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Who's to Say I Can't Do Everything 29 Dec 2020 8:08 AM (4 years ago)

Then, a year later I wrote my actual 500th post and re-announced my retirement with the thought that this was it, knowing (of course) one never says never.

So today I'm not re-announcing my retirement or announcing my un-retirement.  I would say I'm announcing my re-announcement of how tough it is to steer kids through the college selection process, which is a pretty good reason to not retire (in life, not blogging).

Since I wrote a post two years ago, just prior to my first announcement of my retirement, about my first daughter's college selection process; I feel it incumbent to pause my retirement and talk a little about daughter #2's college selection process which, of course, will likely sharply delay my actual (real life) retirement and drives me to want to un-retire from blogging in order to vent!

Maybe I should take a quick pause from this retirement pause and extend the one streak I still have going, my word of the year post.  This year, 2020, as we know has been a real *itch.  As such we really don't have a fun word to spoof.  The pandemic has not given us much fun (and certainly made Ashley Madison Adventures pretty difficult) and of course "pandemic" being the word of the year means there's not much fun in writing about the word of the year.  Anyway, the pandemic really affected us and that's about all I have to say.  Btw, my personal favorite word this year was asynchronous, as in Ryan's posts are usually pretty asynchronous!

Anyway, because of that word of the year, college has been a real wild ride for daughter #1.  She was accepted at her Dream U and we moved her in 1.5 years ago to that sunny happy place.  As I told many friends when asked "how's she doing," I would say if she was having more fun it would be against the law.  She also did well academically, which is sort of important you know!  Her year was cut short from the COVID thing but that was OK.  We enjoyed her being home in April (a month early).  She did move back over the summer, working in paradise but learning that real life is a bitch, and college is great (and better when mom and dad are paying for room and board).  She had a pretty good fall and is now back home for the holidays but looking forward to getting back to the sun.

So let's talk about daughter #2 and her adventures!  And let's look at some new quirky college vernacular:

Academic Qualifier

Rolling Admissions

Roster Size

D3

Accept to Deposit Yield

Merit vs Need Based Aid

Daughter #2 is not, as we might say, a passionate individual.  I think the Gen Z term would be "chill."  Because of that she has never had that #DreamU place in her mind.  Which started out as good because I thought that meant I could talk her into going to Ryan's old Big State U and give me an excuse to go back for football weekends.  BSU would actually be a great place for her as they have just the smelly animal science majors she wants!  In fact, she could make a big impact with one particular unique sport she has been playing since she was 8.  Very few schools play this sport but Big State U is one and while they have a team they are not great.  Which is great for Daughter #2 as she is probably better than the girls who are currently playing.  But BSU is big and she is an introvert so maybe not the best.  And, omg, she might meet a degenerate like me there, so maybe I should talk her into somewhere else!

Hard to walk away from 10-min walk to horses

So daughter #2 is pretty fantastic at sports.  Not great at a particular sport but solidly good at pretty much any sport.  That means the big schools (D1) are not too interested (and being vertically challenged doesn't help either).  But I kind of thought smaller schools (Division 3/D3) might let her play.  So we spent a year talking about it and her ignoring me.  Finally we got some video together and lo and behold a couple of coaches bit.  You see, small college (D3) sports is pretty interesting from a recruiting standpoint.  There are no athletic scholarships but schools still want to win.  So D3 schools are looking for kids that can compete athletically and academically AND get the merit scholarship $'s needed to attract them because most of the D3 schools are small privates with high $ tuition.  And so entered fancy private equestrian school for rich Yankees!  This school is perfect!  Daughter #2 can study big animals every day at their barn and fields AND they SUCK at the two sports she is great at!  Video sent and Bingo, both coaches were interested and all of a sudden Daughter #2 understands that old Dad Ryan may not be completely stupid.  She loves the attention and now wants to play sports in college and understands that maybe it will be helpful if a coach is making sure she studies!  And, oh btw, we have some family connections here and its not too far from BSU, so maybe Ryan gets his football weekends anyway along with watching Daughter #2 play!

They really need someone that can shoot the "3"

But the interest doesn't stop there.  We send video to another school that sucks at sports.  Bingo, another coach is interested!  Maybe she wants quirkly-cool aquatic Chesapeake bay liberal arts college?  In fact this school is even MORE interested.  We actually visited for an Open House two years ago, because Dad Ryan knows what he's talking about but Daughter #2 was bored and said it was too remote.  But now that two coaches are telling her she could play and help them build a program, this place is pretty amazing!  Wow, maybe I just need to work on my college sales pitch.

Amazing architecture, but a little "churchy"

Then she gets accepted to the three Florida sunshine colleges she originally said she was interested in to be closer to Daughter #1.  And wow, the scholarship $'s are pretty good.  But they are D2 schools, not big time but interested enough in winning to offer scholarships.  At those schools, short may not work for sport #1 and these fancy schools are recruiting Martina Navratilova's for their country club sports, so athletics may not be an option here.  Which of course was not important a year ago but now it is so these may be off the list.  Ryan is not too disappointed except it removes an excuse to go to Florida.

Oh, btw, did I mention that a year ago I made some calls and got Daughter #2 an opportunity to practice with Big State U's unique equestrian sport that she is good at and they are not?  Yeah, if she can get in, she can do that.  Seems like attention is only bad when Dad Ryan does it.

Cool beach scene, maybe too "earthy"

So while its nice to be wanted, now we have to decide who to play for and what to study.  Actually all are a fine academic fit and pretty good schools, so at this point I guess I just need to let her do her thing and maybe, just maybe, she can do everything!

But folks, get those kids practicing at dancing, violin, hockey, or even video games (yep, you wouldn't believe it but colleges have video game teams now) there are scholarship $'s out there to be had and not everybody has to go broke to pay for a degree if you have some skills to sell!

But damn, I just wish I could have one child who could give me an excuse to go back and party at Big State U again!

For now, Happy New Year and may 2021 be everything that 2020 wasn't!  And maybe I have another post in me about Daughter #1 now.

"Upside down

Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found

I don't want this feeling to go away

Please don't go away, please don't go away, please don't go away,

Is this how it's supposed to be

Is this how it's supposed to be

 

I have to admit this song makes me cry.  It's hard to believe I took my (then) 3 and 5 year old daughters this movie and now, 14 years later, they are off and doing their own great things!

Good People All, this Christmas Time 9 Dec 2019 6:28 AM (5 years ago)

Have a cookie (recipe) from one of these great bloggers!

Baker

blossom

Cat

greengirl

Hermione

Jz

Lindy

little monkey

messymimi

Mrs. Fever

olivia

Ronnie

Ryan

Sassy

selkie  (blog here, recipe here)

And enjoy one of my favorite performers Allison Krauss perform a Wexford Carol

I Must Be Moving On 5 Dec 2018 9:53 AM (6 years ago)

*   Firstly - It's my bloggoversary (sort of)!  Yes eight years ago, two days ago, I wrote my first blog post (here)!  I had no idea how long I would go but it certainly wasn't this long.  It's been a lot of fun and as Forrest Gump once said "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll go home."  Yes, I'll probably do one more post to make it an even 500 and then I'll probably do as my gran-dad used to say "call in the dogs and piss on the fire," for as those Supertramp lyrics say "I must be moving on."  I may drop in on occasion but at some point you've got to realize you don't have too much more to say on a given topic and I've probably already said too much!  :)

*   Secondly (sort of) - This is my 499th post - oh wait, I already implied that.  But because I'm a slave to retail, I tend to mark time and efforts at odd intervals (see here).  This is sort of my Wal-Mart special, a loaf of bread for $0.99 or in this case a 500th post for the low price of 499 (psst, it's called psychology pricing or in this case blogging with a lack of cognitive purpose)!

*    Nextly -  Since I minored in English and enjoy thinking about words I don't know how to use, I always like to use this time to say a word about the word of the year.  This year the word of the year is:

Oxford - Toxic
Dictionary.com - Misinformation

These are good words for me and this blog. Finally a word that describes the reality of this blog, misinformation on how one should react to marital frustrations and the resulting pursuit of infidelity through "married dating" social sites and how to avoid the potential for toxic outcomes.  But really, aren't we so through with misinformation and toxic environments (along with other recent words of the year words like complicit and post-truth)?  I really want to get back to a time when we had meaningful words of the year like:

Well I think the best way to be complicit in moving past toxic misinformation in a post-truth world is to think about good things.  And the best thing to think about at this time of year is -

*    the real point of today, Lastly

 Which is -


Divinity - A True Southern Delight


Ingredients:

1 Cup      Boiling Water

3/4 Cup   Light Karo Syrup (btw, for Southerners there is no other corn syrup!)
3 Cups    Sugar
Pinch           Salt
2                  Egg Whites
1 Cup          Chopped Pecans
48                Pecan Halves, which in Mississippi you can usually just get in your back yard!
1 tsp            Vanilla

Instructions:
*     Heat water, Karo Syrup, Sugar, and salt to a gentle boil at 234 degrees (measure w/candy therm)
*     Separate out egg whites from eggs into mixing bowl (eggs should be at room temperature), beat/spank egg white vigorously (ask JZ how to do this) until frothy or turned on.
*     Add 1/2 of syrup to egg whites in mixing bowl, whisking constantly.
*     Continue heating remaining syrup to 270 degrees or until "crack" stage and by "crack" I mean candy, you won't be smoking this!
*     Pour "candy"/syrup mixture into egg mixture bowl, whisking constantly until high gloss turns to dull and let cool.

Not the Beaumont Mansion!

*     Fold in chopped pecans and vanilla into candy mixture.
*     Drop candy by spoonfuls onto wax paper.
*     If candy sets too fast add a drop of remaining boiling water to make creamy as you spoon onto wax paper.
*     For garnish, add a pecan half to top of candy just before it sets.

If you want a visual on this, JZ was good enough to alert me to a YouTube video on making Divinity, How to Make Real Divinity - The Hillbilly Kitchen.  This is a little different recipe but that Cream of Tartar is a good idea whenever making a meringue type recipe.  And I do like the idea of the Hillbilly Kitchen as this is real Southern!

Most people think about snow and the North Pole at Christmas.  But to me, growing up, Christmas was always about traveling south passing through Chattanooga, Birmingham, and Jackson in route to the most southern place in the world - Vicksburg and walking into my grandma's home where there would always be plates of fudge and of course Divinity.

Please check out our other cookie makers today!




"Goodbye stranger, it's been nice;
Hope you find your paradise.
Tried to see your point of view,
Hope your dreams will come true......"

"Oh, I'm leaving,
I've got to go...."

Tell Everybody I'm on My Way 31 Oct 2018 5:20 AM (6 years ago)

Elite w/poolside Moc'tinis!

"New Friends and New Places to See..."

Early Decision
Early Action
Priority Scholarship Deadline
Reach and Safety School/Access Institution
Flagship Institution
Successful Academic Progress
Matriculation
Expected Family Contribution/FAFSA
First Time in College

Big $'s but engaged faculty

Spring to Fall First Year Retention Rate
Six Year Graduation Rate
Mid Career Median Salary
Full Freight
Net Price Calculator
Cleary Report

Over the past year and a half the family and I have been on an arduous journey visiting 15 colleges and universities in six states and DC trying to identify where our eldest will take her next steps in life.  Along the way we have learned, on the fly, a new language one has to become familiar with to gain entrance into this new world of academic higher education.  Granted, I've lived my whole life around higher education.  In fact two of my all time favorite posts have been about colleges and college towns.

Elite and it shows!

How getting into college is like meeting people on Ashley Madison
Ryan's World Wide college town tour

However, everything certainly seems quite different as a parent and seeing all of this through the eyes of my daughter.

As cool when football sucks?

Getting a job is what is most important so is the mid-year median income of that school's grads the most important factor?  But if they don't enjoy college they will never make it to graduation day so maybe spring to fall retention for "first time in college freshmen" is most important?  They are in college to learn but if they don't like the food and where they live they won't be happy and won't be able to focus on their studies so maybe Princeton Review's rating of "Best College Dining Services" is important.  And if the food sucks on Saturday night is she going to need a lot of extra $'s for Chipotle?  That could be a big $ suckage!  Classes are Monday through Friday but if they are lonely on the weekend they will want to come home and won't build an affinity towards the campus and thus won't progress towards graduation so maybe campus life is kind of important (and dang I sure would like to see Zedd for Homecoming).  But then again, it really is about learning so how connected are the faculty to their students, will Professor X really know who she is, and are there really great experiential learning opportunities beyond the classroom because that is what she really wants.  Study Abroad, should we be interested?  And then what is all this about Title IX, the Cleary Report, the Dear Colleague Letter; I thought this little college town seemed so safe?  Is safety really important?  Probably is and can I really believe those reports on the institution's web page?  Maybe I should be reading "College Confidential" blogs?  She wants to go far away to a sunny place for college, what are the hidden costs we don't now foresee like flights home over fall break?  And OMG, I live paycheck to paycheck but the Federal Government (FAFSA) thinks Shannon and I are doing fine and dandy and will have no problem signing $50K checks to good old Fancy U (google EFC)!

Oh wait, we have to get into these schools first!!!

S-A-F-E-T-Y, Safety DANCE!

That one with the great median mid-year income for graduates has a 30% acceptance rate.  With her grades and SAT she only has a 50/50 chance of getting in.  Can dance and Early Decision put her over the line.  Yes, Early Decision that big one chip gamble on the college of your dreams.  Early Decision, Early Action, Application Deadline to be considered for merit scholarship; so many strategies to consider.  We have come to understand and rue the tangled web of decisions needed in today's murky world of college applications.  If she doesn't get into her dream school what school can she get into that will make her happy and won't cost a ridiculous sum of money to a school with lesser cache!  It's one thing to lay out $65K to an Ivy League school but I ain't paying $65K/year just because they have a ropes course and Taco Tuesday on the Quad!  Although now that I think about it I would like to visit and enjoy that Lazy River myself, why didn't they have this stuff when I was in college!

Anyway, because of our life and lives this process, though stressful, has to a degree become a collage of our entire life.  We started off where Shannon and I first met and got to re-experience what we loved about that place.  We visited my Big State U.  We finished our long magical mystery tour two weekends ago at two schools that are in the heart of where our girls have come to love.  Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party was a way to put a smiling enjoyable exclamation point onto a somewhat scary, apprehensive process that in the end is what we've all been looking forward to for a long time.

Chipotle @Union but suitcase campus

But as a parent this is very tough.  I have spent the last 17 years of my life trying to take care of this individual.  Now, as we face college, I understand that going forward for the rest of my life there will be more days I don't see her than days I do.  Though heartbreaking its also exhilarating to imagine what her life will become.


In the end all you can do is hope you've established firm ground for your kids to start life upon.  Dang, I am glad my younger one loves Big State U as much as I do and doesn't want to go anywhere else so we don't have to go through all this BS again.  I'm done!

"Tell everybody I'm on my way
and I'm loving every step I take.
With the sun beating down yes
I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face......"

More to Find Than Can Ever Be Found 30 Jul 2018 9:54 AM (6 years ago)

Or Whiskey Before Boarding


Our family has an ongoing joke that our girls can never get a straight answer from Shannon and Ryan on what we like in a restaurant.  It always ends up going into a full on Travel Channel styled debate on quality control, menu selection, service, and value.  But we enjoy it.  Shannon of course just wants the best food and a great glass of Pinot and isn't worried about price.  For Ryan though, enjoyment (as with many things in his life) is always a bit nebulous and grounded in value.  Meaning, Ryan loves a good Filet Mignon but would rather have a great $25 filet with pretty good service over an $80 orgasmic filet.  Well maybe Filet Mignon is not a good illustration as an $80 velvet textured filet that you can spread with your tongue is a rare and beautiful thing like other things that are so tender you can spread with you tongue.  But anyway, any answer from Ryan on "do you like this place daddy?" is clouded in price vs value, along with presentation, choices of sides, service, and other accouterments that nobody (and certainly not my daughters) care about.

Anyway, a few weeks ago we found our way meandering through Orlando with a few hours to kill ahead of boarding a homeward flight from ORD to BWI.  Orlando means Disney and Disney is a second home to my girls.  On a quick count I believe we've been to Disney (Cali, Florida, and cruise included) fifteen (15) times since they were born.  Wait, this past time was probably the 16th and I'm probably forgetting one or two.  Anyway, we are addicted to Disney.  And because I'm who I am and we are who we are and this blog is what it is, I am addicted to determining the best, most efficient, and affordable way to enjoy Disney and then to, of course, blog about it.

Btw, here are my past Disney Posts:

Celtic Dance at Raglan Road

     The Rides - Where's Your Laughin' Place
     Places to Eat (and Pee) - Second Star to the Right
     Special Ryan Suggestions - How Do You Do
     More Ryan Special Suggestions - A Pirate's Life for Me
     Ryan in Cali - Scary Monsters

So over the past few visits we have decided that our new favorite restaurant in Disney World is Raglan Road located within Disney Springs.  Raglan Road has it all for Ryan:  good reasonably priced food, great service, inspiring music, and smokin' hot Irish dancers!

What you end up with a happy environment, a warm atmosphere, solidly good food not at Victoria and Albert's pricing, and a free show!  Who doesn't like free, especially at Disney.  Doesn't Irish music and those quick footed Irish dancers just make life seem great!?  And when they are so close to you and so cute, all the better (dancers and musicians)!  At our last visit we got to see these dancers and the Briste Band who are one talented group of cute Irish lassies!  Yes, during your visit you will laugh, cry, drink, maybe be kicked, maybe fall down from too much drink but you will leave full and happy.

Chicken Pot Pie - YUM!

So Raglan Road comes out punching for pleasure from the time you sit down.  First tasting action is the amazing Irish soda bread with their special Guinness Dipping Sauce that, with the beer and Brown Sugar, is delightfully tangy and sweet (just like those quick stepping dancers)!  I would definitely consider an appetizer at this place.  There are many to choose from including salads and some great seafood (and yes they have wings if you just can't break free from your Yankee ways).  We like the Smokie City which is a creamy baked haddock spread with potatoes and tomatoes enjoyed over crispy toasted baguette.  By now Shannon half way through her first glass of Pinot.  Ryan does have to bail on authenticity here as he has never been one of those bitter brown beer dudes.  I admit I have to punt and do a lager.  For the true of beer connoisseur Raglan Road does have beer flights and true Irish imports.

If you don't have a big appetite, many of the appetizers and salads can sub in for center of the plate.  Shannon loves their Irish Egg, the scallops on the appetizer menu can make a meal, and if you are a little too chichi, fru fru, or simply Continental you can go with their Goat Cheese terrine with shallots and shiitake mushrooms over mixed greens.

Ryan is not a real heavy eater so when I'm going to Raglan Road I try to not eat all day and save up for some real gluttony.  I am simple and love the Chicken Pot Pie (often a special) or the Guinness Beef Stew.  The pies are warm and hearty with the savory mushrooms and Irish root vegetables making the dish as much as the main protein feature.  The creamy filling in contrast to the crisp scratch pie crust creates a delightful distinction yet balance to your palate.  You have to have the Colcannon Mashed Potatoes as a side.  I'm not a big veggie eater but the fresh bacon & almond roasted brussels are a rare way to get me to eat those typically nasty things.  The parsnips are nice and Irishy too!  Be careful the portions are mighty!  The Roast Chicken will feed a small army and if you have your kiddies along they do make a decent burger.  If you do feel like you have to experience tasteless Brit food they do have the obligatory fish and chips and bangers and mash (or in Raglan's case and booze).

Dessert is a Irish drama as there is so much to choose from including Fluffy Lemon Clouds, Sinful Chocolate Smothered Cake, Tart Berry trifles, and apple crumb cake.  I'm always a sucker for bread pudding so that is typically my desire.  But no worries you can go with a min-dessert flight which is typically how the Beaumont's roll.  If you are not merry enough yet pair that dessert with a Bailey Irish coffee or a silky smooth port.

By now you are full of food and full of drink and dance, nothing can get you down; even if you have to board a plane and go home.

So next time you are a Disney and you don't have an eternity of money (or time) then just click your heels, say Erin Go Bragh, and head over to Raglan Road and enjoy!

"May you always have...

Walls for the winds 

A roof for the rain 

Tea beside the fire 

Laughter to cheer you 

Those you love near you 

And all your heart might desire."

As Soon as You Get it You Want Something New 27 Jun 2018 2:18 PM (6 years ago)

Hell-a-Good Hair Coach T as DD Jr.

Could be Katie or cute adviser from LCU

TMI Tuesday - It's Just a Fantasy 29 May 2018 6:07 PM (6 years ago)

It's been a long time and I can't think of anything to write about.  If you are new and have not played along this is a really fun way to waste time!

Here is TMI Tuesday!

Sail on Silver Girl 30 Apr 2018 12:16 PM (7 years ago)

"Sail on by.  Your time has come to shine all your dreams are on their way.  See how they shine.  Oh, if you need a friend I'm sailing right behind."

Bridge Over Troubled Water was released in January, 1970 and became, perhaps, Simon & Garfunkel's most consequential song.  If imitation is the greatest form of flattery then the song is substantial in that it was later covered by Aretha Franklin and Elvis Presley (who both offer a more gospel perspective on the song).  The song is beautifully written, beautifully sung, and beautifully produced, being influenced by and pulling from elements of the Phil Specter Wall of Sound Wrecking Crew.  The soft piano at the entrance and through the first two verses that ultimately bleeds into the dramatic orchestral bridge give peace, joy, or solace to whichever mood the listener is in.  That bridge leads to one of the more apparently introspective third verses in popular music and one of the more pressing questions, "who is Silver Girl?"

Originally Paul Simon intended the song to be two verses.  Simon's producer convinced him he needed a third verse to support that big histrionic sound at the end.  Simon then quickly penned a third verse in the studio somewhat on the fly.  Apparently the Silver Girl reference was a simple mischievous jibe at Simon's then wife, Peggy Harper.  Harper had been recently perplexed by premature grey hairs.  Simon had playfully created the nickname "Silver Girl" for her.  That third verse became his simple hope for her happiness.  And thus a simple, off the cuff, playful reference ends up being the frame to a more meaningful purpose.

That song was a central focus of an award ceremony I recently attended at my daughter's school.  The recipient of the school's annual alumni service award cited that song as a passage that had given their family solace in times of personal crisis.  She was quite eloquent in describing her love of the school and how the school and the familial relationships she had developed with faculty, alumni, students, and other parents had truly been a Bridge of Over Troubled Water many times in her life and thus the song was emblematic of those feelings of connection.

As I listened her wonderful speech I reflected on my life.  As I often do I reflected on choices I have made and what they represent to me.  And of course how I could make meaning of them on this blog.

Recently a freelance writer contacted me and I did a brief interview for a piece she may write on Ashley Madison.  I'm not sure if she will use any of my feedback.  She asked the typical questions:  does your wife know? what would she think if she found out?  why did I first go onto the website?  what attracted me?  what still attracts me?  I'm not sure I gave her good answers but it did give me pause for reflection.

Over the past fourteen years a wonderful historic river has been ubiquitous in the background of my life.  I see it from my office.  I run across it and along it on afternoon runs.  I hike along its banks on the weekend.  I've kayaked along it many times with my wonderful friend Sandee on lazy sunny spring afternoons.  Running along the river is the C&O canal a 180 mile trail from Cumberland, MD to Georgetown in DC.  The C&O is a serene bypass or perhaps a frontage road to the river just slightly to the north and below those highway bridges above the river. There are many historic and beautiful bridges that ford the river for travelers.  While the river is mostly tranquil, rarely troubled, those bridges take travelers past the river and onward to where they are destined.  And for those not so much in a hurry and in need of a detour, the canal is truly a calming third place escape from those troubled waters of life or towards one's "dreams along the way."

Life does have many troubled waters and, as with that eloquent speaker I so enjoyed Saturday night, the communities we make help us ford those waters.  In my life my daughters are my bridge, my work is my bridge, the school community I have come to love and enjoy serving are my bridge.  I take pride in knowing I matter in my community, that people consider what I have to say relevant.  I enjoy working in my yard and seeing balance and beauty along the flower beds rimming our house.  I love that so many birds and sometimes woodland critters find food and shelter in and around our deck and porch.  The fact that our family "matters" is a bridge over troubled water for me.

Ashley Madison has been an aspect of my life for several years now.  For some it may be a bridge over troubled water or simply a bridge away from a troubled life.  For me it was a silly chance encounter and one I did not anticipate.  It was proverbially an off the cuff off ramp from an, at the time, tumultuous life.  It has been a third place, a third verse, a detour, and a canal running along side yet never really crossing the river of my life.  It is not a Bridge Over Troubled Water, much more valuable things are that for me.  But the people I've met on AM and on the blogosphere have been a sunny day along the river, a pleasant detour, a convenient frontage road that has allowed me to drift off the highway for a few moments.

I hope I have been that for others.



"Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind...."

I'm Not Ashamed to Listen to the Fast Falling Rain 30 Mar 2018 11:09 AM (7 years ago)

I am always bad with letting my mind wander.  As I sit here going over my itemized deductions for taxes I see where I need to fill out an 8283 - Noncash Charitable Contributions form.  Then I remember I never got a final document from Alecia for all that furniture I donated to her program last May.  Dang I said I was going to get that from her and now she's gone.  Oh yeah, I wrote about Alecia in my blog about three years ago; how I had reconnected with her and what was happening in her life.  I wrote two posts using a kind of "karma" theme with Three Dog Night's Shambala as the lyrics.  It was going to be a three part post but I never did part three!  For anyone who is new here Alecia was my first Ashley Madison meet.

Oh well as Three Dog Night wrote in another song "the Show Must Go On," so here is part III.  Alecia has stayed in communication over the past three years.  She called me once frantically worried after her daughter moved onto her college campus.  I talked her through her nerves.  Alecia is a social worker and I helped her on some projects.  I probably had opportunities to connect further but I didn't push.  Last spring I had a lot of furniture to donate and I knew her organization could probably use it so I called her.  It ended up being a very therapeutic endeavor.   She had two clients moving into the same apartment building who needed anything I could offer.  I ended up spending the better part of a weekend working with a moving company to set up these two forlorn little apartments tucked away along a forgotten side street of our city.  The stories behind these little families moved me.  The downstairs apartment was to go to a mom and her two boys.  Mom had a restraining order on the dad who had taken the family south for vacation and then simply left the mom on the side of a Louisiana road and left.  The mom had to hitch hike back with no money but made it and now was trying to mend her life back together.  The upstairs apartment was for a single dad who was taking sole custody of his daughter as the mom suffered through that opioid thing we all here about on the news.  I have to admit I shed tears as I placed furniture in a new place that had long been in place in my memories.  I imagined how that furniture might be sat on, how those toys might be played with, and how that crib (once slept in by my daughters) may be enjoyed by a new family.  I remembered scenes from my past that included those pieces of furniture and imagined that new scenes would occur with those same pieces.  Scenes I would never see but hoped would occur.  Anyway, by the time we got the furniture in each apartment those once forlorn spaces started to feel like a home and I felt as warm inside as the springtime air outside.

Alecia thanked me for the furniture and gave me a warm hug.  I think that was the last time I saw her.  On Facebook I saw where she met a guy and ran off to California and has since formed a new life.  I'm happy for her.  I'm sure I can send her a note on Facebook and she'll get me that documentation.  The guy isn't as good looking as me and doesn't look as cool but hey he isn't married so I can't fault her!  Sorry my mind wanders.

Oh wait, I implied I had made contact with a lady on AM on my last post.  I have to admit that getting a note back from a 40 - something petite Asian women in the semi-conductor business was both exciting and daunting.  Unfortunately we had our annual family vacation and in the this case Ryan's curiosity didn't get him in trouble and I let that prospect slip away.

Upon my return I came across another really smart lady (who spoke three languages) and I sent her a pretty good note if I do say so myself:

"Hmmmm, I only speak English and food, I feel at a loss. But I must say you are right about chocolate, it satisfies for about an hour in the afternoon but dang that hour is really nice and that pick me up is often really needed, particularly if accompanied by a cup of Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee. So yeah, coffee and Sharffen Berger chocolate (see I talk food) can be a great start.

So I'm all about lazy and fun adventurous days and if they are accompanied by chocolate or coffee or maybe even one of those Pinots they have over in Loudoun Valley all the better!

So let's talk politics and you can curse me out in German if you don't like my opinion and I'll just think you are smiling at the scenery! :)

Take care and enjoy the rest of the snow on this fine second day of spring. "

Unfortunately I was a day late and a credit short as she had just met "her guy" as she responded.  But wasn't it nice for her to thank me for my nice note!

I've not spoken of Sandee for some time.  Ironically she moved to the same Carolina beach I once had an opportunity to work some 20 years ago.  Life might have been very different had I gotten that job, Shannon might have been much happier.  I stay in touch with Sandee as we constantly poke fun at one another for our very different political perspectives.  If I were more daring or more courageous we may have ended up together.  I joke with her that we will end up together in our 80's at some "old folks home."  We will be like the cute little couple who finishes up each other sentences.  I don't think another women has ever "gotten" me the way Sandee has/did.  In another world I do see us as those soul mates that are so sickeningly happy together, adults that still splash each other in the river and laugh at each other's stupid jokes.  But who knows, as my Alecia story has never really ended I suspect my Sandee story or my Ryan story for that matter will never really end.

Unfortunately taxes never end as well so I probably should get back to work.


As my mind continues to wander I'm reminded of one of my favorite artists who (somewhat like me) has made a career of covering other artists.  Here is a song that sort of sums up my mood.  Gordon Lightfoot wrote the words but I think I like Tony Rice's version just as well.

"Words are for explaining the mistakes we might have made
Names are for calling when there's nothing left to say.
I'm not ashamed, no, to say that I've loved you well.
I'm not ashamed, and yet I know I'm just a name, that's all
scratched upon your wall;
You've used it well, but what the hell,
that's what walls are for...."

About Forty-Five Minutes Southeast of Thibodaux, Louisiana 12 Feb 2018 1:33 PM (7 years ago)

Happy Mardi Gras!


If you have read this blog you know the two things I like talkin' 'bout the mostest is chasing ladies on social media sites and cookin' food.  And if I'm talkin' food I'm usually talkin' 'bout poor folks food like jambalaya or paella or anything else you can scratch up and throw together in a pot and stew on all day.  Of all the topics I've written about (food or chasin') Creole food on Mardi Gras has been perhaps my favorite and my most consistent annual post.

Another thing I love is visiting restaurants where the real food is made and enjoyed by the locals.  Not the tourists, the people who like the real deal.  I've spent some time down south and across those bayous in Louisiana.  One of my all time favorite "diner, drive-in and dives" type places I've come
across is the Jambalaya Shoppe.  The original store is in Gonzales, LA near Baton Rouge.  It's kind of an In and Out Burger meets Boudreaux the Cajun.  The Jambalaya Shoppes have franchised out across Louisiana now totaling about a dozen shops.  But they all serve great food.  One unique item they have that is sort of a new take on classic flava' (Cajun dialect) is Pastalaya.  So since I've done just about every creole recipe I know I present you today with -


The Jambalaya Shoppe's Pastalaya

Ingredients:
2 Tbs     Butter
1#          Boneless/Skinless Chicken Breast Cut into 1" cubes
1#          Andouille Sausage cut into 0.5" rounds
2 Cups   Trinity:  equal parts finely diced yellow onion, green pepper, and celery
2 Cups   Fresh Tomatoes chopped
1 Cup     Chicken Broth
2             Garlic Cloves minced
2 Tbs      Creole Seasoning:  paprika, salt, onion powder, garlic powder, oregano, basil, white pepper, thyme, celery seed, cayenne, ground black pepper
1#           Linguini, cooked
0.25 Cup Green Onion Chopped

*     In Dutch oven melt butter over medium heat.  Add chicken and sausage and cook until lightly browned.  Remove meat and set aside, leave butter and drippings.
*     Add Trinity to pot an cook until softened, stirring occasionally for about 7 minutes
*     Add back in chicken, sausage along with tomatoes, chicken broth, garlic, and creole seasoning.  Bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat to medium and cover.  Let simmer for about 15 minutes.
*     Stir in cooked pasta and green onions

Here is some more information on the Jambalaya Shoppes down dere in Louisiana!

http://dastylishfoodie.com/2016/04/the-jambalaya-shoppe-louisiana-home-cooking/

http://www.thejambalayashoppe.com/lafayette-la.html

And here are my past Mardi Gras food posts, laissez les bon temps roulade!

Here are my other Mardi Gras Food Posts
2011 - Cajun vs Creole
2012 - Muffuleta
2013 - Po Boy
2014 - Shrimp Creole
2015 - Gumbo Rice Fritters
2016 - Gumbo
2017 - King Cake Cupcakes


And here's you dat old Cajun song about dat dere man in da swamp....





As for that other love in life, yeah I did that as well recently.  Here is my latest effort on AM, do you think this note will get a reply?

I Can't See a Single Storm Cloud in the Sky but I Sure Can Smell the Rain 31 Jan 2018 6:50 AM (7 years ago)

"Looking back is a bad habit" R. Cogburn

Thanks to my parents I grew up with very eclectic taste in music.  My earliest memories are of Glenn Campbell singing the theme song to "True Grit" and the Beatles "Maxwell Silver's Hammer," I loved it not quite getting the disturbing violent imagery in the lyrics (even then I was clueless).  But something about Classic Country music always gave me a warm soothing safe feeling of home.  Ray Charles said of country music "the words to country songs are very earthy like the blues.  They're not as dressed up and the people are very honest and say, 'look, I miss you darlin,' so I went out and got drunk in this bar..."  I guess he's right, I just like country because it is clean and true and the stories are so great and don't feel like you have to pour your beer into a glass!  I always seem to feel best when listening to Glenn Campbell or Waylon Jennings or Johnny Cash.  All of which get a great deal of playful disdain from the fam who like to chastise me for my taste that is shared by about 0.01% of the population.  But I don't really care, I am after all the arch-typical goofy dad.

Of course in college my musical tastes evolved and I liked all that grunge and raw Seattle rock of the 90's.  After college I even delved into some of that rave techno stuff that all the hot girls liked to dance to in the clubs, funny how that was always my primary motivation in life.  That's kind of where I met Shannon, the eternal new waver - anti old schooler who is the antithesis to good old Ryan.

When Ryan and Shannon moved the deep south in the mid-90's we left all that East Coast techo-electronica and landed on an island where only Classic Rock, Pop, and Country lived.  The good news was that those years were full of (now) Disney Classics on the pop charts (see Lion King release date, etc) and quite a nice new era in Country music.  Those country years featured the continued emergence of Garth and the introduction of Toby Keith, Faith Hill, Clint Black, Collin Raye, Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson, Sawyer Brown, and many others.  One of my favorite songs from this time is Blackhawk's "I Sure Can Smell the Rain."  "Somehow what she never says means more than all the other words I here."  Wow, ain't that the truth!

Unfortunately down there, we totally missed the Gangsta rap thing (I'm still not quite sure who Tupac is, is that some type of cold medicine?).

Anyway I like Blackhawk and all that early 90's Country that is now Classic Country along with all that Classic Country stuff I listened to when I was really young and it was new country.

I think one of the last times I wrote I mentioned that I had been back on AM!  I even got a response from a lady names Alexa.  Of course her name isn't Alexa, but as always the names here are changed to protect the guilty!  :)

Anyway, want to meet her?  As one of my fond former blog friends used to say?

Alexa is an INTJ and apparently difficult (as stated in her profile).  I also mentioned her here.

Early on Alexa was very inquisitive.  I enjoy the subtle dance during this period, telling a little of oneself but not revealing too much factual data.  In a sense this is more revealing as you tell as much who you want to be as you do who you are.  I tend to be coy and like to play.  Hint, hint, to ladies I like when they play along.  Alexa was being very INTJ and not playing along very well.

When she asked about my profile tagline "ami du jour," I replied:

Ryan"

Alexa didn't feign delight at my humor, just asked more questions:

"Ami duj our, very cute then.  Creative.
Have you had an affair before?"


An affair to me is one where there is intimacy involved.  What drew you to my profile considering you're  in ******ville and I'm in  ********** County?  I've had three relationships (none met via AM), the longest was three years and the other  two were about 1 1/2 years so yep, I'm not a short-term  kinda gal, and I don't go poof either. Why have you not  met anyone on the site in five years?  That's a long time relatively speaking.

And  I always need and  want funny things, so thank you for sending that.  Much appreciated "

Well that's starting to recognize my charm, savoir faire, and joie de vivre et al!  I'll be honest with you I kind of pulled a Trump on the "why have you not met anyone of this site..."  Nobody wants to hear your resume and that you are a blogger before that first "meet and greet."

So the messages went back and forth.  A few things in common, we both play racket sports though she is more into tennis (me racquetball).  She works in and around the hospitality business as do I but does not like to cook (as I do) and didn't seem so interested in talking about cuisine (thus I couldn't impress her with my foodiness).  She came across as a bit of a Yankee, thus impervious to my Southern charms.

All things considered things were not flowing seemlessly yet I still couldn't detach from her profile of wanting someone well traveled, well education, sophisticated, confident, yada, yada.  Dangit, I wanted her to recognize and admit how charming and witty I am.  Yes, I know the hubris is showing.

But then again, maybe words did not come to her easily.  Alas, she did always answer me and she was still asking questions.  She did say I had "piqued her interest!"

When she finally did send me her photo she looked pretty cute.  I didn't scare her off with my photo.

But all in all the dialogue was rather - MEH.

"Hey Ryan-
Thanks for sharing all you did, between where you grew up and lived, as well  as your interests in skiing and  cooking, Miami and weekend activities. I decidedly do not have a southern accent.  And my girls, never close to ballet.  Both gravitate to tomboyish, as I do. I've never skiied, and you know how I feel about cooking. I appreciate those who enjoy cooking for sure.

Well not exactly fawning all over me but she did say meeting was up to me so I delayed no further.

We arranged an afternoon to meet at a common restaurant that I enjoy.  I think she appreciated that I picked out a nice place and sent her the menu.

She arrived a few minutes after I did.  I stood in the entrance hall and saw her as she walked past me on the other side of the window as she approached the front door.  It was still warm and she had on a tight button down white shirt and tight black pants.  Alexa is short and not exactly petite but certainly not large.  She is curvy, well let's face it she has a pretty nice "booty."  I'm I allowed to say that in the #metoo era?

I looked into her eyes and she looked into mine and it was as if I instantly understood how two souls could look into the mirror of the Universe and see their match.

Actually not, I looked into her eyes and saw Mrs. Holden, my best friend's mom from grade school.  Yeah, I guess in retrospect Mrs. Holden was kind of hot but I didn't want to have sex with her then I didn't think I wanted to have sex with her now.

But I was all in for lunch so we walked up to the maitre d.  He didn't say anything, stepped away, came back, thumbed through a reservation book, picked up the phone, and made a phone call.  It was kind of rude I thought to myself.  Alexa said, "well, that's mighty rude of him" just loud enough to be heard by those around us.  Me, in my Southern cordiality, couldn't help being a little embarrassed. He was rude, but I exhibit my reaction by not coming back, not by making a scene.  I mean, that's what Shannon would do and I don't need more of that in my life.

This is how I imagine Cecil & Alexa

We finally were seated.  Lunch was nice.  She did go into detail about one of her affairs with Cecil.  Apparently, Cecil is quite the salesmen; very talkative and engaging.  Didn't sound like he was a looker but I guess he was a charmer and a fast talker which I am not.  Based on her description it sounded like they chirped a lot at each other.

As a special the restaurant had a butternut squash soup.  I was not really that interested but Alexa said how much she liked butternut squash soup.  She talked me into trying it.  I am always OK with trying something.  I liked the butternut squash soup, I didn't love it.  It was just good enough to try a few sips and then I was OK.  But Alexa kept asking me if I didn't like it, as if it would be an insult if I didn't.  I felt like I was facing an inquisition from my mom, and I guess Mrs. Holden.  Btw, Mrs. Holden was always one of those moms that tried to pawn off healthy snacks like peanut butter stuffed in celery.  I liked that a little as well, but not a lot!  :)

Seems like I mentioned my friend's sister (Mrs. Holden's daughter) once.  She faked me out, being nerdy in middle school, going off to a service academy for college, and then showing up several years later really hot and divorced a few years after I was already taken.  Sorry, I know I seem to be grumpy today as I ramble.

During the meal Alexa had to take a call from her boss.  By the third call she finally said she had to leave because she had to meet him in Fairfax in an hour.

I took it to mean that this was her friend who was instructed to call her one hour into the date to give her a plausible exit.  Who knows, I guess I could have been offended but like the maitre d I figured I would express my displeasure by not going back.

I walked outside into the sun and I looked over to her as she got into her car.

I couldn't see a cloud in the sky, but I sure could smell the rain.  I decided it was best to get into my car and drive back home to where there wouldn't be any rain any time soon.

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things 5 Dec 2017 4:27 AM (7 years ago)

"Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver-white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things...."

Maria is one of my favorite things!

It's always a great family debate, "why is this song always included among the Pantheon of Christmas tunes?"  It's certainly not what you would call a traditional Christmas Carol.  And by Christmas Carol I mean a tune that Wiki says "whose lyrics are on the theme of Christmas and which is traditionally sung on Christmas itself or during the surrounding holiday season."  A few of my Favorite things surely does not rise up to those carols like Good King Wenceslas or the Holly and the Ivy whose origins can be traced back to the Middle Ages and when Santa Clause was a young stud.  The song got it's original Christmas introduction by being performed by Julie Andrews on the Gary Moore Show Christmas Special in 1961.  So I guess by definition then, because the song is sung around the holidays and talks about snow, by loose correlation it can be deemed a Christmas Carol.  It just goes to show you that if you are consistently complicit enough you will eventually get associated with whatever you are tying to be complicit with.

Anyway, I love this time of year because I get to do so many many of my favorite things.

Which by they way, looking up and retelling useless facts about music is one of my favorite things!

Another one of my favorite things this time of year is the annual Oxford Dictionary "word of the year."  Yes, I admit I am often complicit in all of these annual end of the year events.  Oh wait, complicit is actually this year's word of the year!  :)  Wait that was 2015's word of the year.

Well, I guess that is a good word for me as it's really questionable why I continue to make silly blog posts and continue to log into a ridiculous social media site dedicated to "married dating."  And yet here I am continuing to be complicit to all!!!

Well my other favorite thing to do this time of year is JZ's annual holiday cookie post.

And so to be complicit in choosing to continue to be involved in a few of my favorite things I'll give you a cookie idea from a place I've know for many years and is truly one of my favorite places.

Moravian Cookies

If I was going to accuse smells of being complicit with the Christmas spirit, the following would be at the top of my list:  ginger, cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon.  And where would you find all of those complicit smells?  Well one place is inside of an Old Salem style Moravian cookie!

There is just something about Old Salem, NC and its Moravian roots of brotherhood and peace that makes the area so special at Christmas.  I love the beautiful Moravian Stars, the crisp Carolina pine air, and of course the smell of baking cookies.

So here is how to make those cookies:

Ingredients:

0.5 Cup         Light Brown Sugar
0.75 tsp         Baking Soda
0.5 tsp           Salt
0.75 tsp         Ginger
0.75 tsp         Cloves
0.25 tsp         Nutmeg
0.75 tsp         Cinnamon
0.25 tsp         Allspice
1 Cup            Molasses
0.5 Cup         Shortening
4 Cups           All-Purpose Flour

Instructions:

*     In a medium bowl whisk together the sugar, soda, salt, and all the spices
*     In a medium saucepan heat the molasses just to the boiling point but do not boil (does not take long so don't get involved in a Charley Brown Christmas).
*     Stir in shortening into molasses until perfectly smooth and cool slightly.
*     Transfer molasses and shortening to a mixing bowl and beat in sugar and spice mixture.
*     As you are mixing add small amounts of flour, stirring to combine.  Continue adding flour until mixture becomes a sticky dough texture.
*     Empty dough mixture from bowl onto a well floured counter surface.
*     Knead the flour with hands until dough holds together.  Dough does need to be stiff.
*     Roll dough into a ball and refrigerate until firm.
*     You may wish to wrap dough in plastic so it does not dry out.
*     Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.
*     Cut off portion of dough and roll on floured surface until paper thin.
*     Cut cookies into 2" circles (or your favorite cookie cutter image).  You may need a spatula or even a sharp paring knife to lift cookies off counter and onto baking sheet.
*     Line your baking sheet with parchment paper and place cookies 0.5" apart.
*     Bake 4 minutes; rotate tray and then bake for 2 more.  Allow cookies to cool on tray before you remove.
*     Store cookies in airtight container and they will last for some time, though usually not long enough to go stale as I usually eat them in one sitting!


Here are the rest of those complicit cookie bloggers!







And here is that original Christmas version of Julie Andrews singing My Favorite Things

I Can't Get to Sleep, I Think about the Implications 30 Nov 2017 5:48 PM (7 years ago)

Well the good news today is that I am writing a post which means I survived my bi-annual trip to my in-laws, the DINKS.  I've written about them before (here); DINK's meaning double income, no kids.  This trip was particularly stressful because we were there a full three days.  An overnight at the DINK's is survivable, just like when you get a colonoscopy; you simply need to make sure you are hydrated and you pretty much can survive the 36 hour period with no non-alcoholic infused liquid intake.

Just to explain the DINK's (by definition) don't have kids so they don't live or eat like normal human beings.  Mr. Dink lives off of approximately 3-4 cheese and crackers, micro-brewed IPA's, and small batch artisanal bourbons.  Mrs. Dink lives off leaf lettuce varietals, old world grains, and various nut milks including Cashew, Almond, and free range organic pistachio infused acai coconut water.

To be fair we disrupt their lives by bringing a very scary invasive species into their virgin ecosystem; namely two common teenagers.  The teenagers lie down on couches that are not even supposed to be sat upon, they wipe their face with ornamental towels that are not actually supposed to be used at all, and wash their hands with decorative soaps that you don't actually use.  The teens don't understand stuff you look at but don't touch and the DINK's don't understand being around humans who expect constant service, technology, and nourishment.  Heck, Mr. Dink is not even on Facebook so he has no concept of the need to check Snap Chat every 8.5 seconds!

The mixture of these worlds is difficult at best, dangerous at worst.  Hell, they don't even have cable for Christ Sake.  And that doesn't mean they have like a satellite dish, they actually don't have ESPN. How do you not have ESPN in a first world country.  I couldn't even watch my second favorite college rivalry game on Thanksgiving Night and had to keep track of my idiot Redskins via stats-tracker; in a word I felt violated!  I felt like I was in Antarctica!  I had to make major logistical plans to make sure I would be in a place I could watch Big State U last weekend and had to go through considerable angst when we then determined to watch the game at one of the Dink's favorite pubs. Until I actually saw the game on TV I was sure I would find myself at a wine bar with a jazz band and a pack of 40-something hipsters talking about net-neutrality and their short game.

Yesh!

The first night I woke up around 2 am and my mouth feeling like I had woken up in the Sahara Desert.  I walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.  In a normal human home (or at least mine) you could hydrate with fruit punch, OJ, sweet tea, lemonade, maybe even Kiwi-Strawberry lemonade but bottom line you can go back to sleep with your thirst quenched.  As my eyes blearily perused the refrigerator panic slowly infiltrated my soul.  The refrigerator was completely full yet with nothing a normal human could drink.  There were, as stated above, no less than 4 varieties of organic nut related milk; bleck!  There was enough beer varieties to put an Irish pub to shame.  And yet nothing to actually quench a normal persons thirst.  And then I saw it a small bottle of clear liquid.  WATER!  Yes water, I can drink that!  I grab it and start to twist off the cap.  DAMN!  It's Club Soda.  It's Mr. Dink's club soda he splashes over his small batch artisanal bourbon.  That's not water that's fizzy water that fakes you out, kind of like ocean salt water. OMG, I'm going to die!  I finally had to settle for tap water.  But first I had to gently grab a glass glass to pour the water into.  Who drinks out of a glass glass?  In our home we have all plastic cups, like normal people.  If it drops on the floor, no worries!  At the Dink's, weary and unstable from dehydration, I have to gently handle a glass from the 1998 Kiwanis Golf Scramble, knowing it simply can't be dropped and broken as that is the one Mr. Dink won the closest to the hole competition.

Also disturbing was the presence of the Thanksgiving bird sitting uncovered in the fridge wilting from dehydration just like me.  I walked away somewhat hydrated by lukewarm tap water but couldn't help but worry about what that dry old turkey would taste like tomorrow.

Btw, Shannon and I are both pretty good cooks having both served in the hospitality industry for many years.  In spite of our differences, in the kitchen we are a power couple churning out food like a well oiled machine.  But that bird was not bound to be well oiled, it was likely to be as dry as my tongue.

On Thanksgiving Day after a long walk I broke down and found an open grocery store and brought home enough hydration to get through the rest of the weekend for myself and the teens.  To my teens delight I even found Cheer Wine, a delicacy hard to enjoy when outside the Carolinas.  But when I got home I saw the trepidation in my teens eyes.  I asked what's wrong?  Apparently Ms. Dink had been seen with Brussel Sprouts!  Brussel sprouts ain't for Thanksgiving!  My daughter mumbled "I just want the regular Thanksgiving stuff like turkey and potatoes and green beans..... I don't want anything organic."

Thankfully the meal ended up OK.  Ms. Dink basted the turkey in garlic butter and it was fine.  The brussel sprouts ended up as a salad which I tasted and survived.  Dessert, OK as well; though I have to admit enjoying the frustration Ms. Dink exhibited after thrice failing at her home made chocolate tart dough; not understanding the concept of flouring the table to roll your crust.

I know I'm a jerk, but when you can't watch the State-UNC game you take entertainment where you can get it.

Friday, I did convince the group to go out and see a live college basketball game which gave me the opportunity to load up on needed sustenance from the vegetable, starch, and processed cheese food groups with a large popcorn and nachos and cheese from the concessions stand.  For a moment I felt like a married man again!

Oh speaking of married.  Over dinner the married Dink's asked about Christmas.  They were looking into treating each other to a spa weekend in Sonoma and asked what we were doing.  Shannon and I mentioned that we were considering buying for one another a sexy stainless steel refrigerator washing machine combo!  Yes the contrast is pervasive.

Oh well, I'm not such a good house guess myself.  I don't start drinking until 5 pm and I don't know when or why you would use a 5 wood vs a long iron.  Anyway, I gleefully made everyone stay to the last second of my favorite college rivalry game, merrily watching to the bitter end Big State U's gazilianth straight #ss kicking of Pompous Preppy U.

And now I'm home and comfortable and glad I don't have to venture back into the desert until well after the rainy season.  I'm sure the Dink's were happy when we left, able to get back to their novels, golf game, and aroma therapy.

Ooh woo, I'm a Rebel Just for Kicks 31 Oct 2017 4:25 PM (7 years ago)

"let me kick if like it's 1986...."

Wow have I been enjoying that "Feel it Still" song by Portugal the Man on my daughters terrestrial current music stations.  It's a really groovy retro break from all the crappy rap talking about how many millions the dude has in his bank account.  And who knew there was more to Wasilla, Alaska than our own favorite retro Tea Party politician Sara Palin (yes, that is where Portugal the Man is from)!  Reminds me when we thought crazy people only ran for VP.  The song really does feel like one of those old Phil Specter "wall of sound" songs.  I guess given all the harassment going around I shouldn't be talking about him either.  I mean who knows who might be hacking this and get offended by me and I'd have to render a public coming out and apology.  Kind of makes you just want to stay and home and curl up in a ball in bed with a cat.


But you know I can never do that can I.

I mentioned last month that I was back on AM just for kicks and to finish out my last credits.  I wrote to Ms. INTJ (Alexa) but she opened my note and then promptly shut down her account.  Disappointment for sure because I wrote such a great note, you know.  Well the next day I open up my mischief e-mail and see "AlexaBell is interested in you...."

I opened my AM and Alexa had written the following note back:










OMG, "exclamation points," she is definitely "effing" with me, I love it!!!  How is that for over exclamating!  :)


Just an FYI, I realize that ryanbeaumontregularguy is certainly not a tip of the hat to REM, my favorite band; but I'm sharing my mischief e-mail here any more than I would share my blogger e-mail with an AM lady.



Hmm, that's pretty cool that you're interested in hearing all about my day. Is this normally how you are or unusual, wanting to know all about my day, that is? 

And You Can Feel it All Around You, but it's Something You Just Can't Touch 30 Sep 2017 5:22 AM (7 years ago)

Brett Favre, Muhammad Ali, Dirty Dancing - Havana Nights, Vanilla Ice, Van Halen....., sometime you should really know when to quit.  But you keep thinking, I still have a few more credits why not try a few more times and try to recapture that past glory.  So recently I've been scrolling through those 40-something profiles within 50 miles and looking for a lady between 5' and 5'10" that has written something "not canned" and does not have a profile photo in a bikini and makes no mention of wanting to have a "sausage party," or have a profile name like CumNGetit, all indications of an on-line host.  As an aside, with my new sign-ons to AM I sure have become popular in China, everyday some K-pop looking chic winks at me and sometimes they even send me a cherry imogi gift.  Who knew!?

But seriously I do have a few credits and just like Brett I can't walk away from that urge to throw one more TD pass.  So I continue to look for interesting ladies.

The other night it came down to three ladies.  One seemed very sweet, with a fogged picture of a brunette that appeared to be your third grade teacher.  All she wrote was "I'm looking for a man who can offer me the passion and excitement that is missing from my marriage," with no checks.  That just looked like a host with carpal tunnel and can't write anymore (seriously AM got a lawsuit once from a host who sued from getting carpal tunnel).  A 50 year that is 5'2" and 115 looked very interesting particularly given that she's into "daring rendezvous" and has 17 checks for "looks better in person!"  That has to be a slam dunk, right?!  But then again who wants sloppy 18ths on "pursues fantasies" and "salacious!"

So I settled on Alexa.  Here is Alexa's profile (slightly modified to protect the guilty).  I thought she was pretty interesting and who can resist the same Meyers-Briggs personality type as Jane Austen!  I speak Meyers-Briggs and happen to be, on some non-social days, an INTJ; except when I'm more in my Ryan personality and then I'm more ENTJ.  Anyway, she was too much of a challenge to pass up.  My note is below.  I thought it was pretty good!

Member Feedback:

 (0) gives good chat

 (0) pursues fantasies

 (0) worth the time

 (0) better in person

 (0) hot to trot

 (0) salacious

 (0) better over time

 (0) keeps promises

 (0) popular

Here is my note to Alexa:


Wow Alexa, (Zodiac sign) and INTJ I feel like I need to write to myself. So what would turn me on in a note, let me think....? Oh wait you don't want arrogant and conceited. That's good because its really about how we feel together in that certain moment. Sure I'm confident but I'm confident enough to go on the journey side by side making sure each is equally fascinated by the trip.

So Ms INTJ did they tell you in school it's lonely at the top as an INTJ. Good to have someone to walk along side you that is as imaginative and thoughtful; and likes to be precise with plans. How's that for a run on sentence with WAY more than two words. So how about a walk at Great Falls and some wine tasting at a spot where we can discuss the change of seasons, your thoughts on Balanchine vs Vaganova, or even how the Nats will do in the playoffs and be back in time to beat rush hour. I'm balanced and precise that way!


I have a BS in Business, a Minor in English, and an MBA so I'm fairly thoughtful unless you are a *** grad and then my degrees from Big State U make me somewhat lacking in cognitive sophistication. But at least I can be self deprecating and funny!

So please take a few of your 2,000 available characters to tell me what inspires you so I can be a good listener!

And even though I'm an INTJ as well you don't have to just stick to the 5W's and H and just the facts, maam!

Take Care and have a great evening!

R


Well the next day I got two messages from AM in my in-box, YEAH!  But when I checked closer one was "priority message opened" and the other was "key access request."  Wow, Ms. INTJ, such mixed messages; I thought us INTJ's were all about "fish or cut bait."  OK, OK, so I sent her my private photos; all classy mind you!  No, chesty mirror shots, and private parts.  My favorite is me in front of the alligators at Disney!  Yes I think it says daring with enough liquidity to afford a pricey vacation as well!  :)

Unfortunately an hour later she pulled her profile.  DANG!

Or did I miss again
I think I missed again, oh
Oh, I missed again, oh
I think I missed again, oh......


Note:   As of this morning she is back on line but now do I spend another $79 to follow up????

It's Been the Same Way for Years, We Need to Change.... 30 Aug 2017 5:17 AM (7 years ago)

"Are you sure Hank done it this way" is a 1975 song originally performed by one of my country favs Waylon Jennings.  Waylon was part of the "Outlaw Country" movement of the 1970's, a somewhat "raw" return to roots country and away from the cross-over Country-politan Nashville sounds of the late 1960's.  The song references "rhinestone suits" and "new shiny cars" as ostentatious overtures to pop-culture by country artists and asks for a return to the true purpose of the country troubadour.

The other week Donald Trump, our President, conducted a grotesque and brutish press conference in his Trump tower New York home.  He made overtures to the South, taking on the role of protector of heritage.  He defended the iconography of Southern heritage through the use of monuments dedicated to Confederate generals.  In the aftermath many said this was the speech he had been wanting to give.  This was his statement to the liberal elite and the political correctness police to go shove it and let those Southerners determine how they remember their past and how they chart our future.

And so I'll write the post I've been wanting to write for some time.

Before I do though let me lay some groundwork.  As Southerners go I'm about as Southern as you can get.  I have to be careful now so I don't "out" myself but who cares, this is my Trump moment.  My parents are from, my extended family is from, and I was born into what many have called the most Southern place in America.  No, not Key West, we are talking philosophically!  One of the great southern college sports fields is even named after a distant relative.  I didn't grow up in that most southern place, my parents moved to another state also in the south.  If my birth state is the most southern place in American, the state I grew up in was the epicenter of the Civil War and birthplace of so many of those Confederate icons.

So let's just say I have a lot more reason to be desirous of expressing my southern heritage.  And for many years I would have said the playing of "Dixie" at Ole Miss football games, Colonel Rebel as the Ole Miss mascot, waving the Confederate flag were all expressions of love of home and heritage and had nothing to do with hate.

But time passes and we reflect and we take stock in our heritage and the icons that represent that heritage and perhaps more importantly how my icons affect others and finally if the positives I get from my icons are worth the mental costs borne by others as I express my heritage.  Wow, long sentence to say is it really necessary to fly the Confederate flag when we know it's offensive to others!

So here are my few thoughts on the subject and be wary, sometimes I am contrarian in expressing a point.

First, if you are a fan of the Confederacy I would say that you are probably a fan of "state rights."  After all, all those neo-rebels love to say the Civil War was not about slavery it was about states rights.  Not sure if I agree but for the moment I'll give you that.  So if you are for states rights why are you marching in protest of a freely elected town council voting to preserve self-determination and taking down a Confederate statue.  I mean that is kind of flawed logic isn't it? If you want to keep the statue of Robert E. Lee in Charlottsville then move to Charlottsville, run and get elected to town council, and make a motion to put the statue back up.  Otherwise are you not like one of those dastardly Yankee carpet-baggers Southerners so despise?!

Second, what is up with all these Confederate generals?  I have to admit I'm a bit luke-warm about uniformly taking down monuments to Robert E. Lee.  He had a very successful pre-Civl War career as an army officer and Commandant of West Point.  His post-bellum career was also of merit as he was the President of the prestigious Washington College, later becoming Washington and Lee University; a very fine institution in the Old Dominion.  I also always find myself admiring Stonewall Jackson and other Confederate officers for their military acumen.  That being said I find to hard to figure out why there would be riots when New Orleans determines to take down a statue of Confederate General PGT Beauregard, a rather mediocre general who gained fame with rather hallow military victories at Ft. Sumpter and First Manassas but had rather large losses at Shiloh and Corinth.  I mean I love his name Pierre Gustave Toutant-Beauregard and he had two hot wives Marie Antoinette Laure Villere and Marguerite Carolin Deslonde but I think having Beignets at Toutants is a more reasonable preservation of his memory than a statue.  You say you would like to have a statue of Confederate President Jefferson Davis?  You do realize he was a miserable failure as a President and one of the key reasons the South lost the war.  His inability to control his government and his incessant poorly executed micro-managment of the war have always been identified as key reasons for Southern failure.  Nathan Beford Forrest?  I love his most famous quote "get there fustest with the mostest" but other than that he founded the KKK and allowed the massacre of Union troops at Ft. Pillow.  Hardly someone to admire.

Bottom line, statues to Confederate generals really does not pass the historical smell test.

But we all still need a symbol of our heritage right?  And lacking other things isn't that old Southern flag the reasonable icon of our love of the south?

Well thirdly, not really.  See the "rebel flag" if you will was never the flag of the Confederacy.  That stars and bars confederate flag was actually the battle flag of the Army of Northern Virginia and used throughout much of the war.  Elements of that flag were picked up on later flags of the Confederacy (after 1863).  Btw, the Confederacy lasted four years and had three official flags; I mean can you make up your mind?  The flag was also sometimes used by the Confederate navy.

Bottom line, that "rebel flag" that people proclaim to be heritage really only represented a portion of the South and was only in use for four years of the south.

You know now that I think of it I have Spanish and Scottish Southern heritage.  Spanish exploration of the south began in the 16th century making our collective (in addition to Native American) Southern heritage about 500 years old.  But let's factor that down to the American South which of course starts around 1776.  That means that "rebel flag" people want to use as our "icon" represents about 2.9% of the American South experience.

OK, here is my contrarian viewpoint.  Here are some very Southern things that in official public use have lasted longer than the Confederate flag:

*     Biscuits are probably the most southern food in the world.  They evolved from Scottish scones.  The biscuit (or quick bread) as we know it today was formulated into it's identifiable form in the mid-19th century.  This makes the biscuit about 150 years old and occupying 62.5% of Southern American history.
*     Pecan pie has origins going back to Native American history in the south.  After European settlement pecan pie were made with eggs, butter, honey, molasses, and other natural sweeteners.  The pecan pie we know of today is from a recipe developed by the Karo Syrup company as a way to sell more syrup.  That recipe was developed in the 1930's making pecan pie 87 year old and representing 36% of Southern American history.
*     Nothing is more Southern than Southeastern Conference football!  The SEC was formed in 1933 making it 84 years old and representing 35% of Southern American history.  If you want to support the South say "roll tide," "hold that tiger," or "rim ram, flim flam, Ole Miss by Dam."
*     Finally, Elvis Presley lived to the age of 42 representing 17.5% of Southern history.  Who is more revered in the South than Elvis?  Who made the South more cool than Elvis?  The answer is nobody, nobody in the South was ever more cool than Elvis.

So by my calculations any of these Southern icons are much better representation of my Southern heritage than the "rebel flag."  My reverence for Southern heritage is based on the great Southern work ethic.  My pride is in the great cuisine based on the fusion of French, Spanish, African, and Native American foods that formulate Cajun, Creole, Carolina Low Country foods.  I love that the South (with Memphis as the epicenter) gave birth to rock and roll when the blues fused with Southern gospel and folk music.  These are things I can revere that don't hurt others and make them feel excluded.

Like Waylon's song, I'm not sure all those great Southerners ever really thought we should use "rebel flags" in the way so many people are doing now days.  I'm quite sure George and Thomas and even Robert "never done it that way!"

So many things to love about the South that have nothing to do with slavery, with oppression, and about someone preserving their heritage at the detriment to others.

I say give it up and move forward.  We as Southerners have a lot to be prideful of, we don't need to attach hate to that pride and we certainly can include everyone in our love of the south.

And with that in mind here is my icon of heritage and flag of the South!  And Donald you can keep your Yankee opinions about my South locked up in your tower in New York!

Here is another great interpretation of Southern heritage by another Southern populist like me.

It Took an Awful Lot of Trouble Just to Make Me Understand 31 Jul 2017 6:58 AM (7 years ago)

The Firm was a mid to late '80's super-group formed by friends Jimmy Page (of Led Zeppelin guitar fame) and Paul Rodgers (from Free and Bad Company who performed on the Led Zep able).  They only produced two albums but they were awesome.  They were a wonderful blend of 70's power rock blended with 80's synth and productions sensibilities.  They did evoke images of that 80's wonderment of teen angst amid the backdrop of those odd times just before the world turned 'round with the Berlin Wall, the internet, and cable news.  The challenges before seem so tame now, but at the time they were enormous and the Firm helped to articulate.

The words above are from the song "Satisfaction Guaranteed" but as we know satisfaction is never guaranteed is it?

Shannon was my "it" girl in high school.  No, not that Shannon; this Shannon.  I wrote about her once before.

I think the fact that I have always had a penchant for infatuation led to my lack of luck with girls in high school.  The real foolish part was my lack of luck was not from lack of opportunity it was from a ridiculous sense of determination towards a particular individual who had my attention at that time.  I think now we call it "creeper," I prefer to call it loyalty!  :)

I guess even today I have a problem with getting attached to someone and not being able to see the forest from the trees.  It's probably why I have stuck with my current Shannon well past the point any normal person would.  HS Shannon was not necessarily the prettiest and certainly not the most popular.  Well she was very pretty but not what you would call "traditionally" hot or even sexy.  She was thin, demure, and somewhat diminutive (though more thin than short as she is of average height).  She perhaps looked a little like that brunette singer from Banarama.  Like those Banarama singers your eyes tended to first focus on the blondes but the more you looked at the brunette (Keren Woodward) the more you realized how gorgeous she was and how much she was the most attractive in the group.

Shannon was always sort of adjacent to my friend groups.  I always had a feeling she liked me through middle and early high school.  I never acted on anything until one day early in my senior year I realized she was beautiful.  I remember slow dancing with her at the firm after game "hop" in high school.  She smelled so good and her body felt perfect.  I talked with her most of the night and the vibes felt good.  I was pretty sure I would ask her out very soon.  We had a few classes together and we often talked, she was very easy to talk too.  However, once I started to "like" it seemed more difficult and forced.  It was me not her!

As has always been my penchant I hesitated.  That hesitancy cost me.  A buddy of mine asked her out.  He was a real "it" guy; blonde/blue eyed, in a band, great personality.....  It was pretty much over, they dated for the better part of the year.

Did I tell you Shannon had about four friends all of whom were perfectly attractive by any normal person's standards and all of whom were purported to be interested in me (but reliable high school sources).  Late in the year things between Shannon and her beau were getting diced, I had hopes.  At each party I went to in spite of knowing there were possibilities I held onto the hope that Shannon one day would be my girl.

Friend 1, Anita (one of Shannon's friends) was supposedly interested in me.  At a mid-winter party I talked to her throughout the evening.  She is very nice (and brilliant btw, has become VERY successful in life).  I didn't make a move; she got drunk and was making out with another guy by the end of the night.  Strike one for Ryan.  But I was still saving myself for Shannon.

Friend 2, Lucy is one of the sweetest people I've ever know.  We remained friends through college as we both went to Big State U, hung out at the same frats, and are still friends on Facebook.  Lucy has beautiful eyes and has always been so easy to talk too; perpetually happy and good natured.  Personality-wise I could not have been with a more perfect person.  But every time I was with Lucy, Shannon was close by.  And for that I could never get my mind off Shannon.

Friend 4, Evie is gorgeous by today's global standards.  I think she was of Iranian heritage with cafe au lait skin but with firey red hair.  She was tall and had a great figure.  If I met her today I would not shun temptation.  But my high school self did not quit know what to feel, failing to traditionalism.  I never pressed though those same purported high school sources said she was interested in me.

Did I tell you all these girls were all in the "smart classes" and have all since become very successful?

Friend 5, Marcie was probably the most interested in me.  I remember senior week at the beach walking with her along the beach at night and talking to her for probably hours.  Stupid me didn't make a move; I was thinking about Shannon back in the room on the other side of the Dunes.  I did make out with Marcie later at a party.  But to her credit I think she figured out that I was settling and just wanted any action I could get.  She made an opportune exit and nothing really happened beyond that.

That same night I walked on the beach with Marcie our big party ended up "partying" beyond daybreak.  I woke up in the car back in front of our hotel.  I remembered very little beyond that walk and talk with Marcie.  My friends told me that later that night Shannon and I connected and we had sex.  At least four of my friends corroborated the story.  I really didn't know what to think.  I was suspicious but I was anxious to be in Shannon's presence to assess the validity of the story.  Of course I soon found out it was B/S, my friends were playing a joke.

I know it's awful; I deserved so much better.  Then again I once was part of a team of pranksters who handcuffed my drunk friend and painted lipstick all over his face and then dumped him in his yard.  No, I deserved the prank as much as the next idiot friend from our group.

Shannon and I never did have sex, we never even kissed.   I continued to see her over the next summer and into college. Once a friend of mine and I stopped by an intimate "parent-away-for-the-weekend-party" at Marcie's house where Shannon and Friends 1-5 were present.  It was a gold mine!  Two guys, five girls how can you not get laid!  I found a way not too because I was there for Shannon.  She knew it and all her friends knew it.

Well, I'm not sure what the moral of this story is other than it's the end of the month and I need a post.  Perhaps it's that persistence may pay in a broad sense but rarely for a specific instance.  As much as I always like to say persistence and tenacity eats efficiency for lunch I'd say flexibility eats persistence for dinner when it comes to women.

I guess that's my story for the day and I'm sticking with it.

Now here is some great '80s music, enjoy!  And now I'm wondering if I take Shannon to Depeche Mode at Verizon Center will she think I'm the best!   :)

No New Tale to Tell 30 Jun 2017 9:05 AM (7 years ago)

You know summer is always the best time of year and its really been where I've had all my success on AM.  I met Alecia in May, Sandra in July, and Sandee in August.  So as the heat of summer comes over the Valley I get a little nostagic itch to see if I still have that same old Ryan message magic.  AM is a new game with a lot of new ladies in town, could they would they respond to an old Ryan or perhaps could we find a new Ryan.  Only time and about 25 credits will tell.  The amount of credits would be the amount that I have still on account across my two AM accounts.

So maybe just for the hay of it and to generate some final blog posts before I fade away to the dark web, I'll send some notes out to the AM world each month over the next few and lets see what happens.  I'll give you a little perspective, for what it worth, on what catches my eye.

To start out let's start with a note I've already written (as I'm usually writing about past events anyway).

PotomacDesires surprised me with an unsolicited note last month.  No, a wink from a 30-something lady is nothing new; probably an on-line host.  But she was "attached," didn't have a photo on her profile (bikinis on boats usually means host), was not ridiculously proportioned (e.g. not 5'10" and 110 pounds, again that typically means host or fishing), and actually had some feedback check marks that included the always important "better in person!"

Well I didn't think about it much at first, I'm in semi-retirement.  But then wait!  OMG, she has shared private photos!  I click, hmmmm...., interesting.  Shower image, a little cleavage, a little "cheeky" if you know what I mean but not overtly sexual.  I've gotten those overtly sexual private photos before, very good indication of somebody fishing for video sex/chat.  This seems plausible and overall a somewhat interesting profile though a bit brief.  Humble, again nothing screaming "online host."

OH, and she had looked at my profile.  Never write anyone who has not looked at your profile, even if they have winked or favorited, or sent you a big cherry gift. In fact if they do send you a gift don't write.  No woman who actually wants to meet a man is going to send a "virtual" cherry to some 40's something random guy on a social network!

Anyway here is PotomacDesires:

• Age: 33 (Aries)
• Location: **********, Maryland, United States
• Height: 5'4" (163cm)
• Weight: 140 lbs (64kg) - Average/medium
• Languages Spoken: English
• My Limits: Whatever Excites Me
• Status: Attached Female seeking Males
• Gender: Female
• Ethnicity: Caucasian (white)
• Smoking Habits: Never

 (0) gives good chat

 (1) pursues fantasies

 (0) worth the time

 (1) better in person

 (1) hot to trot

 (1) salacious

 (0) better over time

 (0) keeps promises

 (0) popular

Well, I thought; what the heck, what's 5 credits among friends.  So I drafted my first note in a LONG, Long, long, time......





Eh, not so bad for being out of practice.  Who knows?

As in the past any style critics are invited and appreciated!  :)




Member Feedback:

Days in the Sun 31 May 2017 7:42 AM (7 years ago)

"Days in the Sun will return
We must believe as lovers do
that days in the sun
will come shining through...."





My mom passed away unexpectedly five months ago.  She didn't suffer from what I could tell and for that I feel a subtle peace.  Many have said, with consoling words, it was good that way.  I have seen friends who have struggled as their loved ones have passed away slowly and it is a lingering pain for all.  I am glad we did not go through that.  And yet for us there has been the lingering slow denouement of her life.  The final scene is next week when we close on her house.  There is a paradox of relief balanced with the sadness that this is a part of our life that is now concluding.

Preparing for this has been the main aspect of my life these past five months.  I've not seen much of the gym or Sandee; certainly no Ashley Madison (probably a good thing) and very little time to blog.  Rather, each day the words of that song chime in my head as I remember the peace that her home has given me over the past several years.  I move a sleeper sofa and I remember the night we were snowed in and I watched Ella Enchanted with my girls and ate popcorn in front of the TV on that very spot.  I move the grill and remember all the peaceful Sunday afternoons I spent cooking out, sipping on a Yingling, and keeping track of the NASCAR race or perhaps the Redskin's game just inside.

The last five months have had stressful hurdles to move past, the neighborhood memorial where our local friends stopped by to tell us how much they enjoyed her as a neighbor.  It was tough getting the house ready for guests in addition to our own life close by.  We prepared her shrimp creole and in the end had a wonderful time, surprised at how much impact she had had on this community though she only lived her this last decade.  Then there was the memorial back home to plan.  I drove down two days ahead and completed final arrangements.  Again, stress then alleviated by the joy of seeing so many friends.  As we moved past winter the house had to be made ready for sale.  Much cleaning and organizing, a yard sale, moving treasured family items to others and to our home.  Then finding an agent and arriving on price and ultimately negotiating with potential buyers.

Through it all she has seemed alive and certainly a presence in our life.  At first it was the cats who had to be fed and taken care of daily; mail that needed to be gathered.  Often it was the flour we didn't need to buy because she had a bag at her house; oh, we don't need to buy Windex she has plenty.  The neighbor needs sheets for their daughter going to college, she has an extra set we can give them.  The tasks so mundane and yet pleasant that her house and yes she was still in our life in some small way.

When her older cat died it was sad but a relief.  The cat who she fed and then took into her home was very happy every time we came down to visit.  He slowly latched onto my daughter and then one day we were able to get him to our house.  Though we already knew him he is now becoming part of our home.

Her best friend came up to pick up some furniture for her son.  We decided to have a final cookout and dinner at her house.  I remembered during the meal to look around the table and take a mental picture for my mind's photo album.  There was happiness and joy around the table and it was good to savior that last hospitable moment in the house.

I moved much of the last furniture a few days ago.  Funny, it reconnected me with Alecia.  One of the families she helps is moving to a new place and has nothing.  I took over two rooms worth of furniture and a kitchen worth of supplies.  It feels good that a new family will sit on that couch in front of that TV and sleep on that bed and keep their clothes in that dresser.

But as I continue to hear that song I realize the melancholy lyrics and chords amplify the loss I feel of her and in the life that is moving on for all of us, the life that my daughters led partially growing up in that house, the meals we had on those Sunday afternoon and holidays, the peaceful times watching Big State U on that big HD TV.  I miss her and I am anxious at how this event has so clearly defined the line of demarcation to this next phase of our life.  I can't believe both of my daughters will be in high school next year and that we are starting to plan for college.  These are exciting times but also pensive and certainly leave me longing (as the song lyrics say) for easier days gone by.  I can't help feel the lifeline of my family's childhood slowly fading as we clear out the final belongings.

I guess in the end, beyond the pictures and the quilts her lingering presence will be a happy cat purring on a bench in front of the upstairs window.  I think she would be happy with that.

Esto Hay Que Tomarlo Sin Ningun Apuro 28 Apr 2017 6:51 AM (8 years ago)

Whatever Gets You through the Night 23 Mar 2017 3:38 PM (8 years ago)

"Whatever gets you through the night" was a John Lennon #1 US single released in 1974, at the time his first as a solo artist.  It's a very snappy happy song with a talk show theme melody and very deep sounding lyrics and yet it really was just Lennon's ode to late night TV and something a tel-evangelist said as Lennon channel surfed through one particular night.  I always find the back story so intriguing, particularly when it's so subtle next to the much more assumed substance.

You know Ashley Madison is kind of like channel surfing to us aimless, fidgety, and restless souls in unresolved circumstances.  And Ashley Madison has certainly gotten me through many nights.

So, "trust me, darlin', come on, listen to me, come on...."

This blog has really been a way for me to express my experiences through musical lyrics.  Mostly the stories drove the narrative and the music illuminated itself to me.  Sometimes I have remembered lyrics that I knew I needed to find a story to match.  On a few occasions that song so intimately married to the story that it truly affected me and created a new relationship for me with that song.

So what follows is not necessarily the posts I feel are the best or even the songs I love best but these are the posts whose song lyrics melted together with the story for me and now have left an indelible mark on my psyche.

Mumbo Jumbo Gooey Gumbo 27 Feb 2017 7:55 AM (8 years ago)

It's All I Can Do to Keep Waiting on You 31 Jan 2017 11:26 AM (8 years ago)

Or the Tenth Good Thing About Sallie

Walking through her house the last few weeks I've come across a certain book left on a desk.  It was not odd to see children's books throughout her home, she was a reading teacher and had the equivalent of a small town library in her house.  But why was this one out, I thought for a moment as I speculated about the theme based on the title.  I finally sat down and read the story and it was as I thought:

From my perspective what the boy comes to realize is that more than anything Barney made him feel loved and supported and his greatest gift was helping the boy grow.

My mother is now with her friends the geese, the birds, the deer, the squirrels, and she lays among the Rhododendron and enjoys the peace of the snow and the sun and the breeze.  I hope that is OK for her, though I know if we missed the spot she would have just said "it's OK, this is fine."

We will come back to visit her for I want her to see the people we have become, the women my girls, who she helped raise will become.  I think we are going to be OK and a lot of that is due to her.  And that's a pretty nice thing to have accomplished in life.

Oh, It's a Yum-Yummy World Made for Sweathearts 7 Dec 2016 12:00 AM (8 years ago)

I've been doing this blog for six years now (more to come later on that) and I can honestly tell you the thing I look most forward to every year is the annual cookie post Jz puts together.  I love food and I love cool people and this is a great group of people to have a big old group sex blog/baking party with.  Ahh, if only we could get together in person and grease up each other, I mean grease pans together and bake cookies!

You know I love to use lyrics for my post titles.  For four cookie posts I used lyrics to the Cookie Song from Sesame street, because I get most of my intellect from children's TV shows!  I'm proud to say I got 4 years worth of lyric titles off a song with 26 words - that takes a particularly creative lack of creativity I think!  :)

Here are my past Cookie Project Posts:

Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Year 5

This year I'm combining two things I love, cake and the lovely Shenandoah Valley.  Just in case you thought this was a cookie post you were right, I rarely follow directions on this project and did not again this year; thus a cake recipe.  But I think it makes for a lovely holiday addition for dessert or as a breakfast side or just something to have around to munch throughout the day.

Btw, the Shenandoah Valley is very near and dear to my heart - here is my post about the lovely Shenandoah Valley from some time ago!

So again, sorry for not following directions and not posting a cookie recipe and sorry for making you have a Blue-(berry) Christmas!


Shenandoah Valley Blueberry Cake

Note:  this recipe actually comes from Charlottsville, VA which strangely is not in the Shenandoah Valley, rather just on the other side of Afton Mountain (of the Blue Ridge Mountains) from the Shenandoah Valley.  In fact it's really in a perpendicular valley that forms from the James River running East towards Richmond and onto the Chesapeake Bay.  But who reads this for geography!?

Ingredients:

*     1.67 Cups, all-purpose flour
*     1.5 tsp, baking powder
*     0.25 tsp, salt
*     0.33 Cups, butter softened
*     0.75 Cups, sugar
*     2 Tbs, sugar
*     1 egg
*     0.33 Cup, milk
*     1 Cup, fresh blueberries

Directions:

*     Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees
*     Generously grease a 9" square or round baking pan; any leftover grease you can use on your partner, this recipe goes great with sex!
*     Combine flour, baking powder, and salt in small bowl and stir with a fork to mix well
*     Combine butter and 0.75 Cups of sugar in medium bowl and whip w/mixer on high until well mixed. Kind of like giving your partner a light hearted tap to the rear; friendly but not mean spirited!
*     Add egg to sugar and butter mixture and beat well for 2 minutes; stopping occasionally to scrape bowl.  Continue until mixture is smooth and light, kind of like that sweaty glean you get to your body mid-sex!
*     Stir half of flour and milk into sugar/butter mixture, keeping batter smooth and well combined
*     Add remaining flour and milk, mixing gently until well combined.
*     Wash and strain blueberries; you want them clean (no dirt) but don't let them squirt their juice yet!
*     Add blueberries into batter mixture and stir gently until combined (do not over-stir); again, no squirting
*     Scrape batter into greased pan.  Any leftover batter can be applied to yourself or your partner and delicately licked off!
*     Bake for 30 minutes or until cake is golden on top and springs back when touched gently, kind of like the feel you get when you are behind!  :)

And while you are baking listen to this great Christmas classic by Dean and Frank!

It's the End of the World as We Know It 30 Nov 2016 5:33 PM (8 years ago)