Why are so many people... 5 May 2015 5:57 AM (9 years ago)

scared of the dentist? I ask myself this question every-time I have to go. I literally have panic attacks just thinking about my appointment that is coming up. I break out in a sweat, can't sleep, all I think about until I get into the dreaded office is what the hell they are going to find this time and what the hell kind of hell will I be put through.  Every.single.effin.time I go to the dentist they find something. Be a new cavity, a root canal that was not settled properly and or some other shit I can never just go to the dentist get a cleaning and be on my way. I have been terrified of the dentist since I was a kid - maybe it was because one time in when we were Italy {not a place known for stellar oral care} I was slapped in the face by one because I had no idea what the fuck was going and and what he was doing - so yes ma'am I was a bit over the top scared - but for fuck I was a 7 and he put his hands on me. In those "days" I guess that is how shit was done in the old country - if that shit happened to day it would be filmed, placed on YouTube and his ass would be in court. SO from that point forward the seed was planted and too me the dentist was the EVIL one. Every single dentist appt for me was hell - this was the time before Yelp and people placing reviews so you knew what you were getting. It was a toss up who the hell you ended up with. I went in for cavity refills that would take 4 hours because dental centers would stack their appts. and you would end up with one dentist doing about 6 clients back and forth. I had dentist drill into my exposed nerve because they did not give me enough Novocaine. I have had dentist fill my tooth were the root was still not killed and let me tell you you do not know what pain is until you have experienced that. Let's just say most of the dentist I have been to have SUCKED balls. Awful just awful some of these offices look like they have not been touched since the late 50's and it scares me to step into the chair.

All I see is this when I am at the dentist

I also have a mouth for whatever reason that gets cavities very easily even when I brush and kind of floss. I need to get better at the flossing thing and going to the dentist every 6 months but when you have anxiety just thinking about going in it makes it crazier to go.  I had found a great dentist 2 1/2 years ago -  I moved and he retired so now I have to work myself into a frenzy with a new one and need to get that trust level before I feel "safe" again. Being in that chair with those little pointy sharp things coming at me makes me feel out of control and vulnerable.  The thing I am trying to do is suck it up for the sake of my daughter. I do not want her to have the same fear that I experienced. Even when I go to GG's dental appt. I break out in a sweat. But let me tell you if I had the kind of dental office my daughter had I would not have this fear today. I make sure I drill {ha ha} into her that she needs to take care of her oral care so she does not end up with a bunch of crap her mom has had to go through.

So today is going to be a doozy for me - I just want to get in that chair and get it done and over it. Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a long ass day.....

No quick fix.... 16 Apr 2015 6:26 AM (9 years ago)

Why do some members our society want things to happen so quickly?  I get it we live in a 24/7 kind of society only made worse with the damn all mighty smart phones, I pads and social media where news is recycled at lightning speed.  We must have everything NOW...we must HAVE it now...Now Now Now Now NOW. Fuck when as a society did we become so fucken impatient?  

Yep,  I am ranting today{so what else is new} about the quick fix "diet" industry  - between shakes, teas and pills we think we can get instant results and our quick fix and the results if any will magically last forever.  If I see the Marie Osmond diet plan commercial one more time I will scream....AHHHHH I swear it just came on as I was posting this!  In order to trim up and get healthy you need to MOVE YOUR ASS {this does not include what you do for a work} and cut down on your calories. From sweets, to effin crodonuts to pizza with everything on it except what the eff is supposed to be on it and YES unfortunately alcohol.   I do love my wine but I have cut dramatically in the last few years. YES I do have my weekends where I need a break and I go balls out but those days are few and FAR between - but you know what sometimes mommy needs to let loose.  I cut down because of the calories - I cut down for my health. I also went from drinking white/rose to red in order to cut the sugar once again for my health- I am a 45 year old mom to 5 year old and I need to be on my game. I had to overhaul  my total lifestyle in order to make it stick. I lost about 20 pounds in the last few months I have about 15 more to go BUT I promised myself  that this time I would take this journey slow and steady. On this "I am doing it my way plan" I will not deprive myself and I will NOT get on the scale every week   - every other or monthly to keep track. I believe scales are Satan Spawn of Hell and should be destroyed however in order to keep track I must play with the scale not worship the scale. 

NO tea, no shake, no diet pill and no overnight magic diet plan will keep the weight off  for good unless you balls to the walls and put in some HARD work.  Do you think I like getting up and getting tortured twice a week with a trainer who makes my body feel like jello after my time with her. And getting up the other 3 am's  and going to work out whatever cardio I decide to do that day.  Do you think that I like zucchini noodles more then fresh awesome deliriously delicious tagliatelle   - drool . NO I EFFIN DON"T but I do it because I know that is the way to get it done.  The days that I "crack" bake because I have the urge to bake all day I have my husband take all the goodies to work because I do not want them sitting in the house.  Their are days after work outs where I am iced from my neck down to my calves it hurts and it sucks but you know what I am MOVING MY ASS daily if I can. I bought a bike and instead of driving everywhere I am now biking to locations that are near enough for me to bike in - thank goodness I live in a very bike friendly community and I do this with  my daughter in order to give her a base on how to take care of her health. And that moving is GOOD. 

I do it because it makes me stronger, quicker, healthier and keeps my head in a clear happy place. I will never be super skinny again - my body frame does not allow that and I am not willing to starve myself like I did years past in order to fit in a size that society says I must be in.  To this day I still suffer problems with my stomach for the damage I did years ago. I also want to teach my daughter a healthy lifestyle not a dangerous lifestyle. 

 A shake{tea pill whatever}  is not going to make you lose inches magically in two weeks if this was the case we would not have the issues with weight we have in this country. You might lose some weight with whatever magic bean you decide to try but so sad to break it to you most of that time it is water weight and you can believe your ass you will gain in all back and then some in less than two months. WHY do I say this because I know. I have gone through all of them from the cabbage soup diet, pills and eventually not eating and surviving on coffee and many packs of cigarettes during that horrible part of my life. I lost a massive amount of weight in a short amount of time for my body frame.   I was a size that I think I have never been and I looked gaunt and older than my years. I did not realize at that time that I had a minor eating issue.  I developed a massive phobia about food and about every calorie that I put in my mouth.   I was a human calculator of food. I did not workout during this time all I did was not eat much - carrots were my new BFF.   It was hard to break the habit but I did it and I did it on my own. It was hard but I eventually got better. Even though to this day I still feel guilty when I over indulge and I bust my own balls about what an asshole of food I was on a particular weekend. If I could shake people and tell them instead of paying out your butt for 310 Shake take that money and put it towards a trainer or a gym membership.  Do yourself a favor and get off the quick fix roller coaster it helps your body and mind in the long run. 

Peace 

Kindergarten Wars.... 19 Mar 2015 5:53 AM (9 years ago)

Remember the days when your mom brought you to your first kindergarten class you would just show up and they would admit me you?....Yah well those days are over especially in the area of the Bay that I live in.

 I thought PreK was a fight but it was nothing to the war of getting into kindergarten. I started this fight in early September 2015 checking out he local public schools after seeing, researching and investigating decided that the private route was to be the road for my little one. This is OUR preference not for everyone however a good portion of our local public schools are just not cutting it sorry. I don not know how it works in other parts of the country but I know that here in the lovely ass, expensive,  over crowded as hell part of my Bay Area this is our best option. Some of these public schools are so overcrowded 40 kids per class one aid and one teacher how is that possible. I am not even going to go into it because I do not know that much about the public school system but what I have seen personally we did not like.

So off we started looking at private schools and fortunately we found three that we really liked. With the 3 in our pockets I started booking tour dates as early as November 2015 for admissions in 2016. Yep almost a year just to book tours and get into the "system" and to view campus and see what it is all about. Now I am very familiar with the private/catholic school route I myself attended 12 years and besides a few minor things I really enjoyed my time there. I still have friends from grammar school as well as friends I communicate daily and still are friends with from high school. I also like that for 9 years you do not have to worry about looking for another school {because after the kindergarten process you need about a 9 year break}. I am not a fan of the K-5 then middle, then HS. I believe {no I know for a fact} that {some} little girls become evil little monsters during that 5th grade middle school transition - blame the hormones, Between the tours, the interviews and the assessment/interview of our little one it has been one crazy ass ride. I feel like we are interviewing for college. Some of the schools are super competitive and you sometimes get many admissions for very few spots.  It is almost like some kind of sport. Now I do not know what it was like a few years ago in the area but I know now that it has gotten pretty bad...we are overcrowded and our lovely area is in a building frenzy, their are not enough schools to support the boom of the modern day Gold Rush we are experiencing here in the bay Area. That is what happens when the whole damn world wants to live here. Of course we have a few quakes here and there - and we are on a 4 year emergency drought but that is not stopping herds of people moving into this area. 

We have gone through some stress - Tours, interviews for your little one and yourself, assessments to make sure your child is ready emotionally and mentally for the next step and for the school. It has been quite a joy ride without too much of the joy. This kind of stuff can really play hell with your schedule as well as take a toll on you emotionally. We now have completed all that we needed to do and are sitting waiting patiently for the results. It almost feels like your waiting to get picked for the dodge ball team and hopefully you will not be the last person picked. Wish us luck!!!!

****Note as of the end of last week we heard back from all three schools and my little one was accepted to all. It will be time to make that decision. So thrilled and think about it 9 years UNIFORMS no BS what the hell am I going to wear every morning with this already fashion obsesses little one. 

Cleaning Up..... 10 Mar 2015 5:45 AM (10 years ago)

As you can see their is a new spiffy layout for my blog.  Needed to clean it up and bring into the year 2015...... a little late I might add...Same fun ass post and allot more often since I am making the time to post. My little one is no longer a toddler and my ass is no longer a new mom. I have been recruited into the no she did in moms. Life has gotten a bit more hectic and just keeping up with my little ones activities, school and social schedule has been at sometimes overwhelming. Girl has tons of friends and it is hard to believe that she ins only 5. I have now become the chauffeur and the social calender keeper. Oh well. A few updates on what the hell has been going on around here.

Move... 3 Mar 2015 6:30 AM (10 years ago)

bitches and I use bitches in the most loving of terms as I would girlfriend...this is how we do it in Cali...As you know I have been going through some major hormonal changes can we say American Werewolf in London changes. Now their is no shame in my game and I have been so open about what I am gong through something that I think more women need to do - we are made to feel ashamed of this natural part of life.  I am going through this with a naturopathic doctor below is a description of what they do. Basically I go to a regular OBGYN to get my huu ha and a script for a mammogram. The rest I trust an ND. I have nothing against Western medicine however when it comes to hormones and the shift of a woman we need to learn in this country that what a MD says is not the all that ends all. I have been through 6 GP's and OBGYN in the last few years they all have SUCKED and I mean SUCKED. Most of the time they do not listen to you, they do not even dive into your health history before scripting you whatever they want to script you in order to take care of it based on what has worked with woman A, B, or C. They they wonder WHY the so many people are addicted to meds. They med for anything. I went to the GYNO the other day in order to interview to see if I would like this one. Once again she generalized me and suggested that I should go on Prozac for the PMS/Pre symptoms I was showing 10-12 days before I started my period. - Is this ALL doctors have become - legal drug pushers for the drug companies....Mmmmm sure does sound like it doesn't it.  I refused. I would rather sweat it out the natural way that become addicted to a chemical that would ricochet my body back to hell after the 12 days. Are you fuckin kidding me....I know women who are on this shit that continue to take it in order not to go through the withdrawals which I gather suck donkey balls.

 Naturopathic physicians combine the wisdom of nature with the rigors of modern science. Steeped in traditional healing methods, principles and practices, naturopathic medicine focuses on holistic, proactive prevention and comprehensive diagnosis and treatment. By using protocols that minimize the risk of harm, naturopathic physicians help facilitate the body’s inherent ability to restore and maintain optimal health. It is the naturopathic physician’s role to identify and remove barriers to good health by helping to create a healing internal and external environment.
Naturopathic physicians work in private practices, hospitals, clinics and community health centers. NDs practice throughout the United States and Canada. Qualified naturopathic physicians undergo rigorous training before they become licensed health-care practitioners.

Research and get yourself some knowledge..... 27 Feb 2015 7:40 AM (10 years ago)

on this hell on earth called per meno. I know that this is probably what you do not want to read about but when I started this blog I wanted to make sure that I always remained truthful and told you exactly what the eff what going on. I would never be one of those blog with bells and whistles and post about pintrest boards and lies. To this day I have remained authentic me. And authentic me right now is going through a period of emotions that are beyond my control. I am going to post about what I am going through right now in my life. If you do not want  to read it then move on and stop following me. I am however going to vomit as much information on what is helping me during this period of "change" in my life. If it helps out another woman out there I will feel great...Your are not going insane this ride of emotions and uncomfortable feelings is NORMAL. YEP EFFIN normal. It is funny because when your going through the power surge of emotional vomit you are convinced you are going insane. I say this now ladies who are experiencing just a bit of change on your cycle start reading up on this shit because when it happens it will happen out of left field and if you do not know what is going on your convinced that something terribly wrong is going on with your body.


It is shocking to me how many women have no idea that this shit can hit out of the blue and changes your way of life overnight.  I keep getting asked how old I am and I am like 45 your to young nope I am not this peri stage starts anywhere from 7-10 years before the dry up cycle. I feel like peri is like really bad foreplay and the menopause is the big bang.Not all women will go through the same thing. I always had really bad ass PMS and I have always been very in tune with my body so I noticed that things were beginning to shift about 3 1/2 years ago. My PMS was getting worse and their were days were I was an emotional mess. I could always deal with the physical part of periods but the emotional part just triggered hell on my life. How the fuck are you in the middle of a grocery store and start crying for now apparent reason. This would frustrate me to no end and when I get frustrated it would trigger my anxiety which I have had for the last 6 years and with proper eating habits, sleep, exercise and an amazing acupuncturist  I have learned to tame it however with this new band of emotions the gremlin is resurfacing not everyday but enough that I do not like it visiting my hood again.  I have worked very hard  to tame the beast and it sucks that because of no choice of my own I get to relive the nightmare. I feel that peri is this dark ass secret that no woman wants to talk about and does not want to accept that is happening. Well let me tell ya sista it will.  And my big ass mouth has had not problem sharing the pain and the solutions with me fellow women folk.


The part that is most frustrating is that I can't just crawl into bed when I am tired or feeling overly emotional or bloated as hell - I need to put my game face on I have a 5 year old that needs me and it not fair that she has to go trough this crap with me. I am trying my best to keep my shit together and making this transition as easy as possible. In the mean time hugs and kisses and keep it real.

The shit they did not.... 12 Feb 2015 6:43 AM (10 years ago)

see that caption that reads 30-50 well I have had the joy of starting this BULLSHIT at 45

teach you in school.......I have always been really upfront with my blog and honest so today is going to be a doozy of a bitchfest since I have been experiencing "issues" and would love to get it off  my chest. Because I know that life is not fair but this crap is beyond not fair. We all get old and with that comes the set of old problems bones ache, bit foggy and bit more farty blah..blah...blah....bet when your a woman you get an extra dose of special toppings on this pizza we call life.

I knew that this was bound to happen and ANYONE who is a woman who states that they will never and allow themselves to go through this is also full of BULLshit! Because baby no matter what you do, what you eat, how much you damn exercise and how you process your thoughts little bits of hormonal changes are going to affect your life when you are a woman that becomes a certain age that is just scientific fact. I have been reading, researching this crap for 2 years as far as buying the Suzanne Summers book on this subject...yes yes I did because you know what she fought cancer and beat peri/meno, looks amazing and she has done this all organically and holistically.

It should read I am to young for this SHIT

In this country we have a real issues with fixing problems with a band aid and medication without going internally to see what the cause of all this could be. I have decided to ride this effin emotionally and annoying pony the non med way and even though it has worked sometimes their is a month here and there were you get hit with a brick and you can't get back on the damn horse no matter how hard you try. Why is it that they do not explain this shit more when your in HS is it because they do not want to scare the living shit out of you and the changes that will happen to your body when you reach a certain age it is like I am going through fucken puberty again but in reverse and this is just PERImenopause  Now let me tell you

I eat right,
I try and exercise and get out daily,
I fucken do acupuncture on certain months weekly
I take liquid herbs daily you would not believe the list of shit I digest daily - I feel like Samantha Jones from SITC2 sitting at a desk rubbing creams all over my body
I started Mindful Meditation daily to keep the damn stress at bay because the anxiety is coming out of nowhere especially during my monthly
I cut drinking to a minimum I am talking barely
Got rid of caffeine
Keep busy SO CAN SOMEONE tell me why the fuck I feel like punching people in the face daily and feel like I am in a fog of just exhaustion. And please don't say depression because that is not it I get up I am happy I am just fucken frustrated that we need to go through this shit. Is it not enough that we bleed from the time we are 11/13 until mid 40's then we have to deal with this extra baggage!

I have always had a bit of anxiety is is part of the Italiana DNA - their is not one friend of mine who comes from this background that does not seem to be suffering from some kind of worry/anxiety it just seems to have escalated in the past few years. I have noticed that in the last month my sleep patterns have been affected and when those are affected my whole body and mind is off triggering my anxiety. I have no idea how people with insomnia go through daily life my husbands sleeps like 5 hours a night and he runs a company how the fuck does he do that and deal with my headcase of hormones that has been affecting me for the last 3 weeks??????? and damn can we say tired as fuck I am usually the energizer bunny and walking up the stairs is kicking my ass.


And you know what makes this suck the most is that I have this beautiful 5 year old who has to deal with mommy being tired sometimes and mommy being super cranky - a husband who has been my rock during these past few weeks. I am going through this slowly day by day. I know that i will get back on the horse in the mean time it is fun to bitch about it and I have found many other women out there who are going through the same thing so it has helped a bit.

OK can we now talk about the effin hot flashes????? TBC.....

Mommy Exhaustion....... 29 Jan 2015 5:44 AM (10 years ago)

is for real folks and I am here to tell you that it is not funny and not some made up BS SAHM decided to come up with because they have all these effin time on their hands. Nope this goes for the SAHM and the work mommies and this little bit of ME is fo reals. I have been absent from my blog for a bit and I have learned time and time again that when this happens I am not a better person for it. I have been gone not because I was on some special project or vacation but I have been busy raising a child. A child that I adore more than life itself, and child I was blessed with and a child that makes me happy everyday. I have an amazing husband who is the world to me and supports me in everything I have ever wanted to do. A family close by to help me and I have made some amaZing new friends. I love the area where I am no living, my husbands works is crazy great. Life is good. I am more exhausted now then when the little one was a baby.... I am happy but f*cken tired...yo.....WTF is going on????

My body/mind has been kicked in the ass the last week and I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I cannot see straight. I mean Night of the Living Dead exhausted y'all. Like I am getting 7 hours of sleep but waking up exhausted. So much that all I want to do is go right back into bed and go back to sleep. That is not me never has been so of course your worrying machine goes up and with my type A everything needs to be just so personality my anxiety has been at an all time high which has resulted in a couple of pretty good zingers of anxiety attacks which I have not had in forever. With the help of holistic medicine I had pretty much made it dormant.  I have lived with anxiety for over 6 years not I know what it is I know that when anxiety reels its ugly ass self when I do not take care of me.



Now I have lived with this Italian worry shit all my life however with the help of exercise, acupuncture, herbs and essential oils{sound like a hippy right..totally not}I have succeeded in kicking this BS in the ass however in the past few months I have not been taking care of me like I usually have and I believe this has spiraled me going down this path.  The last few months from October to the present I have been on the super go, never stop, I have no help, do everything myself kind of gal, Yes I do have my husbands help I however during the week it is all me until he gets home to help out.
I have been interviewing, touring and filling out applications which are on college level in order to get into kindergarten here in the city where I reside in CA. Spent the last two month planning a 5 year old bday party and just over scheduling my dumb ass self. Volunteering, redoing, organizing, dog taking care of and  appts, doctor appts, trying to start getting myself scheduled for classes and overall a pleather of bday parties, events and the everyday shit that life hands you.......I have been trying to be Super Mom.  Life has not stopped and I have not been able to take a break. I have not had time to chill out and take in life. I have done what many people have been doing lately is over scheduling LIFE. And I am now paying for it.

Of course being worried about my so tired ass stirs up all types of things over worrying brain of mine which triggered my anxiety. WHich one of my friends labeled the Evil Gremlin for she to has gone through the same thing.   When I was speaking to another mom she suggested I look up Mommy Exhaustion/Mother Burn Out on the Internet. I thought this shit has got to be made up and thinking that nothing much was going to come up...To my surprise a shitload came up....When I checked out the 'symptoms" I was like HOLY shit that is exactly what I am feeling like down to the total ass exhaustion and irritability.

Now that I know WTF is wrong with me...I can work on getting myself back to my old self. One thing I am going to have to do is make sure that I am my number one priority - might sound selfish but if I am not OK I cannot be OK for my family. For me to be OK it is called working out. I usually work out 4-5 times a week in the last 3 weeks I have probably worked out twice because of the massive shit I have had going on in my and husbands schedule. It has been insane and that is my fault for over doing me. I cannot feel guilty if I decide that no dammit I will not be able to go to GG's jujitsu for one night or I decide to skip one week of dance class because I am just that exhausted. I have to learn to be ok to leave the house without making the bed one day before I do the 800 other things I do throughout the day. Now I get it I am a SAHM  and I do not have an outside the home work but you know what what I do is a job a 24/7 job without breaks. I have been trying to take classes for the last 5 years for me and a future part time business this year it is going to happen as soon as my little one will be in school full time. Maybe this sounds like a bunch of waaa waaaa waaaa but you know what if I can't waaaa on my damn blog where the F am I going to. As a mom you always have to be "on". We can never admit when we feel defeated and just not into all the political BS that comes with being a mom.

My name is Mommy Bags and I am one effin tired mother......

What used to happen then.... 7 Dec 2014 5:40 AM (10 years ago)

and what happens now.  As you know I like to bitch about how old I am getting and how things have changed and it is so apparent during he holiday season dinner parties and many many Persecco cheers that my ass is getting old. Hangovers at 40 and hangovers at 30 totally different thing. The kicker here is I now hydrate with water after each drink and still in pain a week later.

What a Friday starts out like after the shit load of stress that Halloween from this dreaded Xmas brings you...The f8cken Xmas music alone could drive you to daily alcohol intake

Drinking and partying in your 30's



Hangover in your 30's Jack in the Crack drive thru  and about 100 tacos with a back shot of aspirin and you are good to go onto the next fiesta


Drinking and partying in your 40's - you still think you can party like you did in your 30's so you try and keep up figuring out that the next morning is not going to be that bad....Right?!?

Ah yah..you wish your ass looked that good the next morning or when vomiting on your shoes from the night before....

YOU NEED food must have food cannot drive must be delivered and they need to do it quick - nothing else works but carbs, carbs and more carbs



Happy weekend...............................

Suck it up..... 4 Nov 2014 6:59 AM (10 years ago)

Yes we are coming here to rant again but hey isn't this what this blog is all about? As some of you are aware I am a Halloween maniac I love it, it's fun, I love all parts from the decorating, the colors and the passing out of the candy. What I do not like is what is happening to this holiday. With anything that is visually and usually fun their are always people who want to shit on it...Now before you get your witches tutus in a bunch I don't mean the entire population but their is always a select few who just have time to make everything so effin impossible and boring that you want to smack yourself in the face. I am talking about people who want others to decorate their houses not scary in order for their kids not to be scared....WHat are you serious last time I checked a homeowners owns their house and if they decided they want zombies and body parts that is their front lawn that is their own damn business and for you to actually have the nerve to go up to neighbors and say to them please don't decorate this way because little Mr. Pricky is scared is a bunch of BULLshit. If your child is scared of the evil looking decorated houses then skip it and go to the unicorn farts and fairy rainbows house down the street. I am sure they can fill your need with the smiling pumpkins and happy ghosts.

It is all around me kids(some)  who have become scared of their own shadows, kids that cry at the drop of a hat over NOTHINing. Kids that have zero common sense and kids that are so coddled that they become useless adults. Now I know that I am pretty hardcore as a parent but you know what I am doing something right with the little person that I am raising. Please, thank you, may I and includes all other in her play world. I am the first one to admit when my little one is an asshole, so no I am not one of those parents that claims their child is perfect because you know what none of them are.


My daughter walks by our Halloween decorations like it is no big deal because you know why people I sat down and explained to her that this shit is FAKE not real made out of plastic - the same plastic that their dear old Elsa dolls and Barbies are made out of. Just because the outside is a little creepier and less pretty does not make it scary.  We should be worried about some of the living walking people that are on our planet instead of a bunch of plastic people you buy from the Halloween Superstore.

Between the no sugar no scary Halloween I am beginning to think that this holiday will be obsolete in a few years just like thanksgiving is being mutilated little by little every year with stores opening on Thanksgiving Day. All I can say is f8ckin  RELAX people it is only a bit of candy and scary things your child will be fine.

Note: My house was the SHit this Halloween got a crap load of kids in a hood where I was told was not a huge Halloween corridor. We kicked ass and took names and next year I am go automatic with the zombies. BTW all the little "scared" kids I heard about loved it!!!!!

F*cken A it's time for ...Halloween Bitches**** 16 Oct 2014 5:24 AM (10 years ago)

Yep this is the time of year where I go nuts and I feel the most joyous...I love me so Halloween shit yo..This past weekend we decorated away..since I live on the block of the not so young {great people} but damn are some of them cranky and BOring. We have become the loudest house on the block with the many BBq's and outdoor events I have this pass few months. I have rented a jumpy house so many times that I am getting discount from the local dude that does the whole hood.  Not to sound mean but some of these folks have lived in the "hood" for about 50 plus years and are hitting their late 90's it called great CA living and some of these peeps look to be about in their 70's, HOWever some have totally lost the holiday spirit so I decided I would kick some holiday spirit on their asses. Hopefully with the neighborhood going through a massive transition of the not so young bolting for FL and unfortunately kicking the bucket and new families and techies invading the neighborhood I am hoping next year will be a bit more festive.  The whole family decorated this weekend in 85 degree weather. We did a great job and it has become a family fun day.  We still have a few pieces we need to lay out and some lightning to work on but overall it is done......So far our home has become an attraction and the other day when I cam out of the house to head to my work out  I caught a priest just watching our home from his vehicle probably wondering what soul could ever posses to so something like this. I do not think it is that bad but I am used to it...and my awesome ball busting Brazilian jiu juitsu training daughter doesn't even flinch......OH and a post will follow on scardy cat kids and why some people will not decorate houses as scary as they would like.......you will love this bullshit story to come

Does this shock anyone.... 26 Sep 2014 10:21 AM (10 years ago)

Mmmmm not really. IN days where little girls are turned into adults at the snap of the finger and we live in the land of everything is sexy it does not shock me at all..I am actually quite surprised that Disney the brand Nazis have let this happened even though they are "loosley" based on the characters anybody who has seen that effin movie knows what is going on here. {I have a toddler - I have seen the movie too many times and that damn song is no longer allowed in our home} I can no longer stomach the color light blue and if I see Elsa's smug little face again I will vomit all over this computer screen. But what is going on below is NOT ok...Let the damn kids be kids and keep something sacred you tacky ass lingerie company. I mean really get a grip on yourselves.  Assholes....

Nomands what a crock of..... 15 Aug 2014 8:10 AM (10 years ago)

BULLSHIT! Yes in my opinion bullshit. I have openly admitted that I am a reality show whore. I make no apologies for it.  I love great dramas, crime ect...but their are days when you want to turn off the brain and watch stupid shit on the brain cell remover, and last night is exactly what I did. I watches the train wreck which is Extreme Guide to Parenting on the always thumbs up programming on Bravo TV. Knowing that some people should NOT be allowed to breed this show proves it. I have not checked out the first episode but after this second one I need to check out what other joy of a parent will be featured. Now I have no issues with the Nomand lifestyle if your ass is SINGLE and or coupled off and both parties agree to do this "wandering" thing. Well to me it is a whole different effin story when your totting two kids around with you. I come from the old school mentality that when  you have kids it is NOT all about you anymore but those kids. Maybe I am wrong and maybe it will not work out for me in the end but Gdammit I was given this child to raise and I am going to do whatever I need to do in order to make that child into a productive, self sufficient effin adult.  I watched this show and I see that mom's head is in the clouds and dad just strikes me as one tick bite away from starting is own tree hugging hippy commune. A brief description of the episode.

Three years ago, Wendy and Tyler got rid of everything they owned and became nomads living out of their SUV. Now that their kids are older, life on the road has lost its charm. While Wendy and the kids long for a place to call home, Tyler fears any change could lead straight back his greatest fear. . .a "normal life."

NOT NORMAL life god help us with the "normal" life. Go my little red headed beard man stick it to the man...whatever asshole.....BTW the vehicle is not even close to being a SUV it looks like some cramped up Volvo.   Kids do not have any privacy which becomes a problem the older you get...These kids will be tweens soon..... do you really want to be sharing a tent with your mom and dad. Can you imagine little johnny first woody trying to take care of business with mom/dad/sis near by. How about the first PMS breakdown of your soon to be teen age daughter...Hello she has no door to slam what is she to do!!!!  I feel bad for these kids...because they look like great kids but you just feel bad for them.  They seem tired of the traveling and all they want is their own little area so they can decorate - and a dog and friends and fresh food and privacy and a bed and not a tent and a not public restroom and legos and the list goes on and on.....I heard a lot of I....I....I....I....I from the dad and last time I checked when you have a child/children it becomes more about we and sometimes a whole lot of them. Yes they have traveled the world and yes you get to enjoy extreme closeness to your  family but at what cost?

Dad comes off selfish and quite frankly a prick..... I just want to reach into the TV and punch him in his face. He lives in a fucking fantasy land of rainbow and unicorns- mom just goes with what daddy says and to me it is one big cluster fuck...  The kids get home schooled {barely} so let's see what the future holds for these little kiddos.  At one point the assholes  parents bring their kids into a toy store and basically tell them that they cannot get a toy unless they get rid of one. Now I see doing a purge every year and donating toys to shelters but these kids are on minim amount of shit already cuz their parents decided to fuck the establishment  for the wandering lifestyle...Hey douches this is a choice your asses made not a choice your kids made. Why the fuck would you dangle the carrot then take it back??? Hopefully the kids will get a chance to break free -soon.Towards the end the 'father" finally agrees to at least get an RV so the family has a bit of elbow room. It still goes to show me that the parents are a couple of assholes.   This is definitely a how to show on how NOT to raise your kids. People what ever happened to balance?


nomad (Greek: νομάς, nomas, plural νομάδες, nomades; meaning one roaming about for pasture, pastoral tribe), is a member of a community of people who live from one place to another. Among the various ways Nomads relate to their environment, one can distinguish the hunter-gatherer, the pastoral nomad owning livestock, or the "modern" peripatetic nomad.

Why big boobs..... 2 Jul 2014 5:25 AM (10 years ago)

suck! For many years I wanted big boobs - not big ass gross porno size boobs but nice fuller C's.  I always admired from afar but I know I would never go in to get plastic surgery done. Plastic surgery is to each their own.  If you feel that going under the knife is going to make you feel better about yourself more power to you.  I however would not pay 20,000 to go under the knife and get something foreign shoved in my body and have to re do them in another 15 years so they won't explode in my chest.    I am not by any means a hippie skippy far from it  - but I have taken the holistic approach in my health and it has been working for me.  I also think that all this botox is not OK they say it is safe, but they also said smoking was safe about 60 years ago.  My boobs were always a great B but after I had my lovely daughter these bitches have gotten a bit bigger and to tell you the truth a big pain in the ass. I got measured for some new bras the other day and almost had a heart attached when I saw my new cup size. I knew that had gotten larger BUT DAMN....Let's just say that no longer wearing a bra is not going to be an option...Below are also other reasons why big titties are over rated.

• Bras {in my opinion} are not as pretty and feel like some kind of chest armor from some medieval age 

• You can no longer wear a damn button up blouse because the shirts never sit right just were your boob chest is or it just looks really tacky

The case of the dissapearing... 26 Jun 2014 10:25 AM (10 years ago)

friends. COme on now we have all had this case happen to us one day you guys are connected to the hips in the following years the friends just disappear.Now we have had some friends "disappear" and we were really happy that they did disappear those were the fare weather friends much like the fans that jump on a teams wagon when they are winning and all is good...you know the type as long as their was liquor flowing and the party was going they were around...when the shit hit the fan those were the first ones that took a hike. Those are people that no longer matter and after much agonizing bullshit you go through you finally are so relieved of their drama that you feel like a huge rock has been lifted from your shoulders. Life has been pretty much a light and bright since we got rid of the stink and started to hang out with "normal" people. But that is cool because at that point you saw who your real friends were and along the way we have made some new true friends that we can see in our lives for a long time. Making friends after 40 is never easy but your older and wiser and smell the crap allot sooner than you were in your late 20's still trying to fit in. You cut the tumors right out.



Now saying this, their are also the ones that have just disappeared that we cared for immensely and we have no idea what the hell happened. I have had this happen to family members, my husband and myself. What the f*ck? One case in particular where everything was fine, the person was here through our daughters birth and after and then all of sudden he dropped off the face of the earth. This person was a super close friend of my husbands. We have called and tried to Facebook him but he just stopped communicating with my husband and it appears with just the old party crew. I know my husband says it does not bother him but I can tell it does especially when he has called many many times and he has not bothered to call back. These guys were pretty much glued to the hips for years. Now I understand that things change, people grow and you have your own families to tend to, but throughout the years no matter how long these two did not communicate it would just take one phone call and everything would be right back were it started. I do not know what happened but I thought more of this person that to just poof be gone from our lives.

This also leaves these questions? How long and for how long do you give a shit? When do you stop trying and just walk away and let it be?  Or do you continue trying and just get knocked over every time you try to communicate with the person?

Shit...am I really having.... 12 Jun 2014 7:22 AM (10 years ago)

to have to through this "stuff" with my 4 year toddler daughter already? My GG asked me if she could grow out her hair a bit longer..I said no problem as long as she kept a clip on her bangs so she did not see hair in her face.

I asked her "GG are you excited to grow your hair longer?"
She said "Yes mama I am so excited"
I responded "GG you have such a great shade of light brown, so pretty."
She looked at me with this horror look on her face.
"But mama I don't want brown hair........ brown hair is....is.... icky...I want long blond hair".
I go why?
She said because blond hair makes you better and prettier

I almost shit my pants as picked my jaw off the floor. I sat my daughter down and explained that this was bullshit {and YES I used the word bullshit} and that was not accurate. I explained to her that all hair color is beautiful and not one type of hair color. Just like all skin color is beautiful, all eye color. We all come in every shape and color and that one "type" of look is  not better than the next.

I once was that so hopeful future mom who said their is NO way in HELL my daughter will have barbies and the Disney chicks in the house blah blah blah...well fast forward 4 years later and my damn house has become a orgy haven of naked Barbies and half dressed Disney characters. I had to troll sites for Anna from Frozen and my awesome MIL spent way too much on the Elsa doll that she happened to find. Oh...you can try to resist the "Barbie/Disney  "movement" but you can't.  I resisted as much I could but eventually you too will trampled by the mass marketing machine.   Non bull shit these kids brains get hit on a daily basis. And even if you limit the time via TV/IPAD/IPHONE they will still get the 411 from their other toddler friends at preschool. So with the dolls comes the image the image of what is considered "beautiful and accepted" in our society. I am trying my best to expose my daughter to all types of cultures and lifestyles and hope what I am teaching her now will stick.



Note - You know what pisses me off to end though if you do watch Tangled what it is saying towards the end when she cuts her hair is that short brown hair is icky and only when you have long blond hair is when your special and have power. Mmmmm....pfft.....

Overly sensitive wimpy boys...... 10 Jun 2014 5:14 PM (10 years ago)

I am scared that my lovely daughter is going to bring one of these home...god forbids I would rather she bring home some Goth wanna be band member than one of these boys. I have noticed a pattern in the last few years especially being around kids SOME {not all let's just get that right out}boys have just become whiny, wimpy and not tough. I see them on the playground, I see them at the pools I see them at my daughters self defense classes,  I see them everywhere. Crying, whining and just being big old fat cry babies. They cry at the drop off the hat, they are scared of EVErything, they can't go down a slide without being held by their mommies.They take a tumble and the moms just FREAK out to the point that they end up freaking out the kid even more.  In the mean time I look around and see the girls in the same age brackets...KICKIN ass and taking names. Not scared, tough and just living their little lives. I mean my 4 year old girl toddler graduated to the adult roller coaster at the fair this year{she is tall} she got on that thing with no fear....she went on that roller coaster 12 times that day. I don't get it and I don't remember it being this bad. Some boys have become just so sensitive.


I remember the first time my daughter fell and I looked at her and told her to suck it up{which she did} the look of horror on the other moms face on the playground was priceless. Is this part of the problem are some moms just being too over protective? It scares me that some days these whiny little boys will become adult size whiny little men- which in the bay area has become an epidemic.

What is happening and did I miss a memo that this was going to become the norm?  Or maybe I am just a ball buster with my daughter that is making her into a future ball busting independent woman? Mmmmmm

Why it is so damn hard..... 31 May 2014 6:33 AM (10 years ago)

too make new mom friends?????

Yep I know it has been awhile but I am trying to get back into the swinging from the blogging world vines so as too not lose my mind with all the random shit that swims in this brain throughout the day. I figured if I don't get this crap out of my swirling land mind called my brain I might go off on one of the suburban moms out here and that would just NOt be pretty - City girl in the HOuse.... I am also thinking about making a few changes to the blog and overall format to be even bitchier and crankier than before. Since making the move here I have seen WAAYYYY too many things that I have found strange to a city girl like myslef.....Shit crack head peeing on themselves no problem...mini vans with all these stick people stickers  f*uckin freaking me out.  YES I am finally back and feeling that old striking cold blood  feeling in my veins after a little bit of a break.

So the above came up recently. As you all know I am in my 40's and proud bitches! I have a 4 year old going on 25 and an amazing but yet smart ass husband and two extremely loud and clumsy fur monkeys.
I am very personable and will not apologize for the fact, I have sick sense of humor, love horror, loud music and love to hang out and have a good time. I am Italian so sometimes obnoxious comes to the mix I am however caring and yes......sometimes GAgh nice. I especially love getting to know new people and have never had any issues and developing new friendships....So I ask why is it so DAMN hard to make some new mommy friends?????I know that this is a question that is not only have me wondering but other moms that I have spoken to. I feel every time that I crack a joke or say to a new mom who is looking for a play date - Hey maybe we should have some wine with that play date they look at me like I threatened them with some kind of medieval torture ritual.  Dude I am now asking to take your first unborn child and to lock it up in a tower, I am just trying to feel out what kind of person you might be and if your sense of humor is going to be able to keep up with this sick ass - because I need someone to keep up sorry I just can't deal with people who have a hard time making conversation. {Yes I know some people are shy but some of those people also do not know how to form sentences - I blame cell/smart phone explosion for this}. People just don't care to get to know people anymore. A concept I do not understand like adult women who wear princess crowns - not OK.


Motherhood could be a lonely thing so when you try and connect and feel like their is no way this person could handle the terror of my personality train you just shut down. It is also way harder to make new friends when you are my age  - sorry the not so old get set in their ways. I am an open f&ckin book. In the last 4 years of this motherhood thing I have met a total of 3 gals that I love to kick it with and you know who you are wink wink....I have a tight group of old school friends and those will always be staples in my life{some we have had too just let go after much trying and many excuses we have decided it is time to move on}.

Thank balls for my amazing SIL whom is my sister from another mister has made moving here less of a shock to my black wardrobe wearing system - she is the kind of gal where I text... "
Bring the kiddos over I just set up the slip n slide" 
She shows up 10 minutes later with kids and a bottle of amazing Rose. We kick it for the afternoon meanwhile the kids are having so much fun that can't see straight - we talk reality TV - relax - Isn't that what a play date is supposed to be? Some time for decompression for both child and mom?

I want to extend more play date invitations but I sometimes feel ON SOME OCCASION not all the time that those are just so......just so.......Pffftttttt why go through all of that to go on one probably play date never to see/hear from that mother again?..you know what I mean?!? I also don't want to spend the whole time talking about my Billy -  I f*ckin see Billy everyday mommy needs a break from Billy.   I want to get to know you. We were human beings before we got abducted by the parenthood spaceship.   I think we all get caught up in life and we are just too tired sometimes to deal but it feels like friggin HS all over again and this time around I have smarter mouth, bigger attitude and less of  a filter. Now I know it takes time and like I said we are making a dent{I have met some nice mommies at my daughters preschool} but I just see how we as moms and women in general are just hard on each other? Why add another PITA item on our growing list of bull shit?

Hey wanna come over for a play date?????

Yes I have been....... 28 Mar 2014 8:15 AM (10 years ago)

gone for a long while. Trying to get back in the swing of things but damn it is getting harder and harder to keep everything together. I have a toddler as you all know and she is growing up fast and keeping my happy ass busy with activities and such. I have fur monkey number 1 who tore her ACL last Saturday and had to have major surgery on Monday to take care of her back leg - one metal plate, 6 screws and 6,000 plus dollars later we are now having to keep a very active dog confined to a pen while trying to keep fur monkey number 2 from wanting to crawl in the pen with her sister. This is going to have to be like this for 8 weeks - besides very very limited walks on a leash and harness this girl will not be able to move. Right now she is wearing the cone of hell and she is not happy ALL I can say it THANK the lord for doggie and mommy xanax.

Also I started a cooking page on FB - I started this way to see where it goes before committing to a full on blog because of this and a bunch of other crap {construction projects on the new house} plus life in general is why I have been MIA

If you guys are bored check out my page and like if you want I would totally appreciate it.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mangia-Mangia

Hope all of you guys out there are doing well. Miss the SHIT out of you!

Stuff I can no longer..... 20 Feb 2014 10:53 AM (11 years ago)

do or say now that I have a daughter.....

• I can no longer watch Steel Magnolias - that movie made me cry like a little bitch w/o a child with a daughter it hits a whole new level of snot kingdom and crying drama 

I have finally realized.... 16 Feb 2014 9:31 AM (11 years ago)

that I am DONE with certain things in my life. It has taken me a few years to get to this point and many self doubting and crying over whata/coulda/shoulda but I am done trying to make it work and figuring it out.

I have my husband, my family and beautiful daughter and friends that I have grown to love as family that have been there for me. I am so grateful......Thank you

This is typically a very....... 11 Feb 2014 6:26 AM (11 years ago)

bad week for me...The week before Valentines Day is no longer about a silly Hallmark holiday and getting super great yearly flowers from my amazing husband. To me this week will forever be the week I saw my mother suffer and pass away from the BIG bitch C.... It will be 5 years but it only seems like yesterday. I sometimes still hear her tell me that wine will make me gain weight and why don't I ever wear a dress instead of my used to be staple of black leather pants and boots. My mother and I had a very big hate and love relationship - as most Italian daughters have with their mothers. I was not the cherished boy and I was not like her. I said black she said white their was never a grey area. During this time my anxiety is through the roof, I stress myself out so much that my neck hurts, I sleep like shit {which I cannot do since I become uber bitch when I don't get my usual 9 hours}and my head is in the clouds  - but I do believe that just pouring my heart to you all it might be a bit of an easier week for me...no?

I try not to watch anything with the c word in it and I really try not to watch anything regarding mothers and daughters...so Bravo crap TV will be getting an extra work out this week - HELLO VanderPump Rules.....Not going to lie I an a bit sad and not my usual get up and go energy gal. I feel like I am in slow motion I know once this week is over I will be back to my normal old self. I am also debating if I want to go back to were she is laid to rest which is something I have not done since her funeral I just don't like to think of her there and would rather think of her energy around me at all times...My mom loved hummingbirds.  Anytime I see a hummingbird I know that - that is my mom. and the really cool part is anytime we have all been together in my brothers dads or my backyard - A hummingbird has made an appearance and we know for sure that this is her checking in on us. We always say when we see one - OH there she is - mom just made a visit!

I do hate that she was taken from us to young - I hate that fact that she had to suffer when their are so many evil people in the world that should. I hate that my beautiful child will never get to know what an amazing person her grandmother was I hate that she is no longer here.I tell me friends don't take for granted the time you could be spending with your mom because one day they will not be here anymore.  I know that we have a beautiful guardian angel above that is watching out for our family and keeping us safe. That makes these days a little easier.

Mom I love you and miss you always......

Tune in the Stepford 8 Feb 2014 7:24 AM (11 years ago)

Wife music...What the f*ck has happened to her face. She looks like a cheap hoe Barbie....Why did she ruin her looks the one thing this girl had going for her - because you know they aren't morals......She looks horrible and very very frightening. I feel for little North - God can you imagine what she will have to look up to - mommy was a sex tape hooker that sold her soul to the devil for fame and daddy an egomaniac with a Napoleon complex. STOP with the fillers and botox dear KIm you are beginning to look like real crap. Natural beauty my ass!

Sorry Creepy looking to the right WOW she looks plastic

Why I still hate to shop at................ 7 Feb 2014 1:58 PM (11 years ago)

Costco...About 2 years oh shit I mean almost 3 years ago I did a post in regards to why I did not get or never have been part of the Costco crazy - click here for original post http://mommybags.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-dont-get-it.html.

My feelings and things have not changed much since I bitched out on that post. Still the same crap and I still want to shoot myself in the head whenever I leave that damn huge grey square box of hell. I have a big pantry now and more room to store food but I just cannot bring myself to shop there. The selection is not the healthiest and really for a family of three the HUGE economy sizes are just too much. We try not to keep processed food in this house and all I see when I step into Costco is economy size of my ass that could possibly happen it I shopped here on a regular basis.

When I do I have to make a trip there I need to make sure it is not with my husband and my child. I get a huge wave of anxiety as soon as I go through those huge double doors and my hubby shoots right for the electronic department...Really do we need a 100 inch TV?   Is the 60 plus we have now not enough????  The other big fear is that the grey ugly box will swallow my daughter never to be heard from again - Kidding aside my biggest fear is turning around and losing my daughter in there - could you imagine losing your toddler in Costco - get ready for major mommy melt down because this BITCH here would lose it...fuck just the thought makes me sick I mean damn where would you start too look....Frozen foods among the 1200 taquito boxes or the aisle with the 120 pack razors and gallon size shaving cream????

When we do get the courage to do go we are usually there as soon as the door opens so we can get in and get out as long as keep everyone from ohhhh and ahhhhh crap in the aisles. No I will not get my jeans here and no GG you cannot have the 1200 jigsaw puzzle the dogs end up eating and throwing up. Here is another thing - Why the fuck do people eat here?  I know the 1.00 price tag is too much to pass up but come one that is just wrong - shit that cheap cannot be good for you it is like anything sugar free fat free and gluten free = chemical shit storm.  I mean I have heard of people making it a family outing day to go to Costco. I don't get it...I just don't get it. Can someone out there make me get it?

What is the deal...... 30 Jan 2014 8:53 AM (11 years ago)

Yes I have admitted in the past that I am a huge "reality" show junkie even though most of the garbage that is being put out as of late comes under the "docu-drama" category. Most of this shit is choreographer and I know for a fact that scripts are handed out.  The other day I had a few minutes and said to myself that I would not get sucked into the vortex of the show 100 Days of Summer - now besides the cast of douchiness especially Vince and some really vapid females which had me questioning my IQ an brain cell count- it just looked like your run of the mill drama that we have all seen before.   Like I said I had a few minutes and with me being a BRAVOaolich the channel always being on Bravo and the damn show being on about 100 times a day I was previ to a part that just drives me friggin insane about the female gender.

The constant insistent nagging of getting married - I mean to the point of nausea!  This chick has been with this guy less than one year and she is just drilling into him to "cohabitant" so she can reel/wrangle him in for a proposal in less than 12 months after that. You can tell the man is uncomfortable as HELL because all this woman talks about is marriage and kids. She is over 30 so she is freaking the hell out that she is not married yet. Panic Attack...OMG you know woman that you don't technically need a man to have a kid if you are so damn hard up for one go get your self some sperm and STFU. I do not get this fascination of having to be married in a certain time frame - I believe this is one of the reasons why we have so many damn divorces in this country people just settle just because they want to say they were married before age __________fill in the blank. They do not take the time to get to know the person and to really find out what is going on in their lives. I have seen it so many times...I have known women to rope men any way they can in order to plan their perfect wedding. Dude if you are so hard up for a party then have a damn solo one and wear a mother fucking white dress....Now I don't mean to come down on my Midwest/Southern peeps but this seems to be a huge push in these parts of the country for young brides/marriage. I don't see this happening in major urban areas...I know MANY women who's first marriage did not happen until way late 30's and no one stresses about it here...or it seems that way to me because most of the people I have met/know are popping kids out at 40{maybe not all but a huge portion}.

So what I am trying to say is enjoy your life and have fun before you decided to tie yourself down at 21. I get it that in some cases what is meant to be is meant to be but I have a 50 percent divorce rate that shows otherwise. Also lay off the I want a ring by this date and I need to be married by this time. From my experience men do not do well with ultimatums especially the hey you need to propose to me by a certain date one. I have seen many men run from those types of situations they can smell a desperate woman a mile away and just figure the nagging will get worse after they are married. . Relax, take it day by day and have fun getting to know each other. Live together for awhile{I would make that a requirement before getting a marriage license} - you learn allot from a person when you live with them - so many things that you sometimes wonder fuck if I had lived with my first husband before I got married I would have not had a divorce under my belt.

We live and we learn. T