I have an interesting angle to look at the world our children are growing up in these days. I am a mother of a second and a third grader as well as a kindergarten teacher. I see children all day long. I see life through the eyes of my sons, my students, my colleagues, the parents and the community. I see life.
I sit back and watch. I listen. I learn.
Here's what I see... we are teaching our children the wrong things, and saying we are doing it for them, to help their confidence, to help their self-esteem. But let me tell you something... we aren't!
What are we teaching a child when you tell them they did a great job, but they didn't even try their hardest?
What are we showing a child when we do every task for them, from homework, to tying shoes, to projects, to standing up for themselves?
What are we telling a child when you reward them at home because they didn't get rewarded at school and other children did?
What are we telling a child when you complain to the school because you didn't like the grade your child received even if it was the grade your child earned?
What are we showing a child when we reward them for participating, will we have to reward them for waking up? for eating their dinner? why reward people for doing what they are expected to do?
What are we teaching a child when you blame the teacher for a mistake your child or another child made?
What are we showing a child when every child makes the team, get the medal, wins the prize?
I want my sons to try their best. I want them to realize they can't always be the best. I want them to own up to their mistakes. To do what is expected... because it is expected. I want them to see that they are not perfect... that no one is perfect.
So often I see children who are afraid to try. They are afraid to fail. They do not know how to try. They do not know how to live without someone helping them. I hear more I can'ts in my room than ever and when I say try, they look at me with helpless looks. As a society we are enabling children. We are telling them it's ok you don't have to do this because it's hard. Let me tell you... life is hard. We need to teach children to deal with challenges not run away from them. We need to teach them that they are not perfect. You will not always get an A, or even a B. You will not always succeed. But, you need to hold your head up high, admit that you tried and next time try harder. We need to show children that we make mistakes. That we aren't perfect and that it is OK.
So next time you go to do something to make it all better... think about what you are teaching your child... and think about it from all angles. They don't need you to rescue them, they need you to support them as they grow into adults.
I've been blogging in my head all day today. For some reason I just had to type out this post....
Every parent is worried that they aren't doing it right. They seem to feel like other parents get it and they don't. We look at other people and think they have it together, or they don't. We think their children are better than our... or worse. We judge each other, lets admit it. But, what we need to look at is why we are different.
I know that when I think about the choices we make with our children it is based on three main ideas... are they safe, does it help them become productive adults, and does it keep me sane? Yes you read that last one correctly.
Let me give you some examples. I let my children help in the kitchen all the time. Now I will not let them turn on the stove because they can't safely reach the controls, but I will let them stir pots, flip quesadillas, drop pasta or other things with my supervision. Both of the boys also know how to use knives, but can only use them at the kitchen table at dinner or with permission on the cutting board. I've set up parameters to keep them safe, but they are learning self help skills that will help them when they are adults.
Bedtime is one of those areas that people judge others on. My boys at the ages of 9 and 7 go to bed between 7:15-7:30 most nights. I know a lot of people who feel this is way to early. I also know others who feel that children should not have bedtimes. So why do my children go to be at the time they do? My boys get up at 6:30am on school days. Children at this age range need 10-11 hours of sleep each night. I feel bedtimes routines are important throughout life. I still have a bedtime routine. I want my sons to understand the importance of sleep and they they can settle themselves down to sleep with their routines. Now, do my children stay up late from time to time... yes. Do they skip parts of their routine at times... yes. But, can they go right back into their routine and go to sleep... yep.
The last part is my sanity... by having the kids in the kitchen with me they have time to talk to me, to learn life skills and I can keep an eye on them. Bedtime is more of a for my sanity thing. When I know they are going to bed at a certain time I know I will have time to get things done, to relax and settle down myself before bed. I know I won't be fighting with an overtired cranky child.
So next time you are judging a parent on why they are doing something remember you don't know what motivates them to make the decisions they do. Maybe that parent who is giving in and buying the screaming child the treat he want is motivated by not being embarrassed or is motivated by the child's happiness? Maybe the mother who is losing her temper with a child is motivated by the child's compliance or has already lost her sanity that day.
The point is... all parents feel like they aren't right, so don't judge them because they are different.
Looking back on my life summer has had so many different meanings in my life.
When I was a child: I remember summer being a time of freedom. Staying up late, playing outside, waiting for the ice cream truck. It meant bike riding, swimming and making up games with friends. It meant getting up early and staying out until the street lights came on. We went to soccer camp, community boating, and participated in other camps.
When I was a teenager: summer meant being able to work more to make more money. It meant going to the beach and movies with friends.
Summer means a break from reality.
When I was single and a teacher: summer was a time to take courses. It was a time to pick up summer school if I wanted or do nothing at all. It was a time to change gears and then prepare for my next batch of kindergartners.
When I first became a mother: summer meant less time outside and more time to be creative. Summer with little ones in Florida means cooling off in the baby pool with a Popsicle. As the boys grew it meant swimming lessons, playing sports and keeping busy.
When I became a mother to school age children: summer meant keeping busy, finding camps for the kids and fitting in the fun. Summer is a time to watch movies during the day just because. Summer means $1 movies, trips to the library, and baking together.
Now that I am a mother of school age children and a teacher again: summer is bittersweet. It reminds me of my days as a stay-at-home mom. I am able to be with the boys all day... which is a challenge some days. We try to do a lot together during the summer. But summers also means the boys come with me to set up my classroom.
It means thinking about getting them ready for school and myself as well. I have said this year I will not go into work until August. So we go to the $1 movie, go to the library, to to Walt Disney World, make puzzles, watch movies, play outside, play in the pool and just hang out. There are more laughs and more frustrations, but I love my summers with my boys.
So what does summer mean to me? It means I get to be with my boys, to reconnect and just be.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/slices/heartbreaking-video-shows-how-technology-addiction-changing-childhood#A5l3Iff0GBL5GFlg.01
Over the years, I've thought about screen time a lot. I have two sons, they love technology. I have a husband who works in the computer industry. We have computers, tablets, cellphones, tvs, mp3 players.... but, we also have books, board games, puzzles, arts and craft items, and so much more.
When we go to the pediatrician one of the first things she asks me is how much screen time do the boys get on a regular basis. My answer, less than most. During the school year, they do not get technology during the school week, unless it is something they need for a project. We then also limit it on the weekend. Even during the summer we limit it.
As a teacher, we are pushed to have the kids use more and more technology during their learning. For me this is a double edged sword. I understand that there is so much we can do with technology, but isn't it more important for children to explore knowledge than to watch it? Wouldn't it be better to have them watch a real caterpillar change into a butterfly than see it on the screen? Isn't it better to use multilink cubes to learn to add than use a computer program? Is it better to have an actual book to hold in their hands than watch a book read on the computer? Don't get me wrong, I think there needs to be a balance.
Balance... that seems to be what is missing or skewed. Why are people allowing their children to sit and use technology for hours on hours? I am amazed every year by the number of children who have never played an actual board game. The number of parents who say they can't find time to read, but then hear the child talking about playing this game or that game on their tablet. My children read all the time. They read before bed, they read in the car, they read in their rooms. They also play with toys, the play board games, they play sports, they play.
We don't know the effects that this increased screened time will have on children, on generations, on our future. Think about what you loved doing as a child... is your child doing anything like this? If not... why?
Ok the fun of getting the Stitch Fix box doesn't wear off the second time. I was so excited to see the box arrive and open it up. My stylists Sarah did a great job yet again. I really like the personal note and attention to detail. She mentioned my blog post and pinterest board. She also referenced pins in relation to some of the articles of clothing she included.
This time in my Stitch Fix box, I received one dress, two shirts, a pair of pants and necklace. (all of these pictures are straight off camera.... I really should be editing, but didn't feel like it, sorry!)
I saw Stitch Fix on Facebook. Now, I either love to shop or hate to shop... depends on who I'm shopping for. I love to pick things up for the house, for the boys, even for my husband, buttt shopping for myself, no thanks!
When I saw Stitch Fix I was intrigued. You go onto their site and fill out a questionnaire. This deals with everything from height/weight, size of clothes you wear to the type of pants you like. Then it shows you combinations of clothes in that fit certain style trends. These include Bohemian, casual chic, classic, edgy, glamours, preppy and romantic. You rank them by from love it to hate it. You then tell them everything from the color and type of jewelry you like, to the color and patterns of clothes you prefer. They encourage you to set up a Pinterest board to show them more of my style.
So I filled out my profile. Set up my Pinterest board, and scheduled a shipment. The box came 2 days earlier than they predicted (a good sign in my book).
You can't always win, and you won't always lose! This is something I say to my sons all the time. I don't lose on purpose. I'm not over competitive, but I want the boys to learn to be a good loser. So many times children only get to win. They get a trophy for participating. They say everyone is a winner, but that isn't how life works. My children learn about sportsmanship. They learn to be a good winner and a good loser. They learn that they can be happy when they earn the win (in a game, a sport, in life... doesn't matter). They also know what it feels like to be on the other side of that. To see the over celebration. To feel the disappointment. To feel like they will never win.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again! This is the other mantra my sons learned early. It applies to everything from falling off your bike, to getting a bad grade on a test, to losing a game. Winners never quit and quitters never win. (Yep, I love my expressions) When we tell children that everyone is a winner, that everyone deserves a trophy... they don't know how to handle defeat. They don't know how to handle a loss.
Are we creating a generation of quitters? It's too hard... I can't do it the first time so I quit. Are we raising a generation of children who feel they deserve to win even when they don't? Is this what we want for their future?
So the next time your child loses, don't reward them... remind them it's ok to lose. Help them find motivation to try again and maybe next time they won't win, but I bet they will do better! Andddd be proud of themselves for trying again.
If you ask me what kind of parent I am, I'd say a loving one. But, many people (including my sons at time) would say I'm a mean parent. I am a parent. I am not my children's friend. I parent in a way that I feel is best for my sons. My husband and I are on the same page about a lot of things, but we too parent differently. And, if you ask me... that is a good thing!
So what makes me a mean parent to some? My sons have a bedtime, and one that many would say is too early. We maintain bedtime year round in my house. The boys start bedtime around 6:45 and lights out is usually 7:30pm. Now that does not mean that they never stay up late, but if we are home at that time, they are in bed.
I limit the amount of screen time my children get AND what they can do. During the school year, the boys only get screen time if needed for school work. On the weekend, we try to limit it to about 1 hour a day. And yes, I mean screen time that is both tv and internet based technology. My boys watch a lot of sports, they have never seen a pg13 movie, The games they play have to be approved by my husband or I.
My children are expected to do chores without getting paid (I do pay them for bonus chores). In the summer they have increased chores that they get paid for, but during the school year they do not get paid.
My children have to save money to buy things they want. They do not expect to get things when we go to the store, but they hardly ever do. I keep an accounting of the money they earn through their summer chores and they can spend that as well as tooth fairy money and money they get for holidays/birthdays.
So why so strict? Why not give in time to time? It's not who I am. It's not how I parent. Is it the right way to parent... for my family yes. For your family it may not. I so often see parents compare themselves to other parents. I don't. I don't care how you choose to parent, unless how you parent interferes with the development of my children... why should I care? You choose what works best for you, you choose what works best for your children. You don't have to parent like me, but don't judge me for how I choose to parent... and I won't judge you.
Jumping back into teaching after taking time off to be a stay-at-home mom was hard. I'm glad I did it. I always thought I was a pretty good teacher, and tried to be the best I could for the class I was dealing with at the moment.
I'm one of those teachers who never teaches the same thing the same way twice. I change things up depending on the students in my class, the mood the day, the way my day is going and any other variable that could alter the effect of the lesson. I have never been a text book teacher in any sense of the term. When I taught K I never used my text book... shhhh! Ok, I read the stories from the reading series,but that's about it. Now in 1st I do use it more, but I've always said that a textbook is a tool, not a toolbox. You can't find everything you need in the textbook. Some of my best lessons have been planned on the spot. I know shock and horror... you are supposed to carefully plan out every lesson and decide what questions to ask and how the students should answer them ahead of time. That's not me... I'm not that teacher.
I love to let the children come up with the questions. I love for them to interact with each other and for me to be there to guide them if needed.
For example, today I presented my class with the project of turning an animal into a super hero. I introduced a template to assist them in writing a 5 paragraph essay.. yep you read that right. Ok the paragraphs may have only had 3-5 sentences, but hey it's a process. Each child had to draw a picture of thier hero. In the template they told: how it got it's powers, what the powers were, and how it helped the world. The students then wrote the essay (ok these aren't done yet, but hey we are working on it). They also used pattern blocks (we are learning about plane shapes in math right now) to create their hero and then graphed the number of shapes they used. I took a picture of their hero and will print them out. I will then post their organizer, story, illustration, picture and graph in the hallway. I gave them the suggestion, the tools to complete the assignment and then let them work. And guess what... they had fun doing it. They interacted with each other. They challenged each other. They asked for help only when needed. They learned, and isn't that what my job is about?
When did I plan this? Ummm yesterday when I was trying to think of a narrative writing assignment is when I came up with the idea of the super hero story. Today while setting up for Wacky Wednesday I planned the rest. Yep on the fly is how I play.
I was first exposed to "common core math" when Blake was in kindergarten. At that time I was perplexed with the new math, but not upset. When he was in first grade I was a bit more apprehensive of the "new way" of thinking. But, we trudged along and I realized that for Blake the traditional way of math did not make the most sense to him.
Fast forward to this year. Blake is in second grade and I'm teaching first grade. I had a light bulb go off one day while teaching.... common core math is mental math on paper. When we as adults do math in our heads we short cut it. Well we are teaching the kids these short cuts, they just do it on paper or with manipulatives instead of in their head.
For example, if I was to ask you to solve 37+53 in your head, would you say 7+3 is ten... carry the one 3+5+1 is 9. ok then put the 9 here and put the zero here? Probably not. You might say 30+50 is 80. 7+3 is 10. 10+80 is 90. Or you may start with the 7+3 is then and then say 30+50+10 is 90. Remember this is all done in your head. We don't always think about doing these steps.
When we make change you start with the smaller number and build up to the bigger one... even though making change is subtracting.
We as adults look for patterns in math... that is why we teach kids to make 10s, learn their double facts, how to see the addition fact in a subtraction problem, and find patterns on 100s boards.
I often hear people talking about not having 100s boards to carry around. Well, you don't carry around base 10 blocks, a number line, cubes or any other strategy that we are teaching now or have taught for the last 20 years to early math learners. These are just ways to see the process while learning.
I can tell you as a teacher I have very few kids who do not comfortably use 2 or more of the strategies we teach. One of the first thing we also talk about is the need to learn the basic facts (addition and subtraction of numbers 0-20). Again this helps with the mental math aspect.
I feel that if more people stop and look at what this math strategy is teaching and stop just saying it's not the way I learned... you may see that it is trying to help children not fear math. There is more than one way to solve it.... what works best for you? How did you solve it? What will you try next time?
I am start to feel like I've found my groove. I still haven't got a true grasp of what is next and where I'm going but I've found my groove as a teacher and that is a big part of being a good teacher. I can look week to week where I need to go, but if I don't have a groove in the class, I can't get there.
I find myself a more playful teacher than when I left. I can joke with the kids and then go on with what I need to teach. I am enjoying the fact that I can say take out your whiteboard and let's do this instead of always having to have a paper pencil task to show learning. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the kids on the computers to do both the math and reading programs and not have them miss key learning. This is especially difficult with my struggling learners who need more small group instruction to grasp basic concepts, but still need these computer programs to help them progress at their ability level. How to fit it all in... well I'll figure that out.
Its sort of like trying to figure out how to get all my teaching things done and all the mommy things done all in the same time frame. This weekend I didn't feel as hurried to get stuff done around the house. I guess I'm starting to find my groove in all aspects of life... maybe
I got into my classroom for the first time today. Just getting there was a joy,... not! I had to jump through all the bureaucratic hoops of a first year teacher, even though I was teaching last spring and did a lot of those things then.
Today I got my bulletin boards started, straightened out some stuff and a few other things. I have never set up a first grade classroom. I don't have all my stuff moved into my room... and I've never set up at room with a 7 and 6 year old "helping". I felt like it took three times as long to do anything today. I'm not going to go over board so I have place to put more stuff up as the year goes on, or that's what I'm telling myself anyway.
Have you started redesigning your rooms? Do you create theme for your room or just do a hodgepodge of whatever? I'll share more info about what I'm doing soon.
Ok, I know I haven't posted on my blog in an eon. And, I know that for the most part my most recent posts with links to my TPT store. But, life has changed. Blake is going into 2nd grade and Colby is going into 1st. In March, I went back to work. I taught 3rd grade for the rest of the school year. And, on Aug. 18th have my first first day of school since 2005. I'm going to be a first grade teacher this go round.
I'm excited to get back into the classroom. To try out a new grade and the fun new adventures I will find. So, I'm back to share my adventures as a Teacher Turned Mommy Turned Teacher again. I hope you enjoy hearing about the things that happen in my classroom and of course with the boys.
Can't wait to hear from you all again. (o:
As a kindergarten teacher we understand that even when children can count, that does not necessarily mean they know their numbers. So often people focus on counting and numeral recognition, but true number sense is key to a child understanding addition, subtraction and anything else that deals with numbers.
As teachers we try to find a variety of ways to help children understand what the number means. They have to understand that 1 seed and 1 elephant are both one even though an elephant is bigger than a seed. They need to understand that 6 cubes stuck together and 6 cubes taken apart are the same (conservation of number). Children also need to understand that 6 is greater than 3 because there are more items in a group of 6 than a group of 3. Children need to be able to recognize common configurations of numbers such as the dots on a domino or number cube.
Children need to develop all of theses skills with the numbers 0-10 before they could ever understand that the number 14 is made of 1 ten and 4 ones.
As teachers we use tools such a ten frames, tally marks, cube trains, base ten blocks and so much more to help children understand number. This kit that I created allows the students to "play" with one number at a time. They work on recognizing the numeral, the number work, what it looks like on a domino, with number cubes, using tally marks. There is also the opportunity to work on what does it look like on a clock.
I hope you check out my kit, Kindergarten Number Book, on Teachers Pay Teachers and see if it would help your students record their knowledge of this topic.
Check out Teachers Pay Teachers for fun ideas created by teachers for teacher. Here is a link to my creative writing kit for K, 1st or 2nd graders.
This fun kit has writing prompts for each month of the school year. Each prompt has the start of a narrative writing project for your students.
August: The best book I read this summer was... I liked it because...
September: My tree is called.... It is unique because
October: I've created the best candy bar ever! You should try it because...
November: If I planned dinner tonight, I'd serve...
December: Now that I live in a snow globe, I can...
January: I lost my mitten in the.... My mitten is now home to...
February: I turned 100 today! Do you remember the time I...
March: If I could slide down a rainbow...
April: If I could fly on a kite, I would go...
May: I planted a garden today. This is what I did...
June: When I entered the Sand Castle Contest, I won! That's because I built...
These can be used in the classroom or could be sent home as family projects. The would then make great bulletin board projects (o:
Recently I posted about a new kit for Teachers Pay Teachers called Question of the Day. I have created a supplimental kit called Question of the Day Holiday and Seasonal Questions.
The original kit contains 184 generic questions that can be used at any time during the year. The new kit has questions that are more specific to the holiday and seasons. If you purchase both kits you would then have 216 ready to use questions.
These questions include first day of school, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Valentines day and many more.
Make sure you check out both kits.
When I was a kindergarten teacher, there were a few routine items that I used every day of every year. I always believed, and still do, that routines are vital for children's adaption to change and life in general.
One routine I had was Question of the Day. I utlized a pocket chart for mine, but that was in the days before the really nice projectors, smartboards and all that new fangled technology. After the children put away their stuff, they would read and answer the question of the day. This was a simple two choice question such as Are you wearing blue jeans?, Did you have a good weekend? Would you rather eat plain or peanut M&M's.
Once the group gathered together for meeting time we would re-read the question as a group, and go over the answers. This was a quick reading and math activity that engaged the learner, let them learn a bit about each other and start out day off learning.
I have created a kit for Teachers Pay Teachers, that has typed up 182 generic questions, I'm going to create a holiday/seasonal kit seprately. These can be printed out and done on a bulletin board, shown on your projector or just read aloud and done whole group. This would be a great jump start to any preK, kindergarten or first grade classroom day.
The whole kit of 184 pages (182 questions, cover and blank template) is $7. Check it out on my Teachers Pay Teachers Page.
I seem to have more and more conversations with people about what time my kids go to sleep lately. People are usually shocked to find out that my 6 and 5 year olds go to bed between 7 and 7:30 even in the summer. When I say they go to bed at that time that is after the whole bedtime rountine... that is lights out time.
As a teacher over the years I so often found children in my classes who were over tired. I'd ask them what time they went to sleep and I'd hear 9pm, 10pm, whenever I fall asleep. I always believed there was a strong link between being overtired and the ability to function in school. Not just academically, but also socially. The children who went to bed before 8pm were more alert, more tolerant of peer behavior and more accepting of changes.
Think about yourself as an adult. When do you function best, for me it is when I get a good night sleep and wake up well rested. As adults we don't get this as often as we'd like, and often wish we could sleep more, so why not provide that feeling for your child?
My sons are very active, intelligent boys. But trust me they are very much boys. Both the boys gave up napping at a very young age, so they had to have an early bedtime. I recognized that they would get tired and therefor get grumpy, so how do you solve that... put them to bed so they can get a large chunk of sleep.
When you look at the amount of sleep children need, as seen here on WebMd, my sons need 10-12 hours of sleep, even if you put Blake in the next catagory of 7-12 year olds he still needs 10-11 hours. If he needs to get up at 7:15 to get ready for school then he can't be going to sleep at 9pm and getting the sleep he needs.
I know a lot of parents do not agree with this theory of mine. I'd rather put them to bed and fight this then deal with grumpy misbehaving children the next day. And there is now more research out there that agrees with this. They are finding that there maybe a link between sleep deprivation and people diagnosed with ADHD. (Diagnosing the Wrong Disorder) Focusing, functioning, remembering details, being able to attend to task... these are the signs of both sleep issues and ADHD.
For me, I'd rather put my boys to bed early and know they get a good night sleep then have these issues... what about you?
Did you read my last post, Drink Upcharge for Milk? I did contact McDonalds with this concern. I'm not sure they actually answered my question/concern. But, I'll let you be the judge...
Here is my post to them:
I recently stopped at a McDonalds in Cooper City FL. My two sons (5 and 7) ordered Happy Meals. My younger son got a cheeseburger Happy Meal with a white milk. My older son got a chicken nugget Mighty Meal with chocolate milk.
When I looked at the bill I was shocked to see a "drink upcharge". We were charged an extra $0.40 for the white milk and an extra $0.39 for the chocolate milk. When I looked at the menu it said the Happy Meal comes with the choice of milk, juice or soda. No where does it mention an addition charge for milk on the menu. False advertising?
I did not question management over paying $0.79 (we did not notice until we were nearly done with our meal). I can certainly afford it, but there are lots of parents who could not afford that extra expense. I find it sad that you try to show yourself as an establishment who understands the nutritional demands of parents, and yet you are now charging extra for the healthier drinks?
I can tell you this, the next time I take the boys out for a quick bite... I will think twice about where I spend that extra $0.79, and the rest of the money that goes with it.
A copy of the receipt can be seen here:
http://teacherturnedmommy.
Here is their reply:
Ok, I know you are asking... why is she showing up a reciept. I'll tell you. On Sunday we were down near Richard's family and out visiting his grandmother. We were running late for lunch and decided we'd splurge and get McDonalds. Now I'm not a super health conscious person, but we eat healthy when possible so going to McDonalds is a treat not an every week/month thing. When we go out to each the boys know to order milk/chocolate milk/lemonade or water. At McDonalds Colby always gets white milk and Blake gets Chocolate milk. Ok we order and don't even think of anything. Then as we are leaving I glance at the reciept.... and I notice there is a "drink upcharge" they charged $0.39 more for the chocolate milk and $0.40 more for the white milk.
Here is what it says on their web site that you get for Colby's Happy Meal: A delicious cheeseburger with kids sized world famous fries, apple slices and your choice of fat free chocolate milk, low fat white milk or apple juice.
Here is what it says on their web site that you get for Blake's Mighty Kids Meal: Six tender Chicken McNuggets made with white meat and comes with small size world famous fries, apple slices and your choice of fat free chocolate milk, low fat white milk or apple juice
I thought McDonalds was trying to appear to encourage healthier eating? So why are you charging me an "drink upcharge" for the healthy drink instead of soda?
I know that $0.79 is not a lot of money, but when it is supposed to be part of the package, I don't want to pay extra... am I wrong??