a tour 24 Sep 2019 6:57 AM (5 years ago)
nicely ambidextrous
it starts with the flight
that interminable darkness with all the movies on the back of the seats
the smell of the aircraft food and walking around in the darkness
im already tired after we’ve flown the first inch but I cling on
crying my eyes out at stupid films I wouldn’t normally give the time of day
my back in shoulders ache wanting to stretch out my legs
blah blah we arrive in Hong Kong and negotiating all that
how do I know which frickin train to get on n off on
then the flight from Hong Kong to london
it lasts forever and another few minutes more than that
but the month the year the years are flying by fast as fast can be
one moment I was a kid waiting outside the school for my mother to get me
next minute im on a fucking plane
its god knows what time
I guess im over Mongolia or something
im so old im so tired im so weary
im crammed into my seat in the middle row
no aisle no nothing
the food is ok but I gotta sit there looking at all the other food thats coming too
finally I arrive in England
and a guy picks me up at airport
and drives me out to Amandas in the south west of England
it takes a couple of hours
im ecstatic to be off the plane
and we talk about Boris and Brexit and ww2
as we zoom thru the soft grey drizzle of 2nd of September
when I get to Amandas I seem to get jet lag for about a week
and I just sleep on and on and on
I wake up occasionally to stumble round the village and in the woods
its early autumn
we stop and eat blackberries but not all of em are that sweet
sometimes we rehearse the songs and run thru our paces
but mostly I seem to sleep
I miss my sea pool in Sydney and its rejuvenating qualities
after about 2 weeks Trevor turns up in the van
one sunny morning and we are off n running
down the M( insert number here )
the blur begins
the British motor services with all the cafes and little casinos
and every moto-place in Britain has a special on kids wetsuits
the endless coffees and almond chai lattes
the endless veggie burgers
the endless GPS telling ya where to go
Trevor has to miss a few gigs and I have to drive myself
if theres a way of making a wrong turn then I will do that
I get real unlucky in Edinburgh where the traffic is a bitch
round n round n round
till Ali jumps in the van and shows me where to make the illegal u-turn to get to gig
its murder out there folks
we already did this in the western states of the US but the cities there are easier to navigate
Edinburghs traffic is like a buddhist koan to be penetrated
I try not to lose the plot
its a herculean task all of it
carrying in the stuff
setting it all up
the long soundchecks trying to figure out how to make it sound ok
everyplace different every crew is different
every hotel is different
where do you park?
wheres the key?
wheres my reservation?
the music goes by in a dream
the time on stage which is time in a dream
the strumming guitar
the rippling and pounding piano
the old voice still sometimes surprisingly strong
I mean where is it all coming from?
some nights we hit some lovely things
the audiences were warm and kind
afterwards ya sign stuff then trudge all the gear out and drive away
more GPS malarky maybe or smooth sailing
we talk about the gig
yeah it was good
one morning you wake up n its today
Amanda flew off to Washington DC to play with the P Furs
im here at Heathrow in a day room or something
my flight is still a long ways off
being slightly on the spectrum I guess as you’d say
I suddenly miss being part of something and having a mission
and I feel becalmed in a room at the airport Ibis hotel
all that sound and fury of the tour
did it signify anything ..?
the people and the places and the wild blackberries
now I sit type type type
a truly gloomy room I will leave soon and go to the airport
my flight aint for hours but what can ya do?
adios amigos
see you soon hah!!
UK tour 2019 9 Sep 2019 11:14 PM (5 years ago)
still me
you may or may have not noticed that im doing a little uk tour
I will be appearing on the 12 string and vocals
accompanied by my friend Amanda Kramer
who is as you can imagine a very good pianist
most of you know the piano is my favourite instrument
we like the way the piano and 12 string sound together
and sometimes but not always we have produced heavenly overtones
we play the songs we like to play
well you can well imagine and its silly to spell it out
its September and its England
I guess there is some melancholy inherent there
at the end of the day
a song for our supper sir
can I get it without the goat cheese..?
well I think they’re unclean animals…
then I remember
im still me I say to all the ugly mirrors on the congested m5
nonetheless despite all that we will be good
the hammers will fall the resonating strings
we tell the stories of some different men
wow what a tortuous path that has been
a voice in another room : oh man you joking me what a doddle
no one can agree least of all me
I find myself here a bunch of songs
hey somewhere I learned to sing I did a deal
you know I always play F maj 7th
words swirl out of the air and form in my throat
I don’t remember it it has to unfurl
the last bit leads to the next bit
oh for a long time ive been a sorta minstrel
yeah we charmed kings outta prisons
and we blew the blues in piss-ups in breweries
its one thing to do this with a big old loud band
I wake up and im standing alone
but theres a piano playing I guess
im singing im walking around oh im living these songs now
I can’t tell the difference
we play em in LA
we play em in Portland
we play em in Sydney where the larks sobbed overhead at such sweet sounds
I lost my temper in Antarctica and I hurled my blonde guild into the churning sea
becalmed in the tropics we began again on uke and xylophone
the sailors begged us to play on
maybe I dreamed this part up
in the cabin with yellow light
words were filling my head full of song
then I was just a kid
I didn’t want to have to write songs all the time
it seriously got in the way of stuff
its like this black steinway upright its full of music
its like a guitar case from another time that you thought you lost
its like the fog you plunge into sometimes
you walk along in England
Amanda says hey they will have vegan burgers here
my accent makes people laugh ha ha
but I like that I like to make em smile
yes thats how I talk its all mixed up I suppose
yes please can you leave off the cucumber and mustard
later on I play my guitar its a real beauty
I always had a 12 string guitar you know
on all my earliest demos and for baby grand I had my 12 string
there was no six string acoustic there was only 12
I always play 12 I just realised that
im sitting here outside bath
typing at my laptop in the kitchen
an explanation or forthcoming preview for my uk tour
the sun shines in briefly
its introspection of the worst sort
I smoke hash gloomily deeply plumbing all my lives
I emerge from the reverie still thumping at the keys with my one finger
yeah we jump in a van with our instruments
we turn up and play songs
we drive off to somewhere else
somewhere there is a sweet spot
the words the notes the sounds align
thats it
what is it?
I dunno but thats it
thats what I do and its brief sometimes
its hard to catch
maybe it doesn’t exist
voice in another room : you gotta be listening for it
yeah nobody knows what music is or what songs mean
if they tell ya that then you know its a lie
im just a humble song stitcher you never heard of me
I never existed except for a moment
I was too tired to say goodbye
the final notes are still hanging in the air
its all a dream from here on in
the bongos and the tambourines were fading
we were bumping in the gear up the stairs and it was cold
I was shaking hands with a fan as the snow started to swirl
be careful he says into eternity
dad appears and says well I like the piano
she can really play can’t she…he says
mum: I wish you’d kept up your piano lessons son
dad : its a proper instrument not like a guitar
im having an English dream
the accomodation is a cold cave and its run by a guy
who has hitched 2 giant turtles to a sled and now it pulls him around his island
he charges the tourists for a ride
but im staying here for free on the cold floor because he likes my song
voice in another room : no one knows what music is
I turn left at York and I decelerate as we ease into Brahms
my guitar strap has mosaics that tell the future and I stare into them
its frightening to realise all the latent songs in my guitar
it fucking dwarfs and wearies me
Trev :Steve theres a Starbucks in 15 miles just outside Luton
a smattering of applause
I think about neil young as I crunch alongside a silent canal
the leaves are curling up and I forgot the words to some songs I just wrote
damn that
the mic is not working
im still back at the garage with my malteasers and my Union Jack mug
my guitar is over the misty coast of Albany hovering in tuneful stasis
damp mornings come and go
the piano sounds like a zephyr sweeping through the reeds
it ripples across the landscape and is gone
you stand in its wake at the crossroads where some 2 bit devil is doing some deals
hes got an umbrella and hes smoking a benson and hedges
onstage is a dream it became indescribable
it rolls out
there it goes
I stand back
the long black road
you count to 10 then you open the door
on the other side is now
now now now
you better pick yourself up
dust yourself down
and figure it out all over again
a guide to gods 26 Aug 2019 3:53 AM (5 years ago)
hello him
deities for dummies
Greek Pantheon
*Zeus the big boss
god of thunder and dalliances with mortal women in disguise
like a lotta powerful alpha male types Zeus is often henpecked by his jealous wife
and is pulled around by his daughter
hes kinda analogous to the christian god Jehovah
he gets really upset about stuff he shoulda seen coming
given his omnipotence and all
hes kinda middle-aged but hes still totally the kingpin
but gets angry and confused by all the idiots he has to work with
hes a bit proud and does not like to be slighted
*his missus is of course Hera who is goddess of marriage among other things
which must be frustrating as Zeus is chasing a lot of crumpet around
she’s a nasty vengeful type if you happen to fuck her over or slight her in some way
she’s not afraid to pester her husband about stuff sometimes nepotistic stuff at that too
she got the memory of an elephant and will never forget a grudge
and she got the connections to bring any enemy down good
*Poseidon is another angry bastard
god of the sea and of horses
I think basically he wants Zeus’ gig and is fed up with the sea
another vengeful type hes got lots of nasty ways of killing people up his sleeve
and sometimes he likes to just mess about with your head
when he could just kill ya pow!
hes middle-aged too and and got some wild sons like the cyclops
he can change his mind pretty easily too
sometimes it seems he wants everyone to lose…
*hades
god of the underworld and the dead
an old miserable rich devil
he fucking hates his job but hes comfortably numb
don’t ask him for a favour
everything has a string attached with this guy
he kidnapped a young starlet goddess called Persephone
but he lets her visit her mother whom is the Earth itself Demeter
who later started a healthy brand of bread
Hades is his name and Hades is his neighbourhood
he doesn’t say much
* Apollo wow forever a golden youth
god of archery and medicine and music
doesn’t mind raining his arrows down on the clowns who offend him
if you desecrate his temple or mess with his priestesses
man you gonna feel a plague-tipped bolt right in your backside as you flee screaming
running from the far sighted archer
still… having invented music and medicine hes allowed the odd angry massacre you would think
his twin sister is
*Artemis
she’s a virgin and she likes hunting animals
she pretty much keeps her head down
and would rather take down a stag with her bow than get involved with all the bull that goes on up at Mt Olympus
where most of the other gods hang out or talk about what the mortals are doing these days
*Aphrodite of course everyone knows she’s the goddess of love love love
she’s a fucking honey and you know it
come on there is no woman like Aphrodite and she is sexy as all hell
she’s a bit of a dumb blonde tho and easily led astray as well as leading others astray
she’s good to have on your side if you wanna date the most beautiful women in the ancient world
( oh man can you imagine them..?)
but not much chop in a battle and not much good at coming up with ideas
her boyfriend is
Ares god of war
a bit of a cowardly custard he causes wars but doesn’t dig fighting much himself
hes a cold hearted SOB but he knows a cracker when he sees one whom is his squeeze Aphrodite
*Hermes
hes the messenger and he is one fucking mercurial cat
he darts through space and time with his winged sandals
which are probably aerodynamically impossible
he is pretty random too
he likes magicians and travellers
hes a bit of joker and is always a grinning beautiful teenager
auspicious if ya got him on yer side
*Athena
goddess of wisdom and stuff like that
although she’s always working her own agenda with her little favourites
and using logic to befuddle her daddy Zeus who can never say no to her
just like all fathers with their daughters…
she sprang right out of his head one day
she is literally a chip off the old block
she’s pretty clever and rational mostly
she thinks Aphrodite is a bimbo and a joke
but Athena is a bit judgemental like that
if she was a politician she’d be a conservative
Norse Pantheon:the Aesir
Odin was the Scandi equivalent of Zeus
but there the comparison ends
Odin does not chase women or fuck about with humans much
hes kinda middle aged tho verging on old but still as powerful as all get out
but hes kinda weary too and fatalistic
he gave one of his eyes for wisdom
and hes a sober grim wise heavy old geezer like Gandalf the Grey or something
hes the all-father and unlike Zeus he has a few nemeses
the frost giants Fenris the wolf the Midgard serpent etc
he knows they’re all gonna wipe each other out at Ragnarok
where everyone will die… good and bad alike
Thor is Odins son and hes a wild brawling old fashioned hero
he didn’t get Odins intelligence but hes a really strong and tough character
he doesn’t have too much to do with humans and not much point in worshipping these guys
in fact they don’t really care if you worship em or not
Thor goes around fighting with the giants and other crazy zany adventures
hes nothing like the guy they got in the current movies
nor is Loki
who is not god of anything but is a total tricky bugger
a bit of a situationist
hes the spanner in the works
and he loves to fuck things up a true Discordian
he loves to take things too far
but he pisses off Thor and does some really evil stuff eventually
which ends up with him suffering an everlasting punishment
with no parole in sight
that im afraid is the extent of it for the Aesir
because all the rest are pretty lifeless and boring
and all the real action is around the good the bad and the ugly
ie O, T and L
Hindu Pantheon
*Vishnu is the main man of the Hindu gods
he expands himself into all the other gods
and he experiences himself and the world as avatars
An avatar is not your picture on social media
an avatar is an extension or incarnation of Vishnu
Like Krishna or Rama
these avatars usually don’t know that they are Vishnu
they appear as half human demi gods to relish material and spiritual existence
they have wives and lots of wives if they want
they do heroic deeds and fight crime and irreligion and nescience
they are handsome rich strong charismatic youthful rockstar gods
like Indian Apollos or Hercules
Krishna in some way is christlike
with a manifesto and with a lotta good advice or as one would say life hacks
he can do whatever he likes hey hes the godhead
unlike the Norse gods the Hindu gods have no real enemies
except the demons who don’t ever stand a chance of mutiny
*Shiva hes the destroyer to Vishnus preserver
but him and Vishnu arent fighting about it
Shiva steps in to wind things up when the fat lady sings at the end of all time
before it call gets rolled out again
Vishnu has created Maya which is illusion
and everyones tangled up in it
Shiva has a son
Ganesha the elephant god
hes a wise jolly reasonable god and quite approachable
he sure likes sweetened milk drinks which explains his weight
he will remove obstacles too so worship him if ya got any
*Kali is one scary mother
good if she’s on yer side but quite a psycho if she’s lost it
she’s got a necklace of skulls and decapitated heads and she’s dancing around
steer clear of her if yer fainthearted
you’re after Aphrodite not her…
Judaeo Christian Pantheon
*Jahweh/Jehovah
by Jove hes a cranky pants god
hes a bit like Poseidon
a nasty customer to tangle with
and very sensitive to criticism
and kinda fickle
he has his favourites and he likes to play around with his human beings
testing em and that kinda thing
(I mean why would you bother..?)
he loses his temper with his creations and nukes cities and drowns worlds
he sends wild bears to tear up rude youths
and lets his fave people run riot in the biblical times
it always seems to go wrong
unlike Zeus and Vishnu but like Odin
Jehovah has an adversary called Lucifer
good loving’ gone bad Lucifer has recruited half the angels
and they got kicked outta heaven
and now they wanna collect human souls
so Jehovah wants human souls and so does Lucifer
but just why that is ive never really figured out
In the end Jehovah will presumably crush Lucifer
but why doesn’t he do us all a favour and just do it now
sometimes they even hang out together to discuss how the game is going
and Lucifer can even goad J. into doing cruel and unusual things to his fave guys
*Jesus Christ is very much like an avatar of Jehovah
in as much as he comes to earth to experience human life and teach the locals
and like Krishna he is not sure exactly who he is
but unlike Krishna who is like a smaller version of Vishnu
Jesus is a much nicer cat than his father
hes a pretty reasonable cooled out man with a new approach
in fact much of what he says is the opposite of what J has said
and he very much was urging to give peace a chance
he only lost his temper a few times and there was not a lot of damage done either
hes got a good way of explaining things
and the way he says stuff goes down well the the ordinary folks
it makes sense
*hes a bit like Buddha
Only Buddha isn’t a god hes just an enlightened guy
who’s jumped off the wheel of endless karma
he goes into nirvana in the end
I dunno what thats like but I wouldn’t mind finding out
the end
synopsis 12 Jun 2019 3:06 AM (5 years ago)
there they are
dad took us to see the film
only there was no real film
oh yes there was a screen
there was a screen with a sort of blurry moving painting
there was a story
but it wasn’t much of a story either
there was no story to be told
but dad said sssh its everyones story
its not my bloody story you whispered under your sweet breath
but then you realised yes it was your story
the story of you and every you ever
a meaningless dreamy miasma of your deepest souled lives
this then was us and everybody there even those not watching the screen
we realise we are not part of this as the audience
the film has jumped out of the screen and included us
thats made me feel strange dad… I said
sssh..! said dad can’t you two be quiet..?
we watch on as the dismal crackly film thing starts up
it is a sour English summer afternoon
only its not England
its somebody idea of England who’s never been there
a stupid made up England
with too much strange vegetation and recorded bird song
and the grey bitter sky for that summer afternoon
as the old professor and black cat trudge along
a lane hemmed in with old bricks bursting with bloom
old weary man his prime long ago carrying his suitcase
seen so much better days in a dreamlike past that never really happened
what did it all mean now..? as he trod the silent road to his next show
the black cat walked along at his side the size of a small panther
she was as tired as her old master too
and she half heartedly chased small woodland creatures away
what is it girl ? the professor would mutter
as they headed deeper into an unwelcoming afternoon
as they walked in a place that had no time
we had no more time now
oh I began to see
its good… dad said to us in a whisper
sssh… said someone behind us
I hope the cat can talk… you said to dad then
maybe she I can I don’t know of course not… said dad
sssh!… said someone in front of us
the old professor
professor of what..? I wondered
professor of something though anyway… the whole audience thought
yes he’s got the old black dusty suit and a crumpled hat
hey you..! I said… give me some of those chocolates..
give him some of the chocolates… dad hissed at you and I smiled
and then
please just watch the bloody film… he implored us
sssssh! said some behind us
oh shuttup.. said dad over his shoulder
meanwhile the old professor and his rather large cat trudged on towards wherever they were going
sometimes it seemed they were on some old train
or riding along on a horse drawn cart
but I rubbed my eyes…
hey wake up! dad said… you’re falling asleep
it didn’t seem to matter if you were awake or asleep for this film anyway
in my day dream I was the old professor and I had been walking along forever
sometimes I grumbled to the cat about things
that last bloody hotel, kitten
they doubled charged us for my tomato soup
I searched through my pockets for money
they were full of strange bits and pieces
little machines and diagrams and yes there was some money
but what a strange faded currency it was
the coins nearly worn smooth
the notes all wrinkled and ripped
who was that sad king staring out in shade of palest grey..?
well how about that..?
one minute im just a boy watching a film
next minute im the old professor walking along with the black cat
as I grumble the cat sits and listens and with her body she indicates agreement or disagreement
when I tell her ive lost my bloody glasses too
she walks away dismissively until groping my forehead oh no ha ha
I had them on all the time
my head is bursting with stuff
all the meaningless blah blah blah of mathematics and literature
all those stupid paintings and symphonies and architectural blueprints
all those flying machines and gas lamps and mechanical squeezers
what did any of it avail him now..?
the black cat the afternoon the road the hedge the wall the puddles
the beginning of a light cold rain
the cat runs into a graveyard at the side of the road
oh no kitten no come out of there… says the old professor
as the cat jumps between the weeds and cracked angels
all the faded names on the broken stones
the names of everyone watching the film
the camera dwells on all the names
how I envy the dead.. someone sighs
someone else says shhhh!
dad squeezed your hand
its only a film.. he said
they walk on down the road as the afternoon never changes
grumble grumble grumble
no they never fixed that hole up did they, kitten…?
and my goodness every time it rained well I got a letter from the library
it said that I never returned that book but I did
look I have the slip in my pocket don’t I …?
they just say anything and expect you to pay don’t they
they must think we were born yesterday.. he said
as he reached into his pockets looking for things
I was sure the film must be nearly over when they finally got to wherever it was they were going
when I thought about it later
I wasn’t sure if it was a stately little castle
or a rowdy inn full of beastly villains
or if it was a door in a tree
but there they were
here they are
no here we are
we sat down at a table and they brought us out some food
yes kitten yes I know you’re hungry too…as I popped a piece of cake into her mouth
the people in that place are weird and frightening dad…you whispered
yes well im sure they are supposed to be…dad whispered back
everyone in the place looked like some kind of animal
there were men who looked like goats and pigs
and disgusting spidery women
and the old lady that looked like a sheep plonked down a mug of dark ale
the old professor lets the black cat lick at the foam
yes yes you were a thirsty little cat weren’t you kitten he mutters
the cat looks up from her lapping
and for a moment her foamy whiskers make the old professor laugh
a laugh which turns into an awful wheezing cough
a big rough looking man with a jutting jaw sits down opposite
I’m you’re fuckin’ ‘ospitality manager he grunts unsmilingly
what animal is he supposed to be…you whispered
a bull I think I said
dad butted in …oh really I thought he was a kind of a camel
we both giggled at this
yet at the moment he just looked like some awful old man
eat your cakes drink your beer and then lets ‘ave some fuckin’ music please squire
the old professor scowled at the man
I certainly hope your piano is in tune sir… the old professor said in his most aloof accent
my fuckin’ piano (he pronounced it piana) is so in tune you won’t fuckin’ believe it.. said the man
anyway we’ve ‘ad much more popular acts play here than you and none of’ ’em complained
oh yes..? I said and the old professor said it at the same time as me
and which acts are you referring to that are more popular than us..?
‘ere you got tickets on yourself ‘avent you..said the man
but last week we had Lucy Crow appearing with the Birches
at this remark the cat hissed
and the old professor said in indignation
but surely sir that act is a juggling act and therefore does not use the piano
I didn’t say they used it..the man said
I said they never complained
there seemed little to be argued about
the old professor was defeated
all this way to be talked to like that …he said to the cat
who blinked her eyes and shook her head in agreement
this crowded miserable inn
in an inn and in and in muttered the old professor
alright he says and where is the artists changing rooms
im afraid the artist changing rooms are under renovation
and therefore you can just go straight on from here…said the man
airs and bloody graces …exclaims the man shaking his big rough head
I give you five minutes and on you go..! the man said and got up and walked away
the old professor sat there glumly sipping at his ale
with his other hand he stroked the cats head
bloody idiots the lot of them, kitten
I blame myself but they’re still all idiots
the black cat did not react but licked her paws and rubbed her face
I told the man who sold us our umbrella and he knew who I was
I mean who I am of course ha ha
his muttered rant is drowned in the din of the inn
but in my mind I can hear his voice go on and on
his list of grievances against the world at large
the price of butter
the shortness of breath
the long wait for summer and then rain
if only I could get properly warm
the damn nettles and the damn little stones in my shoe
and then
and then it was time to go on
a tiny little stage with an upright piano
and crimson worn out curtains
theres a table onstage with some gin and a vase of flowers
the cat sits behind the piano
we can’t see this clearly because of the film
but she can somehow play the piano
and she plays scales up and down and tries out little phrases
but it is the strangest music you have ever heard
I like it… I said
oh I don’t… you said
as the cat played the piano the old professor began to sing
and this was his song
oh snake in a ditch
elusive and rich
the loveliest venom which causes the twitch
and the worm and the toad that goad you to fold
the silence of rats that gnawed in the cold
(at this line the cat did a flourish and growled )
you feathery thing Im standing here singing for you
the blackberries thorns and the bunions and corns
the damp pulse of your heart
the wiry start to your flight
take me to where you hibernate
because im oh so tired and its oh so late
lost in a fog on a dog of an afternoon
(again the cat growled)
I dream of a stream with the life of a bream
close to the earth or deep in the ground
where all truth is to be found
the old professor left off singing and did a little dance
the cat played on with a kind of three four waltz
but the chords were never the ones you were expecting
and I felt breathless trying to keep up with whatever the music was supposed to be
but then you suddenly understood a few seconds later but it was too late
his dance was awkward and weird
he seemed out of sync with himself and the music
the audience cheered and roared and some seemed to turn into the animals they were
the old sheep lady walked around with her tray of beer
and she haggled with the drinkers in her bleating voice
when the song was over the audience exploded into applause
seems the idiots like us… the old professor muttered in the cats ear
she began the second song
oh but it went on for so long and before long I was hypnotised
the croaky voice of the old man
his words about eels and cranes and the rate at which red roses wilt
and the fields and the woods and the biggest city he’d ever seen
trees aflame in arctic nights
and falling stars that shot across your sleepy sky
the wonderful whirl of slumber
the bark of the oak the purr of the fir
the voice of the leaves that says your name in your dream
the song and film suddenly stop
the screen is a black oblong accompanied by the soft whirr of the projector
after about 10 seconds the old professor and the cat appear
the colour is different somehow and they both look a little changed
the old professor strokes the cats head
you’ve been such a good girl… he mumbles as he falls asleep
such a good such a good girl
the cat sits on the bed for awhile
before we see her jump out of the open window onto the rooftops and away
the credits roll
a sad orchestra crackle out a theme
the lights come on
dad just sits there in his seat
oh boy I fell asleep.. he says
it was the morning and they were leaving.. dad said
what happened then..?
we looked at each other
and we turned and followed him out of the cinema
a vagabonds xmas season follies 30 Dec 2018 9:00 PM (6 years ago)
judgement
after the soy turkey is cut and the elderberry juice is put away
me and the twinnies frolicking on a sandbar out in the aqua sea
I have a vodka n orange juice with Adam in the green shade
people everywhere talk talk talk
so many people down at the beach
as the day goes long I fall into my dream
they all say hello to me tho most em aren’t sure who I am
voice in another room: who are you again..?
the water is effervescent and refreshing
eve and aurora are such lovely kids
the wind whistles in my dripping earrings
the sun burns down on pale English skin
ghosts of Christmas pass
if ever a man was drowning on dry land
my mind pulls me under
the universe in a drop of ocean water
life in a tiny second
hey man I met you at the state
some nice bloke with his kids
and you are..? I say
im no-one mate honestly
I look out at the azurest coast
my hourglass daughters patiently tanning in the fading light
merry Christmas
says the bloke and wanders away
so many stupid tattoos everywhere
the sand is soft and warm to my sensitive soles
the dream comes on then
I look around in wonder at it all
the sea the people the red Santa hats
its Christmas in my dreamy old dream
it takes on an anecdotal vignette quality
with everything set to ‘glow’
I musta seen a million Christmases by now
the swirling currents and the salty smell
always the girls lying in the sand and I’m talking to some geezer
the music plays on in my head
rings on in my ears
Christmas on Bondi beach
there is great variety
stunning Adonis youths from some euro winter strut arrogantly
lithe mermaids crash into pasty couch potatoes
the biblical looking guys kicking the balls
their female companions are all manicured n dyed queens of Sheba
I stop for awhile in the shade in a glade off the beach
where the twisted sea trees grow
what do I know
im dreaming it all up in my fevered night
the mosquitos whine
the cockroaches grind
the ants whispering in a procession across the floor
I banged me knee into something in the dark
the serpent in the tree says come hither to me
the leopard in my head says leave em for dead
sleep is elusive for a genius sometimes and for me too
I seep out of myself and rise up through the sky
down on earth my body walks around without a soul
the mind is control
I go into shop and I cop some free sweets from a lolly jar
I meet my friend the rising star he knows who you are
hes on tv a few times a week
down on Neptune street we walk to his flat
he lives with some French chick and her cat
I stand out on that lovely deck and gaze at the cloudy night
its brilliance and stupidity inside of me having a fight
you can see my pool from here a green soft glimmer in the moon
soon midnight has come and gone and the ocean is still
we go to a Christmas party just up the road in Oberon street
its a big house with a lamplit garden with a crowd spilling out of the house
theres loads of famous people here the newsreader and the crims they never catch
theres the guys who plays drums with that big band that comes from overseas
theres that actress star of stage and screen she’s been on holiday in Viet Nam
I am gonna get an introduction i suppose after all she uses my song in one of her shows
some people drinking and jumping in the pool
no im at home in my bed and im sleeping
no now its New Years eve
Coogee is inundated with a million dodgy looking little types
carrying slabs of beer
while all around the signs flash ZERO ALCOHOL
the sea temp is cold
so a thousand tourists sit there not daring to go in
the fireworks tonite yawn
I only liked fireworks when I was lighting em and doing something stupid
but it’ll be same old rockets same old explosion
same old crowd going ooooh ahhhhh
same old claustrophobic being in the middle of a load drunken yobbos
bah fucking humbug again
come on midnight
let all the Hoi Polloi get home safely
until next year
your roving hero and reporter
more Bloggs in 19 4 sure
sjk
31 dec 2018
shot #2 15 Nov 2018 11:07 PM (6 years ago)
neg
when I woke up the air in the caravan was sacredly still
Kathy had slipped outta bed without waking me
it was slightly raining outside
I lay there listening thru my damaged ears
only making out the faintest pitter patter through the ringing on of 5000 gigs
I looked at the objects she had collected from the shoreline
I smiled as I realised the significance of each thing
and why she had chosen this shell from a plethora of shells
why she had picked up that little bit of smooth green glass
she had arranged the objects like a garden on the window sill
god it was still and quiet this morning
in the early morning rain everything was hushed
the sea crashing on the shore muted in the thick rainy air
I sat there eating a bowl of cornflakes with rice milk n Manuka honey
I was in my cut off jeans and t.rex t-shirt
the rain stopped
when I went outside she was sitting in her deck chair reading an old newspaper
ha ha she said i’m reading an interview with this actor
and he’s saying that he’s so happy with his new wife and he thinks this is the one
and it’ll surely last forever..
and..? I said
well they broke up a month after he said all this stuff…she smiled sadly
and tilted her head on one side questioningly before a soft sigh appeared and was gone
she shrugged her shoulders and sorta squinted at me
well..?
we both shook our heads
she was dressed in my white shirt that was old and very big on her
as some crickets started up somewhere in the bush
and a crow called cawing up in the air
next to the beach was a system of little rivulets that we would wander
a helicopter flew overhead momentarily shattering our idyll
the sky was warm and humid and overcast
dreamy dreamy days passing in a watercolour hazy place
the residue of memory other times other places
the sweet snow that falls upon us as you sleep
the startled egrets that suddenly lift
the shadow of remorse that dogs all people not just me n you
we sat on the banks of a stream
it was not possible to know where the sun was in that sky
the nimbus hung down like a cosmic blanket softening everything
the still water was dark occasionally disturbed by some fishes ripple
there were flowers blooming in colours out of a Childs paintbox
there were dragonflies and languid bees
I sat with my arm around her shoulders
her smell was warm and fragrant in the thousand hours of that morning
how you feeling..?
yeah she smiled and tilted her head
as we looked into each others eyes there was an ineffable subtext
her eyes asked my eyes questions
to which my eyes could not lie
she searched my mind for awhile
peering in as our gazes were locked in the thousand seconds of that minute
she rushed into my head and took down everything I had had arranged
a dopey fly landed on my arm and I flicked it away
her smile was a half smile but the eyes were still gazing
we sat on the bank and the soft rain began again
I don’t care she said
its nice isn’t it…I said
yeah its kinda erotic
ha ha
its kinda sensual then
whats the difference between sensual and sensational..?
its both…
ha…
the raindrops were so delicately crafted
they were tiny miniatures of raindrops
and they evaporated and left you kissed but strangely dry
the rain touched us Kathy but it left no trace
we felt no need too talk much it sounded much too loud
I was singing some song to myself
even in my mind I get the words wrong to my songs and everybody elses
it drives people mad but I coddle myself by saying its endearing
I want to dive into your ocean..
at that very moment I knew she completed it in her own mind
is it raining with you..?
we looked at each other
how did you do that..?
we walked away into a field of blackberries
the blackberries were delicious
but oh fuck I got pricked by their nasty thorns like a clumsy bear
the tiny rain fell on n on
the earth received it gratefully
the birds were singing in the close distance
if the world was indeed spinning there was no sense of it here
there was no ulterior motive behind anything
the creatures did their thing
the elements were beautiful exorbitant colours
the sky such a lovely mothering grey
the humans observed as humans were meant to observe
we observe each other
we observe ourselves
we observe our observations of the world
when we went back to the caravan she put bandaids on my leg and fingers
oh my poor man you been in the wars she said from within her permanent dream
we drank a cup of tea and she read the newspaper again
I rolled a joint
the morning stretched out in my imagination
I didn’t ever want to go back to Sydney
it all seemed like another life
in the little caravan by the sea
all those machinations seemed improbable
she knew what I was thinking
and she nodded and smiled and went back to reading
it was only ten o’clock
it would never be yesterday
L’ameriqa 30 Sep 2018 3:36 PM (6 years ago)
64 not out
here I am baby you know where to find me
im back in the USA yeah you gotta be across all that
im in a holiday inn in Long Beach how rocknroll is that?
im playing a rock festival in a few hours oh boy
so old still leading this childish life
hummin’ n a’strummin’ all over gods world
and I like it I like it I like it I like it
here we go o rockin’ all over the world
fuckin’ rock n roll baby hail hail hail
me and my bass yeah
im a dumb ass old rocker going deaf and laying down a riff
starfish the album in its ENTIRE fucking TY
Ploog n Marty long gone I say oh my n a boo hoo
but we got Tim n Haugy n Caino boy those cats sure know how to rock
they make it look easy
thirty years just slipped by in the twinkling of an eye
all that stuff disappeared into times maw
im still here baby rockin n rollin
not yet in ashes or in jail or in some lonely place
still quaffing the applause and drinking limelight juice
still twinkling around that old stagey stage ha ha listen to me
some pale ole Cassius clay spruiking his fading star into the ether
still fuck you’ll miss me when im fucking gone
when I’ve sung UTMW for the final gig n they lay me down in my cheap box
when my voice of ripped velvet is silent
when my nimble fingers are stiff and cold
ha ha ha
no more starfish then
‘less they get a replacement n fuckin carry on with it
good luck to em
and that idiot whoever ever it is replaceth me
good luck old son rock hard and remember to lunge
suffer the slings n arrows of outrageous fortune you ninny
cos being a rocker is the best gig in the world
bar nun
your humble handsome scribe Long Beach cali 30th sept 2018
disambiguation 19 Aug 2018 4:12 AM (6 years ago)
stranded
no alcohol beyond this joint
no curtain to blow
no zephyrs to stack
i chase to the cut
what the fuck is that
kero whack
i’m had a drink
i’m a million feet tall
i’m all over town down at town hall
faster than speed faster than bridges
faster than vista faster than slower
my giddy mind of a whorl
i’m a little girl with a grudge
i’m lower case no punk dew australasian
you don’t know what i don’t know
love in gestation above a stationary moon
the womans voice outside the skin of the night
she calling Steef
Steef are you in there tonight
Steef can I have some water
this sea is too salty to drink I think I oughta go
minerva please stay i’m talking to stone here
she say i’d rather play my song on my own here
I stick on music I tear off some art
I run over a number when 12 oclock start
I feel everything too right down to the darkening
deeper than dna the visitors harkening
my dreaming
steef steef wake up i’m leafing
the starz are freezing steef
yes space is for keeping
yet here you are sleeping
we can see ourselves out
its such a long way home but we get there so quick steef
we get there like magic
we get there by stealth
steef we just disappear here and turn up somewhere else
steef I love you and
look we took something
but we gave something too
you’ll find out one day
thats the least we could do
shot 11 Aug 2018 3:04 AM (6 years ago)
roundup
after the fire had died down and the ashes cease to glow
Sandbar beach is black against a black sea
the horizon cannot be seen there is no moon in the sky
the shells all jostling in the glassy tide
the trees gently wave along the tiny path
I step behind you blindly in the inky air
in the warm night
the silken thread of a dream
your ghostly back in a one piece navy bathing suit
your spine illuminated from some vague internal luminescence
your chakras zinging
the blood moving around inside you red and blue
you unzip the jungle we arrive at your caravan
you never lock the door
you say there is never anyone here
inside you sit at the table
I sprawl on the bed
the trees gently scratch the roof
its so warm so quiet except for the sound of the sea
you drink from a green bottle of cider
its all so quintessentially Australian its almost unbearable
Kathy, you and I, here in this Australia…
this new Australia
you make a cup of tea on the little stove
the billy whistles
liquorice root and honey
two mugs and some ginger biscuits
you sit down on the bed and give me my cup
we sit there in the silence
a comet rushes overhead making no sound
a creature stirs in the bush some nocturnal marsupial climbing a tree
the blood worms corkscrew in the sand
the trees to the tips of their leaves are all conscious
your face so like my own face
your fading tired face Kathy oh how I love it
the years have adorned it with lovely lines
and the colour in your eyes has lightened to a soulful pale
you lie behind me kissing my neck
you call this ‘the soothes’
do you want ‘the soothes’ ..? you’d say
my poor man oh boy he’s had a long day…you’d say…
my poor boy oh man…
you lie behind me whispering things I can’t really hear
the way you’d whisper to a cat or a baby or the way you’d whisper a prayer
the way you’d whisper the names of the devil
or the way you used to whisper the answers during a test in class
the way you’d whisper I love you the first time
the way you’d whisper goodbye the last time
the way our parents whispered when they didn’t want us to hear
Steven are you still awake..?
you were whispering
Kathy i’m here i’m still listening… I say
you talk about the fire on the beach
how those flames roared in the wind..!
how the fire devoured the driftwood and roared for more
armies were marching in the fire on the beach..!
a dog barked miles away in the camping ground
and the wind carried its faint echo to our ears
miles out at sea black whales were moving south seeking cold water
is it too warm for a blanket?
you slipped off your swimsuit and
youre holding me still faintly damp n cool
I’m still fucking tripping..! you said as you wriggled around
me too..! I say and I shudder a little
I’m worn out and I want to go to sleep
we ate and we swam and we fucked on the beach in the black night
we found the wood and we lit the fire
we smoked and we drank and we laughed and we cried
we frightened each other and we begged the other to stop
I kissed her in the darkness and there was nothing to see
her mouth was a portal to some place warm where I felt safe
we sat crosslegged in our bathers as the fire raged in the Australian night
there was no one for miles
the salt had dried on our skins
I could not remember my name
my heart glowed within my chest
where we touched there was an electric blue line
you giggled gleefully like a naughty child as the flames danced and disappeared
and then reappeared from the blackness with a rip
as the fire sank low you lay across my lap and dug your brown fingers into the white sand
there was a splash in the lagoon
a white thin bird arose from its nest with a mournful cry
and we could hear its wings beating in the wild night
out to sea there…a boat..!
no its gone again…
I carry your towel
oh well you are just too kind…you say
yeah sure ha ha
we both laugh
not gonna chuck in the fucking towel just yet…
more ha ha-ing
frogs and insects all start up somewhere out there
the night is alive
our love is deep
the world is enormous yet contained for all of that
darling
you say
one day tell me what happened with those tiny white scars on your back…
yes
I say
quite dreamily
one day
I will