There are MRTs stations at most places of interest. Alternatively, you can just take a cab around the places of interest in Taipei if you are sick of walking already.

Shifen - At Taipei Main Station, buy a local train ticket to Ruifang Staion > At Ruifang Station, get a day pass to Pingxi > Alight at Shifen train station. Since you have a day pass, you can alight at any stations before or after Shifen if you plan on more exploration.

Hualien - Book an express train online 1-2 weeks prior your planned date from Taipei to Hualien

Station. From the station, you can get a cab to Taroko National Park. Or you can get Mr

Lu to take you there.

3. Food

All the oily glory

To be honest, we didn’t really enjoy the food much here. Which was so ironic as Taiwan is

supposed to be a food haven. And most travel bloggers are raving about it. I guess we are the weird

ones. For us, the food just tasted okay. Some were remarkable though, no doubt. And the only non-

street food meals we enjoyed was the braised pork and rice meal at Shifen, the minced pork noodle

bento we picked up at at 7-11 and the Szechuan noodles at Tao Yuan airport. The others were just

okay. Maybe if only we had more time, we’d probably be able to sample better foods. Nonetheless,

Taiwan is abundant with street food, bound to fulfill your cravings for everything oily and fattening.

And the only way to find out if it’s good, is to get in the longest line. There’s where your love for

food will be put to the test.

4. Shopping/What to buy

Minced pork flavoured instant noodles, tea, flavoured beer, pineapple cakes and Hualien's special super spicy garlic chili sauce

You could buy Taiwanese food products that aren't available here, and I heard beauty products are

all the rage there as well.

And yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. Do shop in Taipei! If you’re a fashionable cheapskate,

Ximending is the place for you. Also, they pride themselves in their locally made products, as you

can see in their ‘MADE IN TAIWAN’ stamp.

5. What to wear

The season at that time was summer, and the sweltering heat was similar to our country Malaysia, so

bring out your shorts and tank tops. Something that I should've done.

Or battle with sweat trickling down your pants

6. Safety

Taiwan is relatively safe, but that doesn’t mean you can put your guard down.

7. Touring Taiwan

If you’re the adventurous cheapskate type, yes, you can tour Taiwan on your own. The people there

do speak English, especially at touristy sites. However, if you do plan to cycle down Taroko Gorge

like we did, you need to rent your bikes from Mr. Lu (luicelu@gmail.com). And he will take you

around Hualien for free – but of course, don’t be an asshole and not give him a tip for his free service.

Also he doesn't mind if you ask him to take a million photos of you in the same pose. Maybe.

All in all, Taiwan is a wonderful place to explore, so if you are short with time, just choose the

places that might interest you, whether it's the urban jungle, or literally a jungle.

My ass hurt, but the experience was worth it

Ps: Here's terribly shaky video of my cycling adventure.

Padas White Water Rafting Experience 30 Aug 2015 10:56 PM (9 years ago)

Somehow, I feel like blogging in 2015 is the equivalent of teenagers still liking Justin Bieber in 2015. And due to the dwindling freedom of media expression, Thumper from Bambi taught me that if I have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. With the current events going on, yes, I do not have anything nice to say. See, who says Disney doesn't teach you anything but sexism.

So from this moment on, this blog will be more of a travel and lifestyle blog, or honestly, a BROG (brag blog - hah I just made that up), about anything about my awesome life that is worth making your eyes roll.

So for today's brog, it will be about my recent (well two weeks ago) experience braving the rough waters of the Padas River, right at the backyard of my home, Sabah.

Initially, we planned to go for the Kiulu White Water rafting, but after hearing people say that it is only child's play there, we decided to go where the big boys play, even though we were virgin rafters and non-swimmers. The water level at Padas is at III-IV, in which if it reaches to V, it will be close for rafting. So like, IV is one level less than a suicide raft.

We started our journey at 6 a.m. from Kota Kinabalu, and reached Beaufort at 7.40 a.m. 10 minutes later, we boarded the "antique" train to Rayoh train station. Why did I air quote antique (yes the "..." is an air quote)? 'Coz it's more like 'hey our train has never been upgraded and looks like a junk from the 40's, but we have tourists and stuff getting on it so let's call it 'antique', bitches love antique stuff".

At 10.45 a.m., we reached Rayoh station, and here was where we signed a waiver form (yeah, if you die rafting, they'll just leave you for the crocs), briefed on safety and changed to our rafting gear.
Then we boarded the train again to go to Pangi station, and that's where the fun was.

The thrill was of course beyond words, so check out the video below to see what I mean:

As you can see, we DID capsize. At the strongest and longest rapid. How did it feel? I SWEAR I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DROWN. Though we were under for only a few seconds, it felt like an eternity to reach our arms out of the water and to gasp for air. Even with a life jacket, it was really hard to stay afloat as the rapid sucks you in and out of the water, wtf. Only after realising that I was able to breath albeit gurgling water at the same time, I was able to calm my tits and remembered the guide's advice to just relax and lay on my back till safety came. And yes, I was rescued by another raft 'coz my raft was already far far away in another realm (ok that was an exaggeration). In fact, we were all separated and some were rescued by different rafts as well. Somehow when we regrouped and began our next rapid, we were no longer afraid of the water and we're like, Padas, bring it on bitch. But only one of us went for the body rafting - a suicide swim in the rapids.

An hour and a half later, we emerged from the rough waters feeling like m'fukin' heroes.

So after our little adventure, we got back to the tour operator's station, showered and had lunch.

Then we boarded the train back to Beaufort, then to KK again, reliving the thrill over and over again in our heads on how awesome it was, while being thankful that we made it out alive.

Now that I sorta made you want to try it someday, here are some tips and details!

1. Clothes - Anything that you are comfortable in swimming. Website guides state that you must wear strapped sandals, but when we got on the raft, we were told to remove it anyway so, if you go there in combat boots or stripper heels, no one's gonna stop you.

2. Food - You only need to buy your own breakfast and eat on the train. A simple buffet lunch awaits you after the rafting. Simple as in fried rice, fried noodles, chicken wings etc. Don't expect a salad bar. Soft drinks and beer are sold though.

3. Valuables - You can keep your valuables (cash and phones) and change of clothes at the tour operator's station. You have no choice but to trust them as you can't possible bring your belongings on the raft.

4. Photographs - There will be a photographer to capture your finer (and not so fine) moments, at a cost of RM150 per raft. You can split the cost with your raftmates, with the ones who are in most of the photos to pay more, and the ones barely there to pay less to be fair. To be in ALL the photos, be the little bitch that you are and seat in front. Of course, you need to know how to swim in order to get that spot.

5. Videos - There was no videographer during our session, but I mounted my SJCAM (the cheapskate verson of GOPRO) on my helmet. To ensure everyone gets to be in the video, we took turns wearing the action-cam mounted helmet. Initially we wanted the guide to wear it, but for legal reasons, they are not allowed to hold clients' property. Of course, it is risky to mount it on your helmet as it may fall off, and yes, mine was on the brink of falling off when we went under, so it's a risk to take to be able to get awesome shots.

6. Maneuvering/capsizing - The guides will do the maneuvering, you just have to paddle. There's a possibility of capsizing, intentionally or unintentionally, so just wait for that shit to happen and stay calm (after freaking out for a few seconds with your life flashing by in your head). And you should capsize, if you don't, you will never experience Padas' great rapids. That's the whole point of rafting.

7. Non-swimmers/fear of water/wear contacts - This is exactly me, but if you are a true thrill seeker and adrenaline junkie, this will not be a problem. It will be exhilarating bouncing on the rapids , and when you hit the water, you will be scared shitless, but once you are out of the water, that's when your adrenaline comes rushing.

Tour operator: Borneo Ultimate Sports Adventure Tours
Price: MYR200 per pax (2-3 pax), MYR180 per pax (4-7 pax), MYR170 per pax (8-10 pax), MYR160 per pax (11 pax above) [inclusive of transport and lunch]

Would I do it again? Hell to the yes.

The Living Photograph by Jackie Kay - An Analysis 7 Feb 2015 5:17 AM (10 years ago)

Okay so this post is school/student related so, there will be no bashing nor bitching here.

If you are still reading this, then you are probably a Form 4 student, an English teacher or someone who is neither both but just in love with me.

So this year marks the new cycle of the English literature component for Form 4 and Form 1.

One of the poems that is required to be taught is The Living Photograph by Jackie Kay.

Since there are no reference books yet, yours truly had so much free time to spent 'coz she's no longer planning the wedding of the year. You're welcome.

***

The Living Photograph

My small grandmother is tall there,

straight-back, white broderie anglaise shirt,

pleated skirt, flat shoes, grey bun,

a kind, old smile round her eyes.

Her big hand holds mine,

white hand in black hand.

Her sharp blue eyes look her own death in the eye.

In the photograph, the persona's supposedly "small' grandmother is "tall'. Her hunched back grandma (hence the word "small") was still youthful and "straight-back" and so she looks "tall" in the photo. "Straight-back" could also signify she was poised and composed. She is wearing a "white broderie anglaise shirt" and a "pleated skirt" which shows she was a woman of class, upper or middle.

She was a kind and loving person "kind, old smile..." and she accepted and loved the persona unconditionally - "Her big hand holds mine, white hand in black hand". See Jackie Kay is half Scottish, half Nigerian, and she was adopted by a Scottish family. The persona could be Ms Kay herself, or a character that she wants to portray as biracial, hence the "white hand in black hand".

The persona's grandma was a fiercely brave person, a person who wasn't afraid of death - "Her sharp blue eyes look her own death in the eye."

Note that her *spoiler* grandma is dead, and yet she refers to her in present tense. This shows that she is alive in her heart, and that the state of her grandma in the photo is how she wants to remember her.

It was true after all; that look.
My tall grandmother became small.
Her back round and hunched.
Her soup forgot to boil.
She went to the awful place grandmothers go.
Somewhere unknown, unthinkable.

However, the persona's grandma didn't stay like that in the photo. She started to grow older and develop a hunch back. Dementia set in - "Her soup forgot to boil". And in the end, she died - "She went to the awful place grandmothers go." As a kid, the persona didn't understand what that place was, it was just "unknown" and "unthinkable".

Note that in this stanza, the persona refers to her grandma in past tense when describing her actual state before dying. As the grandma is described in past tense, this also shows that the persona is over the tragedy; and that this small, hunched back senile woman that was her grandma is now dead.

But there she is still,
in the photo with me at three,
the crinkled smile is still living, breathing.

Nonetheless, despite watching her grandma growing old and die, the memory of her still lives on. The persona doesn't want to remember her grandma as old and senile, but she wants to remember her as how she was in the photo with her when she was three years old - poised, loving and fierce. She will always be alive in her heart and the good memories will live on, noted by the use of present tense once again.

Two themes are clearly seen here. One, it is the positive image people create in remembrance of a departed person. The persona wants to remember her grandma as how she was in the photo, not the days before she died. When our loved ones die, we no longer see the ugly side of a person, whether their physical appearance before dying (aging, diseased,bad plastic surgery), their horrible attitude (was a bitch/dick) or bad habits (substance abuse). We will remember them in their prime age, the great things about them and their contribution to society. Look at how all those hated, heavily criticised drug abusing, trash-talking, plastic surgery-loving celebrities are being revered and paid homage to only when in death. We forget and forgive all their shortcomings, unfortunately, only when they die.

Another theme is the coping with grief and loss. And one way to cope with grief and loss is to hang on to the good memories of a person, instead of remembering the painful way he or she died. The persona who was struck with grief by the loss of her grandma found a way to cope with it - which is to keep it in her heart that although her grandma is not with her anymore physically, she is still alive in her heart. This is probably the best way to deal with loss, by telling ourselves that even though that person is not with us anymore, he or she will always be with us in spirit. Believing in it brings comfort and closure.

***

I hope you find my analysis helpful. If there is anything you'd like to add or question, I'm open for discussion.

Stay tuned for the next poem analysis, The Charge of The Light Brigade (an extract) by Lord Tennyson.

P/s: NOT PLANNING A WEDDING FEELS SO AWESOME. I LOVE NOT PLANNING A WEDDING!

3 Reasons I Don't Blog As Often 25 Jan 2015 5:27 AM (10 years ago)

'Sup people!

I just realised that I haven't posted anything yet this year and it's almost February. And I do realise that I don't blog as much as I do. Last year I had a royal wedding, so that was my excuse for the lack of posts. This year? Okay I know nobody really cares but let me explain.

Reason 1:

I now mostly share bits and pieces of my life through Instagram. Unlike blogging where I would spend about an hour drafting explaining myself, I just let the photos do the talking. So please let me spam your Instagram newsfeed with my exciting life adventures...or more like my dogs'.

So if you like puppies, me, or both, follow me @amandachristinewong.

Reason 2:

I used to give my two cents on current issues. However, I find current issues today are getting ridiculous. Ridiculously stupid, annoying, racist, discriminatory, violent and tragic. I would so love to get my bitch on such issues but when I'm not left speechless, I'm left fearing for my safety. Bloggers who have opposing opinions are thrown into jail now. Certain people are extremely sensitive now, like a newly-pubescent dick - say something "insulting", be prepare for bloodshed. It's a dangerous world for highly opinionated people like me to continue doing what we love. So as of now, I'm toning it down. 'Till people can get their head straight and humour back. And the government to stop treating bloggers who refuse to be their sheep like criminals. In this country, freedom of speech is permitted, only if you are not against them.

Reason 3:

By not dissing about current issues and idiots, I basically run out of ideas on what to write about. So if you have any topics you'd like me to run my mouth on without me getting my Facebook profile screen-capped and sent to the police, I'm open to suggestions. If not then:

However, these three reasons doesn't mean I'm retiring from the scene. As long as I have a million things to say (in a polite manner) or things to share, I'm still staying here. I will try to blog as much as I can, when I can't write a thousand word essay on IG. And if this blog can't insult stupid people anymore (for now), it will stay as informative as possible - as wicked as it always has been.

Idiots have been on the news since the beginning of the year, have you ran into one lately?

Happy New Year 2015! 31 Dec 2014 10:10 PM (10 years ago)

Of course, this is another one of those obligatory blogger posts.

But first, happy new year 2015! To those who are still reading this. Question to ponder: do people still read blogs?

Anyways.

Resolutions. LIKE ALWAYS.

Last year (which is the year of yesterday), I didn't set any resolutions.

Where did that got me? I got married. And I bungeed. And I ran a 10K marathon.

NOT making any resolutions was probably the best thing I've ever done.

Life when unplanned, can take you to many places you've never been. On the other hand, it can also make you penniless, homeless and worthless. So be careful on the paths you thread in which life unplanned takes you. It's exciting as well as dangerous. You might end up like me, getting married. What.

So for this year, there's only two things I want to do.

To chill and to seize the moment.

Since I've worked hard in planning a wedding last year, I deserve to chill this whole year. Run more, read more and play my favourite video game.

And to seize the moment as in to find new adventures in life. Whatever it may be. I could be skydiving in Australia or giving birth in a speeding taxi, who knows.

There will surely be challenges ahead, and life changing decisions to be made, but 2015, bring it on biyatch.

I hope your year would be better. And a big shout out to all those who are suffering now, mentally, emotionally or physically ('coz you know, 2014 was quite a bitch for some -loss/missing planes/natural disasters/mass murder/oppression) - things will get better. If it doesn't, do realise that you yourself have gotten stronger from your adversity and you WILL get through it.

Let's kick 2015 in its ass. CHEERS!

Here's our mushroom soup reminding us it's a new year.

14 Things I Did In 2014 28 Dec 2014 11:07 PM (10 years ago)

Yes yes, this is another recap post all bloggers feel responsible to do, as if people care but they do it anyway for self-empowerment, boredom and traffic.

So this is my version of rounding up my year in one post.

1. I survived planning a wedding

Planning a wedding is the worst, but I made it out alive.

2. I received my last angpao of forever

And next year? Oh the horror.

3. I lost the furry love of my life

It was and is still the greatest pain I have ever felt in my life.

4. I got engaged

It was the most adult thing I have ever done.

5. I ran my first 10K marathon

I lost a toenail and it is pretty deformed now, but it was worth it.

6. I finally have beautiful skin

#nofilter #nofoundation #naturalbeauty

7. I had my bachelorette party

Big black dick cake, countless shots, broken shoes, random tourists, on-stage appearances, BFFs - that's how you end your fabulous single life.

8. I got married

Got me a person for life.

9. I went to Hong Kong

Birthday trip woot woot!

10. I went to Hong Kong Disneyland

The happiest, most magical and nostalgic place on earth.

11. I went to Macau

Got to take a photo with this archaeological wonder.

12. I did the highest bungy jump in the world

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

13. I spent the first Christmas away from home

But with a husband. Lol. Wonder how long it would take to get used to that.

14. And finally, to top it all off, I chopped my locks off

It is an unspoken custom for newly weds to trim their 'wedding locks'. I went a little crazy I guess.

And that is how my 2014 went.

How did yours go?

Wedding Services That I Used & How To Stay Sane When Planning A Wedding 23 Dec 2014 2:08 AM (10 years ago)

It's been a month now since I walked down the aisle.

Everything turned out well, as planned and unplanned, albeit not without little minor issues here and there, but on that day, I really had no fucks to give, and so I had the best day of my life.

Would I go through it again?

A wedding is a beautiful, fantastic day, but one is enough. Now I know why people say 'you only marry once' (traditionally). Because planning a wedding is a bitch. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

From the beginning of day 1 until the eve of your wedding, say goodbye to sanity, and say hello to stress, anxiety and emotional and mental instability. Your relationship is put on the ultimate test - there will be countless suggestions and threats of postponing, canceling and even taking a break -forever. Not to mention the amount of crying and the verge of cutting, whether in the room, on the bathroom floor or in public. If you survive this, then yay, congrats, you gonna be strong enough when shit hits the fan during your marriage.

During the final week of the wedding, I couldn't wait to get married. Not because I couldn't wait to spend the rest of my life with the hubs, but I just want it to be over so that I can get my life and sanity back. Now that I have my life and sanity back, I am happy to spend the rest of my life with the hubs.

So for those who are planning or about to plan a wedding, my condolences to your normal, happy, sane life.

To help you out (because I'm a really nice person), here's a list of the best people/service (in my opinion) to be at your service (if you are based in Sabah of course):

1. Venue/catering : Juta Hotel & Sutiah Corner Restaurant (Keningau)

1. Bridal studio : Memories Bridal Gallery (KK)

2. Actual day photographer: Lucas Ting of Memories Bridal Gallery (KK); Nicklaus Wong (Keningau)

Credits to Lucas Ting

Credits to Nicklaus Wong

3. Videographer : Bryan Kouju (KK); Charles Able (Keningau)

4. Emcee & band : Joe Balanjiu Jr. & band (acoustic/jazz) (KK)

5. Sound & lighting : Mysound (Keningau)

6. Cake : Rufina Undan (Keningau)

7. Invitation cards : Ideal Print (KK) & Khalifa Affnan (Keningau)

8. Deco: TJ (Keningau)

9. Makeup artist & hairstylist: Ewan & Johan (Keningau)

Since I'm married and have gained like 10000XP in planning a wedding, here are just like 3 tips I think you could use to stay sane.

1. Get all the help you can get

It's going to be overwhelming, even if it's just a one day event. So get a wedding planner or an adviser to help you in every single way. Get an event coordinator/floor manager to make sure your day/night goes smoothly. You can't afford to go ape shit crazy when something goes wrong. Let your floor manager do the ape-shitting crazy. You need minions to assist you (if you have a gaggle of bridesmaids, then they are your minions). Don't just choose them for the photos, choose them for their dedication to put your needs first. Get a hard drinks supervisor to make sure the waiters don't steal your liquors and wines. Get a cake supervisor to make sure your cake won't go missing. Liquor and cake heist - true story.

2. How to save budget

Money is ALWAYS the issue. Going over budget will drive you to the wall. So if you want to save budget, DIY anything that is DIYable. Of course you need talent for that. If you're a talentless loser, then get your bridesmaids to do it.

Also if you want to save budget, you could do away with having an army of bridesmaids. I only had one maid of honour and one bridesmaid. Okay I might be lacking in the female friends department (not because I'm a sad loser - but because all my gal pals are far far away and my female colleagues are all married with 3-4 children and I'm left with male friends who can serve no purpose in this time of girl power need), but at least I got to save a lot.

Also, another way to save a lot of money is not by spending too much of pre-wedding photos. Invest instead on actual day photos and videos. You can have tons of pre-wedding photos in the future, but you only get to do your wedding once. Unless you want to go through all that planning shit again.

3. De-stress

You fucking need this. Find out what works for you well. Working out is the best way for me to de-stress. There was one time I was really stressed that I almost went for a run in the middle of the night in a thunderstorm. Thank god for common sense. Oh I also had shots of vodka to calm the nerves. Hm, stress drinking and eating are actually bad for you, so take it easy (if that's your de-stressing method). Better yet just go for a run, play with your dog/cat or do tv shows/movie marathons when things get too much. Don't go to the kitchen.

I hope you find this helpful, and I also hope that you won't change your mind to get married after reading this. I know I make it sound terrible, but that's just probably me, and I'm not your average girly girl who has a dream wedding since she was six. I know some people who LOVE planning weddings and they actually miss it. You might be that kind of person, and you might actually enjoy it.

But one thing's for sure, whether you will revel in planning your wedding or you will have episodes of suicidal thoughts, I can promise you that on the day of your wedding, you will be free of anxiety. It's like you have used up all your fucks prior the wedding and when the big day is finally here, you will have none to give. Even if you still have fucks to give, just let it go. Your bridesmaids are late? Fuck it. Your cake is missing? Fuck it. You tripped and fell on your face? Just fuck it. You have gone through a lot to give a flying fuck. Whatever disaster happens on that day, it will remain a disaster for that day, but it will be a legendary tale to be told in every family gathering until your third generation until they get sick of hearing how grandma's boobs slipped out of her wedding dress.

A disastrous photo of a drunk bride that I will cherish forever

So dear future newly-weds, your roller-coaster ride starts now. HAVE FUN, STAY SANE!

Hong Kong & Macau: 5D4N Trip 19 Dec 2014 10:43 PM (10 years ago)

So the day after our wedding, we went to Hong Kong.

Many, well, everyone assumed it was our honeymoon trip. But it's not! It's a birthday trip because it was my birthday week, and I had planned this even before I knew was getting married this year.

We will have an official honeymoon trip. Someday. When the economy is looking up. Okay fine, I guess I can double this birthday trip as a budget adventurous city honeymoon.

Day 1

Taking a direct flight from KK, we reached Hong Kong 2 hours and 30 minutes later at about 7p.m. We share the same time zone so there was no confusion with time. A cousin of mine provided us with the Octopus card, which is a very handy card to be used when traveling using the MTR or buying groceries. So after we topped it up, we took a train right to Tsim Sha Tsui station, where our guesthouse, Hao's Inn, was located.

However, when we reached the supposed location of the guesthouse, there was no sign of it existing there. But when we asked around, they did point us to some direction. But it was still nowhere to be found. We then literally looked at the address and literally followed it. Turns out the guesthouse was IN a building on the fifth floor. And on that floor, there were a few more guesthouses. Only there you can see a signage wtf.

And so when we reached our room, we were shocked and at how tiny it was.

For a RM180 per night room, this is what you get. It's probably just 12ft long and 5ft wide. Space is not a big thing here.

After checking in our store room, we then went on a food hunt around the Tsim Sha Tsui area.

It looks like a tourist area, with lots of high end restaurants and bars. We did manage to find a cafe that serves local food.

Hong Kong is famous for their roasted geese so yeah, it was incredible.

Still burned out from the wedding, we went back to our guesthouse for ants to recuperate for the next day's agenda.

Day 2

Day 2 was Disneyland day!

You can read all about it here.

Day 3

On our third day, our main agenda was to go to Madame Tussauds wax museum. However before that, we wanted to go see the longest outdoor covered escalator system in the world at Central. We took an MTR to Central and like, true blue tourists, we used Google map to help us find it. We also managed to find a restaurant that serves gigantic crispy roasted pork.

Okay the noodles look like a lot like Maggi when I removed the veges (don't ask me why I removed the spinach) but it only tasted a little like Maggi. But the pork was heaven sent.

After breakfast, we continued our little adventure and found it.

This goes all the way up!

Actually there's nothing special about it, just another form of transportation for the people of Hong Kong. It's just that it is 800m long and it's a 20 minute ride till the end! The sights that we encountered:

The heart of Hong Kong

Skyscrappers

This cute Greek restaurant

SoHo - the upper class/expat area

The escalator stops at a condominium. To our horror, there was no escalator going down! So being the brave souls that we were, we just made the 800m journey back down by stairs.

Walking was a great way to experience Hong Kong. Dead tiring, but worth it. Because we found a famous stall!

Apparently it is famous for its food, heck, there's a photo of Chow Yun Fatt eating there, but we were still full from breakfast so we just got ourselves their famous ying yong, a coffee milk tea something something drink.

And then we came across a market selling souvenirs. Central is not the best place to buy souvenirs (Mongkok is), but the place was shut down at that time due to the student protesters. We then decided just to buy stuff from here.

After we were done shopping for OTHER PEOPLE, we then headed to The Peak, where the infamous wax museum is.

There was SO MUCH WALKING just to go the tram station. I think we walked for about 15-20 minutes from Central MTR just to get there.

The tram has this old skool touristy feel, yet it is a legit form of transportation here.

The Peak is a shopping mall waaay on top of a hill, and there lies fake celebs in it. Once we got in the wax museum, we went crazy.

Good thing no one called security. After exhausting our phone memory with silly photos, we went to the building's observation deck.

It was freaking chilly! We only lasted for like 10 minutes up there despite paying a fee just to see the whole of Hong Kong covered in haze.

Outside the mall, this is how the mall on the hill looks like.

Later that night, we went to the famed Avenue of Stars at Victoria Harbour. Turns out it was just a 10 minutes walk away from our guesthouse.

It's basically the Chinese Hollywood walk of fame, with their palms printed on the plated cement. And then there were statues we can fool around with.

And oh, at 8 o'clock every night, there's a light show you can watch.

Not as eyegasmic as in Disneyland, but pretty enough to watch.

After it was over, we continued adventuring finding our dinner and yes we found a place that apparently appeared in a newspaper review. And yes it was delicious.

Day 4

Day 4 was our Macau trip! Which was also my bungee jumping day! Which was also my birthday! DOUBLE YAY!

So from Tsim Sha Tsui, we took a train to Sheung Wan station and after much walking, we reached the ferry terminal and bought our tickets.

It takes about an hour to reach Macau. But just look at the people! Don't know going to Macau for what.

The ferry that we took was TurboJet. It was comfy enough.

In Macau, we decided to stay at a better hotel as it is only for one night. So we pre-booked Hotel Lisboa at Agoda.com. I was too dead tired to take photos of the hotel and too excited to go for my bungee jump, so here's a photo from Google.

It was a fucking palace, compared to our average toilet-sized guestroom in Hong Kong.

We were welcomed with chocolates!

Only in Macau it felt like a honeymoon. If you catch my drift.

After checking in, we then took a cab and head towards Macau Tower for my birthday bungee.

Did I do it? AW HELL YEAH I DID IT. Read all about my glory here.

After the surreal experience of jumping, we took a bus (after asking the receptionist how) to a popular tourist spot, Senado Square. Along the way, we were awed by the Portuguese-influenced structures all around us. And it's Christmas in Macau as well!

Finally, after much walking, we reached the familiar yellow and black brick that I've seen on TV.

Also, amazing buildings everywhere.

Of course we had to stop by for lunch, and so we head to a Chinese restaurant that serves gigantic wontons.

And with guidance of the town map, we journeyed along the alleys to find the UNESCO World Heritage Site in Macau, the Ruins of St. Paul.

And then we found it!

Inside the grounds of the ruins, lay a crypt. It's an awesome piece of history that I'm glad to be alive to see.

But just look at the people! The place was crawling with tourists, it's hard to get a good shot, ugh.

The view from the ruins. SO MANY PEOPLEEE.

After taking gazillions of photos, we then walked along the streets, wondering why there were SO MANY people in this one particular bakery.

Turns out they sell the best pastries in Macau.

And indeed, their Portuguese eggtarts are wicked. Like, I'm never eating locally made Portuguese eggtarts again.

We then continued touristing and found the Monte Fort.

Funny story, we walked for like 15 minutes uphill to find this mother. Turns out it was just right behind the Ruins of St. Paul.

By night time, Senado Square came alive with lights.

In fact, the whole of Macau turned bright at night. Macau IS the Vegas of Asia.

We also got to see a dancing fountain at Wynn Hotel (it was just next to our hotel).

We then took a shuttle bus to The Venetian Macao. It is one of the most luxurious hotels and casinos in the Cotai strip of Macau. Everything is just incredibly fancy.

As we entered the shopping mall, we were in for a surprise.

It was sunny daylight in there. The mall was also a clever replica of the real Venice. According to our gondola rower (or driver)?

Being in 'Venice' of course we had to go on the fake Venetian gondola ride.

After that, we did try our hand in the casinos.

This was the minimum bet yet the only few tables that allow this minimum bet turned us away. Like shit, you gotta go all out here if you wanna gamble. Since gambling wasn't part of our budget, we just left like poor losers. We did try a few computer based games, but luck was so not on our side. I guess I used it all up during my bungee.

So we called it a day and got on the shuttle bus back to our hotel, completely exhausted.

Day 5

We didn't do much on that day, 'coz we were going to go back to Hong Kong. But before that, we went back to Senado Square to buy some cookies and eggtarts to bring back home. Also we managed to get a true blue Macau breakfast. Pork bun sandwich. It was delish.

Also, we stopped by at one of the MANY jewelry shops to buy us a wedding gift for ourselves, a pair of phoenix and dragon gold rings. If you're planning to buy jewelry, then Macau is the place to be. You'll be spoilt for choice. And the price is not too bad as well. Ok so maybe taking your significant other may not be a good idea...But I was just exercising my right and privilege as a wife.

We checked out of our hotel, took the next ferry back to Hong Kong, and went straight to the airport and voila, my birthday trip/honeymoon came to an end.

NOW TIPS! Just because I went to a place once I'd like to think I'm an expert already lol.

1. Attire: Depending on the weather, be prepared for chilly nights. And wear sneakers! Because you'll be walking the whole fucking time. It's like a 5 day walkathon. I broke my sandals by the fifth day.

2. Plan everything ahead. Like, we planned to go for the cable car ride to Lantau Island, but funny story, I thought the hubs already bought our ticket together with the Madame Tussauds ticket (yes, we got the tickets at the guesthouse). We still proceeded to the MTR to get there thinking, hey we'll just buy the tickets there. But when we reached there, it was already closing! In retrospect I did google their closing time (in the train, on the way) and we only reached there like 10 minutes before closing time but they won't let us up already. So what else could we do but just take a piss at their toilet and head back to our hotel. It was the most expensive (and long distanced) piss we ever took.

3. Budget wisely. Hotel and food are fucking expensive. Just look at our hotel. For a 3 star hotel, be prepared to spend about RM500. Food on average is about RM25 per meal. Drinks are RM8. I'm talking about a plate of noodle and a cup of coffee. But food is really good in Hong Kong. It could be our luck, finding good restaurants, but I'd like to think that.

4. Get the MTR card. It's so easy to travel by MTR. You can go anywhere. Download the map if you must.

5. The people there can be really rude. Not because they hate you, but it's just the way they are. Don't be shocked if you get shouted at and get bitchy stares when you enquire about something. Or when they throw the bill at your face. Oh and in Macau, we met so many cheaters and liars. From the taxi drivers to the hotel staff. Don't trust them. Trust your instincts and Google. For example, we were told that to get to The Venetian, we need to board like 3 shuttle buses from two different places, when in fact we only need to go to the ferry terminal and ride ONE shuttle bus to the Venetian. I don't know what kicks they get from lying, but that is so messed up.

6. It's cheaper to change your money in KK than in Hong Kong. I don't really know the maths but you will lose a lot when you change in HK. Also, you can use your HK dollars in Macau.

7. It is possible to go to Macau on a day trip, but bear in mind that the ferry ride is an hour long, and give yourself an hour for immigration clearance. There'll be lots of people going in and out of Macau on a daily basis.

8. There are so many humans in the city, whether the working class or tourists alike, so just be careful with your belongings especially when there are potential body rubbings (like in the train).

9. Buy the cookies from Pastelaria Koi Kei in Macau! And other food/drinks that are not available at home.

Yup, that is lobster flavoured instant noodles and cola flavoured JD - perfect when you don't have a mixer.

10. When flying back, make sure you get to the departure hall early. See it's not just 'downstairs' of the airport. You gotta go downstairs, wait for a fucking train, and then take a fucking shuttle bus ONLY then you'll reach the departure hall. I almost had a heart attack when I found out the departure hall was not just 'downstairs' and we only had 30 minutes till boarding. Luckily, boarding time concept is slightly different than the flights that I am used to. If your flight is at 8 p.m., then you will board the plane at exactly 8 p.m. No concept of gate closing 20 minutes before the flight. THANK GOD. Nevertheless, just get there early.

I hope you find this post useful someday and here's a photo of me grabbing David Beckham's crotch:

You're welcome.

Disneyland Hong Kong One Day Trip 17 Dec 2014 11:21 PM (10 years ago)

One of the highlights of my trip to Hong Kong was going to Disneyland. Which was one of the things on my bucket list too.

It's crazy that it took me 28 years (well, 2 days before my actual birthday) to step foot on the self-acclaimed happiest place on earth.

Was it really the happiest place on earth? Well, happiness is pretty subjective, but nostalgic, yes. Truckloads of nostalgia.

So we got our tickets from our guesthouse at a slightly cheaper price, at HK$450.

That means we don't have to queue up, but we still got up early to go there. See I'm still scarred from the line in Universal Studio Singapore and I did not want to go through that again.

We took the MTR to Disneyland. It was so easy!

They have their own line to get there. And their own special Disney themed train:

And a Disney themed station:

And then we were officially at the happiest place on earth!

To our delight, it's already Christmas in Disneyland!

Look at the crowd!

Of course, the first thing we did was to get on all the rides starting from Tomorrowland.

We did the Space Mountain thing, an indoor rollercoaster-ish ride and later on Autopia, a boring go-kart-ish ride.

Then, we headed to Fantasyland.

There's no thrilling rides here, just kid-friendly rides. We went for a gondola-ish ride in "It's A Small World" and it was magnificent, going through a tunnel of all the world's people, singing the song in different languages. I felt like a kid again! It was a fantastic marriage of art and engineering. Basically everything in Disneyland is.

After that, we went on another kiddy ride, a stunning old skool carousel. Of course there's nothing thrilling about, but there's just something so romantic with it.

Where I acted inappropriately as usual.

And then we headed to Toy Story Land.

Where all the toys are huge!

Here, I played the RC Racer, and this was the most thrilling ride here. There was one ride, called the Toy Soldier Parachute Drop but it was closed for maintenance, boo. But the RC Racer is not for kids despite it's kiddy appeal!

I thought I left my heart up there.

Next, we headed to Mystic Point.

Where a huge beautiful manor lies.

I don't recall watching the cartoon on Mystic Manor, but the electric carriage ride was fascinating as well. We were under the illusion that everything in the manor came to life.

We then continued on to Grizzly Gulch, where we had our lunch at a saloon. It was super cute.

Then it was pictures time!

Here, we played the Runaway Mine Cars. A rollercoaster-ish ride with naughty bears trying to detonate the mine and stuff, causing us to go really fast and backwards. It was nothing compared to the RC Racer though. Just a fun family ride. Though the girl in front of us was screaming like her heart was about to explode.

After that, we went to Adventure Land to visit Tarzan's crib,by boat.

The tree top was interesting, as it chronicles Tarzan's story until you reach the exit of the house.

And so we have successfully covered the whole of Disneyland!

Besides playing rides, we also went to its theaters to watch its live/3D shows. You have to go watch all the shows. The performances were splendid.

Seeing all the shows with the characters you grew up with again, major nostalgia.

While waiting for the parades and fireworks, we went around taking photos.

Surfin' Mickey

Medieval toilet

Sleeping Beauty's castle

A wishing well

This is a fucking foodcourt

Statues of Disney's power couple all over the foodcourt/banquet hall

Then came the Flight of Fantasy Parade!

The flawless band

The king himself

Major Toy Soldier

Lilo!

The crew working the parade was just amazing and flawless! I really wonder how they synchronise so well. I also wonder what sort of torture device they use to train these amazing people to enable them to sync so well.

By night fall, Disneyland was even more magical.

And then by night time, there was another parade! Paint The Night Parade - Almost the same floats, but with millions of mindblowing eyegasmic light works.

Did you know the music theme is different for every float? Yet everything syncs so well! It's sorcery I tell you.

And finally, the moment that every Disneyland goers had been waiting finally came.

The fireworks!

It was spectacular, magical and even romantic. It was the best firework show I've ever seen. Just beautiful.

Ok, this is a really crappy shot and it doesn't do justice at all to the actual thing. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE THERE.

In conclusion, Disneyland is indeed a magical place. Hell no it's not just for kids. For me, Disneyland is more for the adults who grew up with all the characters. Do you seriously think a 4 year old kid now knows who Snow White is? All they know is Elsa. There were so many 4 year old Elsas. I think Disneyland was built for kids, it was also made for the grownups in mind to get a cup of nostalgia. It really brings you way back to your childhood. I seriously felt like a kid again! It took me back when I was kid, sitting in front of the boxy telly, watching videotapes of recorded Disney movies/shows over and over again, never feeling bored, and even saying out the lines of the characters, when no one was looking. Dem feels.

So, if one day you do plan to visit this magical place and to get back that old feels, here are some tips:

1. Get your tickets earlier, whether online or from the hotel you're staying at. Yup, I got mine from the guesthouse I stayed at. You gotta beat the line.

2. Go during a non-school holiday. We managed to finish Disneyland in 3 hours because there was barely a line. It was so nice not to have so many humans at once!

Barely no one!

3. Dress lightly, but bring a sweater too. They said it was going to be cool in Hong Kong, yet I was drenched in sweat when in Disneyland. It got cooler at night though. Wear flip flops or sneakers 'coz there'll be lots of walking.

4. DO PRACTICALLY EVERYTHING. Ride all the rides, watch all the shows and parades. Get the park map and the showtime schedule.

5. Take photos everywhere! Because it is magical as fuck. You can take photos with the celebs i.e. Mickey, princesses etc, but there's going to be a line. For me a photobomb was just enough.

6. If you're bringing kids, well I don't really know what would a good advice would be. All I know is there are souvenir stores all over, so you either have to bring extra cash, or a really thick cane. The stuff there is not cheap.

7. There are lots of cafes and stalls selling food, but it is extra expensive. I guess packing some food would be a great idea. Especially when you have kids who will want to buy all the Elsa dolls in the stores.

This was about RM50. Yep, just this.

8. Get in place early for the best view for the parades and firework show. Hopefully you're not behind an asshole who records EVERYTHING and all you can see is the recording of the live scene.

9. Don't be the asshole who records everything, blocking other people's view. Live the moment.

And lastly, use your adult hard-earned 200 bucks to enjoy being a kid again.

I know I did - although I was 2 days going on 28 and 3 days married.

Achievement Unlocked: Defied Gravity Doing AJ Hackett Macau Tower Bungy 16 Dec 2014 8:23 PM (10 years ago)

YES I DID IT.

I DID THE HIGHEST BUNGY IN THE WORLD!

And how did it feel?

Fucking awesome x100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.

I've always wanted to go for a bungy the moment I knew this crazy activity existed. Like, it had become that one thing I have to do before I die. It would be a dream to do it.

I tucked that dream away, only having wishful thoughts whenever I see people doing it on TV or in the magazines. I still want it, but being a dream, you can only dream.

Until I watched an episode of a Korean reality show called Runningman.

Finding out that the HIGHEST BUNGY IN THEWORLD is just a 2 hour plane ride from home, I decided that I HAVE TO DO IT .

And when would the best time be? ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!

And so I managed to convince my then-fiance to go for a 'budget honeymoon' to Hong Kong when all I wanted was to bungee on my birthday in Macau.

After checking in our hotel, we took a cab to Macau Tower.

The bungy station was at the 61st floor. WHAT.

Upon registering, I was given a waiver form. Like, they do not want to be responsible if you die during the jump. They will just pull your lifeless body up and put it on a stretcher. Or, I don't know, I didn't even read it.

Then they hand me the bungy t-shirt to wear and beckoned to the harnessing station.

They took my weight and wrote a number on my hand to signify the weight I should be in as weights were going to be added.

The bungy station

And then I was given my 'boarding pass'.

Ignore the dyslexic typo and that is not my actual weight in case you are curious

And I was all set.

Kinda. I felt so nervous I could die. I didn't have any second thoughts or regrets, but I just felt like, OHMYGODOHYMGODTHISISHAPPENINGITSTERRIFYINGSHITSHITSHIT.

I mean just look at that height! That's 233m yo! That's more than half a running track!

I am not exactly afraid of heights but just look at that motherfucker. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing the whole time. If I had eaten my mom's spaghetti, I would've puked it. (An Eminem reference, anyone?)

AM I? AM I?!

It was so nerve-wrecking and I felt like my innards were shutting down. But I still wanted to do it so bad.

I hesitated at first and missed my first countdown.

And then I took a leap of motherfucking faith and motherfucking jumped.

And achieved my motherfucking dream.

The first 5 seconds of the free fall was by far, hands down, the most terrifying feeling ever. It is just you and gravity pulling you. Nothing holds you back. Nothing to support you. It is just you and that crazy fuck called gravity. Your soul be like, fuck this shit, I'm out, and that is when you feel that out of body experience.

However, by the time you reach the rebound, which is when you feel the rope pulling you upwards, everything fell into place. You suddenly feel safe. Your vision becomes clearer and you're back in your body. And then your adrenaline just shoots up all over the place. And all you can think is HOW FUCKING INCREDIBLE IT WAS. And then you get to enjoy the spectacular view. Words fail to describe how I felt that time but all I can say, it was fucking awesome. I even teared up a bit - not because I was afraid, but it was just too awesome. It was so awesome I cried a bit. Have you ever experienced something so awesome that you cried? No right? I'm telling you, this is the shit.

By the time I reached the ground, I was shaking with excitement and I could barely feel my legs. As I staggered back to the tower, I was stopped by a group of tourists who saw me before the jump (and instantly became a poster girl for bungy as announced by their tour guide). They were so excited to see (that I survived I guess) and interviewed me about my jump and even take photos of me like I'm a motherfucking rockstar. I did feel like one lol.

But my little adventure wasn't over. I also signed up for the Skywalk as there was a package offer. Initially I only came for the bungy, but I was told by adding another RM30, I could do this plus a free t-shirt and photos, so okay. The skywalk is basically just walking around the 5ft wide rail-less deck around the tower.

And doing crazy ass shit (while harnessed in safety of course) all around.

Was it scary? OF COURSE IT WAS SCARY. Not as scary as the bungy though. The platform was wide enough to dance and you are harnessed all over...just don't look down.

All in all, this would be the most epic birthday I had ever have. It was also my first time in 10 years not going clubbing on my birthday and I would trade all the parties in the world to do this over and over again. As crazy as it may sound, this shit is addictive. Adrenaline do create junkies.

So by now I'm sure you're dying to know the damage on my wallet.

Macau Tower entrance + Bungy + Skywalk + Photos of Skywalk + 2 t-shirts + lifetime member card = MOP3012 = RM1291.79

Photos and video of bungy = MOP799 = RM350

It's incredibly ridiculous how much my dream costs. But for the experience? Priceless.

But I do get a 50% discount on my next 2 jumps (all over the world) and a free jump after that, so that's nice.

In case you too have the same dream as I did (did!!!) or reading this has sparked the inner dare-devil in you, here are some tips for you to get by:

1. Payment: No booking nor deposit required. Just get yo ass there and pay at the counter before going to the 61st floor.

2. Getting there: If you're from Hong Kong, you can take a one hour ferry ride to Macau, and then take a taxi or bus to Macau Tower. Taxi's are super expensive, so if you're not in a hurry, do your homework in which bus to ride. We were charged RM50 for a 10 minute cab ride. Fucking asshole.

3. Attire: Wear shoes and tie your hair. But it's okay if you don't wear shoes, they will provide you with a pair anyway. Tie your hair because who knows, it might get entangled with the cord, I mean, it might not too, but just be safe. Also they will provide you with a flimsy rubber band, or what we Sabahans would call, gatah sayur. The kind that would rip half of your hair when you let it loose. Oh, you will be asked to wear the free t-shirt because that's your badge of honour and you deserve it.

4. Special occasion: If it's your birthday or whatever, do email them telling them so that they will prepare something special for you. Unfortunately my email apparently went unread and all that they can give me was a kiss. Really. But I know someone who was promised a teddy bear but she insisted for a free t-shirt and she got it. I was too terrified/excited to be insisting on stuff that didn't matter at that time.

5. Photos and videos: Bring extra cash for it. You might not want to purchase the photos and videos initially, BUT you will want to after watching yourself fall 700ft from the air in HD and thinking, this shit doesn't happen everyday and you HAVE to show your grandchildren what a badass you were when you were young. Also, for bragging rights. Your friends will be like, "video or it didn't happen" and so you can proudly shove it in their face.

Hard evidence

4. Stay motivated: DON'T CHANGE YOUR MIND. No matter how scared you are, how stupid of an idea you think it is, or how drenched you are in your pee. JUST DO IT. This kind of experience will probably only come by once in your lifetime. You do not want to have any regrets. Life is too short for it. YOU NEED TO MOTHERFUCKING JUMP.

Click here for more information on AJ Hackett's crazy ass activities. Or check out here for other AJ Hackett locations. There's one in Singapore already! EVEN CLOSER TO HOME!

And here's how I did it.

"Do something that reminds you you're still alive" - AJ Hackett

Next on my bucket list: SKYDIVING.

The Big Badass Wedding - This Blogger Is Officially Hitched 12 Dec 2014 11:32 PM (10 years ago)

Remember the time when I said marriage is like the scariest shit of all and like why must we go through it I don't wanna do it please don't make me do it?

Oh wait. I never said it out loud.

Planning a wedding is a traumatic experience; and committing your life to one person forever and then tearing your vagina so that a rugby ball sized slimy human can crawl out of it to spend most of it's time growing to make you miserable until that little thing goes to college - is fucking scary.

For me. I could be an isolated case, but yeah, I was never ready for this kind of grownup shit.

But I did it anyway.

Ask me what's the craziest thing I have ever done and I will say, THIS.

Getting married.

Jumping off from a 233m tower doesn't come close to this.

Oh yeahh, will totally brag about this but today is not the day.

Today, I want to talk about how I made that step. I had lived on the edge all my life, enjoying it to the max, until I met that one person, the only person, whom I would make a free fall with from that edge, no matter how much I loved it up there. The fall was going to be scary and full of uncertainties, but he took my hand and we made it. We took the plunge.

So here's a recap of what went on during the biggest, craziest day of my life.

Before Mass

The holy matrimony was going to start at 10.30 a.m., so I got up at 5.30 a.m. to get ready for makeup at 6 a.m. It was the weirdest feeling ever, looking at my puffy face at the mirror and telling myself, bitch, you gettin' married today - make sure you get your shit together. See I cried that night before. And I downed multiple shots of vodka. And then I got better. Thank god for the Russians.

Anyways.

I got my makeup done without breaking down - I imagined I would definitely ruin my makeup, but on that day, I was strangely calm. My brain was no longer crazy paranoid and anxiety driven like it was the day after I was proposed and the whole year that followed. It's like there was an anxiety lever on your wedding day and your brain was sane enough to finally shut it down after a year of nightmare and released the rainbows and butterflies.

Thankfully I had a bunch of ladies to to get me through the dress, the nails and whatnots. So this was what they say about the advantages of having sisters. It's nice and handy. Am still happy being the only girl though. Or else mom wouldn't have spent so much effort in helping me with the wedding.

After makeup, we had a little photoshoot session. Well, the photographer and videographer did their thang throughout makeup anyway.

Of course, there was chaos at home - coz half of my relatives were staying in and they had to prepare themselves and their kids, and some were trying to sober up. Yeah, there was a huge barbeque party the night before in which I didn't get to enjoy the Philipino special roasted pork as I was in my room, weeping on the floor, drowning in alcohol.

And so it was time to go marry my man.

The Holy Matrimony

By the Lord's grace, everything was in place.

I got off my royal carriage like a um, royal.

I walked down the aisle like the little princess my mom had been dreaming about since I was born.

And there he was, my Vin Diesel/Pitbull/(insert any clean shaven artist) kind of a Prince Charming with sweaty palms waiting for me.

Then my dad handed me to him as he said his final advice and wish to the new man who was going to take care of his little girl. It broke me.

Luckily the onion ninjas stopped cutting by the time I reached the altar.

Then the mass proceeded as it should - saying our 'I do's':

Exchanging rings:

By the way I totally got the ring hand wrong! But nobody noticed it so yay. We changed it surreptitiously right after.

The unveiling:

Fun fact: A veil symbolises a bride's virginity. Hence when the veil is unveiled, it totally means the groom has finally gotten the green light to pop her cherry. So in good faith, let us all assume that all veiled brides are virgins. ALL of them.

The kiss:

Yeah we took our time. So you know, witnesses had enough time to snap our photos.

And la di da di da, boom! We're married! We fucking did it!

You know how I'm pretty unconventional sometimes? We decided to ditch the royal carriage and walk to our luncheon hall at the hotel across the church.

Up the overhead bridge:

And cross it like a boss.

Until we reached our destination, albeit sweating profusely under the sweltering heat.

The Luncheon

By the time we reached the luncheon hall, it was packed.

Well actually we gave it about half an hour for the guests to move to the hall as they had to take turns to get on the only two available elevators to go to the tenth floor. Some desperate cousins took the stairs lol.

We went to our luncheon immediately when we got the cue. Since we were short on time and there was going to be a dinner rehearsal right after the luncheon, we dived towards our cake for the cake cutting ceremony.

And moved to the champagne popping and toast.

Had our lunch (was incredibly starving), said our hi's to the guests and went straight for our dinner rehearsal. So if you were there, and you only met us for a brief moment, that was the reason.

The Wedding Reception

Some guests came rather early to our surprise, considering our typical Malaysian bad habit of arriving to a function on time.

By 7.30 p.m., it was show time. More like, grand entrance, food presentation and dining.

There was supposed to be a confetti pop but apparently it was faulty, what the hell.

Being the bride and groom, we probably sat at the least exciting table as our VIPs were senior family members. Seeing my friends in the next table, I kept it hard not to pull my chair and join them.

The food presentation was pretty blah but who cares right. Food was more important than a bunch of teenagers stumbling on what they call a presentation.

Then came the cake cutting ceremony.

And the champagne popping and the toast.

Obviously, the camera knew what was going on with me. I was already tipsy during the cake cutting ceremony. Not that I'm a stupid drunkard but it was to prep me for something I was going to do in a bit.

There was the father and daughter dance.

In which we only practiced two days before the wedding. Imagine practicing two days for waltz. You get lots of stumbling and giggling.

And then the first dance with the hubs. Lol, hubs. Also, a dance we practiced only the day before.

And then! Our surprise dance routine.

This was why I had to get tipsy early. You don't pull a Beyonce sober.

After the dance routine that made me cringe when I think about it and makes me want to cry when I watch the video, we went on an obligatory yamseng mission to every table.

There were lots of dancing when not yamseng-ing.

And there was a surprise!

A birthday surprise! My event coordinating team was just the best.

More excuse for them to get us drunk.

And then there was this little naughty game organised.

And when we did it it's like we won an Oscar or something.

Then we continued with more yamseng-ing.

Oh yeahh...old clubbing habits die hard, or will never will.

Then there was more dancing.

Until it was time for us to go back to our hotel room, ridiculously wasted.

The rest of the equally wasted guests moved the party to a nearby club in which I would've left the hubs and join them had we not have ANOTHER reception to do the next day.

The Kampung Reception

Yup, I woke up at 6am the next day to prepare for makeup at 7am for the kampung reception. Years of clubbing experience, especially during the times when I have to get up early to go to class (study/work) the next day, has prepared me for this particular day, to wake up as fresh as the first morning dew and to continue my duty as a smiling bride. See? Who says clubbing is bad for you when you don't count the lack of sleep, ashtray hair and unknown bruises?

Anyways.

The kampung reception was all about tradition. Since the hubs is of Dusun and Chinese descendant, we were treated to both traditional cultural affair.

For the Dusun part, they have this tradition called tambalang. It is where the bride sits pretty in her room while the singing party comes and brings her to the groom's house.

So this was me being tambalang-ed. From my parents room though, as my own room looked like it was hit by a tornado.

They did not stop singing until they brought me to their car, rested for a while, and then continued singing.

And they sang again when we walked all the way to the hub's house.

And when we reached the hubs place, my entourage was welcomed with the tinagai, a sweet traditional alcoholic drink before we were allowed to enter.

And then the hubs and I were treated to the customary tapai, or rice wine.

After that, we were in for the Chinese tradition part.

Then came your everyday wedding reception itinerary. It would be our third time going through the cake-cutting ceremony, champagne popping and toast.

And as usual, lots of eating, singing, dancing and of course, drinking.

It was indeed the ultimate clash of two cultures blending into one.

And then, it was officially over. One year's worth of planning, stressing, fighting and crying was all worth it for this big bad wedding.

I'M SO FUCKING GLAD IT'S OVER.

And I'm so glad and thankful for everyone who was involved planning this badass day, and those who came to celebrate the first day of our lives together. Not forgetting the wonderful wishes from those who couldn't come. You make it all worth it. And I would say now, hey, it isn't that bad you know, getting married. You're gonna have tons of fun like we did. If you don't count the mind numbing planning. And you know your wedding is fucking epic when you hear the most insane wasted tales that happened to your guests. And of course also from those who stayed sober and managed to witness everything that went down.

The hubs and I can barely remember everything that happened after 10 p.m., but we knew we had the best time of our lives, and it was for us, a great way to celebrate our first day together, by owning it like a boss.

So everyone, this for you:

Now that I'm married, I'm going to prepare a jar for every dollar I'm going to put in when someone asks me when a rugby ball sized slimy human being will tear out from my vagina.

5 Things To Look Forward After The Wedding 16 Nov 2014 6:33 AM (10 years ago)

I'm getting married next week.

Can you feel my terror?

Is that normal?

Am I abnormal? Sometimes I feel I am. That I lack the amount of estrogen needed to make me feel more like, "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T WAIT TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE IN A WHITE DRESS LIKE HOW I DREAMED ABOUT SINCE I WAS SIX", rather than "OH MY GOD MY FABULOUS SINGLE LIFE IS OVER."

Like a white girl, I just can't even.

After almost a year of planning, stressing, crying, breakdowns and meltdowns, the final week is finally here.

Don't get me wrong - I adore that person I'm gonna marry next week. He's my favourite person in the world.

It's just that, marriage. It's a lifetime commitment. It's a whole new game.

As much as I'm excited to marry my favourite person in the world, I also feel like having a mental breakdown thinking about the biggest and most important day of my life.

So in order to keep me from thinking about how I am probably going to mess up my own wedding after a year of painfully meticulous planning, I'm going to create my own happy place and think about the things I want to do AFTER the big bad wedding.

The 5 things I look forward are:

1. Hong Kong birthday trip

It's the next day after our home reception. I wouldn't consider this as our honeymoon 'coz you don't romp in backpackers hostel during your honeymoon, do you? So let's call it, Amanda's Birthday Trip.

2. Bungee jump from Macau Tower

If all goes well, I will be able to cross this off my bucket list. This gets me more excited that walking down the aisle in a white dress. True story.

3. Chop off locks

After the wedding, there is no reason to keep dem horse mane.

4. Get my nerd on

After a year of doing adult stuff like planning a wedding and getting married, I badly need to heal and be a kid again.

5. Lots of spooning

And free forking.

So yeah, CAN'T WAIT.

6 MORE DAYS TO GO BIATCHHHH.

Yoga Pant Malaysia 7 Sep 2014 9:02 PM (10 years ago)

Yoga pants.

What started out to be just a utility wear, you know, for yoga, has now become a fashion staple for women.

To delight of most heterosexual men.

Photo credits to 9gag.com

What's the difference between yoga pants and leggings?

Photo credits to 9gag.com

Okay then. Moving on.

I used to shy away from yoga pants and leggings because my thunder thighs always seem to look like they're trying to escape from the stretchy confinement. But then I thought. Why do bigger gals with even thunderous thighs have the guts to wear them? Where are all their fucks? Is it just self-loathing? And so I decided to take a leap of faith. I bought a pair, which are the 'jeggings' variation of yoga pants, online. I said to myself, if I hate it, I won't be able to return it like how I did a hundred times at clothes stores. I have to wear it once to get my RM15 worth.

And then I did.

I was like, guuurl, you got ass! Yes, I talk to myself sometimes in a sassy black woman's voice.

My insecurities flew away like the fucks given by them yoga pants wearing big gals that instant.

With my new-found enlightenment that yoga pants do not discriminate body types, this post is about how to werk it in 3 ways.

1. Yoga pants, for well, yoga

It's comfortable and lightweight. Bitches be lying if they say they don't dress to impress, even during a workout. So ditch your mom's sweatpants and slither into these babies, throw on a basic tee and a pair of sneakers, and boom! You are now a poster girl for a fitness ad. If you're plus size, then you'd be a plus sized fitness model. Why do this? Because you wanna look good. When you look good, all eyes will be on you. And when all eyes are on you, you will work that treadmill or scorpion pose harder. Hence, a more efficient workout.

2. Yoga pants as bottom wear substitute

If you think jeans are suffocating and wearing shorts or skirts is out of the question due to your horribly scabbed legs, yoga pants are your solution. It can be treated as trousers, minus the thick texture, so you can wear it with clothes that are a bit nicer than your workout outfit and sex-me heels. Sex-me heels complete that yoga pants enveloped booty.

3. Yoga pants for the modest

Okay, if you're not really looking forward for complimentary boners, you can just turn down the hotness by wearing it with a short/mini dress like a good girl would do. Wear it with flats and you're ready to meet your boyfriend's parents. Or church. Or anywhere that requires you to dress modestly. If it's little bit too Amish for you, you can give it a little hint of slut by wearing three quarter leggings instead.

Think you can werk it? Then check out ZALORA for bootylicious designs of yoga pant Malaysia at very affordable price.

Because you know you want this.

Photo credits to 9gag.com

Yoga Pant Malaysia 5 Sep 2014 5:54 PM (10 years ago)

Yoga pants.

What started out to be just a utility wear, you know, for yoga, has now become a fashion staple for women.

To delight of most heterosexual men.

Photo credits to 9gag.com

What's the difference between yoga pants and leggings?

Photo credits to 9gag.com

Okay then. Moving on.

And then I did.

I was like, guuurl, you got ass! Yes, I talk to myself sometimes in a sassy black woman's voice.

My insecurities flew away like the fucks given by them yoga pants wearing big gals that instant.

With my new-found enlightenment that yoga pants do not discriminate body types, this post is about how to werk it in 3 ways.

1. Yoga pants, for well, yoga

2. Yoga pants as bottom wear substitute

3. Yoga pants for the modest

Think you can werk it? Then check out ZALORA for bootylicious designs of yoga pant Malaysia at very affordable price.

Because you know you want this.

Photo credits to 9gag.com

My Daily Skin Care Regiment 30 Jul 2014 11:34 PM (10 years ago)

Ok, this is going to sound like a sissy beauty blog, but I just have to tell the world that...

I GRADUATED FROM DR MELINDA TONG'S CLINIC WITH FLYING COLOURS!

Yup, I got the final OK from her.

I'm done with appointments!

For those who are clueless with what the hell I'm talking about, you can read about my journey from being a pimply non-teenager to this gorgeous babe that I am right now: first appointment, second appointment, third appointment, and fourth appointment.

In my last appointment about two weeks ago (yes this is an overdue post), she said my skin has finally learned not to be a stupid teenager and still get pimples. Well, not exactly her words but basically that's what she meant. And I don't have to see her anymore! Unless I do something to fuck my face up.

In this post, I'd like to share with you my skin care regiment, because I know you are dying to know how I am able to stay this effing beautiful, and you'd like a piece of this ~~ass~~ tip.

FYI, I have oily skin, especially at the T-zone. As of now, due to two years' consumption of Acnotin, in which now I am taking only once a month to really regulate them bitches of oil glands, I still have oily skin and I still do need to blot. Once a day during work, and twice if I don't get to wash my face at noon. I still do get breakouts, but only one or two, and fine ones. No more bulbous pus-filled horror shows. And I get breakouts when I disobey the doctor's commandments of letting my makeup sit too long till it melts with the oil on my face, or party or/and don't get enough sleep. So if my face gets wrecked again, it is 100% on my bad habits and no longer on them genes.

So here are the holy grails that I use to keep my face flawless:

1. Cleanser: Cetaphil Oily Skin Cleanser; morning and night

Its formula is light. Sometimes it foams, sometimes it doesn't. I have no idea why. Maybe when my face is too oily, it just won't foam. But whether it foams or not, you'll be left with squeaky clean skin. Squeakier when it foams though.

2. Day serum: NeoStrata Illuminating Serum; after cleansing, morning only

I love, love, love this serum. It's non-sticky and it just glides on your face like a dream. Dark acne scars are visibly gone. Seriously. It's gone! Holy fucking grail.

3. Acne gel: Differin Adapelene 0.1%; on breakouts or any signs of breakouts

This is like my safety net. I'd like to say prevention is better than cure. Sometimes I just put in on acne-prone areas, even when there are no breakouts. It's not that advisable due to the content of adapelene, which can burn your skin if exposed to the sun, but yeah, I'm a little hypochondriac like that.

4. Eye cream: Avene Eluage Eye Contour Care; morning and night

This is for my dark circles and future wrinkles I guess. The doctor saw the difference in my eyes, but I still think I look like a panda from time to time. But oh, some people still guess that my age is 22, which is totally not flattery but purely honesty. So yeah, I think this thing does work.

5. Sunblock: La Roche-Posay Anthelios XL Extreme Fluid 50+; day, on cheeks only

This is a great sunblock for oily skin - it's light but packed punches. And you only need a little.

6. Makeup remover: Avene Lotion Micellaire

You probably need to use more of this makeup remover when you put on heavy makeup, due to its toner like property. But it does feel light and refreshing.

7. Night Serum: Vivierskin Serum 5; night, all over the face after cleansing

Okay this may be an eye serum, but I was advised to use it all over my face. I mean, if it works for the eyes, why not the face, right? I use this every two days though, as the ingredients in the serum are a little bit too strong for me. Vitamin A if I'm not mistaken. This has probably helped me look like I hadn't aged since my early twenties.

8. Moisturiser: Vanicream Lite Lotion; night, cheeks only

This moisturiser doesn't make your skin feel oily and it can last til Jesus returns.

9. Daily face makeup: Loose powder by Clinique

Ok, this is makeup not skincare, but it is part of the stuff I put on my face. I'm advised not to wear makeup, but this brand is the lesser evil, as it is recommended by the doctor. I only use loose powder to work now to make sure my face stays matte. Don't really care much about imperfections now...because I don't have any. Lol, haters gonna hate.

And that is how I can stay flawless and gorgeous, without foundation, camera apps and photoshop.

No foundation, no filter. Look at the baby Husky so you won't hate me that much.

4 Years Old! 18 Jul 2014 11:40 PM (10 years ago)

I turned 4 today!

As a teacher of course.

Time fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies, am I right?

It was only about a year ago when I wrote about how awesome it was to be one.

So, 4 years in now, and what can I say about it?

I feel pretty seasoned.

I learned that the less fuck you give, the better your life will be.

I lose my shit less now as I give less fuck.

Even if I do lose it, I'd know how to get it back and get even with kids.

It goes the same with the annoying people/admin at work.

Be nice and get shitted on. Be a bitch, you won't be taking as much shit as you should.

Maybe after 4 years I have turned into this cynical, hard-ass teacher. But hey, that's the only way to survive this profession.

I still love teaching though. You can't trade that satisfaction you get when your kid excels or passes beyond expectation.

And I wouldn't trade it for any profession in the world.

Except for being a paid traveler, a professional partier or anything that involves playing with puppies.

Bad Essay: Convincing Your Friend To Be The Head Prefect 13 Jun 2014 1:29 AM (10 years ago)

Hey y'all! I'm back with a video of me dissing my own kid due to my failure as an English teacher.

It's always better to laugh at your mistakes than try to cover it up so...

It's been almost 4 years now, yet I haven't found the Holy Grail method of teaching teenagers with the proficiency of a 7 year old.

If you are a TESL Grand Master, please, please show me the light.

In this video, you could see that this kid is just throwing random English words to make an essay. It's almost like a piece of art you are not meant to comprehend.

Enjoy!

Ooh, wait, here's a mini quiz for ya to answer after you're done:

1. How many times did the word 'sinergi' (synergy) and 'ideal' come up?
2. What was the short background sound that appeared?
3. What is my poor kid trying to tell me?

Have fun!

Disclaimer: This video is not meant to shame anyone or any organisation. This is purely for the intention of sharing to the public the reality of our students' English language proficiency, with the hopes that a solution or a method could be shared by experienced teachers on how to avoid this kind of atrocity.

Achievement Unlocked: Finished 10KM In The Borneo International Marathon 2014 13 May 2014 4:57 AM (10 years ago)

I previously said that I was never a sportsperson, and especially not a runner.

Till I joined my first run in 2013, the Sutera Harbour 7K charity run.

Finishing it gave me such a rush.

And then I wanted more.

And what better way than to push oneself for a 10KM marathon? And so I registered for the Borneo International Marathon.

The night before the race, we carbo-loaded at Little Italy. Though it was really unnecessary as 10KM is considered a short distance. We just needed an excuse to eat pasta with our 20% voucher discount. The crowd was by the way, insane. We had to queue up for about 15 minutes. Wethinks the customers were also runners making good use of their complimentary voucher.

It was indeed a hearty meal as when I woke up at 3 a.m. the next day (YES 3 A.M.), I was still full and felt like I needed to take a shit after my banana and Milo breakfast, but we were in a rush to get to Likas Stadium so that didn't happen and I prayed that I won't shit my pants while running 'coz that would be disastrous.

Since parking at the stadium would be a bad idea, we parked at my cousin's house which was about a 15 minutes walk to the stadium. It was 4 a.m., and there were people running already! It was the mighty full marathoners who started running at 3 a.m. And they were already drenched! At that moment I felt sick in the stomach and wondered why the hell did 2-months-ago-cocky-me sign up for this.

And so we reached the stadium at about 4 something, together with most of the half marathoners.

Looking at them made us pumped again. Also after we had a can of Red Bull.

And since we had another hour before call time, we fooled around a bit.

SOMEDAY

By 5.30 a.m., we were already at the starting line. AND JUST LOOK AT THE PEOPLE.

There were about 7000 participants! It's cray!

This was the 10KM route:

Okay it's not that clear but you get the gist.

So did I run non-stop? Nah. I went for a bathroom break at 5KM and was kaput at the Bulatan Nenas. Again, cocky-self tried to run the slightly hilly roundabout, when most runners were walking already. Took my complimentary power gel and it tasted like heaven at that moment.

I continued power walking though, as the power gel gave me side stitch when I ran. I think I walked for about 1KM, and also started running again after a 100Plus boost up, in which I had another 3KM to go.

There was a huge relief when I reached the vicinity of the stadium, but there was an extra 100M to go to cross the finishing line in the stadium. And then I crossed the line.

Like a motherfuckin' champion.

My official time was 1:22:11 hrs and I'm finisher no.387! I'M A MONSTER!

The first thing I did was downed three cups of 100Plus, found an empty seat at the grand stand and took a shameless, well-deserved selfie.

Now I understand why people would travel around the world or risk losing their toenails for something unnecessary like running knowing you will not win (except for those are really in it to win it). It's that feeling of crossing the finishing line. That rush. And it is very much addictive.

Speaking of losing toenails, one of mine is completely zombified now. It's dead now. Or not. Undead perhaps.

Though having a runner's toe now officially makes me a runner. Yeah! *sorry for the disturbing photo*

After napping throughout the day, we had our celebratory feast at Beijing Steamboat Something Something Restaurant.

And a celebratory drink by the pool later.

And we went to bed, had the best rest ever, and woke up the next day feeling like a champion. Even if it's just for a 10KM run.

As for the half and especially the full marathons, you people are gods. SALUTE!

And yes, I'd do it all over again, even if all my toe nails fall off. Maybe. That would fucking hurt.

THE FOURTH WAS WITH ME

You can see who are the gods/goddesses of the marathon here.

My Engagement Photobook by Pixajoy 21 Apr 2014 11:32 PM (11 years ago)

I think photobooking can be quite addictive.

I foresee a future where I'll be hoarding shelves of photobooks right from my baby pictures till my great grandchildren's baby pictures.

My first photobook is done by Photobook Malaysia. You can check out my review (while looking at cute photos of Sookie) here.

As for my engagement photobook, I decided to try using Pixajoy's service.

Here's the outcome:

It arrived boxed, and bubble-wrapped inside.

When I opened it, TA-DA!

But wait, that's not it yet...

That's just its slip case! It follows the design of the book cover. I didn't know it would turn out that way. Pretty cool though.

This is the actual book.

These are the insides:

Yeah, the first few pages are flooded with selfies and random poses.

The back cover:

The verdict? I love it!

I choose the art paper 150gsm with protective matte lamination, so the surface is 'more matte' than the previous photobook, in a sense that it doesn't reflect light at all.

Plus it's cheaper with Pixajoy! Deal price aside (which is basically the same as Photobook Malaysia), the slip case is cheaper - only RM40, with printed surface, compared to the latter, which is double the price for a monotone textured slip case.

All in all, I paid RM130 for an 8.5" X 11" book. My previous 8" X 8" book costed RM152. So yeah, money-wise, Pixajoy wins. Quality wise, looks the same to me.

How to design one with Pixajoy? Here's the funny part. They use the SAME software as Photobook Malaysia. All photobook companies probably bought the same license.

Anyhoo, I absolutely adore both photobooks from Photobook Malaysia and Pixajoy.

So there'll definitely be more to come.

This Blog Owner Is Finally Engaged 10 Apr 2014 8:34 PM (11 years ago)

Sorry stalkers, you had your chance. Ian Somerhalder, if you happen to be one of my stalkers, I'm 'only' engaged. *wink wink*

Thank you for all the wishes and thank you for raping the 'like' button on my posts and statuses regarding this 'big moment'.

In case you're wondering how it went down, here's a recap on it.

If you know me well, you'd know that I'm not one who fancies elaborate decors and colourful cupcakes. So I had none of those shit. I didn't hang a banner nor paste the obligatory "(Man's Name) (Heart) (Woman's Name)" alphabet polystyrene cut outs. There wasn't even a cake. Yes, I'm unconventional like that. Or maybe I really do need to get my ovaries checked.

All I needed for an engagement party were good food and beer. Lots and lots of beer. Beer > cupcakes.

I did my own hair and makeup that day.

I had my former-beautician Mom's wedding portrait looking over to make sure I didn't screw up

With a little help from friends and cousins though.

And then The Soon-To-Be-Fiance-Boyfriend called and said they were on their way and all hell broke loose. I lost it. Tried to undo the calamity that was my mammaries by taking selfies.

Who knew selfies were therapeutic

And then the party arrived.

Bearing gifts! (Well, those were expected as I chose my gifts and packed them myself)

Then they had the introduction and discussion thing going on in the living room downstairs.

Meanwhile, I was trapped in the living room upstairs as I was prohibited to join their discussion. Like, what century is this? So I spent my time doing what I do best - camwhoring...

...and freaking out the whole time.

About 15 minutes later, I was called to join them downstairs, like a maiden being sold to another family after their discussion had ended.

I was told that both families had agreed with the T&C of my dainty hands and was asked whether I agree on what they have agreed upon. Thank God I'm not a law graduate.

And so the Sister started with the blessing of the ceremony, us, and the rings. She even lectured us a bit.

And then came the apex of the ceremony, which was the exchanging of rings.

In which we virgins didn't have a clue on which hand do the rings go.

As soon as it happened, a lightning of camera flashes hit us.

And then we were officially engaged.

The gifts were given.

And memories were taken.

Oh by the way, there was none of those document/agreement signing shit as well. We kept it as a simple and short as possible, so as to not to keep the guests hungry and ahem, thirsty.

By 8 pm, we were already tipsy.

And that is how this blog owner got engaged.

Stay tuned for the birth of Absolutely Wicked's own bridezilla.

Because Books Are Forever: Remembering Sookie 4 Apr 2014 2:26 AM (11 years ago)

It's been a month now since I've lost the first furry love of my life.

I have never stopped thinking about her, and in my quiet moments, I'm still grieving and getting over her. But at times, I do imagine she's just beside me lying on her stomach and wagging her tail whenever I say her name. It's like she had never left.

Since her death had given me so much emotional trauma, I realised that I needed closure. And what better way to give me this sense of 'letting go' is by creating a photobook of her, hence immortalising her on tactile pages.

The process was painful. Going through her old photos pierced my heart but it had to be done. It was an emotional purgatory.

And then it finally arrived.

Of course I knew how it was going to look like, digitally, but to physically hold it! It's like smelling and opening a new book, and you know how crazy bibliophiles are when they get their hand on new books.

Behold the magic of a photobook!

Even though I keep thousands of her photos, there is just something special about photos being bounded in a book.

I highly recommend photobooking photos that you cherish.

Ok, in case you're wondering what's the deal with this photobook, I purchased a RM52 voucher on Groupon for an 8 x 8 square imagewrap hardcover photobook from Photobook Malaysia. The original price is RM208, so yes, only buy a photobook whenever there is an online deal. The cover material is of matte lamination.

As for pages, 170gsm premium silk is used. And as you can see, it has a matte sheen. Using photos of 2MB size and higher, you'd be able to produce one hell of a quality photobook.

HOWEVER. There was one catch when I was about to check out my book.

Since I chose the imagewrap hardcover, it HAD to come with a sleeve. Of course I chose the cheapest sleeve, which was a whopping RM80. The other option was apparently made by fairies as it costs RM200. Just for a fucking sleeve. They provide a variety of colour and texture though.

This is the sleeve:

Designing your own book is easy. You can either use the pre-designed templates or design it online on its website, or if you have shitty Internet connection, you can just download its software so you can do it anytime you like. It's just by dropping and dragging photos, one that doesn't require you a degree in arts and design.

As for deliver charges, mine costed RM20 as hardcover is quite heavy. If you do the maths, it is pretty costly. But for me, it was worth every cent.

I had to tie ribbon as the RM80 sleeve didn't hold the book firmly, wtf.

In this book, the memory of my beloved baby lives on.

How To Tell If You Are A Dick Of A Teacher 28 Mar 2014 1:54 AM (11 years ago)

Last week, our 2013 SPM candidates finally got their results.

Some were excellent, some were average, and some were well, they got what they deserve according to their effort.

But the most interesting part about the SPM results was that it was brewing with controversies.

Almost all papers were leaked prior the exam. The education department is secretive on what grades make an A and so forth. And the best part is, it seems that most students got an A in Science, even when they failed English and Maths. What ~~sorcery is this?~~ miracle!

So which part of these controversies would I like to bitch about?

None of it. Just about the dick teachers who took advantage of all these. And how to spot one, or if you want to know if you are one.

These are the 5 ways:

1. You are a dick of a teacher if you are part of this 'miracle A's'.

2. You are a dick of a teacher if you prepare the answer sheet for your students to memorise prior the exam if you managed to get leak questions.

3. You are a dick of a teacher when you teach them to cheat instead of using their effort.

4. You are a dick of a teacher if you do this for the sake of maintaining a good reputation and making the school look good. And you are fucking proud of it!

5. And you are the biggest dick of them all when:

a) Your students' results are questioned, costing them a place in a good higher learning institution, or getting a stable job.

b) Your students somehow managed to get into a good university but they flunk out halfway as they are in reality poorly qualified.

c) Your students somehow become teachers and they destroy 30 more generations,whether through their incompetence, or teaching their students the joy of cheating just like how you did.

d) The next generations are no better than potatoes.

I am not a perfect teacher nor do I follow rules too easily. I punch in a few minutes late most of the time. I go to town for breakfast when I don't have classes. I switch to Bahasa Melayu when teaching English when students look at me blankly. I can never for my life memorise the Kami Guru Malaysia anthem. I don't dress like a 'role model' when in town. I go drinking in pubs where a couple of times I would bump into my students. I swear a lot. Hell, I'm so fucking flawed and there is still so much I need to learn and continue learning to be a better teacher.

But I am not a dick of a teacher as my integrity as a teacher is intact and will forever be. Please punch me in the face if someday I too will get corrupted and be one.

In all honesty, I too got the leaked questions but dismissed it as merely spot questions. I didn't go writing perfect essays and photocopying them to be distributed to my kids. Did I regret not doing so? Nope. Out of 22 students who got an A in English in my school, 12 of them were mine and in my weak class where everyone would normally fail, all of them passed except for one. So no. I have no regrets of not "helping" them because I want them to be proud of their own effort and that's exactly what they felt.

So, in case there's a dick of a teacher reading this, I hope this post burns you thoroughly and hopefully you will learn to be a better teacher. If you happen to know any dick of a teachers, don't be afraid to report them. Einstein (or was it him) did say that the biggest evil in the world is knowing it happens but not doing anything about it.

If you think you will someday turn into one, please assign someone to punch you in the face as well.

Save our kids. Don't let them become potatoes.

It Was Puppy Love At First Sight 26 Feb 2014 11:19 PM (11 years ago)

It was love at first sight when I first saw her.

I continued searching for other pups cuter than her, but alas she already caught hold of my heart.

This little furball, with endless love to give to her new caretaker.

And so I returned to her and gave her a new home.

Our lives was never the same again.

It was she who taught us that dogs aren't just 'animals'.

It was she who taught us what unconditional love is.

It was she who taught us to be better humans.

She had brought so much joy (and headache) into our lives.

And then God called. He wants her back.

She got attacked by the neighbour's dogs again, but this time, she fell from the dangerously steep hill and into a puddle of mud. When she reached the vet, she was gasping for air. She wasn't that seriously wounded. But mud had got into her lungs. The vet did everything they could. Until her last breath.

I cried like I never did before. At the hill where she fell when I thought she was dead. At the vet's. At the vet's toilet. In the car. In my room. At her burial gound. Now as I'm writing this.

I lost so many dogs, yet this one hits hard the most. Right to the core. Because she was my first puppy love.

She didn't just leave a hole in my heart, she just about ripped off the whole thing and took it with her.

Like how my failed attempts of playing fetch with her and she'd never return the stick.

Damn it Sookie, that is not how you play fetch. I should've taught you well.

And now you're gone. Our lives will change again. But this time, you're not in it. I am yet to digest this. Still feels like a horrible dream.

No more daily kisses and hugs. No more scolding you for stealing the other dogs' food.

Just, no more you.

But I have one consolation. They call it the Rainbow Bridge.

I'll see you again, Sookie. Until then, you will be forever missed.

Rest in peace, baby.

Last Valentine's Day 14 Feb 2014 4:05 AM (11 years ago)

As usual, on this day where everyone in the world makes a big deal out of it, I'd just be like:

Even Yahoomail helped me write a letter to myself (oh how thoughtful):

But then at night, I received this:

Yeah I just stabbed my cake just to go with the note "YOU ARE NOT ALONE ALONE".

I'd shit my pants if I got this from a nameless stranger.

But of course, it was from my default, forever Valentine (I double checked). And hopefully, this would be our last Valentine spent alone (far away) together.

Happy Valentine's day peeps. May you financially and emotionally survive the day.

Happy Chinese New Year 2014! 31 Jan 2014 4:55 AM (11 years ago)

If you're celebrating it, then you get a do over the resolutioms that you did earlier this month that you failed to keep.

As for mine, I guess you could say that I am following my resolution of not having plans and goals, and what do you know, unplanned plans have started cropping up and wow, this might be the last angpau from my parents in my entire life.

I am keeping this motherfucker.

Gong xi fa cai people. May the horses actually bring you fortune this year.

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Because Books Are Forever: Remembering Sookie 4 Apr 2014 2:26 AM (11 years ago)

How To Tell If You Are A Dick Of A Teacher 28 Mar 2014 1:54 AM (11 years ago)

It Was Puppy Love At First Sight 26 Feb 2014 11:19 PM (11 years ago)

Last Valentine's Day 14 Feb 2014 4:05 AM (11 years ago)

Happy Chinese New Year 2014! 31 Jan 2014 4:55 AM (11 years ago)