Koh Lanta - Trip Report 7 Dec 2018 7:16 PM (6 years ago)
I decided to spend Xmas 2017 with my girlfriend in Koh Lanta; one of the few beautiful Thai islands that has yet to be overrun by loud, elephant-pants-wearing trashpackers drinking out of buckets or massive groups of manner-less Chinese tourists.
Getting there from Sri Lanka (trip report) involved being transported in every form of vehicle, but in Koh Lanta I had one of my own; a wee Honda Click scooter for zipping around the island.
This is where I made a rare travel blunder, embarrassingly in the country that I know best.
It’s fairly common knowledge that when you rent a scooter in Thailand you should never leave your passport as a deposit, otherwise you’re just asking to be scammed. There’s countless tales of people having their passports held hostage until they pay for some dents or scratches that were likely there years before they even touched the scooter. You should instead give them a cash deposit of no more than 3,000 baht with a photocopy of your passport. If they won’t accept that then use another company.
How I messed up was when I was checking into the hotel I saw that they rented scooters at a reasonable rate of 250 Baht / day and they had them parked right outside, so I asked for one. The next day I realised that they hadn’t given me my passport back after check in, so I went down to ask for it only to be told that they had to keep my passport as a deposit for the scooter, and that it wasn’t them that rented it to me, they are an agent for the rental company.
“I guess I better not crash it then.” I shrugged.
As much of a nightmare as my crazy girlfriend was in Sri Lanka, she was even worse in Koh Lanta. Who ever thought it was a great idea to go travelling for 3 weeks with a crazy Kiwi girl you’ve only been dating for 6 weeks? This guy!
I don’t drink alcohol so previously when we were out together she didn’t drink either, but apparently to her an island vacation and getting completely wasted go hand in hand. From the first night she started drinking and didn’t stop for the whole week. She disappeared without me and a few hours later I started receiving messages about how much of a bad person I am.
The next morning I went to visit Koh Lanta national park on my own while she went to a bar. At least the 30-minute scooter ride there was easier without 60Kg of dead weight on the back.
View this post on InstagramSwung in to Koh Lanta National Park. #KohLanta #Thailand
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The national park is lovely with an old lighthouse, well maintained beaches and a short hiking trail though some forest. The monkeys are little dickheads though, one leapt at me trying to snatch a coconut straight out of my hands and another stole my can of Fanta while I was taking a photo.
When I got back to the hotel the drunk messages continued.
I waited for her to come back to the room so that I could talk to her, but she never came. I drove off on my own, feeling depressed, to find some nice food to cheer myself up. Of course the weather decided to match my miserable mood and it started raining. There’s very few paved roads in Koh Lanta so when it rains everything turns to mud.
“Better drive carefully.” I thought.
And I was doing just that, but when some stray dog ran out in front of my scooter my instinct was to swerve to avoid it. The tyres slipped and I crashed the scooter straight into a tree. Fortunately I flew off to the side into some shrubs and was just scratched and bruised, but the front panel and headlight cover of the bike were smashed up..
Two girls, an American and a German, who were staying at the hostel beside where I crashed helped me and my scooter up. They could see was that I was all shaken up so they invited me to sit with them at the outside bar.
I showed them all the WhatsApp messages from my girlfriend and they advised me to dump her immediately.
“Ok, I’ll move to another hotel tomorrow.” I told them.
“NO! She should be the one to leave! Pack her bag and leave it with reception!” The American insisted.
I was getting to like these girls, when two butch German women, who these girls had met the previous night, joined us at the table. They spent an hour talking about American and German politics while knocking back beers. I thought about leaving because I felt completely left out of the conversation, and even more so as it switched to full-on feminism topics, with the American, who was now drunk, explaining to the Germans what “Mansplaining” was.
As I listened, I remembered that she had patronised me earlier.
”There are OTHER Thai foods, you DO know that, right?” She condescendingly asked me after I told her how much I loved to eat Phad Thai.
Yes, after spending 6 years of my life living in Thailand I do know that Thai cuisine goes deeper than just Phad Thai.
I’d had just about enough of drunk girls for one trip and so it was time for me to leave.
As I was getting onto my scooter a pretty young English girl who’d been drinking at another table in the bar all night came up to me and asked me what happened with my scooter, then started hugging me and kissing me.
Ok, I guess drunk girls aren’t that bad after all.
The next day, Xmas Eve, I went to hand my scooter back. I’d looked up the price of the parts that needed replaced and found the website of an official Honda parts dealer in Bangkok. 2,000 baht worth of parts then, although it was an old scooter with high mileage so they would probably just replace it with used parts at some local garage and charge me for the price of brand new parts. As for the labour cost of fixing it, that’s practically nothing in Thailand.
The woman from the rental company came, looked at the bike and scribbled out this invoice in Thai:
A laundry list of items written in Thai with prices that she pulled out of her big arse.
Basically she was saying “I've got you by the balls, so pay me 7,900 baht if you want your passport back.”
My friend in Bangkok had bought an old Honda Click of around the same age, mileage and condition for 11,000 baht, for the whole bike! And I was being asked for 7,900 for fixing the front end plastics.
So I got scammed and there was nothing I could do but visit the ATM.
The next day, Xmas day, my girlfriend arrived back to the room drunk at 8am singing Xmas songs before disappearing again while I was in the shower. So I paid another visit to the ATM, this time to withdraw enough money to refund her for her share of our upcoming hotel nights. I left it for her with a note telling her that she’s on her own now, checked out of the hotel and went to enjoy a lovely Phad Thai Xmas dinner on my own.
Then jumped on a ferry to Ao Nang, Krabi. The journey felt like freedom. Bye bye Koh Lanta. Bye bye crazy ex-girlfriend.
A few hours later, relaxing my hotel, my phone started going crazy with notifications.
“Ok, she finally got the bad news.”
So I broke up with a girl, leaving her alone on an island in a foreign country, on Xmas day. Just call me the Grinch!
Sri Lanka - Trip Report 25 Jun 2018 6:34 AM (6 years ago)
I travelled to Sri Lanka solo, just as I have on many of my previous adventures.
This time it wasn't the original plan but my girlfriend happened to crash her car on the way to the airport. Very unfortuante for her, but for me - I got to sit next an empty middle seat on the plane. Every cloud has a silver lining.
It was 1am and I had arrived in the land of the vertical bank note.
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My first destination was the incredibly scenic town of Ella. The 7-hour taxi ride there from Colombo airport was a little costly by Sri Lankan standards at 13,000LKR ($81.50, 61.50 GBP). The trains in Sri Lanka are so cheap that they're practically free. It's just unfortunate that the first train would have got me to Ella at sunset rather than sunrise. Time is more important than money when you're on a short trip so I didn't want to waste a whole day, unlike my girlfriend who was wasting the day in a police station thousands of miles away.
The taxi was a big SUV which was able to cope with Sri Lanka's poorly maintained roads well enough so that I could lie across the seats and get some half-decent sleep in.
I stayed at the Mount Blue View Guest Inn in Ella who allowed me to check in early at 8am. A big advantage of staying in independent hotels is that they're rarely strict about the check-in time. If they can accomodate you they generaly will and so I was able to have a shower and a couple of hours relaxing on my balcony, looking out at the landscape that I was about to explore, before I set off hiking.
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The first place that I hiked to was the Nine Arches Bridge, a beatifully tall railway bridge built in 1941 out of bricks and stone. No steel, which is impressive given the size of the structure.
I hung out at the bridge for 40 minutes before finally being able to watching a train fly over it. You know how much us Scotsmen love "trainspotting".
I continued my hike after taking a short break to consume nature's best electrolyte beverage, served fresh by an entrepreneurial lady who had set up a stall next to the train tracks.
Not as nice as the type of coconuts they have in Thailand for what it's worth.
They say the best time to visit Little Adams's Peak is early in the morning as the visibility from the top can be poor later in the afternoon. I decided to take my chances with that. As I hiked up to the peak I could see the clouds heading towards it, so I raced them and just about beat them there.
For less than an hour of hiking the views from Little Adams's Peak seemed undeserving rewarding. It must be what it feels like to be a kid with rich parents who gets gifted a brand new car just for passing his piss-easy high school exams. Sri Lanka, you spoil me.
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Back at the hotel I fell asleep by accident and only woke up at 10pm due to hunger. I left my room to go out for a munch, only getting as far as the hotel's shutter-gate which was padlocked firmly shut. I couldn't believe they had locked me in. The hotel was dead, no lights were on in any of the rooms. I checked my phone thinking that I must have mistaken the time.
"Yeah, 10:15pm." Maybe the timezone was wrong? Nope, that was correct too.
The tall, thick steel gate looked like it could be climbable. I finally worked out a way to get over it when I heard a noise behind me. I turned around to be confronted by the old man owner of the hotel in his pajamas.
"Oh hey. I'm just going out for food." I said casually, as if it were perfectly normal to climb over 2.5 meter gates to get in and out of places.
"No. Everything closed. No food."
I didn't believe him. There's no way everything would be closed so early. There was a main street not so far away with loads of bars and restaurants aimed at tourist. So after telling him how hungry I was and that I wanted to go try my luck anyway, he sighed and unlocked the padlock for me, let me out, closed the gate, fake-closed the padlock and showed me how to close it properly when I came back.
I walked though the narrow dirt roads in absolute pitch darkness with only my phone's flashlight to help me until I reached the main town. Most of the restaurants were closed and the ones that were still open were only selling drinks. After pleading with a few of them, telling them how hungry I was and offering to pay double, I managed to convince one to make me a large portion of chicken fried rice to take away.
The next morning at breakfast, the hotel owner and his wife were both joking with me about the incident.
"you hungry, hahaha". Like someone going out to eat dinner after 10pm is the most silly thing in the world. Maybe not the world, but in this small town it seemingly was.
After breakfast the crazy Kiwi girl that I was dating (but thankfully no longer am - you can read about that in the next blog post) finally arrived to join me in Sri Lanka.
She was tired from the travelling and just wanted to sleep all day.
"Hell no. It's our last day in Ella. You're coming hiking with me."
And off we went, with the first half hour using the railway track as our path. That was the easy part of the hike, as it's impossible to get lost.
I had printed off an awesome illustrated guide on how to get to Ella Rock and was glad of it because we wouldn't have found our way there otherwise. There were many points where it would have been easy to get lost. I had also read multiple stories about locals who deliberately try to hide paths in an attempt to get travellers lost. They then come to help show you the way before demanding an unreasonably large payment at the end.
We were looking for the first little dirt path to take us away from the railway track when we met a group of 7 boys in their late teens.
"ELLA ROCK!" They shouted, and pointed us down a dirt path.
After a couple of minutes we hadn't reached the next landmark on the illustrated itinerary so I concluded that these guys had sent us down the wrong path. I explained it to my girlfriend and suggested we go back to the railway tracks but she was "fairly sure" we were going the right way, despite the fact that she had done zero research and I had a step-by-step illustrated guide in my hand.
As we walked back it turned out that the group of boys had been following us.
"Where you go? No, no! Ella Rock that way. THAT WAY!"
I told them it was ok, that I was going a different way.
"No! If you go other way you must pay $30 for entry!" The shiftiest looking of the group explained.
"Aye right, pay $30 to who? The Sri Lankan hill faeries? And why do they charge in dollars instead of rupees?" The sharp scent of bullshit in the air couldn't have been more potent.
I just wanted to get away from them but my girlfriend felt more inclined to trust this group of scam artists than me.
"Maybe we should just....."
"NO!" I wasn't about to stand there and try to convince her. I quickly and assertively walked past them and she really had no choice but to follow me.
"Just trust me."
After we found the first couple of landmarks from the printed itinerary, she conceded that she was maybe a little naive and just tends to assume that everyone she meets is genuine and helpful.
The route to Ella Rock was a pleasant trek through a tea plantation and then a steep hike up some wooded hills. The reward at the top was looking out at rolling hills of green as far as the eye could see.
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The next day we spent the whole day travelling but I would hardly call that one a wasted day. It was the most scenic train ride I've ever experienced.
Hopefully my shaky phone camera footage can do the incredible journey a semblance bit of justice.
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I spent most of the trip from Ella to Hatton standing in the open doorway, the best place to catch the breeze and have an unrestricted view of Sri Lankan countryside life.
After a long train and Tuk Tuk ride we arrived in a small village known as Dalhousie, located at the base of Adams Peak - a 2243m tall mountain that is considered sacred in many religions.
The plan was to go straight to sleep, wake up at 2am and hike up to the peak in time for sunrise.
The route to the peak was paved with around 5,500 steep stairs and there were shops selling drinks and hot food every couple of hundred meters. A bit of a different kind of mountain hike compared to doing it in undeveloped nature.
After several hours of stair climbing in the pitch dark, with way too many breaks so that my girlfriend could smoke (annoying and disgusting), we made it to the peak an hour before sunrise. We were joined by a few hundred others, all packed into a small space next to a budhist temple.
The experience of watching the sun rise from the peak wasn't all that great, mostly due to a huge ugly brick building (apparently a donations office) blocking the best part of the view.
We were the amongst the first to start heading back down just as the sun was rising, a wise plan as we didn't want to get stuck behind hundreds of slow people. The real reward of the hike was walking back down the mountain, with unobstruced views and no people around us.
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From there we travelled to the small city of Kandy. This was the only part of the trip that I hadn't planned an itinerary for. My girlfriend had been to Kandy before on a short stopover stay in Sri Lanka, so I left it up to her to plan our time there. Needless to say that we ended up doing absolutely nothing enjoyable there.
We hired a Tuk-Tuk for the full day at only 5,000 LKR (23.75GBP / $31.45 USD) so that we could get from Kandy to Negombo.
Thankfully that payment also included a driver because I have a bad habit of crashing every vehicle that I drive.
We broke up a long, long journey by stopping off for a couple of hours at the Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage to watch these magnificent creatures:
I usually love to consume the local delicacies when I travel but Sri Lankan food wasn't doing it for me at all, so we found a cafe outside of the Elephant Orphanage to eat some egg pastries before continuing the long journey.
We were forced to stop every 30-45 minutes so that my girlfriend could smoke - and on one occasion because she had a desperate craving for soda water. I stood with the driver, who was obviously frustrated and just wanted to get us to our destination as quickly as possible so he could drive all the way back to his family in Kandy and arrive sometime before midnight.
"Water? There water there" He said, pointing at a small convenience store that she had already been in and out of.
"No, she want's soda water"
"Huh? Water?"
"No, soda water, it is water with bubbles." I tried to explain to him as I stood there looking just as frustrated as him.
Every time we stopped I bought some chocolate which, unlike soda water, is not difficult to find in Sri Lanka.
"You're so unhealthy, how can you eat SO MUCH chocolate?" She asked, disapprovingly, as she threw her umpteenth cigarette butt onto the ground.
We finally made it to Negombo in the evening and were getting ready to go out for dinner when I started having excruating pains in my stomach.
"That's what happens when you eat too much sugar!" Came the 'I told you so' lecture.
"I eat tonnes of sugar all the time, 5 bars of chocolate and couple of milkshake drinks aren't going to make me feel physically ill." I explained.
"No, it's definitely the sugar, DEFINITELY THE SUGAR!" The lecture continued.
15 minutes of the pain getting progressively worse and I was in the bathroom experiencing a taste of hell - spewing my guts out constantly in absolute agony.
"What are you not going to do again?"
"Dale, WHAT are you not going to do again? Eat TOO MUCH SUGAR!" It wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear as I emerged from the bathroom 30 minutes later, weighing several kilos lighter and with tears still running down my cheeks.
I stayed in the room, having to take plenty more trips to the bathroom, while she went out alone to find a Thai restaurant looking to satisfy her craving of Tom Yum soup.
I dozed off in bed and late in the night was woken up by the sound of spewing. No, I wasn't having nightmares related to being sick. Those noises were coming from the bathroom.
After what seemed like an eterney she stumbled slowly out of the bathroom.
"I told you it wasn't the damn chocolate!!!" I didn't waste any time in saying.
"Yeah. It must have been those pastries we ate outside the elephant place." She conceded.
"I think I've just put myself off Tom Yum soup for life." She said, looking completely drained.
"What are you not going to do again? WHAT are you not going to do again? EAT TOM YUM SOUP!" I still felt sick but my sense of humour is sicker.
So our two nights in the seaside town of Negombo to end the Sri Lanka trip were pretty much a write-off.
Here's a photo of the fairly ordinary beach I took during the 15 minutes I spent on it.
The Sri Lanka trip started off well and got progressively worse - starting from the point that the girl arrived now that I come to think of it. However I did earn enough money lying in bed playing on my laptop while I was sick to pay for the trip multiple times over. So as a thrifty Scotsman I am going to declare this trip an overall success.
I plan to return to Sri Lanka in the near future. I lost count of the number of people who told me that you need at least 3 weeks to "do" Sri Lanka. Yeah, I wasn't trying to complete it like it's a bloody video game. Some countries you want to give yourself a good reason to return to. See you next time Sri Lanka.
Copenhagen, Denmark - Trip Report and Vlog 4 May 2017 8:46 AM (7 years ago)
Why would anyone leave Scotland in the winter, only to travel to an even colder country?
Well, £25 each way flights and the promise of the best pastries and bacon in the world was good enough reason for my brother and I to book a trip to Denmark.
For this trip report I made a vlog. I've considered doing this in the past but it seemed like too much hassle to do it well. Technology is getting better though and I was able to film, edit and upload this vlog in Ultra HD using just my phone (a Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge).
I chose to record the videos POV (point of view) style rather than with a selfie stick and camera pointed at myself as most vloggers do. Usually when I'm watching a travel vlog I want to see more of the place and less of the vlogger's face. Let know which you think works best.
We booked a famous old hotel, Copenhagen Plaza, right next to the central train station. It should have been an easy journey there from the airport but we were stupid tourists and didn't know the metro trains aren't the same as the train trains. So we ended up 20 minutes walk away from our hotel.
Never mind though, as it meant our first glimpse of Copenhagen was the beautifully picturesque area of Nyhavn, a canal district that dates back to the 17th century.
We chose not to visit any of the bars there as they are famously overpriced. If we were going to be buying anything that's overpriced it better be a burger at Hard Rock Cafe.
I really do prefer to eat the local food when I travel but my brother insisted we eat at Hard Rock Cafe. It turned out to be a decent compromise though as every Hard Rock Cafe in the world has a Local Legendary burger that's locally inspired.
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The Danish version replaces the bun with Danish rugbrød bread. The patty is a spiced beef and pork mix and is topped with beetroot relish and fried leeks.
I was happy, as I got to eat a delicious burger and can still claim to have eaten the local cuisine. Right?
After dinner we found a trendy bar called Bar 7. I was feeling good about my decision to quit drinking alcohol 4 years ago as I watched my brother down 150 Krone (£17 GBP / $22 USD) cocktails.
At least one of us happy to be in Copenhagen. #Copenhagen #Denmark
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We stayed in the bar until 1am, which is when I returned to the hotel. We had plans for a full day of sightseeing the next day so a good night's sleep and an early wake up was a good idea.
Try telling that to my brother, who decided to hit a nightclub and return to the hotel after 6am with an empty wallet and a hand covered in blood. Apparently a piece of broken glass got stuck to his shoe and in his drunken state he thought it would be a good idea to rip out of with his bare hand.
Again, I'm glad I quit drinking.
Leaving the hotel at 1pm, we still hoped to get a lot of sightseeing in. Our first stop was Rundetaarn, also known as the Round Tower.
The tower was built in the 17th century by Christian IV, or at least he ordered it to be built. It was used as an astronomy observatory but we used it to observe a a 360 degree view of the city on what was, unusually for Copenhagen in early march, a beautiful sunny day.
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We then went in search of food, to Torvehallerne - an indoor speciality eatery market with over 60 stalls. There was gourmet food everywhere but we ended up just eating some porridge, or Grød as it's called in Denmark.
It was no ordinary porridge though. At the Grød bar in Torvehallerne, which sells nothing but porridge, we went for the 'All In’ option that included every topping they have.
Started the day with gourmet porridge and all the toppings. #Copenhagen #Denmark
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Apple-vanilla compote, rhubarb compote, coconut flakes, caramel sauce, peanut butter, apples, banana, skyr, cocoa nibs, almonds, hazelnuts, freeze-dried raspberries and valrhona chocolate drops.
Best. Porridge. Ever.
We then paid the price for starting the day late. We arrived at the botanical gardens 10 minutes after the closed the main greenhouse building there. We walked to Rosenborg castle, which was also closed, then to the Church of Our Saviour, where they closed it literally seconds before we arrived.
Fail. Trying to come up with a new plan on the fly, I looked at Google Maps and saw there was a place nearby called Freetown Christiania that was apparently a self-proclaimed autonomous area.
We went to check it out but it wasn't our scene at all. It was some hipster area that was covered in graffiti and junk in a way that was supposed to be cool.
There was an area there called 'Green Zone’ which turned out to be a large area for people to smoke weed and sell weed-related paraphernalia.
I stupidly walked into the green zone while recording video on my phone and was surrounded by angry locals within seconds. It was a scary moment but they let me go unharmed after I deleted the video and pleaded ignorance as a stupid tourist.
Unsurprisingly we didn't stick around after that, and went looking for a place more our scene, which happened to be another big food hall.
This one was called Papiroen. It used to be an old paper factory but is now full of gourmet international food. There was Thai, Korean, Arabic and all kinds of delicious-looking international cuisine everywhere. Still, I wanted to sample the local food, so I was drawn to the stall with the Danish flag selling Smørrebrød.
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Smørrebrød is an open face rugbrød sandwich with cold meat or fish topping. It's a healthier and more delicious way to eat a sandwich compared to the standard two pieces of white bread.
The fast food of choice in Copenhagen seems to be hotdogs. There are hotdog stands everywhere you go in the city.
Leaving our hotel for a night on the town, we took a short walk to John's Hotdog Deli - a hotdog stands famous for using quality ingredients and was featured in Vice.
The hotdog was the highlight of the night for me. We wasted a couple of hours trying to find a decent bar, but despite it being Saturday night everywhere was quiet. We did eventually we save the night by finding an Irish pub with live music.
The next day we switched hotels to the Hilton. I had a free night voucher to use at any Hilton in the world and since the Hilton in Copenhagen costs £270 a night it was worth using it on this trip.
The way I got the free night was by clearing the signup bonus on the Hilton Barclaycard, which was to spend £750 on the card in the first 3 months. This should easily be achievable for anyone so I recommend everyone in the UK take advantage of this.
We checked out the Copenhagen Plaza at midday and left our bags there as we had no time to waste. We had to get to the places we wanted to see the day before, before they closed.
First we checked out Rosenborg Castle, a pleasure palace built by Christian IV in the early 17th century.
Which holds a lot of old furniture, some badass weapons, the king and queen’s crowns and some massive silver lions.
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We then visited another place we were too late for the day before - Church of Our Saviour. We barely had a look inside the church itself. That wasn't what we were interested in. We were interested in climbing the tall spiral staircase up its tower.
Which came with a stunning view.
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I’d been in Denmark almost 48 hours at that stage and hadn’t eat a pastry yet. I set to put that right and didn’t even have to go looking for a bakery. They’re everywhere.
When in Denmark, eat pastries. Kanelboller. #Copenhagen #Denmark
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We spent our last evening at football, watching the Danish Superliga match between FC Copenhagen and Esbjerg. We got there 5 minutes late because the bus we tried to get on was full, but that was fine as there were no crowds or queues to get in.
If I was to compare the standard of play to Scotland, it would be like watching a lower end Premiership team playing against an upper level Championship team.
The next morning, before catching our flight home, we finally got our fill of the famously delicious Danish bacon, courtesy of the Hilton breakfast buffet.
Unlimited Danish bacon. I do love a good breakfast buffet. #Hilton #Copenhagen #Denmark
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We had a fun weekend visit to Copenhagen, still getting plenty done despite leaving the hotel after noon on both days.
Obviously we missed out on the best part of Copenhagen, which is Tivoli Gardens - the second oldest amusement park in the world, dating back to 1843. Unfortunately it was still closed for the winter, but leaves a good reason to visit Copenhagen again in the future.
Milan, Italy - Trip Report 27 Apr 2017 4:10 AM (8 years ago)
I arrived in Milan around 8am after a long overnight flight from Hong Kong. Having had the luxury of a comfortable night's sleep, thanks to the unforgettable experience of travelling in first class, I was ready to spend the day exploring rather than recovering.
This was my first trip to Italy and I had scheduled it so that I could experience the ‘Derby della Madonnina’ - the famous derby match between AC Milan and Inter.
I had yet another stay with AirBnb, booking a beautiful apartment in a residential area, right beside a metro station, for about a third the price of a decent hotel room in the city.
Just checked in to my Airbnb apartment in Milan. #Milan #Italy
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Before booking I contacted the host and told her I could only book if I could check in at 8am. In this scenario the host has to block out the previous night on the booking system, so they're not always keen to do this. Thankfully, as I was booking for a whole week, the host agreed to my request.
**** £30 / $38 free credit for new Airbnb members ****
After settling into my wonderful new home I went out exploring. It was the coldest weather I'd experienced in close to 3 years at around 10 degrees C, but still bearable wearing a hoodie - the only warm item of clothing in my whole suitcase.
My first stop was Sforza Castle - a huge 15th century fortress complex that contains several museums.
I was enjoying strolling around the castle's courtyard for all of about 30 second before I was approached by a big African dude. He attempted to tie a string bracelet around my wrist. “It’s free my friend. Africa!”
This gentleman was part of a team of over a dozen Africans running this hustle. It's a long running scam where they offer you a “free” bracelet, or more like just walk up to you with a distracting smile and friendly talk while physically attaching it to your wrist. They then ask for a donation and get really offended and pushy if you refuse.
I was quick enough to shake the gentleman off me, and the next one, and the next one, but I saw plenty of other tourists getting these worthless bits of string tied around their wrist, quickly followed by a confrontation.
One lady repeatedly demanded the man take it off her and he reluctantly pulled out a pair of scissors and cut it off. Another lady was walking away, visibly upset, screaming “I don't have any money” while being followed and harassed by one of the hustlers.
I saw this scam being played out at every tourist spot in the city. There's literally hundreds of African guys doing this exact same scam, praying on tourists. It must be a profitable business.
Maybe it's allowed to go on because they technically aren't breaking any laws, but since they forcibly attach these difficult to remove bracelets to people by grabbing their arm, then demand money from them, it certainly counts as a scam in my book.
Inside the buildings of Sforza Castle there were no scammers and plenty of history. Lots of art and statues. The most interesting of all having a large room all to itself.
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The Rondanini Pietà, famously the last work of Michelangelo, is a marble statue of Mary holding the dead body of Jesus. Michelangelo started working on it in the 1550s and it remained a work in progress when he died in 1564.
Standing in front of the statue, I thought about how incredible it was to be so close to history. Milan is full of such opportunities.
And none better than the Duomo di Milano - a hugely magnificent cathedral that was built in the 1300’s and took centuries to complete.
Visiting Duomo di Milano. What a structure! #Milan #Italy
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Again, with it being a popular area for tourists, the 'friendship bracelet’ scammers were out in full force.
Getting away from them was all the more reason to go inside the Duomo.
As spectacular as it looks from the outside, it is even more so on the inside. For me, the stained glass windows were the highlight.
I bought the combo ticket that combines entry to the Duomo with access to the rooftop. Opting to take the stairs rather than the lift isn't just healthier, it also saves you a few Euros too.
I completed my day of history and culture with a visit to the church of Santa Maria delle Grazie, which is where Leonardo Da Vinci painted his masterpiece 'The Last Supper’.
Viewing Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece The Last Supper. #Milan #Italy
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It was just as well that I'd spent my first day walking around seeing all the main sites as the next day the weather turned awful with constant ice cold rain.
The weather forecast for the whole week was more of the same. I considered just spending the rest of the week in my cozy AirBnb apartment, watching movies and eating my way through the massive bag of Italian cookies that the lovely Airbnb host gifted to me when i checked in.
Instead I came up with a more productive plan. Join a gym, eat lots of Italian food and make friends by playing Tinder.
The first two parts of my plan were easy to accomplish. There's no shortage of gyms or delicious Italian food in Milan. Playing Tinder however, in a city where every guy looks like a feckin Armani model, was insanely tough. I've never had such a low match rate anywhere in the world.
I bought a weekly pass at a nice local gym and got in good workout before going out for dinner, sampling two Milanese specialities.
I started with a Milanese Risotto. Risotto is rice cooked in a creamy broth. Milanese style adds saffron, making it yellow and more delicious.
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And next up was Veal Milanese. A tender veal chop, breaded and fried.
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A superb introduction to the local food, even if I did have to eat it alone.
The next day my plan fully came together as I spent the whole afternoon in the gym before meeting a nice girl for dinner. As she lived in Milan she obviously knew where the best pizzas were.
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Taking the advice of a trusted local on where to eat is always better than googling it. As I've said in many blogs before, if you make friends with the locals when you travel you'll have a much better experience.
It was more of the same next day as enjoyed a plate of seafood spaghetti in a homely little restaurant.
And had the company of two wonderful girls.
Making friends in Milan. Nothing cuter than a Chinese girl with an Italian accent. #Milan #Italy
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We spent the night at the Martini bar, on a terrace overlooking the Duomo - which looks incredible all lit up at night.
The Duomo Di Milano looks even more incredible at night. #Milan #Italy
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All the Italian guys were dressed up in smart suits and there I was, just casually hanging out in my hoodie. I had no problem getting into the place dressed like that though, despite it being Saturday night in an upscale place.
They probably thought I was some baller who just doesn't give a damn. Rather than the truth - an average dude who just doesn't give a damn.
I was having so much fun the last couple of days that I totally forgot that I was supposed to buy my e-ticket for the sold out Milan Vs Inter match on a resale site.
When I woke up the next day, in the afternoon, the day of the match, the sale of e-tickets on the site had already closed. Damn!
The match wasn't until the evening so I had some time to try to get hold of a ticket.
I asked my friend for advice and she told me to try the Milan fan store in the centre of the city. So I took the metro there and stood in a massive queue to get in, only to realise I'd left my passport, which is needed to buy tickets, back in the apartment.
So another metro trip back and forth and another long wait in the queue, only for the staff to tell me that tickets had sold out weeks ago, but if there were any returned tickets for sale they'd be at the club's HQ known as Casa Milan.
Casa Milan is way on the outskirts of the city, but I made the long journey there only to be told that there were no tickets available.
The only remaining option was to go to the San Siro stadium an hour before kickoff in an effort to buy someone's spare ticket or more likely get gouged by a ticket tout / scalper.
I still had a couple of hours spare and it started to rain so I found a nice cafe to relax and eat a delicious Cannoli, ticking another item off my list of Italian food to eat in Italy.
Having a sweet time in Italy. The cannoli I've been eating has helped. #Milan #Italy
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To this day I still think about that Cannoli when I'm hungry, it was so good.
Full of sugary energy, I took yet another trip on the metro, arriving at the San Siro stadium. It was pissing down with rain but the atmosphere around the stadium was buzzing.
I walked around the stadium twice, asking if anyone had a spare ticket, but had no luck. I didn't even see any ticket touts.
I was about to go back to my apartment, wet and disappointed, when I decided to ask one of the big African guys who were selling ponchos and knock-off merchandise if he knew anyone selling tickets.
He did, and took me to his friend - an old, sketchy looking, Italian man with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
He had tickets to sell but wanted 3x face value for them. It was almost all the money I had on me but I agreed. I'd only complete the transaction however if he'd do a ‘name change’ for the ticket on the Milan website.
There's two stages to getting into the stadium. First security personnel check the name on your ticket against your passport, hence why I needed the name change document on my phone. Once you're past security, you scan the QR code on the ticket at the automatic turnstiles.
The sketchy looking dude took my phone and tried to complete the name change online but the website kept throwing up an error. It looked more like the web page was broken rather than him entering the wrong details. 20 minutes later, he'd made no progress and I wasn't too happy about him holding my new phone and his cigarette in the same hand.
I was about to take my phone and leave when he suggested that I show the ticket and the error on my phone to the security and see if they'd let me pass. I gave him the money but made him come with me so I could get the money back if I couldn't get in.
On the way there the big African dude who introduced me to the tout asked me for €5. I had about €5 left in my wallet but needed money for the metro home and didn't know if there was an ATM nearby, so I had to say no. Of course he got really pissed off with me.
At the stadium entrance, the security personnel wouldn't let me pass but the ticket tout did a lot of talking in Italian and they eventually let me through. It was 10 minutes before kickoff and the electric atmosphere was pouring out off the stadium.
I excitedly approached the turnstile and scanned my ticket only to be confronted with a red cross. My heart sank. I knew right away that I was screwed.
I spent half an hour waiting to speak to a staff member who could check the validity of my ticket and it turned out that the ticket had already been used to enter the stadium. I had been well and truly scammed.
All those years. All those trips abroad. I thought I was too savvy to get scammed. But this bastard got me.
I went looking for him, the rain still pissing down, but he was probably somewhere warm and dry with his feet up counting my money.
I did find a young Singaporean guy who had the same thing happen to him. He was in tears. I wasn't crying but I did feel absolutely awful. A sense of shock combined with a horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Walking back to the metro, soaking wet and feeling miserable, I turned around to have one last look at the San Siro.
I couldn't sleep that night. I kept waking up in a panic, thinking about what had happened and what I could have done differently.
I just kept beating myself up for being so stupid. It would have been a lot easier to deal with if I directed my anger towards the scammer rather than myself, but what happened was really my own idiotic fault. I had the chance to buy my ticket cheaper on a reputable resale site ahead of time but I ended up handing over a fist full of cash to a scumbag criminal for a worthless piece of paper. What an absolute fool.
I wasn't even bothered about the lost money. Ok, I'm Scottish, so I was bothered a little bit, but I was mainly bothered by the fact that I let a scumbag get one over on me and that I missed out on the experience of watching the derby - the main reason for my trip to Milan.
The next day I consoled myself the only way I knew how - with more incredible Italian food. My first trip to Italy certainly had to include a couple of plates of pasta.
And 5 scoops of the best Gelati in town.
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I'd ticked everything off my list of Italian food, and I was desperately missing Asia, so on my last day I went to eat lunch at Armani Nobu - the famous Japanese fusion restaurant in an Armani designed space.
I enjoyed a bento box of goodness that included the incredible Miso Black Cod that I loved so much at Nobu Bahamas.
Had enough of Italian food this trip so I'm eating lunch at Nobu. #Milan #Italy
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And the delightful chocolate fondant cake with Matcha green tea ice cream.
Chocolate fondant with matcha ice cream for dessert. #Nobu #Milan #Italy
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It's amazing how much a good meal can change your mood. Despite feeling miserable for the last couple of days I left Milan with a smile on my face.
The smile didn't last long though as I boarded my easyJet flight to Edinburgh. Back to life. Back to reality.
My £10,315 First Class Cathay Pacific Flight (that cost me £30). 8 Mar 2017 3:52 AM (8 years ago)
Four years ago I got into the hobby of collecting airline miles. I previously hadn't even bothered to sign up for any airline's frequent flyer clubs, in the mistaken belief that I would need to do a crazy amount of travel to get anything worthwhile out of them.
Since I started reading blogs such as Head For Points and the Flyer Talk forums I've since collected hundreds of thousands of miles, but very few of them came from actually flying. Most were from churning credit card signup bonuses (what would be called "bonus whoring" in the online poker world) and various other offers that have come up from time to time.
I've previously written about some of the excellent miles redemptions that I've made for Business Class flights in the last couple of years:
Bangkok to Istanbul with Malaysia Airlines
The cash price for the same ticket was $12,670 USD (£10,315 GBP).
Without getting into the miles collecting hobby I'd never have the opportunity to fly this route in First. Even if I won the lottery I still wouldn't pay that much cash for one flight.
My flight was at 00:40 but there was no point in getting a hotel room for that night as I knew how good the Cathay lounges at HKG were. Instead I went out in Hong Kong for some afternoon shopping and noodles before heading to the airport at 6pm.
I arrived at the airport 6 hours before takeoff. I checked in was fast-tracked through exit immigration and security in just a few minutes. A breeze.
I was directed to go to Cathay's new First Class-only lounge 'The Pier' but I had done my research and first headed to 'The Wing', which has both Business Class and First Class sections. My reason for going there first was the excellent private cabanas in the First section.
Cabana at The Wing, Cathay Pacific First Class Lounge. #HongKong
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The cabanas have a large bath, shower and sofa. It was a good place to relax and wash up after an afternoon getting sweaty walking around humid Hong Kong.
In most lounge or flight trip reports that I've read on the internet, the bulk of the article is usually about all the premium alcohol that's served. However, I'm a sober Scotsman and as much as it pained me to pass up the value of all those expensive champagnes and single malts I was determined to make up for it with another vice - binge eating.
Binge eating is all the more enjoyable when everything is free.
I visited The Wing's restaurant in the First section where there was a small buffet of quality grub and an A La Carte menu with 5 options. I don't often get the chance to order the whole menu in a restaurant so I ceased the opportunity and ordered all 5 dishes. The waitress acted as if that was unusual. She's obviously never seen me eat before.
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The dishes were Lamb Stew, Pan-Fried Salmon Fillet, Hokkien Shrimp Fried Noodles, Slow Roasted Chicken, Mushroom Risotto with Scented Truffle.
It was all top quality nosh but as you can see, the portions were small. Not that I was complaining, as I planned on doing more eating when I got to The Pier.
I had a half hour walk around the airport as I tried to build up an appetite for more free food.
When I arrived at The Pier I walked straight past the bar....
..... and went straight to the restaurant.
The restaurant, which was beautifully laid out with a relaxed atmosphere, only had two other's eating there so the service was very fast.
The menu at The Pier contained everything I ate at The Wing, plus a whole lot more.
I didn't think I'd be able to eat the whole menu this time, but I'd certainly be able to put a big dent in it.
I started off with Pan-seared Canadian Snow Crab Meat with Pepper Aloi.
I bit through the crispy outer layer into some tender and delicious crab meat, and finished the tiny portion in about 10 seconds. I could have ate about 50 plates of the same. I wonder how they would have reacted if I asked for 50 plates, alas it was a better idea to sample the rest of the menu.
Next up was another starter, Yakitori Beef, which I asked for medium-rare and was cooked perfectly.
Followed by some Wok-fried Clams.
Followed by Wok-fried Beef Tenderloin.
Followed by the Angus Beef Burger with Truffle Mayonnaise. I'd heard about how good this was and it more than lived up to it's high expectations.
There was only a few items on the menu that I hadn't tried but after the burger I was feeling pretty stuffed.
So it was onto dessert. I always have room for dessert.
First was Poached Pear in Almond Syrup, which was served hot, along with a Vanilla Panna Cotta.
Both were excellent. In fact all the food was excellent, with The Pier's menu being a step above The Wing's. I wished that I had room for more, but all I could reasonable manage at that point was the Fruit Plate with Mango Sorbet.
After all that eating I booked myself in for a complementary foot massage. There was a 30 minute wait so I was given a wireless disc that would buzz when my massage was ready.
Feeling that I was slipping into a food-induced coma, I booked a day suite to have a nap.
The day suites are quite small and are really just a large sofa bed and table. They're nowhere near as impressive as the cabanas in The Wing. They are very comfortable and quiet and have a good view of the runway though.
30 minutes later I was woken up by the buzzer as my foot massage was ready.
Complimentary 20 minute foot massage. #TrackieBs #HongKong #CathayPacific
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The massages lasted 20 minutes. Having spent a lot of time in Thailand and having dozens of foot massages, I'd say that this one was below par, maybe a 4/10. The masseuse didn't put much effort into it at all. A massage has to be strong otherwise it's just a waste of time. It was very late and perhaps she'd been working all day.
After my massage I found a room full of cheese and fridge full of desserts and suchlike in jars.
I grabbed a jar of Mango Mousse and two jars of Coconut and Red Bean Pudding and relaxed in the computer room until my flight was ready to board.
It was my first time using an Apple computer since I was in High School so it took me a while to get used to the one button on the mouse.
On the plane the First Class cabin had just 6 seats. There were 4 customers, including myself, and 2 flight attendants looking after the cabin so service was excellent.
This is what the seat looked like:
The TV swings out so you can have it in front of you, and behind that is a large storage area with hangers.
Suffice to say it was the most comfortable I've been on a 13 hour flight.
Immediately after takeoff we were served caviar and champagne. I turned down the champagne in favour of a delicious mocktail. I still had a belly full of food but there was no way I was turning down the caviar.
Straight after that they wanted to serve supper. We'd been in the air less than an hour but it was after 1am already. I told the attendant that I was pretty full after eating everything in the lounge and she asked "oh, so you'd like to skip supper?".
No!
I manned up and took my supper, choosing the Modern Hong Kong Menu.
A starter of pork belly salad rolls and a shredded duck soup went down an absolute treat.
Followed by an incredible main of Maine Lobster Ma Po Tofu.
I'd put that on par with the Angus Burger as being the best thing I ate that day.
Dessert was a sweet broth made with Longan, Foxnut and Golden Osmanthus, with a slice of Mango and Coconut Glutinous Rice Roll.
The Glutinous Rice Roll was incredible and reminded me of the similar ones I'd been eating at a Dim Sum restaurant in Hong Kong.
Feeling myself about to slip into another food-induced coma I went to the bathroom to wash up, while the flight attendant converted my seat into a bed. I was provided with a wash bag full of Aesop (an expensive Australian brand) products and some comfortable pyjamas.
No problem falling asleep on this flight.
After suffering through many overnight flights in economy in the past I really appreciated the level of comfort I had right then.
After a long sleep I woke up to a Dim Sum breakfast.
Along with a fruit salad, basket of pastries and a delicious Hong Kong Milk Tea.
And that was my First Class experience, comfort and food, and comfort food. We landed in Milan, Italy, with my Avios balance 120,000 miles lighter and me about 1 kg heavier.
I wish that I could travel like that all the time but it'll take me a while to earn more miles. I'm currently working my way through an American Express signup bonus and have been buying things for other people and having them give me the cash in order to hit the spend requirement on the card.
That might seem like a lot of hassle to most people but the end result is worth it - believe me.
Hong Kong - Trip Report 9 Feb 2017 4:03 AM (8 years ago)
After a week of eating everything in Osaka, I travelled to Hong Kong with the intention of doing plenty of hiking to burn off those excess calories.
I'd visited Hong Kong several times before but was unable to take advantage of its excellent hiking trails as it was always raining. I hoped for better luck with the weather on this visit.
Just as I did between Bangkok and Osaka, I was able to book an excellent value miles redemption ticket between Osaka and Hong Kong. I travelled business class with Cathay Pacific, KIX-HKG direct, for just 20,000 Avios points + £26.90 GBP ($33.79 USD). The cash price of the same ticket was a ludicrous £1877 GBP ($2357 USD).
It was only a 4 hour and 25 minute flight but, just like my flight from Bangkok to Osaka, the airline uses a long haul aircraft for the route. This makes a big difference in terms of comfort as you get a fully flat bed in business class rather than just a wider seat.
This was a 10am flight so certainly no need for a sleep. I just lay back and watched The Secret Life of Pets.
I'd visited Hong Kong several times before but was unable to take advantage of its excellent hiking trails as it was always raining. I hoped for better luck with the weather on this visit.
Just as I did between Bangkok and Osaka, I was able to book an excellent value miles redemption ticket between Osaka and Hong Kong. I travelled business class with Cathay Pacific, KIX-HKG direct, for just 20,000 Avios points + £26.90 GBP ($33.79 USD). The cash price of the same ticket was a ludicrous £1877 GBP ($2357 USD).
It was only a 4 hour and 25 minute flight but, just like my flight from Bangkok to Osaka, the airline uses a long haul aircraft for the route. This makes a big difference in terms of comfort as you get a fully flat bed in business class rather than just a wider seat.
This was a 10am flight so certainly no need for a sleep. I just lay back and watched The Secret Life of Pets.
The food was excellent and there was plenty of it. Starters of green tea soba noodles and a duck salad. A main of big juicy beef steak with mashed sweet potato. For dessert, cheese and crackers, followed by a fruit salad, followed by a small tub of Haagen Dazs ice cream. Cathay Pacific know how to make me happy.
I arrived in Hong Kong in the late afternoon, checking into the Shangri La owned 'Hotel Jen'.
Earlier in the year a photo I entered into Shangri La’s social media competition won me 20,000 loyalty points, which are worth $2,000 USD of hotel stay or food. I had been steadily trying to use up the points at the Shangri La buffet in Bangkok but still had plenty left.
There was a promotion running for 25% off hotel point redemptions so I was able to book 6 nights for 9,000 ($900) worth of points. Not bad considering that good hotels are insanely expensive in Hong Kong. It has the highest real estate values of any country in the world.
Promenade
After settling into my room it was way too late to do a hike that day. Instead I started off my stay with a long jog along the promenade. A great way to admire how beautiful the city is at night.
A wee jog along the promenade. Hong Kong is so pretty at night. #HongKong
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Victoria Peak
After an hour of jogging I still had loads of energy. Not surprising given how much I’d been eating for the past week. I planned to hike up to Victoria Peak for some more exercise and another stunning view of Hong Kong at night.
However, Hong Kong isn't so easy to navigate by foot, even with the help of Google maps. It's the polar opposite of Osaka which is completely flat with grid block streets.
After wasting more than half an hour walking around in giant circle, I ended up upon the base station of the funicular tram that goes all the way to the top of Victoria Peak. Given that it was getting late I decided to spend my money and save my energy by purchasing a ticket.
I’d already been to the observation point of the peak in 2011 with my poker buddy Amatay Jones but that was during the daytime and the fog was really bad. This time I was there for the night time view. There was still a fair bit of fog but the view was slightly more than decent.
Dragon’s Back
The next day I was ready to go on my first Hong Kong hike, but when I opened the curtains I looked out to see black clouds and rain. Wow I really do have terrible luck with the weather in Hong Kong.
At around midday it was still raining but just a light drizzle. It looked like the rain may stop soon so I decided to gamble and began the hour long metro and bus ride to Dragon’s Back - a trail that's very popular with the locals.
It was a fairly easy hike and I passed plenty of old people and little kids on the route. It was a beautiful view from the top and it really does look like a dragon's back.
Thanks to the fresh air, beautiful scenery and exercise I remember thinking to myself “I feel absolutely amazing right now”.
I felt considerably less than amazing after getting caught in heavy rain on the last 3rd of the hike though. Oh well. Thankfully this was the last of the rain on my trip.
Lion Rock
The next day I was up early for another hike - MacLehose Trail section 5. The MacLehose trail is 100 Km long and split into 10 sections. It earns it's name from Sir Murray MacLehose, who was British Hong Kong's longest serving governor and responsible for the creation of the country parks.
It was a much more challenging hike than Dragon’s Back - not a child or old person in sight.
The more challenging a hike, the more rewarding it is and at the peak of the trail the prize were some incredible views of Kowloon.
At that moment it felt like nothing else mattered. I thought “this is living”. I wondered “all those people down there and barely anyone up here. Why?”. If I lived in Hong Kong I’d be out hiking every chance that I got.
The trail is home to Lion Rock, a big rock that looks like a Lion’s head and needs to be climbed rather than hiked. I trusted my new £600 phone with a friendly young local and dragged myself up to the top for a photo opportunity that couldn’t be missed.
After a 10.6 km hike, plus another 3 or 4 getting to and from the Metro station, I had earned myself a good Chinese meal.
More delicious and a lot healthier than the “Chinese” food that’s served in the UK.
Shang Palace
For dinner that night I treated myself to a visit to Michelin two-star restaurant Shang Palace. It’s in the Kowloon Shangri La which meant I could pay for the whole bill with my Shangri La loyalty points.
Eating some decent grub at Michelin two-star restaurant Shang Palace.
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I opted for the Barbecued Suckling Pig, Roasted Crispy Goose, Roasted Pork Loin combination ($468 HKD / £48.18 GBP / $60.32 USD) and Deep-fried Prawn Toast with Foie Gras ($128 HKD / £13.18 GBP / $16.50 USD).
For dessert - Chilled Mango Pudding ($48 HKD / £4.94 / $6.19 USD) and Walnut Cookies ($45 HKD / £4.63 GBP / $5.80 USD).
It was a beautiful restaurant and a delicious meal but I was happy that I wasn’t paying for it with real money. Especially considering that I was still hungry at the end of it. That’s why I’m not a good match for fancy restaurants, the portions are too small and my appetite is too huge.
Not to worry though, as I found a bakery open late that was selling Portuguese Egg Tarts. A few of those in my belly and I was right as rain.
Wong Lung Hang Stream
Another day, another hike. I planned to hike every day of my stay in Hong Kong.
This hike was along a Wong Lung Hang Stream. It’s a river leading to a waterfall and involved jumping from rock to rock the whole way. I tried my best not to get my feet wet but eventually slipped and had to spend the rest of the day with soggy shoes on.
When I made it to the waterfall it was time to get wet on purpose. I wasted no time to jump in for a swim.
Hiking along Wong Lung Hang Stream trail and taking a well deserved dip. #HongKong
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Somehow the ‘pick 'n mix’ sushi I bought from a stall at the metro station had survived a few hours in my backpack so I was able to sit by the waterfall and enjoy a tasty lunch, along with a bag of almonds and chocolate whey protein shake. Healthy living.
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It seemed like a good idea. There was a very faint path through the trees that I followed until a mean looking spider was blocking my way.
Had to get over my fear of spiders on this trek. #HongKong
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I just kept hiking up the steep mountain, through the trees and plants with jaggy branches cutting my legs to shreds. I figured if I got to the top of the mountain I’d be able to find a clear path to continue my hike.
I was wrong. After an hour I made it near to the top and realised that I was well and truly lost. Not only that but there was less than two hours of daylight left. Panic!
I could at least see where civilisation was, but it was so far away and I knew that I couldn’t even retrace my steps to get back there.
I heard a stream and slid down to it on a steep muddy decline on my hands and arse. The stream I heard was basically a steep set of mini waterfalls all the way down. I knew if I followed it I’d end up back at the main river.
It was extremely dangerous and slippery but I had to move fast to beat dusk. I fell a few times. Just some bumps and bruises, until I had a really bad slip and fall with my ankle getting sprained and jammed in between two rocks.
I was already in trouble and now I’d have to get through the rest of the journey with an ankle sprain. I looked up to see the sun starting to dip below the mountain and I wasn’t even half way down.
I looked at my phone and it had 12% battery left. I just hoped it would be enough for me to use the flashlight on it if I didn’t make it back before dusk.
Many times it seemed like I hit a dead end, but I was eventually able to find an alternative route through while still trying to follow the water down. It was a slow process involving careful feet placement and grabbing on to rocks and branches.
I did eventually make it back to the main stream and then back to civilisation with just 10 minutes of daylight left. My ankle was throbbing and my legs had about 100 scratches, many of them bleeding, but I felt emotionally great. I guess from relief more than anything else.
I smelled terrible. A mix of sweat, river water, mud and blood isn’t a good aroma. The Metro train I took back to my hotel was full of people but nobody was standing within a meter of me.
Dim Sum Square
After having one of the best showers of my life I was ravenously hungry. It would have been easy for me to just lay in bed in my comfy hotel room and order room service, but I’d been looking forward to a highly recommended late night Dim Sum restaurant called Dim Sum Square. I hobbled my way there.
Like most Dim Sum restaurants you are given a piece of paper with all the menu items and you just tick the boxes of the ones you want. I ticked 11 of the boxes, about 40% of the menu, only for the waitress to try to convince me to order less. “This too much, TOO MUCH” she tried to warn me.
That photo wasn’t all of it. There were 4 more dishes still to come after I’d eaten some to make more room on the table.
The food was delicious, especially those Baked Pastry BBQ Pork Buns which always go down a treat at a Dim Sum joint. The bill was 1/5th of the fancy Two-Michelin Star restaurant I ate at the previous night and I actually left feeling full and satisfied.
Hotel Gym
I had two more hikes planned for my stay in Hong Kong but with a sprained ankle it unfortunately wasn’t an option. Disappointing but I’m sure I’ll be back in Hong Kong many more times in my life and will eventually hike every trail there.
It’s important to keep active even when you’re injured so I visited to the hotel gym to do some upper body work.
The gym at the Hotel Jen is on the rooftop at the 29th floor with a great panoramic view. It was a nice environment for me to spend a Sunday afternoon working up an appetite for more delicious Dim Sum.
Decent view for a light Sunday afternoon workout. @HotelJenHK #HongKong
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Ding Dim
Another Dim Sum restaurant that was recommended to me was Ding Dim.
I went there alone and they tried to seat me at a small bar area. The restaurant was tiny but I insisted on being sat at one of their double tables. I knew I’d be needing the space for all the food I was going to order. The staff were reluctant as there were only two single tables and two double tables in the whole tiny restaurant. However, they weren’t so busy so did let me have a big table to myself.
This time I only ordered only 8 items and still I had the waitress, who herself must have weighed no more than 35 kg, try to convince me to order less. “Each one is three portions” she explained to me. “Yes, I know” I told her. “This too much for one person” she said. “Trust me, I will eat it all” I told her as she walked away shaking her head.
I ate the lot very quickly then asked for the menu to order some more, much to the waitress’s amazement.
The highlight at this joint were the glutinous rice balls with mango in the middle. Pure heaven.
The next evening I met up with a poker pal, Chihao Tsang, to eat at a posh and extremely popular restaurant called Ho Lee Fook. The name of the place seems like a joke but the food was seriously good.
We had originally planned to do a hike together, work up a large appetite, then reward ourselves with a big meal. I had to cancel the hike plans due to my ankle sprain, so it was just straight to the big meal.
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Chihao was full after that, but we were right across the road from Ding Dim where I’d eaten the previous night. I convinced him to go there with me to eat their incredible mango glutinous rice balls for dessert.
I couldn’t resist ordering a few BBQ Pork Buns as well.
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Flight to Milan
After a wonderful stay in Hong Kong I headed back to Europe for the first time in a couple of years. I flew first class with Cathay Pacific to Milan - another excellent miles redemption - and I think that flight experience deserves a trip report all to itself. Stay tuned.
Osaka - Trip Report 19 Dec 2016 5:17 AM (8 years ago)
The wonderful thing about travel is the experience of something different than what you're used to. And for a European it doesn't get any more different than Japan. When you're in Japan, you know that you're 5,000 miles away from home.
However, one thing that’s Japanese that I am used to is their food. I seek out Japanese restaurants no matter where I am in the world. It was four years since my last trip to Japan so another visit was well overdue. I’d been hearing that the food capital of Japan was Osaka, so, of course, I booked a flight there.
I used some of my Avios (British Airways) miles to book a business class flight with Japan Airlines direct from Bangkok to Osaka for 20,000 Avios + £26.90 ($34.10 USD / €32.08 EUR) in cash. An excellent value redemption considering the cash price of the same ticket was £963 ($1221 USD / €1148 EUR).
It was a 5 hour flight but fortunately Japan Airlines use a long haul aircraft for the route. Long haul is usually defined by most airlines to be over 7 hours. The benefit of flying in a long haul aircraft is that you get a flat bed in business class rather than just a big seat. And with a 23:25 takeoff I needed it.
I got a solid 3 and a half hours sleep in. The cabin crew asked me before lights out if I wanted to be woken up for breakfast or left to sleep. Of course I value food higher than sleep so I wasn’t going to miss my first Japanese breakfast of the trip.
With the 2 hour time difference the flight landed at 6:25. Early morning arrivals are good in that you get a whole day at your destination. In fact, more than a full day for me because I generally don’t get out of bed before midday. But they are bad in that it’s usually way too early to check into a hotel.
I wasn’t staying in a hotel anyway as they are absurdly expensive in Osaka. You can find a small apartment that’s of the same standard as hotel room for about a quarter the price on Airbnb. Airbnb seems to be very oversaturated with hosts in Osaka so with much more supply than demand prices are very low.
Since I was arriving early I contacted hosts before booking to ask if I could check in at 8am. My first choice host refused, saying I’d have to pay for the previous day, but my second choice host agreed to it even though that meant she’d have to block out the previous day from booking, basically giving me a free day. So that’s the one I booked.
I got an 11% discount for staying a full week and the net total after Airbnb fees was $240 USD (£189 GBP / €225 EUR) for 7 nights. Which is roughly the same price as 1 night in the Holiday Inn in Osaka.
I also got a $50 credit from Airbnb for my first ‘business trip’, a promotion that they are still running. All you have to do is book a place that they deem suitable for business travellers and tick a box to say it’s a business trip.
I took the subway from the airport to my Airbnb as the 14,000 JPY (£96 GBP / $121 USD / €114 EUR) taxi fare didn’t appeal to my Scottish thriftiness. It was right in the middle of the early morning rush hour. I was in a train jam packed with Japanese men in business suits for an hour but as the first station was the airport I got a seat.
When I got to my destination station I couldn’t find an exit with a lift or escalator so I dragged my 32Kg suitcase up the steep staircase step by step. I was half way up when a middle age man in a smart suit, who was going down the stairs, stopped and asked me if I would like some help. I politely refused, telling him that I was going to be eating a lot in Japan so I needed the exercise.
A few minutes later, outside the station, I brought up Google Maps on my phone to get the directions to my Airbnb. I was messing around with my phone trying to get the compass to calibrate when another man in a suit stopped and asked me if I needed help. I showed him where I was going on my phone and he pointed my in the right direction.
Japanese people really are that friendly. I’ve since mentioned it to Japanese friends and they’ve said “yes, that’s normal” or “yeah, if you look like you need help of course someone is going to offer it to you”. In Japan perhaps, but in the vast majority of big cities in the world not at all, which is why I was so pleasantly surprised.
My Airbnb place was tiny, Japanese style, but somehow there was space for everything. Except my head in the shower. Talking about Japanese style, the toilet had about 16 buttons on it with Japanese letters, and it seems like every single one of makes water shoot your my arse, the only difference being the temperature and force. You’d have thought I’d given up trying after the 4th or 5th button but I was really hoping one of them would play some music or something cool.
After a quick shower, which would have been quicker if I didn’t bang my head an absolute belter on the ceiling, I set out on a mission to munch some delicious Japanese food.
Unajyu
My first stop was at Unatoto Unagi, a restaurant specialising in Una (grilled freshwater eel) with a reputation for being delicious and very good value. Prices start at 500 JPY for an Unadon (Una in a rice bowl). I went for the slightly larger Unajyu (Una in a rice box) at 800 JPY.
I could have stayed there binge eating Una all day, especially considering how cheap it was, for Japan at least, but decided to go straight from there to another restaurant.
Okonomiyaki
I had tried Okonomiyaki (savoury pancake) a few times in Japanese restaurants in Bangkok and thought it was decent but not brilliant. A friend on Twitter, Asako, recommended her favourite Okonomiyaki restaurant in Osaka called Ajinoya. No matter where you are in the world, if a local tells you that a restaurant is great, it always is.
I walked 25 minutes from Una restaurant to the Okonomiyaki restaurant. I could have just taken the excellent Osaka subway but the centre of Osaka is completely flat and the streets are in grid shaped blocks. It's so easy to find and walk to anywhere in the city.
Plus, with the amount of food I was planning to eat, the exercise was welcome. As was the fresh air and mild weather, I'm used to hot and humid Bangkok where you can't walk anywhere for more than a minute without sweating your arse off.
At Ajinoya they have a Teppanyaki style bar, so you sit right in front of the chef as he cooks your meal.
I opted for the Ajinoya mix, their original Okonomiyaki, which is made with octopus, pork, squid, minced meat and shrimp. Topped off with mustard, mayonnaise, teriyaki sauce, fish flakes and seaweed.
After eating that heavenly Okonomiyaki I now know that the previous Okonomiyaki I've been eating outside of Japan were garbage, not even comparable to what I ate at Ajinoya.
Pablo - Part 1
I already knew where I was going for dessert. I had done my research and discovered that there’s a chain of bakeries known for their incredible cheese tarts.
I didn’t order the cheese tart. I found something even more appealing to me on the menu - matcha cheesecake.
Dessert time. Slice of delicious matcha green tea cheesecake. #Osaka #Japan
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It was a delicious, thick and dense slice of cheesecake and the matcha flavour was very rich. I left Pablo with a big smile on my face.
Supermarket
They say you should never go food shopping on an empty stomach because you will end up buying way more than you need. Well I went to the upscale supermarket, Koyo, near my Airbnb with a stomach full off Una and Okonomiyaki but still ended up buying half the shop.
There was so much good, fresh food there. I bought a box of tuna sashimi, a bento box full of everything, two matcha custard pancakes, a few bottles of matcha latte, a banana and strawberry cream sandwich and a bunch of Japanese chocolate bars. I really only went in there to buy milk.
Gym - Part 1
The one thing that I miss out on by staying in an Airbnb rather than a good hotel is access to a gym. After spending all day eating I thought I’d better look for a gym where I could buy a day pass. Usually this an easy task in most cities in the world but it seem that gyms aren’t that common or popular in Japan.
I found one 15 minutes walk from my apartment called Oasis Health Club. It looked nice from the outside, as did the lobby inside, so I paid my 2,000 JPY (£13.80 GBP / $17.07 USD / €16.39) for a day pass, which is less than the going rate in Osaka gyms, and proceeded to get changed in a locker room full of naked Japanese men.
I thought Japanese men were quite conservative but it seem when it comes to nakedness they are quite liberal. I saw more hairy Japanese penises in 5 minutes than I want to see for the rest of my life.
I was expecting this gym to be really high tech and awesome, Japanese style, but all their equipment looked like it was made in the 1980s. What a letdown. And the crazy thing is it was really busy. If that gym existed in the UK it would have zero customers, because your local council run gym would be cheaper and better equipped.
At least I only paid for a day pass. I would look for an alternative gym a couple of days later.
Curry
On the afternoon of my second day in Osaka I opened the doors to my balcony for a bit of fresh air and the smell of curry poured in. Curry is very popular in Japan and there’s a curry restaurant on most streets. It seemed there was one on mine too. So I followed the smell.
Next door, up some stairs, I found a tiny local curry restaurant that’s only open for 5 hours each afternoon and has space for just 10 people. I had to wait 15 minutes to get a seat, then sat along the bar with locals, who were looking at me like I was an alien.
When the staff handed me a menu, all in Japanese language, everyone was looking at me, I guess wondering if I could even read Japanese. Of course I couldn’t, but Google Translate can. With the phone app you just hover your camera above some Japanese text and it translates it into English in real time. I was able to confidently order the curry that I wanted plus several different toppings.
Maybe I convinced them that I could understand Japanese. At least until the staff spoke to me in Japanese and I just had to sit there and smile, then the game was up. Another bluff foiled.
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The curry was superb and I enjoyed the setup of the place with one long bar placed around the cooking station, so you can watch the staff make your meal while you wait.
Osaka Castle
The trip to Japan can’t just be all about food, can it? I suppose it could be but it would be a shame not to see some sights while I was there. The most obvious one being Osaka Castle.
It is indeed an impressive sight but I knew going there that it was just a reconstruction. The original castle was built in 1583 and destroyed in 1868.
You can take an elevator to a 360 degree observation tower at the top of the castle, but there was a long, long queue so I hoofed it up the stairs. Working up an appetite for later and the view was well worth the effort.
View from top of Osaka castle main tower. #Osaka #Japan
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Kushikatsu
That evening I met my twitter friend Asako who gave me the awesome Okonomiyaki recommendation the previous day. As an Osaka local and food lover, she knows all the best places to eat, so she was a good person to go out for dinner with.
Made a friend in Osaka, she's a poker player. @asako_220 #Osaka #Japan
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We went to a Kushikatsu restaurant. Kushikatsu are pieces of meat and vegetables that are coated with panko batter, deep-fried and skewered with bamboo sticks. Every table has a big metal tin of sauce for dipping but you can only dip each stick in before your first bite, as everyone uses it. This means the sauce is full of the flavours of everything that’s been dipped in it that day.
Eating kushikatsu. This Scotsman approves of deep-fried Japanese food. #Osaka #Japan
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That’s when I learned my first Japanese word. I asked Asako how to say “delicious”. It’s “oishi”, and the kushikatsu certainly was oishi!
Poker
Asako is a poker player so after dinner she offered to introduce me to the Osaka poker scene.
Playing the live pokers for the first time in 18 months, at Bluff Bar Osaka. #Osaka #Japan
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Gambling is mainly illegal in Japan but just like the many pachinko parlours that exist, there are poker rooms and casinos that have found a legal loophole. These “amusement casinos” allow you to trade cash for chips, and with the chips you can earn points, which can then be exchanged for something of value like travel vouchers.
At least that’s how I think it works. I never actually got to the stage of cashing anything out.
We played at Bluff Bar, which I’m told is one of around 20 amusement poker rooms in Osaka, in a nightly tournament with about 20 players. It was a fast structure style of game. Online it would be called a “hyper turbo” for sure. Which I was more than happy with as I’m more than decent with a short stack.
Other than the amusement poker rooms, there are many private home games, as there are everywhere in the world, whether real money poker is legal or not. If you wanted to play in a home game the amusement casinos would be a good place to meet people who could introduce you to those games.
For a country in which gambling is mostly illegal, the poker scene in Japan is surprisingly large. And I believe it’s going to get much bigger in the coming few years, as last week Japan's parliament passed a bill legalising casinos. I’m not sure how freely they will be handing out licenses or when then first legal casino will be built and opened but it’s a huge step forward.
Takoyaki
Eating Takoyaki in Osaka is an absolute must, as that’s where it was invented. It’s a cheap and ubiquitous in the city. But I didn’t want to go to just some random Takoyaki stall and try my luck. I, of course, followed another awesome recommendation from Asako.
I tried Takoyaki at Akaoni, otherwise known as Red Ogre, which is so good it’s recommended in the Michelin Guide.
Enjoying sone Michelin Guide recommended Takoyaki. #Osaka #Japan
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And for those wondering what Takoyaki actually is, it’s balls of egg-rich batter with diced octopus inside. A quick, easy and delicious snack, not to mention inexpensive.
Sushi
I’ve probably ate more sushi in the last year than most westerners will eat in their entire lifetime. Still, eating it in Japan is a treat. But I didn’t go to some fancy sushi restaurant. I did the same thing I did on my Tokyo trip in 2012.
I visited Takashimaya which is a very upscale department store. All the upscale department stores have a deli and supermarket in their basement floor that sell incredible but incredibly expensive foods. Still, a pack of fresh sushi would work out cheaper than going to a fancy restaurant, and I was eating alone so to hell with going to a fancy restaurant.
The only problem with the deli and supermarkets in these big department stores is that they have nowhere for you to sit and eat the food. It’s all for taking home. However, and here’s a great tip, if you take the lift and push the button for whatever is the highest floor is, more often than not you will find there is access to the rooftop which will have some benches or some kind of seating area.
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The rooftop of Takashimaya had a few benches and nobody else was there, probably because it was 14 degrees C that afternoon, so I got to sit in peace and enjoy my delicious sushi. And it was fancy restaurant quality sushi for sure.
That box of sushi cost 2400 JPY (£16.30 GBP / $20.35 USD / €19.47 EUR), which I think represents good value.
Pablo - Part 2
For my post-sushi dessert I went back to Pablo. This time to try the food that they are famous for; their freshly baked cheese tarts.
Only I discovered they also have a matcha version of the cheese tart, so screw the original, I went with the matcha.
Warm, freshly baked matcha cheese tart. This is what heaven tastes like! #Osaka #Japan
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I wish I was a good enough writer to explain how delicious that cheese tart was. The pastry was sweet and flaky and the filling was warm and tasted so good that I uncontrollably closed my eyes and made a loud “mmmmmmm” sound on the first mouthful. Orgasmic!
Japanese Sweets
After that cheese tart I had a taste for sweet food. On my way back to my Airbnb I did a bit of shopping for some Japanese confectionary.
I've been out shopping for Japanese confectionary. This is my haul :)
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My favourites out of that lot were the Bake which are sweet cream cheese blocks, the Meiji rich matcha biscuits and the matcha Pocky Midi which are little fat biscuit sticks covered in thick matcha chocolate.
Gym - Part 2
As I sat in my Airbnb surrounded by the empty wrappers of the snacks I’d been eating, I decided I should probably hit the gym. But that meant finding a new gym, as I wasn’t going back to the previous one.
I tried a few possible places but they only do yearly memberships, no daypasses. I then had the bright idea of going to Osaka Swimming Pool which is local government run and has a gym that only costs 650 JPY for a day pass, a third the price I had paid at the last gym.
I wasn’t expecting much, but I knew it couldn’t be any worse than the place I tried a couple of days earlier, and it least it was cheap.
Well I was right in that they had the same ancient equipment, but I was wrong in that it wouldn’t be worse. It was distinctly worse because they only had dumbbells up to 12 Kg. Almost unbelievable that someone would kit out a gym with maximum weights of 12 Kg, but there it was.
I did my best to improvise a workout routine that I could do with those weights and got a half decent workout in regardless. It’s very rare that I’m the biggest and strongest guy in the gym but at that particular gym I certainly was.
Hoshi no Buranko
More exercise the next day as I left the city to go for a hike in Katano, which is halfway between Osaka and Kyoto.
The train I took there was beautiful. It was a double decker with elegant decor and a smell of perfume. One of the nicest trains I've ever been in, and it only cost 370 JPY (£2.51 GBP / $3.14 USD / €3.00 EUR) each way for the 1 hour journey.
Anyone who travels by train in the UK will realise that the Japanese have it pretty good when it comes to train travel.
I hiked out to Hoshi no Buranko (‘swing of the stars’), a 280-meter wooden suspension bridge in Fumin no Mori Hoshida national park.
Hiked out to Hoshi no Buranko, a 280m long suspension bridge in Katano. #Osaka #Japan
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The bridge was very impressive and I crossed it four times. The rest of the hike wasn’t that interesting, just a regular forest, but it was good to plenty of fresh air and exercise.
Dotonbori
I went looking for post-hike food as soon as I got back to Osaka. I walked around the Dotonbori area, which is the touristy, flashing-lights area of the city.
Dotonbori area of Osaka. Lots of people and flashing lights. #Osaka #Japan
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It was absolutely packed full of people as it was Saturday night and every restaurant that I wanted to eat at had a long queue.
Tempura
Eventually I found a good place to eat. It wasn’t recommended to me, and I didn’t find it with online research. I found it by following the smell of tempura, walking into the restaurant and looking at what the customers were eating.
Looked good, smelled good and was indeed very good.
Tempura bowl for dinner. Battered, deep-fried, delicious. #Osaka #Japan
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Tempura is seafood and vegetables that have been battered and deep-fried. The perfect food for a Scotsman in Japan.
Unlike the Kushikatsu, which has a Panko batter, Tempura is battered similar to fish in a British chip shop (or Mars Bars in a Scottish chip shop).
Slightly more healthy than fish and chips from a Scottish chippy though, as the only vegetable we would dream to deep-fry is a potato. Also, Tempura is served with rice rather than chips.
I hope I’m not betraying my country when I say I prefer the Japanese version.
Kyoto
The next day I left Osaka again, this time all the way to Kyoto. Kyoto is the former Imperial capital of Japan so has a lot of history and old pretty buildings and temples. Unfortunately there are a crazy number of tourists there, so many that you can barely walk down the main streets. All the shops and restaurants are aimed at tourists and so are their prices.
I spent a few hours looking around temples in Kyoto when I heard some beautiful music. I followed the sound and found there was an orchestral concert in an outdoor theatre, and it was free.
After the concert I took a train to Arashiyama, where I visited some cute monkeys in a temple that was a steep half hour hike to get to, and then to the reason I came - the bamboo forest.
Taking a wee stroll through the bamboo forest in Arashiyama. #Kyoto #Japan
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It was really impressive but, like everywhere, crowded with tourists.
Katsu Sandwich
After taking the train back to Kyoto I visited a Hafuu Honten, a famous steak restaurant that is in a quiet, nondescript, residential street. There is a usually a two day advanced booking period to get a table there but the menu item that I wanted was available for takeout.
That menu item was a beef cutlet Katsu sandwich.
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It was incredible, and as a sandwich that costs 1,900 JPY (£12.94 GBP / $16.17 USD / €15.46 EUR) it bloody should be incredible! Although I actually think that’s good value considering how good it was.
The panko batter crust was very thin and crispy and the beef was cooked perfectly. Beats eating a Big Mac that’s for sure. I’m going to say that it was my favourite meal of the trip.
Anko Pancakes
Before taking the train back to Osaka I visited Isetan which is a huge luxury department store at Kyoto station. Of course I headed straight down the to bottom floor, where there was sure to be lot of delicious food.
I found a stall selling freshly made Anko pancakes. Anko is a sweet paste made from adzuki beans and is very popular in Japan.
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I bought a dozen but by the time I got back to my Airbnb in Osaka I only had half a dozen. It was an enjoyable train ride.
Universal Studios Japan
The other main reason I came to Osaka (other than the food) was to visit Universal Studios Japan. I’m a big fan of theme parks and spent two days at Disneyland and DisneySea when I was in Tokyo.
I knew ahead of time that USJ is usually very crowded. I found a website that gave estimates of how crowded the park would be on certain days and certain times. It seemed clear I had to go there at 8am on Monday morning, otherwise I’d be spending the whole day stood in queues, and that’s no fun.
I arrived just after 8am and I couldn’t believe how many people were queuing to get in at that time. I stood in line, studying the plan of action I had put together and the map of the park.
As soon as the gates opened I sprinted straight to Hogwarts. The new 4D Harry Potter ride is the most popular ride in the park, and can max out at 180 minutes wait time at peak times. For me it was a 0 minute wait time.
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The ride was incredible, especially when you’re flying around the quidditch stadium on a broom. It just feels so real. The funny thing is that all the characters voices are dubbed in Japanese and I was laughing pretty hard at Hagrid’s voice.
There was still almost no queue when I got off the ride and I thought about going on it for a second time but decided to stick to my original plan. I ran straight to the other epic 4D ride in the park - The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man, which was every bit as good as the Harry Potter ride.
I then ran to the Jurassic Park section for a thrill ride on The Flying Dinosaur roller coaster, which already had a 40 minute wait time by the time I got there. It did, however, have a single rider lane, with only five minutes wait time. I don’t know why people would want to stand in line for 40 minutes just to be able to sit next to their friends on the ride, but they did. The single rider lanes were always almost empty.
It was the same story at the other big roller coaster Hollywood Dream.
In the first hour at the park I was able to ride all the ‘must-ride’ rides in the park, leaving me to spend the rest of the day to enjoy the park and the rest of the rides casually, watch the parade, eat copious amounts of Baskin Robbins and a couple of tasty turkey legs.
Chomping on a delicious turkey leg at Universal Studios Japan. #Osaka #Japan
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I spent about 10 hours in the park and did everything, so was thankful I didn’t buy a two-day pass.
It’s been announced that in 2020 the new Super Nintendo World will open at the park so I will surely be returning when that opens.
CoCo Ichibanya
So far in Osaka I had eaten curry and eaten Katsu, but not eaten a Katsu curry. After visiting USJ I visited CoCo Ichibanya, my favourite Katsu curry restaurant.
They have 27 branches in Thailand, where I’m a Platinum VIP card holder after spending 20,000 Baht (£449 GBP / $558 USD / €535 EUR) there. But I wanted to try the original Japanese version to see if there was any difference.
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Well the meal was excellent as always. The curry sauce tasted the same, the menu items were slightly different, and the meat seemed to be of better quality. The real difference though was in the price, as it was more than double what it is in Thailand (even before my Platinum VIP discount in Thailand).
Still worth paying for though, for what is top notch Japanese curry.
Gym - Part 3
I finally found a good gym. It was a brand new place called Urban Fit24 and it was everything I had originally expected of a gym in Japan. Brand new latest generation equipment and immaculately clean. Members enter the gym by using a fingerprint scanner at the door.
They also really know how to kit out a gym. There were none of the useless equipment, that just wastes space, that you see in most gyms and the free weights section was well equipped, with good power racks.
I’d been used to gyms in Thailand which are equipped terribly and full of the most obnoxious people you can imagine. For example having four Smith Machines but zero squat racks and guys taking their tops off and flexing in the mirror, screaming on every rep, sitting on benches for hours taking selfies and playing Candy Crush.
There was a list of rules at Urban Fit24 that was definitely Japanese style, “no removing clothes, no loud talking, no using smartphone when on equipment”. Perfect, a great environment to work out in. I’ve never had such an enjoyable workout. Not a single obnoxious asshole in the entire gym. Japanese style really does suit me.
I would join that gym in a heartbeat if I lived in Osaka. I just hope their yearly memberships work out cheaper than the exorbitant rate I paid for a day pass.
Ramen
Before leaving Osaka I ‘carbed up’ for the journey with some delicious ramen with 400g of noodles.
Loading up on carbs via Tsukemen dipping ramen with 400g of noodles. #Osaka #Japan
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The type of Ramen I ate was Tsukemen dipping ramen. The Tsukemen soup is so incredibly rich that you’re given it in a separate bowl and then dip your noodles into it for a couple of seconds before putting them in your mouth.
I still drank the remaining soup straight after I finished the noodles. Damn it was strong.
Kuidaore
There is a Japanese word associated with Osaka called ‘Kuidaore’, which means to eat one’s self into ruin by indulging in extravagant foods.
If I stayed in Osaka I don’t know what would come first. Dying of obesity or becoming flat broke, but either way it would happen soon.
A friend asked me what Osaka was like and I told him “It was expensive and delicious”.
Living in Thailand - 2016 Update 27 Oct 2016 12:36 PM (8 years ago)
Two years ago I published a blog about living in Thailand. Since then I’ve written lots about my travels overseas to other countries, however an update on the place that I spend most of my time is well overdue.
The weather, the food and the girls are still hot. The only thing that’s changed recently is the cost of living, for me as a Brit at least. Our currency, Pounds Sterling, is now worth about 25% less against the Thai Baht than it was earlier in the year before the damn Brexit vote.
What makes things worse is knowing that most of the Brits who voted for Brexit never travel overseas, other than a yearly visit to some garbage tourist-trash resort in the south of Spain, so the currency devaluation won’t even affect them.
It’s ok though. Nothing ever stays the same in this world. You just have to adjust to the new normal. And that’s why I’m now taking girls on ice cream dates rather than for dinner. :)
Having said that, Pad Thai and Mango Sticky Rice are still cheap enough to eat on a daily. And after eating them literally hundreds of times over the last 6 years they haven’t become any less delicious.
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I’m still living in Thailand on back-to-back tourist visas, which allow me to stay for 3-months before having to leave the country and come back. I don’t mind the hassle so much as it forces me to travel somewhere new every few months when I might otherwise be feeling too lazy. I’ve had some awesome experiences on those trips as you’ll know if you’ve been reading my trip reports.
I did have an education visa while I was studying at Thai language school. It’s handy being able to speak the local language but I didn’t feel like it was worth the time and money I was investing in it.
After 6 months of school I quit and instead spent that same time and money on a gym membership. Since then, I’ve made made almost zero gains with my Thai language skills but a whole load of fitness gains and that’s fine with me.
Outside of the gym I enjoy running in the parks. Yes, Bangkok is a massive concrete jungle, but it does have a few parks. My favourites being Lumphini and Benjakiti. They're great places to enjoy open space, exercise, fresh air and see some wildlife in an otherwise crowded and polluted city.
And the wildlife doesn’t get any better than the massive monitor lizards that roam around Lumphini park. I always stop to say hi to them when I’m out for a jog.
I’ve mainly stayed put in Bangkok during my time in Thailand. A lot of other poker players who have moved here end up living in Chiang Mai (chill place in the mountains) or Phuket (touristy beach resort) or even one of the small islands. I like those places too but for long term living I much prefer the big city with the big modern malls, 24 hour gyms, 24 hour restaurants and metro / sky trains to get around.
I grew up in a small town in Scotland where there was basically nothing other than a small corner shop, so city life has always been attractive to me and Bangkok is a very liveable city. I’ve met plenty of people who’ve been here as tourists who can’t imagine it being a good place to live, but then I find out that 100% of their experience of Bangkok was staying in some filth-ridden backpacker area like Khao San road, which is 0% of my experience because I wouldn’t step foot in that area if you paid me.
Having said that, I have travelled outside of Bangkok a few times in recent months, to Hua Hin, Chonburi, Chiang Mai and Nong Khai. No visits to any beaches. I know that’s what most people consider to be the best part of Thailand but with ADHD and Scottish genetics I’d be bored and sunburnt after 5 minutes.
My favourite experience so far has been sharing a picnic with some monkeys on top of a small mountain in Hua Hin.
I was with my (now ex, thankfully) Ukrainian girlfriend who grew up in Hua Hin. As always, having someone with local knowledge to show you around ensures that you have exceptional experiences when travelling.
We were visiting a temple that had loads of monkeys running around. I was extremely excited to see them but they were really aggressive, stealing food and hissing at people. She told me that these monkeys are real assholes because they are constantly being annoyed by tourists all day, every day, but she knew where some friendly monkeys live at a mountain near a temple that tourists don’t visit.
So we travelled for half an hour on our rented motorbike up some steep roads, stopping off at a 7-Eleven on the way to buy some food for the monkeys.
And she was right, the monkeys there were so incredibly nice. I can related, I’ll be incredibly nice and shower with hugs anyone who feeds me also.
Having a picnic up a mountain with friendly wild monkeys. #HuaHin #Thailand
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I had a taro-filled bun in my hand that I was feeding to one monkey, but I got distracted by another monkey and closed my fist. The monkey that I was feeding politely tapped my hand until I opened it again and fed him another piece of bun, it was adorable. I’m sure if I tried to feed the monkeys in the tourist area they’d have ripped my fingers off.
Over the last couple of years quite a few poker friends have visited Bangkok.
The Polish fish otherwise known as DaWarsaw was here for 6 months, so it was nice that I was only the second whitest person living in Thailand during that time.
Bad news for him was that the poker site that sponsors him wanted him to live in Poland, so he had to return home. Good news for me was that he didn’t have time to sell his stuff, so I was at his condo an hour before he checked out seeing what I could scavenge.
I’m now the proud owner of a large leather office chair worth 6,500 baht. My big Scottish ass is very comfortable as I write this blog.
My friend Clay, a poker dealer from Las Vegas who I randomly met on a bus in the middle of nowhere in South Africa during the 2010 World Cup, came to stay in Bangkok for a few months. And that was all the time he needed to fall in love with a beautiful Thai girl. They are now married and living happily ever after in the states.
Another poker friend, Kolja from Germany, also came to stay in Bangkok for a short time and fell in love with a Thai girl. He now travels between Germany and Thailand regularly, trying to balance having a full time job as a teacher (if you can call being a teacher full time, they get a ton of holidays) with having a full time Thai girlfriend.
As for me, nearly 6 years here, and the only Thais I’ve fallen in love with were those cute little monkeys that I had a picnic with in Hua Hin.
Spacegravy, sometimes known in real life as Grayson, who I’ve known since battling against him in $16 SNGs over 10 years ago, was here for a short time to check out Thailand as a potential place to live.
Having an ex PokerStars Team Online meetup in Bangkok with Spacegravy. #Bangkok #Thailand
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
As an American pro poker player, he’s basically a refugee - unable to play online in his home country. The land of the free they call it. Unless you want the freedom to gamble with your money over the internet that is.
Grayson liked Thailand but eventually decided to move to South America to make travelling to and from the States easier.
Max Silver and his Irish missus passed through Bangkok on their honeymoon tour of Asia. I planned to take them to a fancy rooftop bar. And we were actually in the place, for all of about 15 seconds before being politely asked to leave.
For once in my life it wasn't my fault that we got kicked out. It was because Max was wearing flip-flops. He was a little embarrassed about it, even more so when I was explaining to strangers in the elevator back down why we got kicked out. (And probably even more so now that I'm telling everyone on my blog - sorry Max!).
I did have a plan B though, and somewhere that Max could meet the dress code. I took the honeymoon couple for a romantic stroll down Soi Cowboy, one of the world’s most famous red light districts.
As you can see, they loved it.
And knowing that Max is a big foodie, I took him to my favourite Thai restaurant which is a small family run joint hidden up a narrow residential street. Flip-flops allowed. I’ve had several of the best meals of my life in that place and I always take visitors to Bangkok there, to give them an experience they wouldn’t get as a regular tourist following a guidebook.
Another Max, Max Greenwood, who I first met in Vegas over 9 years ago, flew into Bangkok from Canada with his girlfriend to start their tour of South-East Asia. Just like the other Max, he is a massive foodie so I took him to that same awesome restaurant. Oh, and to Chatuchak Market for some cheap but delicious coconut ice cream
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Vers and Cardlo69, two SNG players who I’ve known online for a decade, were in town while backpacking around Thailand and neighbouring countries. I arranged to meet them in a fancy new mall for lunch and the pair of them turned up looking like they were dressed for the beach.
They were a bit offended when I burst out laughing upon seeing them. I’m certainly no fashionista - in fact I’m a right scruffy bastard who rarely has an opportunity to look down on anyone else’s choice of clothing. However this was one of those rare occasions. “I mean, come on, you’re in a mall in a big city wearing stringer vests, small shorts and flip-flops for crying out loud!” I told them.
As we ate lunch I learned about how they were getting scammed a lot, including paying almost triple the correct fare for their taxi from the airport, which they didn't even know was too much until I told them.
“No wonder”, I said, “If I was a Thai that was looking to scam some tourists and I saw you two walking down the street wearing beer logo vests and looking clueless, I’d be sure as hell I found myself a couple of marks”.
They were getting the worst experience of Bangkok, while at the same time thinking it was good. They told me the foot massage they had on Sukhumvit Road was great and the Thai food they’ve been eating on Khao San road was excellent. Then I took them to a big fancy spa that is as cheap as than the small crummy massage joints on the tourist streets but actually has properly trained, professional staff, and of course to my favourite local Thai restaurant.
The bar was then set miles higher for what constitutes an excellent massage or meal in Bangkok.
Some of my best experiences of travelling were when I had someone local to show me around. Since I’m practically a Bangkok local at this stage, it makes me happy that I can help my friends have a much better experience of Bangkok when they visit.
So here’s a good tip for any of my readers planning to visit Bangkok. If you want the fastest, least safe but most fun way to get around the city, look for the guys wearing orange jackets.
Peace!
Yangon, Myanmar - Trip Report. 30 Aug 2016 4:51 AM (8 years ago)
Since I don’t want to get a job, go to school or marry a Thai girl, I’m still living in Thailand by means of back-to-back tourist visas. This requires me to briefly leave the country every 3 months. I usually try to make the most of these visa-runs by visiting other parts of Asia that I haven’t been to yet and which interest me.
The only nearby country I hadn’t visited yet was Myanmar (formerly Burma). It was at the very bottom of my list but after more than 5 years of visiting other neighbouring countries multiple times, it was about time that I checked it out.
Flight
I chose to visit Yangon (formerly Rangoon), the largest city in Myanmar, because there is a Thai embassy there and it’s just a 1 hour, 1300 Baht (28 GBP / 37.50 USD) flight from Bangkok.
That’s the price flying with the Thai budget airline Nok Air.
Like the budget airlines in the UK, you have to go to some spartan departure gate that’s all the way at the ass-end of the airport and then spend 15 minutes being transported like cattle to the plane in an overcrowded bus.
But unlike the budget airlines that we’re used to in the UK, Nok Air gives you free checked-baggage, a pastry snack and water and in-flight WiFi included in the cheap base fare.
This is a good tip for anyone who is going to be traveling around Thailand or to neighbouring countries. Nok Air is almost always the cheapest and provides a much better service than Air Asia. It usually doesn’t appear on booking sites like Kayak so you have to go to their website directly when looking for flights.
Money
In Myanmar US dollars are accepted almost anywhere. Sounds convenient until you realise that the standard rate that retailers charge, of $1 to every 1000 Kyat, is overcharging you by about 15% on the interbank exchange rate. They also won’t accept US notes with even the slightest crease or mark on them.
Having done my research in advance, I bought some Myanmar Kyat at Super Rich in Bangkok for only 0.5% off the interbank rate before going..
A 5,000 Kyat note makes for a good souvenir to keep if you love elephants. It’s only $4.20 USD.
Kilts
The most notable thing I observed on my taxi ride from the airport into the city was that the majority of men were wearing a Longyi, which is something like a sarong or a casual kilt. Well I’m Scottish, so get it round me.
The first thing I did in Yangon was procure myself a Longyi and I wore that Burmese kilt the whole day while I explored the city. I got plenty lot of strange looks from the locals.
Some people laughed at me and others gave me nice comments and wanted to take photos with me. It’s probably how I’d react if, for instance, I saw a Japanese guy walking around Edinburgh in a Scottish Kilt. Something you may only see once in your life, if at all.
Shwedagon Pagoda
The only real interesting attraction in Yangon is Shwedagon Pagoda. I think I’ve seen enough temples in my life that I’d be totally cool with never visiting another one ever again, but options for things to do were very limited so I went anyway.
I arrived just after midday when it was scorching hot. They made me remove my socks and shoes at the entrance to the huge complex and right there I knew I was in trouble. The floor was completely made of marble and every step burned the soles of my feet. I tried to stick to the shadows but it was impossible. To get from one area to the other I had to run as fast as I could to minimise the time my feet were in contact with the ground. And because of that, sweat was pissing out of my pores.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
It is a beautiful place but the profuse sweating and burnt feet took away from the experience. If you plan on going, learn from my mistakes and visit in the evening instead.
I only stayed in Yangon for one night, picking my new Thai visa up from the embassy the next afternoon and flying back to Bangkok. But that was 3 months ago. I returned for another visa run last week, knowing how quick, cheap and easy the trip would be.
Train Ride
I noticed that there was a small railway station near my hotel and did some research on where it goes. It turns out that it was the Yangon Circular Railway line that is used for people to commute cheaply into Yangon from the surrounding suburban areas. It goes through 39 stations on a 46km loop and takes 3 hours to get back to return to where you boarded.
This seemed like a fun way to spend the afternoon and at only 200 Kyat (0.12 GBP / $0.16 USD) for a ticket, the price was right.
They leave the doors on the train open during the ride so rather than take a seat I just stood in the doorway, getting an unobstructed view of the scenery, the breeze in my hair and a bit of a thrill as I was hanging out superman style and having to pull myself back in when there were obstacles that could kill me.
A video posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I did this for the full three hours. Never got bored.
At almost every station there are hawkers selling food. Some of them would jump on the train, and walk down the aisle selling tasty snacks such as samosas and chopped pineapple.
The train ride was a good way to see a lot more of Yangon quickly, cheaply and easily. There was beautiful scenery, then there were big piles of garbage. There were quaint farming villages, then there were giant slums. There were groups of Buddhist monk children, then there were a group of men cock fighting (that’s with cockerels, not with their penises just to be clear).
Like I said, never boring, always something interesting to observe and think about.
Food
The rest of my time in Yangon was spent eating.
Earlier this year a photograph of mine won me $2,000 worth of Shangri-La Golden Circle points in a social media competition that they ran related to loyalty.
I’m planning to spend the full two grand on food rather than hotel credit and have been indulging regularly at the luxurious buffet at the Shangri-La Bangkok. There is also a Shangri-La hotel in Yangon so I made sure to pay it a visit on an empty stomach.
The national dish of Myanmar is Mohinga which is a rice noodle, catfish, curry soup. There are hawkers selling it on the street for 500 Kyat ($0.42 USD / 0.32 GBP) but my first time eating it was the $11 USD version at the Shangri-La. Priced in dollars rather than the local currency, I’m sure, because only foreigners would pay that much for a bowl of Mohinga.
Curry never photographs well, but here it is anyway:
It was incredibly delicious. The broth was very rich, with a unique flavour so I don’t have anything I can say it tasted similar to. I’d happily eat it regularly if I lived in Myanmar.
I balanced the high class food at the Shangri-La with a lot of cheap street food when I was exploring Yangon. It’s very much like Bangkok where you could just choose any random street to walk down and more than likely there will be some delicious food.
Myanmar is close to Thailand, China and India and these countries all have an influence on the cuisine. One of the most common street food snacks is samosas, which are irresistible. To be honest, any food that is deep fried and cheap is irresistible to a Scotsman.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
After already eating way more than my fair share of samosas during my stay in Yangon, the day I checked out the hotel they had samosas at the breakfast buffet. If cheap samosas were irresistible, what were unlimited free samosas? They were a one way ticket to a full, aching belly that I was rubbing all the way to the airport.
Manila - Trip Report 5 Apr 2016 7:51 AM (9 years ago)
After another three months in Thailand my visa expired, meaning it was travel time. After living in Thailand for the best part of five years I'd already visited just about every country in Asia when it came time to do a visa run. Not the Philippines though.
The most obvious choice for a trip to Philippines would have been Cebu. It's very touristy with lots of nice beaches. I'm not that big on beaches, or tourists for that matter, so I chose to go to the big dirty city of Manila - just a 3 hour direct flight from Bangkok.
The start to my trip wasn't great. I was in Manila for less than a minute before getting scammed by a policeman for 200 Pesos. (100 Pesos = $2.15 USD = £1.52 GBP)
I'd just cleared customs and was looking to buy a local prepaid 3G SIM card. That's standard practise when I arrive in any country, but I especially needed it on this trip to contact my Airbnb host to get the keys for the condo unit I was renting.
Strangely, I couldn't find a kiosk selling SIM cards. I knew that there had to be at least one somewhere so I asked the policeman guarding the door, who immediately called over the boss policeman, who immediately whipped out a massive stack of SIM cards from his pocket. "Yes, I sell the SIM cards here, which one do you want?".
It was obviously very sketchy. I assumed that the police probably stop anyone selling SIM cards there so that they can sell them themselves and get the commission from them. Oh well, what did I care? And what choice did I have? He made it seem like he was selling the SIM cards at face value and I needed one and had nowhere else to get one.
I required a 300 Peso SIM card so that I could activate the 7 day internet package for 299 Pesos. The policeman insisted on taking my phone and setting up the SIM for me. I'd rather do it myself, but he insisted. That took him about 5 minutes, then I handed him the 300 Pesos. "No, it's 500" he snapped, with my phone still in his hand. "Sorry?" I asked. "300 Pesos for the credit and 200 for the SIM card" he informed me. What a dirty scam, but what could I do? I paid him and took my phone.
He then said he'd get a taxi for me. "No thanks mate, I'm going to the metered taxi queue over there" I told him. As I walked over I saw a small vending machine selling the 300 Peso SIM cards for 300 Pesos. Bastard!!!!
It wasn't until I was in the taxi that I realised that police sergeant Bastard didn't even set up my phone properly, Not only that but he kept the little setup information pamphlet that came with the SIM card. Fortunately I took a stab at creating default 'internet' APN and it worked, otherwise I'd have been screwed.
Obviously the amount of money I was scammed for was very small but still, it really pissed me off. I'm very experienced at travelling in third world Asian countries and thought I knew every scam in the book. Defeat isn't easy to accept, especially to a policeman. There's nothing you can do about it.
Condo
I decided to use Airbnb on this trip as there were properties listed that were twice as good and half the price of staying in hotels.
I rented a nice modern studio unit on the 44th floor of Birch Towers in Malate for $30 USD per night (after negotiating a small discount with the owner), which had a balcony with an amazing view of Manila.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Possibly one of the best bargains I've ever had when it comes to travel accommodation. The building even had a gym with freeweights so I was able to get some decent workouts in while I was staying there.
If you sign up for Airbnb with my referral link you'll get a $35 USD / 25 GBP travel credit. I don't ever recommend anything unless I personally use it and think it's awesome. If you travel and haven't used Airbnb yet you really need to give it a go. You will save money and stay in cool and unique accommodation.
Hiking
I got about 5 hours sleep before waking up at 3am to go on a hike outside of the city. I'd read in fellow traveler's blog about Mount Pico de Loro and decided to follow his itinerary to get there via public transport.
In my opinion reading blogs is the best way to find fun and interesting things to do on your travels. If you do what most people do - visit the "Top Things to Do" on Trip Advisor or a Lonely Planet book, then you're just going to end up at a bunch of tourist traps with a bunch of other sweaty white people.
I stuffed a small backpack with beef jerky and bottles of green tea and headed to the station to find the bus going to Ternate, Cavite.
I asked the driver when it was leaving and he said the bus leaves when it's full. Even though there were plenty of available double-seats on the bus I chose to sit next to the smallest, skinniest girl on the bus rather than leave it up to randomness. Clearly the best strategy if you're 100% going to have to sit next to someone.
The bus became full after 20 minutes but the engine didn't start. Their idea of full is when the aisle in the middle is full of people standing. When that happened off we went, straight onto the motorway. Seems safe.
The only option to get from the bus drop-off point in the small town of Ternate to the mountain is by trike. Trikes are a common form of transport in Philippines and are just regular motorbikes with a metal side car attached to them. Seems safe.
Before coming to the Philippines I'd read in some blogs about four or even 5 people sharing one trike to save money. Well I, alone, barely squeezed into the tin can that was attached to the bike.
After a rickety 40 minute journey and a few bangs to the head I arrived at the base of the mountain in the national park, ready to get some good exercise and fill my lungs with fresh air.
Early in the trail I had to walk through a stream full of large rocks. My foot slipped on one of the rocks and I looked down and only then did I realise that I was wearing the wrong shoes. I was wearing a pair of casual Sketchers memory-foam shoes that are super comfortable but not exactly suitable for hiking.
I decided to just power on and be extra careful with my footing.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
After an hour and a half of hiking without a break I reached a small camp site near the summit of the mt. Pico de Loro - Spanish for 'The Parrot's Beak'. It's clear from the photo I took why it has this name.
The camp site was set up by locals who live there and make a living from selling simple selling rice meals, instant noodles and bottles of water and Gatorade to hikers - at an enormous mark-up.
That mark-up seemed justified after witnessing how they brought their goods to the top of the mountain.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
At the summit is a huge monolith rock which is climbable. It's a little bit dangerous but the locals have attached ropes to the two toughest parts of the climb.
I met two 18 year old guys there who live at a village nearby and have climbed the rock about 20 times. They were extremely friendly. Friendly enough that I trusted one of them with my camera, worth about 3 months average Filipino salary, to take photos while his friend went ahead of me to show me how to climb the monolith.
I told him that I brought the wrong shoes and wasn't feeling comfortable climbing the monolith in them. He just laughed and pointed down to his own footwear - a cheap pair of flip-flops. He the went ahead and climbed the monolith so fast that I had to climb just as fast to keep up with him so that I could copy his footing. No time to look down or be scared.
What an incredible feeling it was standing on that rock and taking in the 360 degree view.
On the way back down the monolith, when I was using one of the ropes to rappel, my foot slipped and I smashed my elbow and head into hard rock. Little bit of bleeding but nothing serious. I just held onto the rope and regained my footing. Just as well that I can hold my body weight easily as letting go of that rope would have been a death sentence.
Getting down the the mountain was much more difficult that getting up it. The top is very steep with lots of loose stones so I played it safe, got on my arse and shuffled down.
Halfway back down I was trekking through the jungle and met a dude who was resting. He injured his knee and was waiting there for his friends to come back who went ahead to climb the monolith. He had brought food with him - Chicken Adobo and rice - that he offered to share with me.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Filipinos are incredibly friendly. I must have crossed paths with about 30 people on my way up and down the mountain and every one of them smiled and spoke to me, even if it was just "hi!".
When you spend most of your life living in a city you get used to ignoring strangers. Just walking by people all the time without even looking at them. Then you go climb a mountain in the Philippines and someone you met just 15 seconds ago is offering to share their meal with you.
I continued back down the mountain and drank the last of the green tea I brought. I was getting quite thirsty but found a small stream. The water looked clear and fresh but I wasn't sure if it was safe to drink.
I remembered hearing something like if you take the water flowing fast over rocks that's the safest water to collect from a stream. And it's a mountain, the water couldn't be coming from anywhere that it could be contaminated. So I filled a bottle and it was crystal clear. I tasted it and it tasted as good as expensive bottled mineral water.
It was so cold and refreshing that I sat there and drank 2 litres of it. I then continued my journey, to reach the base of the mountain only 15 minutes later, where they were selling bottles of water. Doh.
I asked the DENR staff "the water from that stream, it's safe to drink right?". They looked shocked and said "no, no it's not". I asked them "really? you guys never drink from there?". They looked at me like I was crazy - "no, no way, it will make you sick".
Fortunately I didn't get sick but drinking all that water still turned out to be a bad idea. During the bus ride back to Manila I was absolutely bursting for a leak. With more than an hour of the journey remaining and the pressure on my bladder excruciatingly painful I did the only thing that I could do.
I sat near the back of the bus where there were no passengers, closed the curtain for privacy and pulled out an empty green tea bottle from my bag. Now, being an online poker professional, I'm no stranger to the act of urinating into a bottle, but never in a moving vehicle and always with a large wide-mouthed bottle. This was a challenge.
As the bus rattled around, driving fast over the bumpy road, I sat on the edge of my seat, slid up the leg of my shorts and carefully lined up my chaps-eye with the mouth of the bottle. I thought about how lucky I was to be a guy. What would a female do in this situation? The relief I felt was incredible, for all of about 5 seconds before the bus hit a bump and I was peeing all over my hand, leg and the back of the seat in-front.
After re-gaining my composure I quickly filled up the 500ml bottle before I was anywhere near done. Uh-oh. With one hand being used to temporary stop the flow and the other hand being used to hold the full bottle I was in a tricky situation.
As I sat there, on public transport, covered in dirt and sweat from the hike, penis in one hand and a hot bottle of yellow piss in the other, I was just happy that nobody could see me at one of the least finest moments in my life.
I placed the bottle between my knees, freeing my right hand so that I could find the bottlecap and secure it. Of course as soon as the bottle was between my knees - BUMP, SPLASH.
While filling up the second bottle I had a sweat. Was I going to need a third bottle? Fortunately I made it with 50ml to spare. What a relief.
I had brought a pack of anti-bacterial wet-wipes with me so I was able to clean myself up, as wekk as the floor and the back of the chair in front. Just as well because about 10 minutes later we passed through a town and the bus filled with passengers.
Next hike I'm bringing proper shoes, filtered water bottle and a urethral catheter. Lessons learned!
Poker
I played some poker at City of Dreams which is one of the big new Macau-style casino resorts in the Manila Bay area. The poker room has nice tables with big leather executive office style chairs at every seat, well trained dealers and floor staff and free drinks.
Unfortunately smoking is allowed right outside the poker area and as I was only 2 meters from the rail I had to deal with a lot of second-hand smoke. Very disgusting, I could smell the smoke coming out of my hair when I had a shower that night.
I would consider pending a whole month in Manila in the near future and just grinding live poker. There's loads of casinos and card clubs there and the games feel quite soft compared to just about anywhere else.
Intramuros
I spent an afternoon in Intramuros - 'the Walled City'. It's the oldest district in Manila, surrounded by walls that were built in the late 16th century.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Many party of Manila feel very sketchy and unsafe to walk around in but that wasn't the case in Intramuros. Most of the buildings are used for government departments and also a large university. There's police everywhere. It's a very safe and friendly place to walk around and the people there are very friendly.
Everywhere I walked girls and effeminate dudes were saying "hi" to me. As I walked by one of them would see me and then nudge the others and they'd all stare at me. I guess they don't get many white guys walking around their neighbourhood.
I felt like an alien. But a loved alien. A group of 8 university girls even asked to have their photo taken with me. Maybe they confused me for Brad Pitt or something? Who knows?
As I walked into one street the smell of barbecued meat hit me right away and so I instinctively followed that smell.
A kid was grilling up lots of different meats that I had no idea what they were, But they smelled good so I bought three sticks. They tasted as good as they smelled. Hopefully what I consumed was pork, chicken and beef rather than rat, cat and dog.
Wakeboarding
During my time in Manila I was lucky enough to make a new friend. Elle is an Aussie-bred Aussie-bred Hawaiian-Venezuelan-Filipina girl who is really into wakeboarding.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
It's always awesome to meet someone who has a cool skill. It's even more awesome when they're willing to teach you that skill. Elle took me to the wake park in her dad's Jeep the day after I met her.
My first attempt at wakeboaring resulted in me face-planting so hard that I hit the water before I even had time to close my mouth and eyes. Yet another mouth full of dirty water on this trip!
I did manage to stay up on my fourth attempt though.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Wakeboarding is a lot of fun, even as a beginner. I could get used to the lifestyle, hanging around the wake park in the sun sipping cold drinks then grabbing my board and whizzing around the water.
I hadn't been much impressed with Filipino food during my trip. It was my last night in Manila so Elle took me to one of her favourite restaurants so that I could try some good Filipino food before I left. Snails in coconut milk - yes it's delicious. You have to try it if you go to the Philippines.
Thai Visa
The reason I travelled to Manila was to get a new visa from the Thai embassy there. Unfortunately, for the first time in my life my application was rejected for a very small reason that I could have easily rectified if I had time. I left my application to the last minute though and they wouldn't accept a bribe "sorry sir. we do not accept 'extra payment' in lieu of the required documentation".
I got back into Thailand on a 30 day visa-waiver so expect me to be travelling again soon. I'm thinking of going to Burma as it's right next to Thailand and so is extremely cheap and quick to travel to.
Vietnam - Trip Report 12 Jan 2016 3:41 AM (9 years ago)
I had previously visited Vietnam in 2011 but missed out on a lot as I'd only spent time in and around Ho Chi Minh City. Needing to leave Thailand again for a visa run and having a friend who lives in Hanoi, I decided to return to Vietnam to check out more of the country.
I flew to Hanoi direct from Bangkok, in business class, with Qatar Airways on a short 90 minute flight. The return ticket cost me 18,000 Avios (British Airways miles) + £98 GBP in fees. Sure, for the same as I paid in fees I could have bought a cash ticket on a budget airline like Air Asia, but for much better take-off times and the opportunity to fly business class with one of the best airlines in the world I was happy to flick in the extra 18K Avios.
The first thing I did when I arrived there was to buy cheap local SIM card with data from a kiosk at the airport and then book a ride to the city with the Uber app. I chose to use Uber Black and was driven to the city in a nice new SUV for 25% less than the flat fare of a standard Vietnamese taxi and also got a further large discount for using a first ride promotion code. Isn't technology brilliant?
I stayed in a nice hotel in the old quarter. Just as well that the hotel was quiet, clean and nice because it was in contrast to the noise, dirt and chaos on the streets outside - the like of which you could only find in a busy city in a developing country. It was brilliant.
Hanoi traffic. Good luck crossing the road. #Hanoi #Vietnam
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I met my friend Kat and we went to eat at one of the best 'Pho' joints in Hanoi - Pho Gia Truyen. Pho is rice noodles, generally served in a broth with herbs and meat and is one of the most famous Vietnamese dishes.
Best way to begin a trip to Hanoi. Eat Pho with a Vietnamese girl. #Pho #Hanoi #Vietnam
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
The joint was packed with locals so I knew I was going to be eating some delicious and authentic local food.
Quite often when you eat cheap food in Asia it's very carb-heavy, but my 50,000 dong (£1.51 GBP / $2.22 USD) bowl of Beef Pho was filled with as much beef as noodles. Very delicious, nutritious and the perfect start to my trip to Vietnam. The fact that I was eating it with a beautiful Vietnamese girl made it only better.
Apparently I'd been pronouncing "pho" wrong all my life though. It's not pronounced like "foe", it's pronounced like "fuh". Anyway, it was pho-cking delicious.
From my experience of visiting Ho Chi Minh city in 2011 I held the opinion that Vietnam was one of the worst countries in the world for a tourist to visit as far as people harassing and trying to scam you goes. Of course I was staying in the middle of a tourist area and was much more naive back then but it seemed that everywhere I went I was being approached by shady characters and was constantly being overcharged or scammed in some way.
On this trip almost everywhere I went in Hanoi I was with my local friend. Nobody approached us when we were together and I paid the local price for everything. I enjoyed the experience much more since I didn't have to keep my guard up all the time. There were a couple of occasions where Kat, who's a successful model, had to go for a casting or shoot for a couple of hours and so I'd go out alone. The motorbike drivers on the corner of every street were asking me where I was going and offering me weed and prostitutes but I just point blank ignored them and it wasn't a problem.
After eating the pho we went exploring for more food and ended up at this classy joint:
I had a big tasty sweet potato fritter for only 8,000 dong (0.24 GBP / $0.35 USD). I'm guessing it was so cheap because his overheads are about as low as they could possibly be.
Next up on the food adventure was 'Banh Cuon' which is a sheet of fermented rice batter filled with seasoned ground pork and mushrooms.
To me it looked more like the lady was making a haggis, but thankfully it tasted a lot better than that.
People in the restaurant were looking at me and talking about me in quite an obvious manner so I asked Kat to translate what they were saying. Apparently they all thought I was crazy for wearing shorts and t-shirt. It was 18 degrees C with zero wind and every Vietnamese person was wearing a thick winter jacket like it was freezing. Incredible.
With full bellies we visited the weekend night market, which is full of tourist tat. Although I did manage to find some quality gear there:
Kat begged me to take off the hat and glasses because she was embarrassed to be seen with me, but I knew how brilliant I looked so I stubbornly kept them on. She threatened to leave me there if I didn't take them off, but I called her bluff.
We then took a lovely walk around Hoan Kiem Lake where every local that we passed was staring at me, saying stuff in Vietnamese and laughing. I even had several fans ask for photos.
"This is ridiculous." Kat said, "Everyone is looking at us. You're tall, you're foreign, you're wearing shorts and t-shirt in the winter, sunglasses at night and a really stupid Minions hat. PLEASE TAKE THEM OFF!"
I told her that it was fine because "I don't live here. I'll never see these people again."
"Well I do and I will!!! Please take them off!"
I eventually agreed to take off the hat and glasses if she'd finally put on the cute bear hat I bought for her. Seemed like a fair trade - me looking stupid for her looking cute. People didn't stop staring at us though.
Kat took me to a popular local ice cream shop called Kem Trang Tien which was like a big indoor car park, with about 100 people standing around eating ice cream next to their motorbikes.
The ice cream was 10,000 dong per cone (£0.30 GBP / $0.44 USD) and tasted very ordinary although the experience of doing what the locals do at one of their popular hang-out locations was worth a lot.
As we walked back to the hotel late at night I had the urge for just a little more food. Kat suggested I try a bowl of 'Bun Oc', which I didn't realise until it was served is snail noodle soup.
Vietnam was formally a French colony as part of French Indochina (with Cambodia and Laos) from 1887-1954. That's why there's a lot of snail, frog, rabbit and baguettes in Vietnamese cuisine still to this day.
The next morning we were back out food exploring. For breakfast I wanted to eat something that was uniquely local but that I'd actually enjoy eating - i.e. something without snails.
Kat took me through a local fresh food market to a stall where she said the lady was famous for making the best 'Bun Cha' in the city. Bun cha is grilled seasoned fatty pork meat on white rice noodles. At this stall the meat was clamped between bamboo sticks and barbecued before being served in a soup.
The bacon-y smell was incredible and I was salivating while waiting for my bowl to be served.
I'd say that this bun cha, along with the beef pho I had the day before, was the best thing I ate on the trip. Top notch.
We spent the rest of the day sightseeing, with Kat driving me around on the back of her motorbike. I'm so glad I didn't have to be the one driving in the crazy Hanoi traffic.
The most interesting place we visited was Hoa Lo Prison aka the Hanoi Hilton. It was built by the French to hold political prisoners and then by the communist Vietnamese to hold prisoners during the Vietnam war. Now it's a museum.
They proudly display the jumpsuit and gear of John McCain, that old American politician, who spent some time in the prison in the late 60's after getting captured during the war.
The next day I travelled to Ha Long for a 3 day cruise in Halong Bay. I invited Kat but she had work commitments so I went solo.
I had booked the cruise after doing a considerable amount of research using TripAdvisor and other resources. There are very many cruise operators and agents selling Halong Bay cruises but I decided to go direct with Indochina Junk.
Indochina Junk have an exclusive license with the government to operate in Bai Tu Long Bay, which makes up about 3/4 of the Halong Bay UNESCO world heritage site. The other part of Halong Bay has literally hundreds of boats operating there at any one time, and that was a common negative comment that I read through all the TripAdvisor reviews.
Please note that I was given a media discount when purchasing the cruise but that doesn't have any affect on my opinion.
The itinerary I chose was a 3 day - 2 night cruise on their Dragon's Pearl boat. It has 11 cabins so it's large enough to make some friends but small enough to be a peaceful and relaxing experience.
The rooms were basically like small hotel rooms, with air conditioning units and en-suite bathrooms with unlimited hot water. What made it better than a hotel room though was an ever-changing view from the window of one of the most beautiful places in the world.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I was a little worried that I'd be lonely staying on boat for 3 days by myself but thankfully there was a good mix of good people on board who I got on great with.
There was a newly married Aussie couple who both serve in the Australian army, a young Dutch couple who quit their jobs to travel the world for a year, another young couple from California who took a couple of weeks break from their tech jobs, an Aussie woman with her 14 year old son, a quiet girl from Texas, a guy from Hawaii with dreadlocks who runs a non-profit company that provides surfing lessons to underprivileged kids and a Singaporean family. Great mix of people.
We spent the first couple of hours of cruising though the bay, with most of us on the sun deck marvelling at the breathtaking scenery. There were no polluted waters, strewn with garbage, like many of the reviews from people visiting Halong Bay had mentioned. As I previously mentioned, this was because the 99% of other boats in the bay are not allowed to sail through Bai Tu Long Bay where were.
We were then given a cooking class by our onboard chef, who taught us how to make Vietnamese spring rolls.
We made plenty and ate them straight after.
We spent the last hour before sunset in kayaks, giving us some exercise and a lot of freedom to explore the bay independently.
In the evening our chef made us a big dinner. My appetite is much larger than 'big' though, and I was nowhere near full. I'd been on a 3,500 calorie per day diet for a few months so going from that to eating the same sized portions as regular people would have been painful. The chef was very thoughtful though. After the waiter told him that I was still hungry he went back into the kitchen and made me an omelette.
We spent the night time on the sun deck under the stars chatting. Most of the group brought their duvets out from their rooms which was hilarious to me as it was only about 16 degrees C and I was still in shorts.
Everyone went to bed super early, like 9:30 pm, except for me and the Aussies who did some squid fishing from the front of the boat. We stayed up for hours and only managed to catch one baby, which we threw back. Shame because a calamari breakfast would have been lovely.
On our second day we did more cruising and more kayaking.
This time we visited a hidden lagoon. There was a narrow path of water which led to a large enclosed area which was just stunning.
We spent at least two hours in the kayaks, exploring the rock formations and small caves.
When we finally made it back to the boat my arms were aching. I'd been paddling solo whereas everyone else had been in tandem kayaks. Good workout though!
In the late afternoon we spent a couple of hours on a beach on a tiny island.
Everyone was relaxing as they were so tired from the long kayaking session earlier. The only ones with energy left were me and Tom, the 14 year old Aussie kid. We were having sprinting races along the beach, and the dogs belonging to the few guys who live on and maintain the island joined in with us.
We then took a tandem kayak out into the sea and tried to hijack one of Indochina Junk's small private boats. "Yar - har - fiddle-dee-dee, being a pirate is all right with me! Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate!" we sang as we paddled.
When we got to the small boat I screamed in my best pirate voice "Arrrrr, put your hands in the air. We are mighty pirates, we're here to rape and pillage!". The captain of the boat then ran and pulled up the ladders so that we couldn't board. We tried to board on the other side but they started the engine and took off, with everyone on board laughing. Pirating isn't as easy as you'd have thought. I guess I'll just stick to pirating episodes of Game of Thrones.
By the time we go back to the island it was getting dark and spitting with rain. It turns out that everyone on the island had been waiting a while for us to paddle back so that they could board the tender back to the boat. "Where have you guys been?" Tom's mother asked. "Arrrrrrrrrr" I responded.
In the evening we returned to the island. This time it was to enter the large cave where we would eat a special dinner.
It's incredible what they've done with the cave. They have it all lit up with small candles and there's rose petals scattered everywhere.
BBQ dinner in a small island cave in Bai Tu Long Bay. #Vietnam #indochinajunk
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
We were served a large BBQ dinner. I lost count of how many courses there were. They served me a double portion of everything, without me asking, which was really thoughtful of them.
With each course that was served they laid various ornaments that were freshly carved out of fruit on the table. Wonderful craftsmanship that took hours of work. They really put a lot of effort into making it a special occasion for us.
As it was the Aussie couple's honeymoon they were presented with a surprise cake after the meal. "You're going to share that, right?" I asked.
Waking up on the 3rd day I soaked in the fresh air and stunning view, sad that it was the last day on the boat.
Waking up to this view never gets old. #halongbay #vietnam #indochinajunk
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
After checking out of our rooms we visited a small fishing village where the residents live on floating houses. Apparently they used to live in the caves until the government gave them grants to build the houses in recent years.
It was fascinating to observe their way of life. This is a photo of their local supermarket:
Back in Hanoi I spent another couple of days with my good friend Kat. We did a little bit of sightseeing, visiting Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum, which contains his embalmed body.
And the war museum which has some old Vietnamese and American planes from the war.
I would have enjoyed the war museum much more if I hadn't already been to the one in Saigon which is 10x bigger and better.
Of course most of my sightseeing time was spent doing more local food exploring.
Feeling adventurous I tried 'Balut' which is a fertilised duck egg.
I though this was going to be absolutely disgusting. I'd seen photos online where you could see the head of the embryo / fetus (type 'balut' into google images). The one I was served didn't look bad at all, with nothing that resembled a creature. I think the lady had chopped off the head when she de-shelled it for me.
As for the taste, well it tasted just like an egg, but with the crunchy texture of the unborn bird to go along with it. I wouldn't say it was delicious but I'd happily eat it again. A decent protein snack.
Something that I would say was delicious and I'd happily eat every day was 'Nem Cua Be', which is crab spring rolls, made by these two girls:
Crispy fried pastry surrounding a large portion of delicious crab meat and vegetables.
The final meal of the trip was also notable, as Kat took me to one of her favourite restaurants. They make five unusual variations of pho.
We tried two. The first was 'Pho Cuon'. which is beef and vegetables wrapped like a spring roll with flat pho.
And the second was 'Pho Xao', which is deep-fried pho.
Very nice and crispy, like onion rings.
This was my second visit to Vietnam but I still plan on returning in the near future. I'd like to do a mountain trek in Sapa when the weather is warmer as well as check out Nha Trang which is famous for it's beaches and clear waters, perfect for scuba diving.
There's a lot of Vietnamese food I've still to try also!
Taiwan - Trip Report 22 Dec 2015 12:58 AM (9 years ago)
Taiwan was one of the few countries in Asia that I hadn't yet visited.
Needing to leave Thailand briefly for visa reasons, I saw some good value direct flights from Bangkok to Taipei with Tiger Airways and decided to fly there for a 6 day stay.
Hotels are quite expensive in Taipei when compared to some other Asian cities. A room is around 3x the price that it is in Bangkok for the same standard and in the equivalent location.
Fortunately I found some good value, thanks to Airbnb, in a small 4-floor apartment building that had been converted into hotel rooms. A real hotel room, in the same central location next to metro station and of the same standard would have cost over $100 USD per night. These privately rented hotel rooms cost only $64 USD (42.50 GBP) per night.
I had $275 of free Airbnb credit from making referrals (thank you so much to everyone who signed up using my link) so I only had to pay $109 for the full 6 night stay.
When I arrived in Taipei it was lashing down with rain - not the best start to the trip. I hung out in a bar until the rain stopped and was fortunate enough to make some friends there. When the rain finally stopped we went to a local restaurant together.
I was very keen to try some local Taiwanese food. I'm a lot more adventurous now than I was when I first travelled to Asia. I have memories of myself and Amatay running around Hong Kong desperately trying to find a KFC or Pizza Hut because the local grub was unappealing.
We were handed a menu which was just a bunch of Chinese characters with no photos. If I had turned up at this restaurant alone I'd probably be on my way out the door and looking for nearest American fast food franchise. So I was very grateful to be with friendly locals who explained each dish to me and ordered food that they knew I'd enjoy.
We ate a bunch of different dishes including Mapo Tofu, Hainanese Chicken and something unpronounceable which was a stir-fry of squid legs, pork and vegetables. All very healthy and nutritious - a world away from Chinese restaurant food back in the UK.
Made some local friends and ate some local food. #Taipei #Taiwan
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
After dinner we went for some Taiwanese Bubble Tea at a chain called 50 Lan. I enjoy drinking bubble tea a lot in Thailand so I was keen to try it in Taiwan, where it originated. It's iced tea with milk, flavourings and chewy tapioca pearls that you suck up through a thick straw. My favourite is green tea with taro.
I tried to look cool, posing for a photo while drinking the bubble tea but goofed up and spilled it all down my front. I had spent all night avoiding the rain but still ended up wet.
Epic Taiwanese bubble milk tea posing fail. #Taipei #Taiwan
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
The next morning I met with one of the girls, Karbo, for breakfast before she had to fly to Macau. We had a stroll through a fresh food market, sampling some food on our way, before going a small cafe to eat a typical local breakfast.
Some type of pancake with bacon pieces in the middle, noodles. fried radish and soy milk - all made for a tasty start to the day.
After saying goodbye to my friend I went straight to the gym in an effort to keep up with my workout routine.
I found a very modern and well equipped gym called 1st Fitness that works on a 'Pay As You Go' payment model. Most commercial gyms either require you to sign up to a lengthy contract or have a very expensive daily rate. 1st Fitness, however, only requires a one-off payment of $100 NTD (£2 GBP / $3 USD) for a membership card which you can pre-load with credit. Use of the gym is then charged at $1 NTD (£0.02 GBP / $0.03 USD) per minute from the time you enter until the time you leave.
While I was doing barbell squats I noticed a girl about half my weight in the rack beside me squatting the same weight as me. Rather than be embarrassed be this, I asked her if she wanted to work out together - since we're lifting the same weight. And that's how you make friends at the gym.
After the workout I asked her to "show me something cool in your city" and she took me to Memorial Hall, which is a large national monument with a history exhibit inside.
We raced from the flag to the top of the stairs and I can confirm that I'm much, much better at running than I am at lifting weights.
We then spontaneously decided to hike up Elephant Mountain, which has the best view of Taipei. It should have been an easy enough hike, about 1 hour walking up mostly wooden steps, but we tried out best to get up there in half the time so that we could watch the sunset from the top.
We made it with only 10 minutes to spare. As I stood at the viewing point, sweating and out of breath, I was constantly being bitten by mosquitoes.
Fortunately there was a well prepared German dude, wearing all the right clothes and a backpack with all the right supplies for a hike. He made me feel like a daft Scotsman, wearing cotton shorts and t-shirt with my only supplies consisting of a bottle of juice and a banana I picked up from the 7 Eleven near the bottom of Elephant Mountain.
He was nice enough to lend me some mosquito spray along with some information about Dengue Fever. "Taiwan has already had over 20,000 cases of dengue fever this year and over 50 deaths from it" he told me, "so it's really important to protect yourself".
Free from being bitten literally to death, I was able to enjoy the view.....
I'm up top of Elephant Mountain for the best view of Taipei. #Taipei #Taiwan
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
.... and take an awesome "selfie"!
We hiked back down the mountain and walked to Taipei 101, which is the massive tower in the photos. There they have a branch of Din Tai Fung, famous for their 'XiaoLongBao' (soup dumplings) and the fact that two of their branches have a Michelin Star.
Instructions were provided on how to eat the XiaoLongBao like a pro for maximum enjoyment.
Munching on Michelin star 'xiaolongbao' (steamed buns) at Din Tai Fung. Foodgasm! #Taipei #Taiwan
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
The restaurant has a large glass wall between the seating area and kitchen so you can watch the team of chefs make the dumplings from scratch. The XiaoLongBao dumplings really lived up to the hype and were well worth the hour wait to get a table.
My new friend, Claire, asked me if I was feeling tired due to all the hiking and eating. "Nope, not even close." I said, "Let's do a real hike tomorrow."
And that we did. At 7am we boarded a public bus which took an hour to drop us off at the east coast of the Taiwan where we went to hike up Teapot and Banping mountains.
Hiked in the mountains around Jiufen for 7 hours today. #Taiwan #Tired
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
It was a hot and sunny day which made it a challenging hike but we stopped to rest and eat every half hour. We brought plenty of food and drink with us.
The hike started off on a well trodden path but the closer to the top the more challenging it became and we frequently had to climb rocks or go through thick jaggy stuff. Not that much fun for me wearing shorts.
By the time we reached the top we were surrounded by thick fog, which was very unfortunate as it would have been an incredible and rewarding view from there.
We decided to take a different path back down but due to the fog and some misleading signs we got completely lost. By the time we had eaten all our food and drank all our water we were still lost.
We also had the misfortune to find two Taiwanese guys who were both hiking alone but got lost and were trying to find their way back together. They had seen some signs and now thought they knew the way back to civilization so we followed them for half an hour.
I switched on my phone, which I had earlier turned off with just 2% battery life left, to quickly open up Google Maps. That's when I realised that we were heading in completely the opposite direction of civilization. One of the guys told me that he doesn't trust Google Maps and that we're going the correct way for sure. I do trust Google Maps so we argued about it for a while. It was very frustrating trying to argue with someone who doesn't trust a compass and a map just because the compass is inside a phone and the map is an app, so we eventually agreed to disagree and go our separate ways.
A couple of hours later we reached civilization. I often wonder what ever happened to those chumps.
At the base of the mountain there was a dessert stall selling bowls of brown sugar water with ice, tofu and tapioca pearls. A very simple, cheap and ordinary dessert, but at that moment in time it tasted like heaven. Water, ice, sugary food - each mouthful contained everything my body was craving..
After the hike we boarded a bus for a short journey to Jiufen - an old gold mining town that's now a bit of a tourist attraction with very narrow streets lit by lanterns, famous tea houses with incredible views and small shops selling local delicacies.
Everywhere you go in Jiufen you're wither walking up or down steep streets. Not exactly fun after walking up and down mountains all day. Fortunately everywhere you walk in Jiufen there's also food, so we did keep walking.
We tried many of the local foods but my favourite was one of the simplest. Tea eggs are just boiled eggs that are cracked open and then boiled again in strong tea to add flavour. A nice tasty protein snack.
To say that I slept well that night would be a massive understatement. With tired legs and a belly full of food I went to bed and woke up 12 hours later. With another 3 hours lying in bed watching Korean soap operas dubbed into Mandarin on Taiwanese TV, I was starting to feel guilty about wasting almost a whole day of my trip.
I finally left my room at 4pm to go for a wander around the city. That's when I met a pretty local girl who had just returned to Taiwan after studying in USA. She asked me if I wanted to hang out and took me to her favourite night market - Raohe Street Night Market.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Night markets are an important part of Taiwanese culture, where many locals go to socialise and eat good but inexpensive food. At Raohe Street Night Market the focus was very much on the food as more than half the stalls were selling tasty treats.
Other than the cute Doraemon style sweet red bean pancakes (Dorayaki) my favourite was a stall selling steak. The steak vendor would cut up and blowtorch the steak to cook it then cover it with a spicy seasoning.
Tasty blowtorched steak. $100 NTD (£2 GBP / $3 USD). #Taipei #Taiwan #NightMarket
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
A delicious and excellent value protein snack for only $100 NTD (£2 GBP / $3 USD)
I ended up spending my remaining 3 days in Taiwan with my new friend. My best experiences of travelling have always been when I've had a local friend to show me cool places, teach me about the culture and bridge the language barrier.
After stuffing ourselves full at the night market we headed to the outskirts of town to her father's jazz cafe. It was a great atmosphere with live music and packed with locals dancing and having a good time. It was also the first time a girl introduced me to her dad on a first date, so that was a new and interesting experience.
The next day we woke up in the afternoon tired and hungry. I suggested we eat something that's uniquely Taiwanese and was given a few options to choose from. I decided on the most unhealthy and delicious sounding food - Gua Bao which is a Taiwanese bun with pork belly meat.
The meat was just pure fat. I really enjoyed the first one. The second one not so much and I was beginning to feel sick while trying to get through the third one.
Our bellies were full and we were lacking energy. It was approaching evening so the best thing to do was a sunset cable car ride on the Maokong Gondola. It only costs 50 NTD (£1 GBP / $1.50 USD) each way and is a 4km long ride up a mountain to Maokong which is a small area with restaurants, tea houses and a food court - where we got some delicious fresh watermelon and milk smoothies to drink as walked around and admired the scenic view.
We later visited the largest and most famous night market in Taipei, Shillin Night Market. For an idea of how big it is, there's around 600 food vendors there.
Beef Noodle Soup is a popular local food and a lot more nutritious than the Gua Bao I had eaten earlier.
Another local speciality that I indulged in was Hot Star XXL Fried Chicken at it's original stall. They sell one thing - famously massive pieces of fried butterflied chicken breast. The two of us could barely finish one piece and after we finally did there was certainly no more eating that day.
Eating a piece of fried chicken that's bigger than my head. #Taipei #Taiwan
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
On my last day in Taipei we visited the Taipei Zoo which has some cute pandas.
The zoo is large, well maintained and very cheap at just 60 NTD (£1.20 GBP / $1.80 USD) as it's heavily subsidised by the government. For comparison, the zoo in my home city of Edinburgh in Scotland costs £17 GBP ($25.50 USD) to enter - that's FOURTEEN times the price.
We spent about 5 hours enjoying the zoo so it was a really good value day out.
One of my favourite things about the entire Asian continent is how easy it is to eat well and enjoy yourself without spewing money. I had so many enjoyable experiences and ate so much tasty food in my 6 days in Taiwan, and I barely spent any money.
Istanbul Food Tour 23 Nov 2015 8:12 AM (9 years ago)
When I flew from Thailand to Ireland this Easter to play in the Irish Open I broke up the journey with a stopover in Istanbul, Turkey. One night on the way there and another two on the way home.
At the time I booked the trip I didn't know much about Istanbul or even what I actually wanted to do there, other than eating my weight in Turkish Delight. My main motivation for this itinerary was to save myself a lot of money. However I'm always glad for the opportunity to visit somewhere I've never been before.
Flight
Tickets from Bangkok to Dublin were absurdly expensive at Easter and I'm allergic to spending money, so that was no good. Fortunately, I hold a decent number of British Airways miles (Avios) that I've collected from churning credit card sign-up bonuses and a bit of flying. Unfortunately, there were no rewards seats available on the BKK - LHR leg to get me to Dublin.
So I started looking for routes from BKK to any city in Europe where a) reward seats were available, b) I had never visited before and c) had cheap direct flights to Dublin. Istanbul was the city that ticked all the boxes.
At that time BA had just announced plans to effectively devalue Avios miles through some significant changes to their loyalty program. It's really crappy how you can save up loyalty points for years with a company only to have them slap you in the face and basically steal a third of the value back from you. I was at least glad for this opportunity to spend some of them in the short time before the devaluation was enacted.
My outbound flight was BKK-KUL-IST with Malaysia Airlines in business class. The good thing about holding BA miles is that they can be used to buy reward tickets on any airline in the Oneworld Alliance, of which I can think of seven off the top of my head that fly out of BKK.
This ticket cost me 65,000 Avios + £14.10 GBP in fees. Extremely good value as this would have cost 50% more Avios post-devaluation and the fees on reward tickets are rarely anywhere near this low.
Bye bye Pad Thai, hello Turkish delights. #Istanbul #Turkey #Adventures
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
It was an overnight flight scheduled to arrive in Istanbul at 6am. My plan was that I'd get a good night's sleep as I was flying business class, would be waking up at a reasonable time so wouldn't get jet-lagged and would be checked in to my hotel, showered and changed before 9am so that I could make the most of my 24 hours in Istanbul.
It was a pretty good plan.
A two hour delay in landing and then another hour stood waiting at the baggage carousel before realising that my luggage was never going to arrive surely messed that plan up. Incredibly, after taking hundreds of flights in my life, this had never happened to me before. I tried to figure out what I was supposed to do about it but apparently none of the airport staff spoke English, or could help me or could give a damn.
Eventually I found a lost baggage room and after a lot more waiting and dealing with their unfriendly and, to be honest, just downright rude staff I was told that my luggage was currently in Malaysia. Nightmare!
Food Tour
To make the most of my 24 hour stopover in Istanbul I booked a Culinary Backstreets food tour. The idea is that a local tour guide takes you though the backstreets of their city to their favourite eateries. Places that most tourists wouldn't find on their own.
I joined the tour 90 minutes late because of my flying woes, resulting in me missing breakfast. Wearing just a t-shirt, I was cold and hungry. "Don't worry" the tour guide said, "we're going to go eat 'Kokorec' now".
The way that she pronounced 'Kokorec' sounded just like "cockroach" to me. I suddenly lost my appetite. I asked what kokorec was and was told that it's roasted lamb's intestines, a common street food in Istanbul. Yeah, appetite still gone.
Although kokorec is very common, our guide was quick to point out that there's only two vendors in the city that she would ever buy it from. It's very important that the intestines have been thoroughly cleaned and most street vendors in the city are severely lacking when it comes to food hygiene. Many of them also cheat by using intestines from grown sheep rather than lambs as it's much cheaper for them to buy.
I was observing the vendor doing his thing when he carved off some meat - if you can call intestines meat - and offered it to me. The tour group stood and watched as Dale the guinea pig sampled the kokorec.
My first bite of food in hours. Anything is delicious when you're hungry. Except for this - it tasted like absolute filth.
I tried to force myself to chew it up so that I could swallow it quickly then nod my head politely but the vile taste made it difficult to maintain my poker face. The vendor and everyone else could see that I was disgusted. The game was up, so I spat it out onto the pavement.
The rest of the group were given their kokorec in a bread bun with sauce and they all thought it was delicious. Which made me look bad for spitting it out on the ground. I tried to explain to them that all they were tasting was bread and sauce, disguising the dirty taste of intestines, but they were having none of it and made me feel like a killjoy.
It seemed like every one of these 'foodies' commented on everything that we ate that day as being delicious. I've met a lot of people like this when travelling, who want to believe everything they see and do in a foreign culture is awesome and are quick to criticise anyone who has anything negative to say about anything. It's OK to actually have an opinion about things, and a personality!
Fortunately the kokorec was the only food on the tour that I didn't like. Next up was another street vendor, an eccentric man in a narrow alleyway who sold meatless-meatballs. I prefer my meatballs to contain plenty of meat actually, but they were tasty none the less. Even better was the vendor's banter, although he nearly crushed me to death with a bear hug when I gave him a thumbs-up verdict after my first bite.
We then went to a famous restaurant to eat Okra soup, which was somewhat decent. The wall proudly displayed dozens of photographs of Turkish celebrities who'd visited the restaurant. Being a smart ass I was quick to comment that I didn't know who any of them were, and that I couldn't even think of a single famous Turk. One of the lads there asked "You're Scottish right?", then pointed to a photo, "Do you know who he is?"
I did indeed, it was Tugay Kerimoğlu who played for Rangers back in the days when they actually had world class players. Consider me put in my place.
After a long walk through the streets of Istanbul we went to eat 'Pide', which is a Turkish pizza. "How is pizza a Turkish food?", I asked. Apparently what defines it as a Turkish pizza is it's long shape and the traditional topping of ground meat and vegetables. So not that much different from a regular pizza.
The pizza restaurant, which we were told only opens from 11am - 3pm each day, was in a small nondescript shop, in a local street, with nothing written in English. So definitely not a place that many tourists will find. And that's exactly what I want when travelling - to eat where the locals eat.
Inside, two men were busy preparing and cooking pizzas in a fire oven.
Everything on the food tour was already paid for as part of the tour fee but I had a look at the menu which showed the price for one pizza as 10 Lira. That's just £2.30 GBP or $3.50 USD and represents good value in my opinion.
We took our pizzas up to the roof of a nearby building. The sun was out and it was unseasonably warm at about 18C. Just as well for jacket-less me.
Enjoying some takeaway Pide (Turkish pizza) on a rooftop in Istanbul. #Istanbul #Turkey
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I did expect to be eating food that was more exotic than pizza on the tour, but I was happy as it was some damn good pizza and the view from the rooftop where we ate it was incredible.
Next up was a little bit of dessert to satisfy my sweet tooth. Our guide took us to a small bakery that sold her favourite dessert which she called 'angel's hair cake'. We then took the cakes to a small local tearoom and ate them there with tea.
The cake was just finely shredded pastry soaked in syrup. It was extremely tasty, of course. It's basically impossible to make any combination of pastry and syrup taste bad.
After another long walk to regain our appetites we visited a 'Dürüm' restaurant. Dürüm is more like what I'd consider a Turkish food. It's a flatbread wrap with kebab ingredients.
The restaurant was packed so they set us up a table out on the street. The food was presented to us in a big tray with wraps, meat, vegetables and spices to assemble ourselves and eat. No sauce though.
I asked the guide "Why no sauce?" and she replied that they never eat this food with sauce. I told her that I'd eaten similar food in Greek restaurants with some nice sauce. "Well, that's Greece. That's not how we do it here!" she informed me very sternly. Remind me never to mention Greece to a Turkish person again.
Everyone was commenting on how delicious the food was, including myself, although I couldn't help but add "a bit of 'Tzatziki' sauce and it'd be absolutely perfect". I'll get my coat! Oh wait, I don't have one.
We had another long walk through the streets of Istanbul before arriving at a small family run restaurant which was in the top two floors of a town house. This was type of restaurant is very rare, we were told, as the owner cooks fresh home-made food using only high quality ingredients. There are many independent restaurants in the city serving home-made food but they all eventually become focused on profit and start using cheaper ingredients than they would if they were cooking for their own family.
At this restaurant the lady owner cooks the food in the traditional, often slow, ways, even if it means some ingredients need to be prepared the night before. "If she uses vegetables they will be fresh from local farms, if she uses olive oil it will be Tuscan olive oil" the guide told us.
We didn't get to choose the food. The guide had ordered it the previous day. That's the only way that you can eat in this restaurant. You can't just turn up and get a table.
Before the food arrived half the group had to leave as our tour was already running over schedule. That meant more food for the rest of us. Everyone was completely stuffed, except for me and my insatiable appetite for delicious food.
The last thing to arrive was Manti, a pasta similar to ravioli with yoghurt sauce and spices. Making this dish the correct way is a very laborious processes and I'm pleased to say that I was the sole beneficiary of the fruits of that labour. Everyone's bellies were full so I had the full bowl of deliciousness all to myself.
The tour ended about 5pm, so it was really a full day experience and a very enjoyable one at that. We were all given a free book with recommendations for restaurants in Istanbul so that we could continue food exploring on our own.
The Culinary Backstreets food tour cost $125 USD, but I got a 50% media discount for owning such an awesome blog, and also because I contacted them and asked if I could join the tour for free and they met me half way. The discount didn't influence any opinions written in this blog in any way. As you know, I'm a man of integrity.
I think that at half price it was good value but at the full price I'd consider it expensive. Most of the food was pretty cheap and we shared it. There were 9 of us on the tour and I'd estimate that the total cost of the food was in the region of $150 - $200. I would guess the guide gets paid about $100 for the day, so that leaves around $800 - $900 profit.
Seems like a very profitable business. I'd like to do it myself if only the food in my native land was worth eating. I'm not sure I could convince tourists to pay me $125 each to show them around my favourite places in Scotland to eat deep-fried Mars bars, deep-fired haggis and Pizza Crunches (which are also deep-fried FYI).
After the tour I was full of energy so continued walking around the streets of Istanbul. I found a street market where I was able to buy a pair of CK boxers and a Versace t-shirt for a couple of bucks each. Fake of course, I just needed some cheap clothes until my luggage arrived from the other side of the world.
Having worked up an appetite again I was on the lookout for a tasty treat. Tasty treats are not hard to find in Istanbul and I quickly found myself a nice slice of cake consisting of sponge, cream and honey.
Walking back to my hotel in the evening I must have passed more than fifty shops that sell nothing but Turkish Delight, or 'Lokum' as the locals call it, in the space of half an hour. I'd already eaten way too much but I decided to buy some to take with me to Ireland the next day. There were free samples of every flavour and I decided on the pomegranate and hazelnut variety as being the most delicious.
Of course, I couldn't help but eat a piece right then, then another, then another. A sugar-induced coma ensued and I was dead until the next morning.
I woke up too late for the hotel breakfast but found myself a nice big pastry full of pistachios for brunch.
I headed back to the airport. Fortunately my luggage arrived there from Malaysia two hours before I was due to check in for my flight to Ireland. Nothing like cutting it fine. I did receive a $90 USD compensation payment from Malaysia Airlines a couple of months later so I actually went from paying very little cash for the flight to being in profit for it.
Second Stopover
After a fun time in Ireland I was back in Istanbul for another stopover on my way home to Bangkok. The Sultanahmet Newport Hotel where I stayed previously was very comfortable and exceptional value at around $44 USD (29 GBP) per night on Agoda, so I booked it again. It was in the old town, very close to a tram stop which meant that I could get to and from the airport quickly and cheaply.
The public transport system in Istanbul is excellent and very cheap. With an Istanbulkart RFID card, which costs 6L, you can load it with money and ride the bus, metro, tram and ferry for only 2.15L (£0.50 GBP / $0.76 USD) per ride and another 1.45L (£0.34 GBP / $0.51 USD) if you're transferring.
A trip from the airport to my hotel meant riding metro then transferring to a tram, taking about 45 minutes and costing 3.60L (£0.84 GBP / $1.27 USD). For comparison, a taxi ride would have taken between 35 - 75 minutes depending on traffic and cost around 50L (£11.62 GBP / $17.66). Of course taxing a taxi is more comfortable and convenient but there's also a fair chance of getting scammed when you're a foreigner.
I arrived in the evening and went food exploring again. I visited a durum restaurant called 'Sehzade Erzurum Cag Kebabi' that the guide had pointed out to us during our tour but we hadn't visited.
Arrived in Istanbul hungry. Lamb kebab sqewers it is then. (Cag kebabi). #Istanbul #Turkey
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Exploring for dessert I was spoiled for choice with the many varieties of pastry-honey-nut combinations available but settled for this one. And by one I mean two.
After an early night I woke up early to some beautiful weather and decided to explore the city by foot. I must have covered over 20 km that day (about half a marathon), not all of it on flat ground either. But what better way to explore a city and counteract my ludicrously high calorie intake at the same time?
I skipped the main tourist sights which were mainly religious buildings. While I do realise that religion has a massive influence on the culture of any civilisation, as someone who is strongly atheist I just have no interest in visiting these huge expensive monuments to religion. "Imagine all that money and time and effort had been put into something productive?" is what I think as I walk by them.
I visited the Grand Bazaar, a famous indoor market close to my hotel in the old town. I took the advice of the guide from the food tour who said "Turkish people don't shop at the Grand Bazaar or the Spice Market. These places are for tourists, with tourist prices." So I went there to look around and eat copious amounts of free samples from the many Turkish Delight stalls.
The sellers are quite pushy there and do get a little pissed off when you try six or seven samples and then leave without buying anything. Muttered words in Turkish as I walked away, probably calling me all the bastards under the sun.
I kept walking until I was away from the tourist trash, to where everything is real and the prices are real cheap. I found a man making fresh pomegranate juice at 2L (£0.46 GBP / $0.71 USD) per cup. So sweet, so refreshing, I gulped it down in two seconds and asked for another.
I drink pomegranate juice a lot in Bangkok but in Istanbul it's much better. It's a darker and sweeter fruit than they have in Thailand, who actually import from China, and it's also half the price.
Having walked up a bit of an appetite, I wandered into a small local restaurant in search of some sustenance. They didn't have a menu but the owner tried to tell me what they serve in broken English "Chicken soup, chicken *something*, chicken *something* and *something* chicken". OK I guess I'll have the chicken soup then.
There were four tables in the joint, all of them empty, so I was a bit surprised when an old man walked in and sat directly across from me at my table. Maybe it was "his table" where he regularly sits, or maybe he just wanted some company. I don't know because he spoke no English, but we did our best to communicate with each other using hand signals.
Sat in a local joint eating chicken broth and bread with an old Turkish bloke. #Istanbul #Turkey
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He ordered the same as me, chicken soup which was a clear broth with shredded chicken. We both gave it a thumbs up!
The owner asked me if I wanted to dessert. Of course I did. I was given a fairly ordinary looking milk pudding that had a slightly unusual taste to it. It turns out that what I was eating was 'Tavuk Göğsü' - a dessert made with chicken breast meat. Everything in this restaurant really did contain chicken!
After eating the chicken dessert I went on the hunt for some sweeter treats. I searched my guide book and it seemed that 'Karakoy Gulluoglu Baklava' make some of the best 'Baklava' in the city so I took a long walk over there.
Crispy pastry on top, crushed walnuts in the middle and soft chewy pastry soaked in honey on the bottom. Mmmmmmm mmmmm mmmm mmm mm!
The crispy, nutty sweetness of quality Baklava. #Istanbul #Turkey
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
It seems like every Turkish dessert is just a different combination of pasty, nuts and honey/syrup. Still, that's no reason no to try all of them.
More Turkish sweet treats. #SugarRush #Istanbul #Turkey
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Full of energy I just kept walking without any idea of where I was going and eventually saw a big tower with a line of people outside it. It looked like it would be a nice view from up there so I joined the queue.
It was Galata Tower which was built in 1348. The medieval dudes building it could never have imagined that seven centuries later some Scotsman would be using it as a vantage point to take an awesome selfie to post on Instagram.
I ate some more kebab style food but it was very ordinary and disappointing to what I'd previously eaten so I returned to the dürüm restaurant where I ate on the food tour. I'm all for exploring new places but sometimes you just want a guaranteed good meal.
My final food destination in Istanbul was to visit Haci Bekir's original shop. It has been there since the year 1777 and was the first is where the original Lokum (Turksih Delight) was sold.
Shopping at the original Turkish Delight shop, established 1777. #Istanbul #Turkey
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I took full advantage of their free samples but this time actually did make a purchase. I don't usually buy souvenirs or gifts for people when I travel but how can you return from Turkey without bringing your friends back some Turkish Delight?
Flight Home
My flight home was business class with Royal Jordanian IST-AMM-BKK which I also bought with BA Avios miles. This ticket cost 65,000 Avios + £101 GBP, again excellent value.
The first leg was only a couple of hours, then I had a few hours to relax in the Crown Lounge at AMM airport in Jordan. They have some nice facilities there such as a full size pool table and personal TV rooms with reclining chairs.
Nice ammenities at the Crown Lounge at Amman aiport. Pool table, personal TV booths.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
After a hot shower (I was playing Tinder at the airport but unfortunately couldn't get anyone to join me) I returned home to Bangkok on a Boeing 787 Dreamliner where I ate some nice food and then slept really well, especially knowing that I'd paid a fraction of what people sitting in economy had paid for the flight.
Baller on a budget. #ThriftyScotsman
Irish Open (Dublin) - Trip Report 21 May 2015 12:18 PM (9 years ago)
From Bangkok, Thailand to Dublin, Ireland. I made that long journey to play in this year's Paddy Power Irish Open and end my 10 month hiatus from live poker tournaments.
The venue for the Irish Open was the Hilton Doubletree hotel, who got my stay off to a sweet start. When I was checking in I was handed a large, fresh, warm and extremely delicious chocolate-chip cookie along with my room key.
I think more hotels should do this kind of thing. The financial cost is small compared to the resulting customer satisfaction level. Maybe I love cookies too much, but if I'm a customer of yours and you unexpectedly hand me a delicious freshly baked cookie, chances are I'll write good things about your business on the internet. (Contact me for postal address to send all cookie bribes.)
It was the night before the event kicked off and the venue was already buzzing. There was a ton of cash game action going on as well as a huge satellite to the main event and the bar was packed. Of course the bar was packed. If it was empty I sure as hell wouldn't think I was in Ireland.
For most people it would be a tough choice, whether to dive straight into the poker or head to the bar and socialise with all the familiar faces from the poker community. I always do things differently though. Instead, I left the venue and headed straight off to Nando's on the other side of town. You see, I'm a bit partial to their hot spicy chicken and this was the first time that I'd been in a country with a Nando's for well over a year. Priorities, priorities.
When I got back to the Doubletree I spent the rest of the night in the bar catching up with a bunch of my poker pals who I hadn't seen in almost a year. Everyone stayed there well into the small hours and some great banter was had.
Main Event Day 1
With the main event starting at 1pm and with a 600 big blind starting stack there was no reason not to wake after noon and then head out for a bit of brunch. Poker is a tough "job". I finally took my seat in the tournament just before 2pm, near the end of the first level. Back to work!
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
The tournament was very well run, with excellent dealers. It seemed to be most of the same dealers and floor staff who work at the PokerStars events. I believe all those guys and girls work in a freelance capacity, which is exactly what you should do when you're elite at what you do.
I didn't recognise anyone at my starting table, never a bad thing. Based on my table and from what I'd heard from my friends on the breaks, it seemed like the standard of play in this €3,500 event was considerably weaker than a €770 buyin UKIPT event. Value time!
I was splashing around, playing a bunch of small pots for about an hour before I got involved in a big one. Of course, I had the goods. I flatted a 3-bet out of position with 44 and flopped a set. Unfortunately, my opponent flopped a bigger set with TT.
Set-over-set in a 3-bet pot is usually a tournament-ending situation but fortunately we were so deep at that stage of the tournament that I only lost a third of my stack. I still had 200 big blinds so I took the cooler on the chin and continued enjoying my poker. The tournament room was buzzing, the atmosphere was incredible and I was soaking it up.
Incredible atmosphere here in Dublin. The place is buzzing. Love it. #PPIrishOpen
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I did have one tough player on my direct left but he made a dubious hero call to bust out. Not versus me unfortunately, but when he was tanking I was still sweating so hard for him to call. I knew that he was very likely beat, and I wanted him gone from the table and replaced by a random player.
Unfortunately that random player happened to be a world class player, Dominik Nitsche. My first words to him were "oh, f*** off!!!". Fortunately he was smart enough to take that as a compliment and he replied "don't worry, I have a short stack. Take my advice and don't try to bluff anyone in this tournament, they never, ever fold."
I couldn't help myself though. But yeah, it turns out he was right, I'd have had an easier job trying to take players off marginal hands at some stupid Zynga play money game than I would in the Irish Open main event. After spewing off a chunk of chips I sat with my tail between my legs and nittied it up until the dinner break.
Every day we were given a free dinner voucher for a buffet in the restaurant. In these all-you-can eat situations I am completely obsessed with maximizing the financial value of what I consume. It's like a challenge.
I estimated that the salmon fillets had the highest € per calorie value so I stacked half a dozen of them on a plate, along with some vegetables - which have a very low € per calorie value but you've still got to be balanced.
With a full stomach I started to waddle out of the restaurant, before I noticed my pal Nick Abu Risk at one of the tables. I went over to say hi and that's when I noticed there was a dessert area with massive slices of chocolate fudge cake and fresh cream. Damn! On one hand I was full, but on the other hand I'm sure as hell not passing up on free chocolate cake, so I somehow managed to shovel a massive slice down my throat then wrapped up another couple of slices in some napkins and took them back to my room for later.
Back in the tournament and I was playing a bunch of pots with one particular player. "Where are you from?", I asked him. "Holland", he said. Then followed Dominik with the wise crack "Oh, you should get on well with him Dale.....". Ha ha ha.
The most important hand of the day for me came in the BB400 level. I was playing a 20K stack and with QhJc I 3-bet the player on my left. He called out of position and the flop came Qs9s8c. He checked. I bet, and he instantly check-raised me to half my remaining stack.
That's a tough spot. JT, 99 and 88 are all in his range, But so are many more hands that have pair + draw or combo draws. It just felt like a draw with the speed that he bet and the sizing but I wasn't that confident getting my stack in. I was either going to be crushed or up against a big draw. I was never getting it in way ahead. But there was already a ton in the pot.
After a couple of minutes in the tank my opponent called the clock on me. I shoved my stack in with 3 seconds remaining. He flipped over KTs for an over card, gutter and a flush draw.
Fortunately I won the flip.
Towards the end of the day there was a lot of noise coming from one end of the room. The players who had already busted were taking part in a sumo wrestling competition for €500 with the legendary Mad Marty MC'ing.
(video taken by Christian Zetzsche)
Great banter, just the kind of stuff that I was expecting from the Irish Open, although some of the older players were complaining about the noise. You can't please everyone I guess.
I had one old geezer at my table actually call the clock on me because I was talking to the dealer during a hand. In my defence, I didn't realise that the action was on me, it was just 10 seconds and the dealer was really, really, really cute.
I played out the hand and then said sorry to the bloke who called the clock, being the bigger man in the situation. "I don't accept your apology" he scorned, "You're wasting everyone's time, just shut up and play poker". What a miserable git.
It looked like I was going to end the day with not much more than the starting stack but then on the very last hand I was lucky to pick up AA. I was even luckier than the guy on my right picked up KK. So I ended the day with a more respectful 72,400 chips, about 2.5 starting stacks.
Doubled up with AA vs KK on the last hand of the day. 72k for tomorrow. #PPIrishOpen
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It was then off to the bar for some more value as Paddy was running a "flip for your pint" promotion. You could order you drink then flip a coin. If you called it right then Paddy paid for your drink. Sound.
There were loads of shrewd poker pros at the bar looking to maximise their expected value of the drinks promo. Jake and I got chatting to two of them, two legends of the game, Surinder Sunar and Mike Sexton.
Surinder was double-fisting with a pint in each hand, obviously getting the full value from the drinks promotion. Mike was fascinated with the idea of living in Thailand and the lifestyle there so was asking me tons of questions. I'm pretty sure I convinced him that he should at least take his next vacation there.
Main Event Day 2
I woke up with a couple of hours to spare before play resumed on day 2. So I sat in bed with the table-draw and google / hendon mob researching my opponents (another great table) then I went out for breakfast with my friend Cristin Maschmann to some poncy organic restaurant called Farm.
She had been there plenty of times before and suggested that I try the best thing that they serve, Spanish Omelette. No, thanks. I didn't come to Ireland to eat some daft Spanish food, I had my eyes set on the Full Irish Breakfast.
No trip to Ireland would be complete without the full fry up breakfast.
I returned to the hotel and found my table. I was full of energy and ready to start accumulating chips.
And so I did. On the very first hand I picked up AK under the gun and 4-bet with it pre-flop versus the big blind who had a similar stack size of ~90BBs. He called. The flop came rags, he checked, I bet, he called. His range at that point is mostly overpairs and maybe AK and some flopped sets.
There was about 45BB in the pot and we each had about 68BB behind. Fortunately the turn was a K. He checked, I bet again, about 20BB and he tank-folded.
I think that I made a mistake there and should have checked back the turn to get another bet out of him on the river, given that I have a solid idea of his range. I think my line, 4-betting from UTG on the first hand of the day and betting flop and turn is just too strong to be a bluff most of the time and he can fold a hand like JJ. Whereas with JJ he may lead small on the river or check-call a bet. I also don't go fully broke the times that he flopped a set.
It's funny how looking back on my own hands it seems so clear what line I should have taken, but at the time I make stupid mistakes. I guess not playing for almost a year doesn't help.
I was doing well, with over 100K chips, putting me top ten in the chipcounts.
Jude Ainsworth, the extremely aggressive Irish player, got moved to my table. He was getting into a 3, 4, 5 betting war with the young Finnish fella on my left every other hand. My own attempts at getting involved in these battles just saw me spew off chips.
After losing a pot to Jude I picked up KK the next hand. The Finnish fella opened under the gun and I instantly 3-bet him. The action got back round to him and he 4-bet me.
At that point I decided that the best way to play it would be to just call with the KK and keep my range wide. I think he'd be folding his bluffs to my 5-bet most of the time, although he's Finnish so you never know. By just calling I can get another big bet out of him when he c-bet leads the flop.
The flop came all rags, rainbow board. He lead the flop and I decided to take my time and then just call. This left a pot-sized bet left in my stack for the turn. The turn was another rag, he checked to me and I shoved in my stack. He snap called with AA.
There was no K on the river and he had me slightly covered so it was time for me to GTFO. I've never felt so bad busting a poker festival before. It's a fairly standard way to bust out and I didn't play the hand badly but it was more the fact that I was doing so well up until then, it was my first poker tournament in so long and I didn't know when the next one would be. Painful.
I returned to my room in a daze. I had a good sulk for 10 minutes before I decided to pick myself up and deal with my pain in the gym. The Doubletree has an excellent gym on the top floor with brand new equipment and a nice view, so it was a good way to get off tilt.
Awesome view from the gym at Hilton Doubletree in Dublin. #PPIrishOpen
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I was the only person in the gym. Meanwhile, downstairs, there were people in their hundreds at the bar. I prefer to drown my sorrows with food though and the free dinner buffet was just a couple of hours away, so I was busy working up as big an appetite as I possibly could. Which turned out to be five plates worth of an appetite.
At night we had a lads night out on the town. We headed to some classy place but were turned away by the bouncer like we were riff-raff.
I was wearing a Jaws T-shirt that I bought for something like two quid at a market in Thailand and Jake was wearing a pair of white trainers, but overall our group was reasonably presentable. So you'd think that it wouldn't be too much trouble for the bouncer to accept a €100 handshake? Nope, he refused. Unbelievable. How well paid are bouncers in Dublin that they can turn that down?
So it was on to plan B, the nightclub across the road that I'm sure would have let us in even if we were all wearing Borat man-kinis. "This place is really scummy, but it's good-scummy!" Jake promised. And he was good to his word. It was exactly as described and we had a cracking night.
Messy night out in Dublin with the lads. #Dublin #Ireland
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It's been a while since I've danced to S Club 7, 5IVE, Coolio, Cotton Eye Job, Mambo Number 5 or that stupid Macerena song so I'd forgotten how much fun it was. Just as well that the DJ at Copperface Jack's hadn't updated his playlist in the last 15 years.
PLO
The next day I attempted to make Easter Sunday a fun day by playing the PLO side event.
Playing the four card game at the Irish Open. #PLO #Dublin #PPIrishOpen
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Unfortunately it wasn't much fun or very exciting. I lost half my chips when I was priced into calling pot sized bets down to the river with a wrap and flush draw versus what I believed to be top set of aces.
I lost the rest when I 3-bet QJT8 double suited from the big blind versus a button open. He 4-bet pot which just about put me all in. The flop ran out nice 974 giving me a big wrap, the turn brining a flush draw but it was all a big tease as the river paired the board and my opponent's AAxx held up.
That was it for me as far as poker went. The rest of the day was spent at the other type of green felt tables. Paddy had organized a speed pool competition where the winner got to play against 1997 snooker World Champion Ken Doherty for €500.
John Eames and Charles Chattha made the final 6 so we had some good guys to route for. There were around 200 spectators around the table and the place was jumping. I've never seen that kind of atmosphere at a poker tournament before.
Bray
I had one full day left in Dublin and wanted to get outside, away from the poker and do something fun. The previous days I could see big hills in the distance from the view out of the window at the hotel gym and thought it would be a good idea to hike up them. Some of the local lads told me that the easiest place for me to go do that would be Bray.
Unfortunately I couldn't convince anyone to go with me. It's not easy getting poker players to do anything that doesn't involve gambling or drinking and the weather was really awful so that was no surprise.
What was a surprise was the awesome weather when I woke up early on Easter Monday to take the trip to Bray. It was about 18 degrees C with no wind, which is about as good as you're ever going to get in Ireland at the beginning of April.
Took a train down the coast to the seaside town of Bray. #Ireland
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There's a train that goes from the city centre directly to Bray in about half an hour, so that was easy. The town was just like those seaside towns in the UK that I used to visit when I was a little kid. I thought that all those places had kind of died but Bray was absolutely packed with people. The beach was made of rocks, not sand, and there were still people all over it. Every ice cream stand or fish and chip shop had a queue of people two dozen deep.
I didn't stay in the town with all the day-trippers. I was eager to hike up the hills and enjoy some peace and tranquillity.
Enjoying a sunny Easter Monday hiking up Bray Head. #Ireland
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I was up those hills for hours. Filling my lungs with fresh air, getting some good exercise and enjoying the beautiful scenery.
When I was hiking up the first hill I saw an Irish father putting sunscreen on his child's face. I remember laughing to myself "it's a lovely day sure, for the time of year, but even the Irish aren't going to get burnt in this weather".
Well, after 6 hours outdoors, I returned to the hotel, had a hot shower, looked in the mirror and my face and neck were bright red. I got sunburnt.
I can't remember a time during my 4 years living in Thailand when I got sunburnt, then I fly to Ireland at the start of April and............ feckin hell!
The trip to Bray was a nice way to conclude my trip to Dublin. I always make the effort to do something fun and non-poker related when I travel for poker. Even if the poker goes bad I still have fond memories of the trip, and that was certainly true for this one.
The Maldives - Trip Report 14 Mar 2015 11:05 AM (10 years ago)
This trip report from my visit to The Maldives in December will be rather different to most other Maldives trip reports you will read online.
It will also be difficult for me to write. If you read until the end you'll see why. But I won't let that get in the way of me documenting my travels.
Last year I got into what I'd call my first serious relationship in as long as I can possibly remember. I was happier than I ever had been in my life. Life was awesome. Except for one problem. My girlfriend had to leave Bangkok for 4 and a half months to do an internship at a hotel resort island in The Maldives.
I knew it was going to be be difficult because we had spent every single day together up until then. I promised that I would fly over to visit her halfway through, to make the temporary distance-relationship easier to handle.
Value
A trip to The Maldives for most people would be for some kind of special occasion such as a honeymoon and would involve staying in an overwater bungalow on one of the resort island. Those places are really nice, but hugely expensive. Anything from $450 - $12,000 per night. That's the price of paradise.
It wasn't all paradise for me though. For my trip to The Maldives I had to stay in Male which is the big dirty capital city island, or it's sister island Hulhumale. Not just because I didn't want to spew thousands of dollars on somewhere to sleep at night. It was so that my girlfriend would be able to commute from her resort at Centara Ras Fushi to visit me after working her shift. Fortunately she did manage to get 4 full days holiday over the 8 days that I visited.
As for hotels in Male, I did days of research to try to find somewhere suitable. The cheapest rooms in Male and Hulhumale were $80 - $150 per night and all were rated 3 or less on TripAdvisor. Overpriced crap basically.
Somehow one of those places was only £26.75 GBP ($40 USD) per night on the American Express UK Travel site, even though it was more than double that on all the main booking sites like Agoda that are usually always the cheapest. So I made an easy value call there.
Not only that but I was able to take advantage of an American Express / TripAdvisor "£50 off £150 spend" promotion if you linked your Amex Card to TripAdvisor (for what reason I don't know, or care). Therefore, 8 nights in the hotel total worked out at £164 GBP ($245 USD).
I was also really lucky when it came to buying the flights. As you may have heard, Malaysia Airlines were having a bit of bother last year and nobody wanted to fly with them. That meant ridiculously low promotional fares.
I booked Bangkok to Male via Kuala Lumpur for £167 GBP ($250 USD). I was also able to use the "£50 off £150 spend" Amex / Trip Advisor promotion a second time as I happened to have two different Amex cards at that time (I only get them to clear the signup bonuses for air miles and then cancel them). That brought the total cost for the return flights to Maldives down to only £117 GBP ($175 USD).
I also got entire rows to myself on all 4 legs of the return journey and my gold status with Malaysia Airline's Oneworld partner Cathay Pacific meant that I got full use of the business lounges with my economy ticket. What a result.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Combined, flights and hotels only cost me £281 GBP ($419 USD) for an 8 night stay in Maldvies. I challenge anyone to do it cheaper than that!
Of course I was in a basic room in a basic hotel on a local island that had nothing fun or exciting to do, but that was OK. I didn't visit Maldives for it's incredible beaches. I have access to plenty of incredible beaches in Thailand. What I didn't have access to in Thailand was the most important person in my life. That's the one and only reason I visited Maldives so really nothing else mattered.
But I did find a few cool things to do there.
Scuba Diving
On one of the days when my girlfriend was busy working I decided that rather than stay in my room, lonely and bored, I'd go out and lose my scuba diving virginity. It's something that I'd always planned to do and have travelled to so many amazing places that, looking back, were huge missed opportunities to go diving. I certainly wasn't going to leave Maldives without going below sea level.
For a PADI Discover Diving course with two boat dives it cost just $105 USD (£71 GBP) with a local dive operator. All the equipment was new and in great condition. Everything felt safe.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I can say without a doubt that diving is one of the coolest things I've ever done. It completely exceeded my expectations.
After explaining to me how all the equipment worked, my instructor wasted no time getting me into the sea. He took me slowly down to the sea floor, reminding me to equalise my ears every few meters. There was beautiful coral everywhere and so many kinds of tropical fish swimming amongst us. There was so much life and activity. It felt like I had discovered a new world.
With my instructor basically dragging me around, we came across a massive sea turtle that was eating some sea plants. The instructor pulled me right up close to the turtle, grabbed a handful of the plant it was eating and handed it to me to feed the turtle. Wow. What a magical experience. I never imagined that my first dive would be anywhere near that awesome.
After a rest on the boat we went for a second dive. I saw that one of the crew had an underwater camera so I asked if we could use it. There was normally an extra cost for that but my instructor took the camera with us in the water, took all sorts of cool pics, sent me the files and didn't charge me a cent. Thanks mate!
This time we went into deeper water and I was able to swim around completely unaided with my instructor just swimming beside me. We found a really cool looking eel and I got up close to play with it while my instructor took photos. It was another incredible experience, but in the back of my mind I was thinking "I wish he had the camera when I was feeding the sea turtle instead."
Just before we were about to return to the surface we spotted some manta rays. The instructor got up close to take photos. I followed him, but not all the way. I wasn't sure if they were safe to be around. I was thinking "Didn't one of these things kill Steve Irwin?". It turns out they are quite safe and that it was a stingray that killed The Crocodile Hunter.
Consider me hooked on diving after just one day. I plan to continue my diving adventures back home in Thailand.
Male / Hulhumale
The Male and Hulhumale islands where most of the country's local population live are big dirty concrete jungles with nothing fun or interesting to do.
Alcohol outside the resorts is illegal as The Maldives is a Muslim country. People just tend to hang around in cafes and coffee shops. It just seems to be all men. I don't know where all the women hang out. At home probably.
There were very, very few tourists in Male. Nobody has any reason at all to stay there unless they maybe got in on a late flight and need to stay overnight to get a ferry or seaplane to where they actually want to go the next day.
Everywhere we went in Male every single person that we walked past would stare at us. Well, they were mostly staring at my beautiful blonde-haired girlfriend than they were at me. I think a lot of guys would be uncomfortable with having their girlfriend stared at like that but I just felt like I was the man and they were all jealous of me. They would stare at her, I would stare back at them and smile, and she would stare straight forward. That happened absolutely everywhere we went.
One time we were standing outside her colleague's house talking to her for 30 minutes and I noticed a young guy a few meters away standing against a railing and looking at us the whole time. When we walked off I looked back and saw that he was following us, still a few meters away. So when we turned the corner we just stopped against the wall. The lad got the shock of his life when he turned the corner, did a sharp u-turn and ran away. Weirdo. I don't know if he was just bored or up to something sinister.
The main reason that Male and Hulhumale are so dirty is that people litter like it's a completely normal thing to do. I'd see people chug a can of juice and just drop it right where they stood. What the hell is wrong with these people? Have some love for the place you live.
Even on the bus, as soon as people were handed their ticket they would drop it right on the ground. Every single person did that. The whole floor of the bus was always covered in tickets.
If I saw anyone casually tossing litter on the street in my country I'd pick it up and stuff it down their shirt. Assuming they looked weaker than me, of course.
I guess in Maldives littering is just their culture. It's socially acceptable. And it is their country after all. If they want to live surrounded by garbage then it's up to them.
Kuda Bandos
After four days in The Maldives I was getting really sick of Male and Hulhumale. So, when my girlfriend got a whole day off from work we went on a boat trip together to a nice island called Kuda Bandos. It's a 'picnic island', meaning that nobody actually lives there, it's just used for day trips.
We got there very early and had a whole section of beach and crystal clear water to ourselves. It was great to finally get a taste of the Maldives you see in magazines and on TV, rather than Male which is the polar opposite of that.
At lunch time one of the boat crew barbecued some fish for us on the beach. I was on an island paradise, eating delicious food with the girl I love. Life really doesn't get much better than that.
After lunch we went back to relax on our sun loungers. My girlfriend fell asleep immediately. It reminded me of watching movies together in bed,
After a few minutes I was bored just lying there doing nothing so I went barefoot jogging around the island.
I tried to relax again. Too hyper. I went snorkelling in the shallow waters.
I tried to relax again. Was looking at the sand. Decided that building a sandcastle would be fun.
Lying on my back relaxing at the beach all day..... or at least until the ADHD kicks in. #Maldives
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Confirmed big kid.
Dolphin Cruise
We managed to get a free sunset dolphin cruise. The crew that was taking us back from Kuda Bandos told us that the other couple who joined us had paid for the full boat for a dolphin cruise, so we'd be welcome to come along for free. Nice one.
We were in the boat trying to find dolphins for almost an hour. It wasn't long until Sunset. I thought it was never going to happen. But eventually we found these amazing creatures.
They swam alongside us, jumping out of the water and doing flips. Dolphins are extremely smart and I'm pretty sure that they were well aware of our presence and were trying to entertain us. And they surely did just that.
Final Day
On the last of my eight days in Maldives I had a late evening flight and had to check out of my hotel at midday. My girlfriend was working until 6pm so I stored my luggage at the airport and tried to keep myself occupied for 6 hours on my own in Male. That's a difficult thing to do. Especially on a Friday when shops don't open until 2pm.
I walked the full length of the island down the middle and then the full radius of it. It's pretty small at only 5.8 square kilometres
The most interesting thing I found was the harbour market.
And then I found the local's Friday market. It was huge, and I got stuck in the middle of it. There were so many people there that there was no space to walk.
All the stalls were selling absolute garbage and yet it seemed like the whole population of the island had turned up to buy it.
What a nightmare. By then I was completely sick and fed up of Male. I had conflicted feelings at that point. I was looking forward to leaving Maldives and returning to the city I love, Bangkok. But the girl I love was staying in Maldives. So sad.
I met my girlfriend at the pier after she finished working and enjoyed her company for the last couple of hours of my trip. We went to a nice local restaurant at the fake beach and had some delicious local food. We both sulked as we ate it though, knowing that it would be another 2 and a half months before we'd see each other again.
Off we went to the airport. We sat together outside until it it was time for me to catch my flight. And had a final kiss goodbye.
And that really was a final kiss goodbye. Not just for the trip. Forever.
I won't go into details but, rather brutally, we're no longer a couple.
It's one of the most difficult things I've ever had to deal with.
And that's why this was a difficult blog post to write.
Penang, Malaysia - Trip Report 11 Mar 2015 7:58 AM (10 years ago)
As every foreigner who stays in Thailand for a while knows, you have to get your foreign ass out of the country every now and again when your visa expires.
For some that is a major hassle, but for me it's a good opportunity to visit some cool places. Penang in Malaysia is my favourite place to do my Thai "visa runs".
On my most recent trip I checked into my hotel and immediately walked over to Chulia Street. It's pretty much a mini version of Bangkok's Khao San Road. That's not a good thing. I hate Khao San Road with a passion. Basically wherever Lonely Planet says is the "hot backpacker spot" in a city is somewhere that I'll do my best to avoid staying in.
I did have a good reason for going to Chulia Street, which was to visit my friend Jim who runs the Jim's Place guest house. He's the go-to man when it comes to getting a Thai visa with no hassle in Penang. Well, unless you consider the hassle of trying to get past the dozens of aggressive trans prostitutes that litter that street at night.
All I need to do is give Jim a little bit of cash, my passport and a few details then he fills out all the visa forms, takes the application to the Thai embassy and comes back with my passport and a shiny new Thai visa.
Jim is quite the character and his cynical Thai-related rants are worth the trip to his place alone. Not to mention the hilariously politicly-incorrect notices that he's posted up in the guesthouse lobby wall.
With "Sir Jim" taking care of my Thai visa I had a lot more time to explore, have adventures and eat the glorious food in Penang.
National Park
Penang National Park is my favourite place on the island. It's 10 square miles of forest and sea, making it the smallest national park in the world. That means you can trek around the bulk of it in a single day. It's free to enter and just a cheap public bus ride away from civilization.
Trekking through Penang National Park. Whole beaches to myself.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I've been to the national park twice, on separate trips, and loved the experience just as much the second time around.
I enjoy trekking through the forest in the heat and humidity and coming across beaches where I can take a break and cool off in the sea. Most of the beaches are completely deserted. Not a single human there. Plenty of crab-eating macaque monkeys though!
Penang National Park - a great place to hang out!
Hanging out in the rainforest at Penang National Park. #Penang #Malaysia
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Penang Hill
Penang Hill is the highest point of Penang island and can be reached by a quick ride on a funicular railway cart.
It's a great place to escape the heat and humidity of Penang and get some beautiful views of the island.
Food
Other than the main sightseeing places it feels like I've spent most of my time in Penang eating. Penang has a reputation as a food paradise. Basically there's food everywhere you go and it's all great.
The best places to sample a bunch of different foods are the big outdoor food courts with dozens of hawkers such as Red Garden Food Paradise, which also has live music.
Red Garden is where I first sampled Char Koay Teow. It literally means 'stir-fried rice noodles' and is something similar to Pad Thai. Just as Pad Thai is in Thailand, Char Kway Teow is a national favourite dish in Malaysia, A tasty bargain at only 5.5 MYR (£0.98 GBP / $1.48 USD).
Penang Char Koay Teow. Stir fried ricecake strips with egg and prawns. Tastes incred.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I finished off the Char Koay Teow with a plate of Penang Rojak for dessert. It is chopped fruit and veg with dried squid, honey and sweet peanut sauce. All sorts of flavours and textures going on there but it somehow works.
Penang Rojak. It's chopped fruit and veg with squid fritters, honey and sweet peanut sauce.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
Talking of desserts, I was eating plenty bowls of Cendol and Ais Kacang in the hot afternoons to cool down.
Cendol is jelly noodles with coconut milk and flavoured shaved ice.
Cendol. Another ice cold dessert to get me through a hot afternoon in Penang. #Penang #Malaysia
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
and Ais Kacang is flavoured shaved ice with ice cream and all sorts of sweet treats.
The main types of foods that can be found in Penang are the same as the main ethnicities. Malaysian, Chinese and Indian.
I had this incredible bowl of Chinese tofu soup for 10 MYR (£1.79 GBP / $2.70 USD) back at Red Garden.
More cheap Penang eats. Yong Tao Foo at 10 ringit. Some kind of Chinese soup. Yum!
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
And an all you can eat Chinese 'Steamboat' buffet for just 22.90 MYR (£4.13 GBP / $6.19 USD). At a steamboat
And as far as Indian food goes, I found place that's very popular with the locals called Restoran Jaya on Penang Road where most meals are around 5 MYR (£0.90 GBP / $1.35 USD). I've had many delicious cheap eats at that restaurant throughout my visits to Penang.
One thing Penang does have a lack of is pork. Malaysia's populations is almost 2/3 Muslim so that would be the reason.
If you look hard enough you can find it though. Mostly in the Chinese places.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
I always leave Penang with a full stomach. :)
Chiang Mai, Thailand - Trip Report 18 Dec 2014 5:35 AM (10 years ago)
After my poker trip to Marbella I returned home to Bangkok with far fewer commitments and much more free time.
I used that free time productively - by dating pretty girls. Eventually I met a pretty girl that actually had a personality and that I actually enjoyed spending time with. Like me, she had a lot of free time on her hands, as she wasn't due to start at university for another month. I suggested that we make the most of our freedom by taking a short vacation to Chiang Mai together.
We flew to Chiang Mai with Nok Air, which is Thai Airways' domestic budget airline. It was certainly budget in terms of price, with a promotional fare of 900 THB (£17.45 GBP / $27.27 USD) each way, but was pretty much like a regular airline in every other way.
There were none of the hassles that one has to put up with when flying with the likes of Ryanair or easyJet in Europe. No having to check in online, print anything out, stand in long queues, be stuffed into a bus like cattle to get the plane or pay extra for every little thing. The 900 baht fare included a 15 kg checked bag allowance and a hot pastry snack and water during the flight.
It gets better. Over the last few months Nok Air have been rolling out a free in-flight WiFi service on their planes. Free unlimited broadband internet for all passengers during the flight. This is absolutely astonishing to someone who's expectations of a budget airline service are rock bottom due to many negative experiences on the aforementioned European budget carriers.
For our stay I booked one of the best hotels in Chiang Mai, the Dusit D2. I got a great deal, paying 2,900 THB (£56.23 GBP / $87.96 USD) NET per night for a club floor Deluxe room, which was around 50% less than the usual best rate. Even taking the massive discount into consideration, 2,900 baht per night is still quite pricey by local standards. That's despite the fact that it wouldn't get you into anything but the most basic hotel rooms in most cities back home in the UK.
If I was travelling alone I'd have gone for a more mid-range accommodation at less than half the price, but since I was travelling with a girlfriend and only staying for a few nights it was worth splurging on a 5-star hotel.
After checking into the hotel we spent a few hours in the late afternoon exploring the city. Chiang Mai is situated in a mountainous region in the north of Thailand so it has a climate that makes walking a lot more comfortable than in Bangkok. Don't get me wrong, it's still hot and humid, but far less so than Bangkok which the World Meteorological Organization crowned 'the hottest city on earth'.
After a relaxed walk around the city we visited the large Night Market that was beside our hotel. There we enjoyed excellent foot massages costing just 100 THB (£1.93 GBP / $3.03 USD).
For dinner we found a popular local restaurant where we sampled the Chiang Mai speciality known as Khao Soi.
Khao Soi is deep-fried crispy egg noodles in a curry-like broth. We ate Khao Soi Gai ('Gai' is the Thai word for 'Chicken') which was incredibly delicious and cost just 45 THB (£0.87 GBP / $1.36 USD) per bowl.
Elephant Sanctuary
After a great sleep in the incredibly comfy bed at Dusit D2 we woke up bright and early to travel into the countryside where we spent the day at an elephant sanctuary. I did a lot of research before deciding on which sanctuary to visit, which was important as most elephant sanctuaries in Thailand are places where these wonderful animals are regularly beaten or made to do stupid unnatural things purely for the entertainment of tourists.
At Ran-tong Save and Rescue Centre they purchase elephants that have been abused, either used as work animals or exploited for entertainment, and give them a better home where they are loved and treated kindly and with respect. There's no heavy chains, sticks or hooks used to control the elephants, or big chairs attached to them that hurt their backs due to pressure being applied to the same point constantly, or being made to do stupid stuff like play football or paint pictures purely for the entertainment of tourists.
Ran-tong is quite a bit more expensive than the many sketchy elephant sanctuaries, at 4,800 THB (£93.39 GBP / $145.99 USD) for 2 people / 1 elephant for the full day, but I felt that it was worth paying to support a sanctuary that is actually caring for their elephants rather than hurting them.
We were given a 13 year old boy elephant named Superman for the day. The elephants age pretty much matches with humans in terms of maturity. Out of all the elephants he was the one with the strongest personality and was quite a mischievous kid as I found to my disadvantage when he picked up piles of wet mud with his trunk and started throwing it at other elephants. I got a face full of it when he through it over his back. When we got to some open area he decided he wanted to race against another elephant and started running, while I was on his back. Fun but a little scary!
Made a new friend, 13 year old male elephant named Superman.
A photo posted by Dale Philip (@daleroxxu) on
We spent the day trekking around the countryside with Superman and his mahout controlling him by shouting commands. The mahouts have a special bond with their elephants and are the only ones that the elephants will accept instructions from.
With the sun beating down in the afternoon we took the elephants to a small lake to bathe and cool down.
We then had many further stops for the elephants to rest and us to feed them. They eat A LOT. Adult elephant can eat over 100 kg of food per day. After so many times feeding the elephants, the staff at the sanctuary fed us - Khao Soi! Yum! If I was able to eat 100 Kg of it, I certainly would have.
Tiger Kingdom
After a day with elephants we spent the next day with animals of a more carnivorous nature - tigers. *gulp*.
We visited the Tiger Kingdom 'sanctuary' where visitors are allowed to get up close to these ferocious animals. Again, this was a place that I did some research on before visiting, to make sure that the animals were not chained up, drugged or mistreated in any way. That was all true but after experiencing the place first hand I left with negative feelings.
Tiger Kingdom was much smaller and more busy than I had expected and it just felt like one massive tourist trap. There were literally hundreds of sweaty white people hanging around outside small tiger pens to have their 15 minutes of posing for photos with the tigers. Every idiot's photos looking exactly the same as the previous idiot's photos.
Well count me in as one of those idiots. Unlike everyone else I didn't just sit around near the tiger's ass for safety, I actually gave it a proper good cuddle, but I guess that just makes me an even bigger idiot.
The tigers at the sanctuary were all quite docile and showed little interest in playing. But from a safety point of view maybe that was a good thing. I asked one of the trainers why the tigers are all so tired and he assured me that they absolutely don't drug the animals. They just keep them extra well fed and tigers naturally aren't active until night time when visitors aren't allowed anywhere near them.
Unlike the elephant sanctuary I visited where every elephant was a rescued animal, every tiger at Tiger Kingdom was bred and raised there. I'd call that more of a 'tiger factory' than a 'tiger sanctuary'. Tigers are being produced for the sole reason of making money from tourists. It just didn't feel good and I felt quite guilty about being there and supporting their business with my entrance fee.
At a place like this I try to imagine what life is like from the animal's point of view. If I were a tiger would I prefer to live for up to 15 years running around in the wild or for up to 20 years in Tiger Kingdom sleeping, eating and posing for photos with stupid tourists all day?
I'd certainly prefer the former. But I guess that if any of these tigers weren't bred at Tiger Kingdom that they wouldn't be alive at all. So if I was a tiger living at Tiger Kingdom I think I'd just enjoy all the rolling around, sleeping and eating all day until I'd eventually get bored and decide to do something fun like maul a tourist.
Night Safari
In other animal-related activities, we visited Chiang Mai Night Safari. It can be difficult to find fun stuff to do at night time if you don't want to drink alcohol so the night safari seemed like a good plan.
The night safari is basically like a zoo except the animals are mostly free to roam around. You're not allowed to walk anywhere but you get driven though the massive park on a bus with the driver giving commentary.
It was a fun, interesting and the animals seemed to be happy and healthy.
Art in Paradise
On the day we flew back to Bangkok we had a few hours to kill between having to check out of the hotel and go to the airport. It was early afternoon and the sun was blazing so we wanted to go somewhere indoors with air conditioning. We discovered 'Art in Paradise' - a 3D illusion art museum where you can interact with the paintings.
It was a lot more fun than I expected and it turned out to be the perfect place to take a Thai girl who loves nothing more than taking photos at every opportunity she gets. Ok, I was taking a lot of photos too!
Unfortunately it was one of those annoying places with dual pricing. Entry to Art in Paradise is 180 THB (£3.51 GBP / $5.46 USD) unless you're foreign in which case you have the privilege of paying 300 THB (£5.85 GBP / $9.10 USD). I was on a tourist visa at the time so had to stump up the whitey tax but 300 THB still represents good value for 3 hours of entertainment.
I'm happy to say that I'm now on a student visa in Thailand and I'm finally getting the Thai price at these kind of places.
I enjoyed the short visit to Chiang Mai and wasn't bored for a single second that I was there. I can see it being a place that I'll return to many times in the future as it's such an affordable location to travel to and stay and there's plenty of stuff to do there. Not to mention plenty of delicious Khao Soi.
UKIPT Marbella - Trip Report 5 Sep 2014 3:19 AM (10 years ago)
Marbella is a coastal resort in the massive tourist trap of the Costa del Sol in the south of Spain.
Beaches, hotels, bars, drunk Brits, drunk Germans - and not a whole lot else. It's not type of place that I generally visit as I believe there are far more fun, interesting and culturally rich places on earth but I travelled to Marbella primarily to play the UK and Ireland Poker tour event.
Yes, that well known part of the UK in the south of Spain. Actually, Marbella is only 50 miles up the road from the British Overseas Territory of Gibraltar, so I guess that's close enough.
I flew in from Helsinki, where it had just started to piss down with rain. It's a good feeling sitting on a aeroplane before take-off, staring out the window at the crappy weather you're leaving behind.
I had my 15 minutes at the beach in Marbella and that was enough to last me for the trip. Many of my fellow countrymen travel to the Costa del Sol and spend a whole week or two sunbathing on the beach or by the pool. Personally I can't think of anything worse. Lying around doing nothing may seem like the perfect holiday for a lot of people but I find it to be so incredibly boring.
I've also never understood people's obsession with the pursuit of a sun tan.
In Asia everyone is using skin whitening products and walking around with black umbrellas on a sunny afternoon. In Europe everyone is slapping orange gunk on their skin and lying face-up to the sun to absorb as much UV radiation as they can. Half the world are white and want to be dark, the other half are dark and want to be white. Madness.
Hotel
I chose not to stay at the official UKIPT hotel, the H10 Marbella. Personally, I can't justify paying to stay somewhere so expensive (and quite frankly - overpriced) in order to play a €1000 buyin poker tournament. I've actually never booked into an official hotel for a UKIPT event for this reason. I can always find much better options myself that offer greater comfort, internet service, safety and value.
I received an email today offering hotel options for UKIPT London. For a week-long stay in the cheapest room of the cheapest hotel (£190 per night) you'd be paying around 1.73x the price (£1,330) of the main event buyin (£770) just for a bed to sleep in each night. If the only reason that you went to London was to play that event then your long term expected ROI in the tournament would have to be 173% in order break even from the expense of the hotel. That's without even considering the cost of flights, trains, taxis and eating out.
My opinion is that it only makes financial sense to stay in these hotels if you win a full package online. Even then, it's not like the hotel is free as you and the other players are paying for it in the cost of your satellite entries. The best value move is to play seat-only satellites and arrange your own accommodation with a discount hotel site such as Agoda, stay with a host or rent an apartment using Airbnb or stay with a friend who lives in the area. Sharing a room with a friend who won a package is also something to consider.
As a professional poker player I believe that it's important to treat poker like a business. Successful businesses are always looking for ways to streamline their running costs. Poker sites and the media try to sell us this image of pro poker players being "ballers", throwing money around like crazy, but the reality is that you need to be smart and look for value away from the poker table in order to maintain a long-term sustainable career as a poker professional.
I'm not forgetting that most of the participants of a UKIPT aren't professional poker players (thankfully). For most people poker is about fun and enjoyment more than it is about trying to earn money. For casual players or even professionals who travel to the UKIPT events mainly for a bit of fun and to meet up with their poker friends, if you can easily afford to stay in expensive hotels then fair enough, splash out.
Considering other factors than money, there are certain benefits to staying in the official hotel. If the poker tournament is being held at the same venue then being able to roll out of bed and straight into the poker room is handy for all the degens who find it tough to get out of bed before noon. Also, staying in the same hotel as most of the other poker players makes it easier to be social. For me though, the negatives far outweigh the benefits.
Have you ever tried to use the internet at a hotel that's booked out with poker players? Yeah, don't bother. Safety, at a hotel full of online poker players, is also a concern. You and your laptop could be an easy target for criminals.
By now most people are aware of what is alleged to have happened at EPT Barcelona last year. It was alleged that criminals, aided by people working in the hotel, entered the rooms of guests to install malicious Remote Access Trojans on their laptops. The motivation for doing so being to view the victim's screen remotely and defraud them at online poker and in other ways.
I'd rather just be a random person in a random hotel or apartment than worry about being a massive target for criminals.
So back to UKIPT Marbella. I found a great value hotel using Agoda that was 20 minutes walk away from the casino. It also included breakfast and dinner buffet which was great as eating out in Marbella isn't cheap. #ThriftyScotsman
Registration
After checking in to my hotel I walked over to Casino Marbella to register. It would save me queuing up the next day when I go to play Day 1b of the UKIPT main event.
I entered the casino and was immediately confronted by a woman in a suit dress. She looked down her nose at me and told me that I was not allowed inside the casino because I wearing shorts.
That was a bit of a "WTF?" moment for me. There has never been a dress code at any venue I've played poker at in the past, and there I was, at a casino in the middle of a beach resort, in the middle of summer, being told that I had to wear trousers to get inside. Absolutely ludicrous.
It wasn't as if it was even a fancy casino and practically the whole venue was taken over by poker players anyway. Why couldn't the poker players who've taken over the casino for a week just dress casually? Did they really expect everyone to turn up dressed up like James Bond to play a bowl poker tournament in a bowl casino in the bloody Costa del Sol? It's hardly Monte Carlo.
I told the woman that my hotel was far away and that I couldn't go back to change easily. She asked me if I was going to play at the gaming tables so I just lied to, ahem - bluffed, her and told her I was going to play roulette - as if I'm enough of a mug to play house games. She then gave me a pair of smart trousers to borrow and showed me to the toilets.
Trying to get those trousers up over my big massive Scottish thighs was a challenge but I did manage to get them on. They were far too small for me. The shorts that I arrived in were wearing basically 3/4 length trousers and fairly smart looking. The new skinny ass trousers that I was wearing were so small that they were barely a couple of inches longer than my shorts.
I was finally deemed to be dressed acceptably enough to enter the casino. I walked in slowly and awkwardly, trying not to rip the arse out of the trousers, while holding my long shorts in one hand. Yes, much more acceptable.
I walked through the casino looking for the reception desk for the UKIPT event but couldn't find it. I asked members of casino staff but none of them spoke a word of English and one tried to send me back to speak to the snotty woman at reception.
I found the media desk where the bloggers do their blogging, so a bunch of familiar faces were there. Danny Maxwell, who's the photographer who does all the photos, broke the bad news to me that the registration desk wasn't in the casino, but in the hotel next to the casino. Doh. Quite annoying as the welcome email mentioned that we'd have to register with the casino, but not that it would be done in the hotel.
So as I stood there looking like my cat died, with my shorts in my hand, everyone had a good laugh at my misfortune. Oh well, I have a good sense of humour so I found it more funny than anyone.
Over at the hotel the registration for the UKIPT Main Event was quick, friendly and the Spanish bloke spoke perfect English. However he did spell my name wrong, which is a massive pet hate of mine. Hyachachachacha.
It happens to me at least 80% of the time that I sign up for anything. It's gotten so bad that whenever I'm asked for my name I make a point of handing them my drivers license AND spelling it out for them letter by letter. And they still manage to screw it up.
It's just reading and writing. You look at 6 letter word and type it into a computer. Don't change anything. Don't type in what you think my name should be spelled like. Just type in the 6 letters that you see infront of you. It's not rocket science.
UKIPT Main Event Day 1
After a slap-up breakfast buffet at my hotel I wrapped up a bunch of pastries in napkins, filled my pockets, and walked over to Casino Marbella to play Day 1b of the UKIPT Main Event.
I didn't recognise anyone at my starting table. They mostly looked the same to me anyway - that is 20 year kids wearing hoodies, shades and massive headphones.
One Spanish kid two to my right was sitting with a tablet on his lap, watching full length movies throughout the whole day. If poker is so boring and uninteresting to you that you need to do that, then why do you even play at all?
On the flip site another Spaniard across the table from me was jumping up and down every time he won a pot. He got all-in for his last 5k in chips versus the guy sitting next to him, won the flip, slammed the table and cheered at the top of his voice as if he'd just won the tournament. Calm down son, it's day 1 and you still only have half the starting stack, there's a long way to go yet.
I was lucky enough to have friendly players on my direct left and right who were fun to chat with throughout the day. A Swedish guy called Kjell and an English guy called Tony Phillips (yes, that's the correct spelling of his name) who's a retired poker pro.
However, I was unlucky enough to have the worst dealers I've ever had in any poker tournament I've played. They weren't just bad - they were atrocious.
The dealers switched several times through the day but it didn't matter. Each and every dealer made misdeals or other screw-ups multiple times per orbit. It was very frustrating to deal with but I didn't show that frustration to the dealers as I knew it wasn't their fault. It seemed obvious as to what was going on.
The dealers at UKIPT events in the past have been the best, more professional dealers I've experienced at any poker tournament. Those dealers weren't present at UKIPT Marbella though. At UKIPT Marbella there were local dealers, who I assume were employed by the casino with little to no previous experience and were given a crash course in dealing poker the day before the tournament.
Perhaps the casino said something like "If you hire our venue then you need to use and pay for our staff.", or something along those lines to the UKIPT. I can't think of any other explanation for replacing the best poker dealers in the world with complete novices for one of their events.
To add insult to injury, the 3% of the prizepool that's taken out for dealer costs at UKIPT events was increased to 4% for UKIPT Marbella. Pay more, get less.
All of the bets and actions were announced by the dealers in Spanish. That was a surprise because I've played PokerStars events in other European countries and actions were announced in English, because they are international events and English is the universal language. Considering that this particular event carried the "UKIPT" name it was extra strange.
I certainly don't to travel to foreign countries and expect everyone to speak English. If they want to announce bets in Spanish in a poker tournament in Spain that's fair enough, but I wish I knew about it in advance so I could learn the numbers and the words for common actions.
Towards the end of the day there was an incident where Kjell, Tony and I were chatting away and the Spanish fella who was watching the movies on his tablet complained to the dealer. He couldn't understand what we were saying so was worried about collusion, so the dealer told us that we're not allowed to speak English.
Tony made that chirping noise that dealers use to get the attention of the floormen and got that decision overruled pretty quickly.
As for hands that I played, I can't remember. Usually I will tweet throughout the day but as usual the WiFi was completely unusable. That's not usually a problem as I will just use 3G on my phone, but none of us were getting a phone signal either.
I think that making sure there's a usable internet connection should be more of a priority for the UKIPT in this age of social media. To have hundreds of people posting on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram about your event in real time is the kind of advertising that you can't buy.
I ended the day with 21,900 in chips - a 10% ROI on my starting stack. Grinders gonna grind.
UKIPT Main Event Day 2
With 22K in chips at BB1,200 I wasn't messing around. In the first hand of the day I shoved over a raise then stole the blinds a couple of times to chip up to 30K.
It was folded to me on the Hijack with KJo so I minraised to 2,400. There was a blonde-haired, Scandi-looking lad on my direct left and 3-bet me to 6,000. It seemed a perfect spot for him to 3-bet light and having a Scandi on my left I wanted to make a stand the first time he 3-bet me so I shipped it in for 30K.
He sighed and flicked it in pretty quickly and I didn't beat his pocket 9's so that was the end of my tournament, sent back to my hotel to take a siesta.
Spain vs Holland
An event was organised beside the hotel pool. Unlimited free drinks and the Spain vs Holland world cup match shown on a big screen.
I guess I don't need to go over this again but..... A few of the Spanish lads got a little pissed off at the manor in which I celebrated Robin Van Persie sticking the ball in the Spanish goal with incredible class. I mean the goal was class. My celebration - not so much, haha.
Link to the full story in an earlier blog post.
Despite all the threats and intimidation I did manage to sneak out of there without getting hurt, although I was constantly looking over my shoulder on the way back to my hotel - and for the rest of the week as it happens.
England vs Italy
The next evening another football screening was held. This one acted as the official players party and was held on the beach with unlimited free BBQ food. I was right into that, yum!
Gerald Cochlan had got there early and saved us the best seats, front and centre, right beside the big screen. What a hero.
It was a great night and lots of banter. Thankfully the English, unlike the Spanish, can take a bit of banter whether they're winning.........
..... or they're losing.
Credit to René Velli for the excellent photos.
Like all players parties at poker events this was an absolute sausage fest, and I'm not just talking about the BBQ. Do you see any females at all in the above photos?
Well I did manage to find one - that troublemaker Kellyann Heffernan.
And ended up spending the next half hour explaining the offside rule to her.................. Sigh.
Side event
I don't usually play side events when I travel for a poker tournament as I think that my time is better spent having fun and exploring the place that I'm visiting. There's not much to do or see that interests me in Marbella and like I say, I'm not into sunbathing, so I decided to play the EPT Structure Super Turbo.
I turned up at the cash desk and they wouldn't take my money. I had no idea what was going on and out of the three members of staff working there not one of them spoke a word of English.
Considering how the casino is the middle of a massive tourist resort that is quite ridiculous. Anyone working in any job where they have to interact with a many foreigners should be fluent in English. I could go to a casino in less developed countries like Egypt or Cambodia and every member of staff would speak English, and likely French and Russian too.
I figured out what was up as one of the staff showed me a piece of paper with the number 85 written on it. There were 85 alternates. To hell with that.
Lads
Having had a wasted journey to the casino I wandered all over the hotel trying to pick up a 3G signal so I could start messaging people to see who wanted to hang out. It's really absurd when you're struggling to get a decent internet connection in a developed European country. I've been in the middle of Cambodia streaming YouTube videos on my phone and I have a blazingly fast 4G service where I live in Thailand, but in the so called "glamorous" resort of Marbella in Spain it's like the bloody stone age.
I eventually got in touch with Paul Febers and Andrew Hedley who invited me up to their room - which looked like it was hit by a ballistic missile. It was early evening but they were still nursing hangovers from the night before.
Andrew was eating what looked like a bowl of urine. "The hell is that?" I asked. They both burst out laughing. Andrew explained that they called room service - who spoke very little English, and ordered chicken skewers, steak, chips and soup. They waited forever, starving, then all that arrived was two bowls of clear yellowish liquid that they had no idea what it was. "I didn't even have the energy to argue with him, I just signed for it and told him to get lost".
There was a pile of €20 and €50 notes and change lying amongst the trash that was scattered all over the room. The lads started to debate who owned it and neither of them really knew. "No idea, ahh just you take it Paul.", "Nah you take it mate, it's probably yours.". I found that hilarious.
I feel like the most value I get out of attending UKIPT events is the friends that I've made. Poker players often get a bad rap but all the UK and Irish lads I've spent time with at these events have been top lads. Sure, some of them are complete and absolute degenerates when it comes to drinking and gambling, but they've all been completely and absolutely honest and friendly in my experience with them.
Willie Elliot stopped on his way to the bar, where he was going to buy everyone a drink, to take this photo of a bunch of us hanging out at the pool. What a top man that Willie is.
and another with funny faces.....
Later that evening we had an awesome night out in the town, hopping from bar to bar and eventually gatecrashing a hen party. I went out with Neil Raine and Gerald Cochlan who I've been good friends with for a while, and also Trix Fraser and Ashley Locker who I met for the first time at UKIPT Marbella. Fantastic lads to have a night out with.
I bailed "early" at 2 am because I'd arranged a Karting with a bunch of the lads the next morning and wanted to make sure I'd wake up in time for it.
Karting
Willie Elliot and I had an idea to get all the lads out to a Karting track the day after UKIPT Marbella ended. Most of us were either staying longer or had a late flight so it seemed like the perfect way to get everyone together for one last get-together.
Between us we must have gotten about 30 people to say "yes" or "maybe" to attending, so we booked the track for 20 people. The actual number of people who turned up...... 7, that's including me and Willie. That's what happens when you organise something for the morning after a bunch of poker degens have a night out.
I tried my very hardest to win a race for the first time in the week.......
.... but no joy. We ended up racing against a group of Finnish lads who were excellent drivers. Fortunately we had an even better driver of our own, Dode, who showed them up.
The Karting was a fun way to end my trip to Marbella, and I did finally make a couple of Spanish friends after all.
Helsinki, Finland - Trip Report 27 Aug 2014 11:19 AM (10 years ago)
I was sitting at my laptop looking to book a flight ticket from Bangkok to Marbella to play in the UKIPT. The best I could find was a journey with Finnair that was a 10.5 hour flight to Helsinki, followed by an 11.5 hour wait in the airport before a 4 hour flight to Spain. Screw, that!
Whenever a long haul flight has a connection it's generally no more expensive to book it as two separate legs on the same ticket and enjoy a few days stopover in the connection city, so that's what I did. I did the exact same thing last year with an Emirates flight between Glasgow and Bangkok that had a connection in Dubai.
The way I look at stopping over on connections is that it's like taking an extra vacation somewhere but not having to pay for the flights. I surely would have taken trips to Dubai and Helsinki at some point anyway, but this way I did it without the expense of the flights.
Talking of expense - it's difficult to spend time in Finland without spewing loads of money. Nothing is cheap. Accommodation is of course the main expense, with just a standard Holiday Inn type hotel in the centre of Helsinki costing €155 per night. Bare in mind that the hotel where I'm currently living in in Bangkok costs €225 per month, so I wasn't about to spend a couple of months rent on a few nights vacation.
As usual, Airbnb came up trumps. I was able to rent a studio apartment in the bullseye centre of city for €66 per night - less than half the price of a hotel room in the same location. The apartment was pretty small, with a sofa that converted into a bed, but it was all very clean and new and perfect for someone travelling alone.
The benefit of staying in an apartment over a hotel isn't just the cost. Having a kitchen is nice. Being able to pour myself a bowl of muesli in the morning or make myself an omelette late at night is a lot more convenient and cheaper than eating out or room service.
Another big advantage, especially for an online poker player, is having a dedicated internet connection that I don't have to share with anyone. The owners of this apartment even provided me with a 4G 50Mbit portable router for free, so I was constantly connected to the internet everywhere I went in Helsinki.
Finnair Sky Wheel
I went out to explore Helsinki on foot during my first day. As I was staying in the very centre of the city everything was in walking distance. I was amazed at how clean and nice the city was and so much space with wide pavements and a lack of people. Basically the opposite of Bangkok. It was nice being able to walk down a street without having to navigate through hoards of people, food carts and motorbikes coming towards me at full speed.
I walked to the harbour area and came across the Finnair Sky Wheel that I didn't even know existed. I turned out that it had just opened a few days earlier, so that's why it wasn't in any travel guides or blogs.
It looked like a fun way to get a different perspective of the city so I decided to give it a spin.
The first orbit was fun, the second less so, and after that it was just boring. There's actually not to much to see and the sky wheel isn't that tall. The windows also have a weird blue tint (possibly a UV filter) that makes it difficult to take a decent photo.
At a cost of €12 it was not worth the money in my opinion. Better value was found close by though. I was served up a delicious salmon steak and vegetables for €10 at the harbour market nearby. In Helsinki any meal under €10 is a bargain, you pay close to that for a Big Mac meal.
Reindeer Pizza
Wherever I travel to in the world I like to try any unique local foods. The only thing unique about Finnish cuisine that I knew about was reindeer meat. It's popular in Lapland where it's considered an expensive delicacy.
Well I didn't take the journey to Lapland and I didn't spend a fortune either, but I did eat some reindeer meat.
Kotipizza, a Finnish pizzeria has a pizza called the Berlusconi (€11.50) with smoked reindeer as its main topping. The pizza was created as a response to controversial comments made by Italian prime minister Silvio Berlsuconi who said he had to "endure" Finnish food when visiting the country and followed it up but saying "There is absolutely no comparison between culatello (speciality ham) from Parma and smoked reindeer".
It was a mighty fine pizza. As for what the reindeer meat tasted like, well whenever someone eats some kind of unusual meat they usually say it "tastes like chicken". This didn't taste like chicken, it tasted quite unique, I'm not sure how to describe it actually, but it was nice.
"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very unique taste, and if you ever saw it, you'd want it with cheese and tomato paste. Oh Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you hand me a fork tonight?" (thanks for that line Jen!)
Hietaniemi Beach
With a stomach full of bread, cheese and Rudolph the Reindeer, I took a night time stroll to a beach that I discovered using Google Maps on my phone.
I headed for the yellow area near the sea, which had to be a beach, and it looked like there was a massive park that I had to walk through to get there. I got to the big green area and it was actually a cemetery. I started to walk through it anyway, thinking there would be a park on the other side. Well, it turns out that whole massive green area is just one large graveyard. I couldn't get out of it easily, every gate was padlocked shut and I'd walked too far to be bothered walking all the way back and finding a different route.
Getting stuck and lost in a cemetery late at night would have been a lot worse if it wasn't for the fact that night time in Helsinki has bright daylight during the summer. During my stay there it only got dark between 11pm and 4am and even then it wasn't black-dark, the sky was a beautiful dark blue.
I did manage to find an exit to the graveyard, thankfully, and made it to Helsinki's only beach. It was approaching 9pm at night but there were still a few people sitting on the beach, enjoying the sunshine ....
.... playing beach volleyball ....
.... and even a bloke on some ridiculously cool jet pack thing ....
Linnanmäki (Amusement Park)
If I visit a city and it has an amusement park, it's high on my list of things to do. Helsinki has Linnanmäki, which opened in 1950. That doesn't mean that the rides are ancient as the park has been constantly updated through the years. There are a lot of old rides still there but there's plenty of new thrill rides too.
The oldest ride was the wooden rollercoaster in the photo above. It was built in 1951. It didn't look very fast, about 60 km/h, but I had to ride it anyway because it's a part of history. Well done to them for keeping it maintained for 64 years. It was actually more thrilling than I expected because of the fact that it's all wooden and shaky - it makes it a bit scary.
The fastest ride was Ukko, which is a loop of 150 meters with 2 inversions. The speed hits 105 km/h.
I had a whole day of fun at Linnanmäki so I felt like I got value for my €37 unlimited-ride wristband. I left after 8pm and walked back to the centre of Helsinki. passing a lake and a park, in glorious warm sunshine. I remember how good I felt during that stroll. A massive dose of fun, exercise, fresh air and sunshine would put anyone in a good mood.
Suomenlinna
The fortress islands of Suomenlinna, where construction began in 1748, are a quick, cheap, 2km ride from the Helsinki harbour on a public transport ferry. The weather was glorious so it seemed like the perfect place to spend a day.
Many of the buildings on the island have been turned into museums or other attractions but even without visiting them I'd spent a few hours walking around exploring the forts.
I wished that I'd brought a picnic but fortunately there are restaurants and cafes on Suomenlinna. I had a nice salmon sandwich inside this submarine which has been converted into a museum and cafe.
I got talking to a local couple who were visiting the island. In Finland everyone speaks English with very high proficiency so it's easy to approach people with confidence.
They proudly explained that they can travel on the ferry to Suomenlinna for free with their transport card, because it's part of the public transport system. I told them that if I lived in Helsinki I would be visiting Suomenlinna all the time. "Yes, well the weather isn't exactly like this all the time" the guy said, "We have maybe two weeks per year that's as nice as this. This is the first time we've travelled here this year."
He did explain that the islands were magnificently beautiful when covered in snow, but I was quite happy to experience the summer version.
I didn't get off the island without a bit of drama though. I tried to walk closer to the flag in the photo above so that I could take a good photo of it. I walked on the grass and was physically attacked by a massive seagull. It probably thought that making it's nest on a fortress island would be the safest place, not expecting an invasion from a big daft Scotsman.
Finnish Friend
I like travelling to places on my own because it gives me a lot of freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want to. I do try to make local friends though as I think that's the best way to experience any place you visit. When you hang out with locals you learn and experience things that you won't find in a travel guidebook.
I did manage to make a cute, blonde Finnish friend called Elina, but not until my last night in Helsinki. It was a shame because she told me that her family owns a cottage in the north of Finland that's next to a big lake and we could have taken a trip there and gone sailing and fishing.
She offered to drive me to the airport for my flight to Marbella the next day, but not before stopping by a mini-golf course to kick my ass. I played terrible....
.... but maybe I was doing it wrong?
Elina said that we still had plenty of time so we visited a nice restaurant for lunch before driving to the airport. On the journey to the airport it looked like we were cutting it fine, with just 15 minutes before check in was due to close for my flight. "Don't worry" she said, "we're just a few minutes away".
I started to relax and continued the conversation. She was telling me that she didn't know of any Scottish singers so I explained to her who the Proclaimers were and started singing their version of "King of the Road". I thought I sounded absolutely fantastic but she burst out into a fit of laughter.
"Stop it", I said, "it's not supposed to be funny! :(". She was laughing so hard that she slowed down and stopped the car right in the middle of the motorway, laughing her ass off, her sides splitting. "What the hell are you doing?" I gasped. "I'm going to miss my flight."
That was when learned the real reason why she was laughing. "I've run out of petrol" she said. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????? You're just pulling my leg right? move!!!!" I asked. She kept laughing, but got her breath and told me that she really had run out of petrol. So there we were, stuck on the motorway, agonisingly close to the airport where check-in for the only flight to Malaga (for Marbella) was about to close.
We were still too far away for me to run with my heavy bags, so that wasn't an option. Elina said there was a petrol station further up the road so she started running. I stayed by her car which was blocking one of two lanes on the motorway, taking the death stare from drivers who were forced to slow down as they passed.
The pink dot in the background is Elina running. She was soon out of sight and time started ticking away. When there were less than 5 minutes before check-in was due to close I had given up hope. I couldn't see her running back, and even if see did appear in the distance there wouldn't be enough time for her to get back to the car, fill up the tank and drive to the airport.
I was already thinking about how much hassle and money this was going to cost me. I had a hotel and private shuttle service waiting for me in Spain that I'd paid for in advance, I'd have to spend an extra night in Helsinki and get another flight to Malaga the next day, if there was one - which was no guarantee, otherwise it was going to be difficult for me to get there in time to play the poker tournament.
As I was looking in the distance for Elina a taxi pulled up behind the car. "Brilliant", I thought, "here's a helpful taxi stopping to ask if need his help to get to the airport, when my suitcase is locked inside the boot of the car." But to my surprise Elina jumped out of the taxi with a can of petrol. Wow.
"No time to explain, let's just get this into the tank." she said. She proceeded to try to pour the petrol in without the funnel and it was leaking everywhere. I got her to attach the funnel and I held it in place as she was all panicked and shaking. The petrol still spilled all over my hands and splashed all over my jeans and hoodie. "That's enough", I said, "that'll do for now".
We got back in the car and started driving. Elina franticly told me what had happened at the petrol station. She got there and realised that she didn't have a container for the petrol, and the shop didn't sell any. Two men seen how distressed she was and helped her out. One found her a can for the petrol and the other was a taxi driver who offered to abort his break early to drive her back.
Elina dropped me off right at the front door to airport departures and I ran with my suitcase to the check-in desk. There were less than two minutes to go and I was absolutely stinking of petrol. Fortunately I found the desk quickly and there was no queue. The girl at the desk proceeded to check me in while I stood well back so that she wouldn't smell me. I obviously had a great excuse for turning up to an airport covered in a highly flammable liquid but there was simply no time for any questioning.
I received my boarding pass 28 seconds before check-in closed and turned around to see Elina who gave me a massive hug. She was apologising profusely but I asked her "Why are you sorry? You got me here on time, just like you said you would." :)
Looking back on it, after the way things turned out in Marbella, I wish I had missed the flight. So close!
Hong Kong - Trip Report 19 Aug 2014 6:02 AM (10 years ago)
After a week of fun in Korea I flew back to Thailand, but not before stopping by Hong Kong on the way. My plan was to spend 3 days there hiking in the rural areas. Yes, apparently Hong Kong has rural areas!
I'd visited Hong Kong before and didn't think much of the place. My experience was one of being surrounded by massive buildings and millions of people. Hong Kong is incredibly overpopulated and it seemed like no area of land was undeveloped.
It was only after reading the blogs of my fellow travellers that I learned there's a lot more to Hong Kong than I'd previously experienced. I learned about the many isolated beaches, incredible forests and mountains with breathtaking views that Hong Kong has to offer. So I returned with the intention of exploring these areas and experiencing a totally different side to Hong Kong.
What I hadn't planned for was terrible weather. There was a massive storm for the entire length of my visit, which unfortunately meant it wouldn't be safe or comfortable to do the hikes that I'd planned.
I had to quickly come up with a 'plan b', which I did easily enough. I decided to spend a few days eating the local food - always a must when travelling, and visiting amusement parks - always fun for a big kid like me. Now a tropical storm may not seem like amusement park weather to most people, but that's exactly the reason I wanted to visit them. Wet weather absolutely guarantees a low turnout at amusement parks, which means no queues for any of the rides.
Crabs
It was my first night in Hong Kong and I'd already gotten crabs. The good kind at least.
To get the meat out of the crab's claws you have to smash through them with a cracker tool. It was so tasty that I didn't want to leave anything behind and was picking every last piece of juicy meat out of the claws.
I got in some mess eating that lot with my bare hands, food all over my t-shirt like a child. Fortunately I was eating at a shabby-looking street restaurant with plastic tables and chairs so I wasn't too concerned about my shabby dining etiquette. I could see the women who work there looking at me and laughing with each other though, bastards.
Disneyland
Hong Kong has the smallest Disneyland in the world. With that in mind, and the fact there would be no queues because of the weather, I was confident about turning up mid-afternoon and still getting a go on every ride.
My first ride was the ride to actually get there. Disneyland has it's own line on the Hong Kong metro. Convenient and also fun - the train windows are Mickey Mouse shaped.
The first people, or rather mice, to greet me at Disneyland were my old pals Mickey and Minnie. It's been a couple of years since I last hung out with them, at Disney Sea in Tokyo, so it was good to catch up. Although they are always very quiet, never have much to say.
As much as I love Mickey and Minnie, the Disney princesses were a lot more fun to hang out and chat with. Don't they look happy to have found a handsome Scottish prince? :)
When it came to the rides there was literally zero queues to get on any of them, even the best ones. It may be the smallest Disneyland in the world but a Disneyland where you don't have to queue for any of the rides is the best Disneyland in the world as far as I'm concerned.
Within a couple of hours I'd been on every ride that was worth going on, many of them multiple times. I rode Space Mountain about 5 times so knew when the camera flash was coming........
Like every Disneyland there's a big parade in the middle of the day. That's where I finally saw my chipmunk namesake, Dale, who I'd been looking for all day.
Towards the end of the day the rain started lashing down. It was right at the time the Lion King show was starting so almost everyone in the entire park rushed into the theatre to watch it.
There was lots of dancing and all the awesome songs from the movie. That music could put anyone in a good mood. Hakuna matata!
I'd experienced most of what Hong Kong Disneyland had to offer and it wasn't even dark yet. There were fireworks scheduled before closing time but I just decided to GTFO. But not before devouring a delicious hot Mickey Mouse waffle with cream, maple syrup and strawberries. Yum!
Pineapple Fried Rice
I went out wandering the streets after getting back from Disneyland, looking for some good food. I found a little place that served pineapple special friend rice, served inside a hollow pineapple. I was impressed by this. The hollow pineapple adds a lot to the presentation and also the taste as you scrape the inside while spooning out the rice.
Not a bad meal for a few quid!
Egg Tarts
Asian portion sizes do leave me wanting more. Fortunately in Hong Kong you can find the tasty Portuguese Egg Tarts everywhere, hot and fresh. They are basically just egg custard and pastry, simple but delicious.
Ocean Park
The other of Hong Kong's two largest amusement parks that I visited was Ocean Park. It's much bigger than Disneyland and it's much more than just an amusement park, it's also a oceanarium and zoo.
Ocean Park doesn't have Mickey Mouse or his Disney friends but they do have something even cuter, Pandas! Five of them!
It also features some stunning views, both from the restaurant..........
..... and from a 360 spinning tower in the middle of the park.
Even on a cloudy, stormy day the views were beautiful. Even more beautiful - the lack of people in the park, meaning a day of unlimited rides with zero queues.
The best ride by far is Hair Raiser - a twisting, high-speed rollercoaster built on the side of a mountain.
I was talking to a girl who said she queued for two hours to ride it last summer, and that was a fairly normal wait time. Well I queued for zero hours and zero minutes, each of the eight time that I rode it. Hooray for stormy days.
When it really, really started pissing it down I took shelter at a dolphin show.
It was very impressive. Dolphins are incredibly intelligent creatures. Which makes me consider the morals of keeping them in captivity. I wish it was possible to talk to them and find out how happy they are with their lives.
Ichiran
Hong Kong has a branch of the famous Japanese ramen restaurant Ichiran. It was recommended to me by a bloke on twitter. You can do a lot of research online about what to see and where to eat when you travel but you can't beat a personal recommendation from someone.
Ichiran is in the Casueway Bay area of Hong Kong, where I went to visit a famous video game arcade. It turns out the arcade was shut down last year so Ichiran saved me a wasted trip.
It's the perfect restaurant for people eating on their own as you are given your own little booth so slurp up your noodles in private. It is actually their policy to minimise the interaction with staff and customers as much as possible. The idea is that after spending the day surrounded by people in the city that you'd rather just relax and enjoy your ramen in peace. Well, suits me.
You're given a sheet of paper with tick-boxes to order the ramen to your personal taste. After filling it out you press a button and a hand comes and takes the paper from you through the window. The owner of the hand says nothing.
Five minutes later a hand passes through a steaming hot bowl of ramen through the window and the same hand closes the window blind.
Slurp, slurp, omnomnomnom, yum yum. One of the best bowls of ramen I've ever had, and I didn't have to look at or talk to another human. :)
Spicy Noodles
I met a girl on my last night in Hong Kong and suggested that we go somewhere that local people eat. She brought up a website on her phone called Open Rice that is a user-generated content review site for local food restaurants. For any restaurant in Hong Kong you can see loads of food pics, reviews and overall ratings.
We chose a place nearby that looked good. Trying to find it was tough, we walked past it a couple of times not even noticing it. And no wonder, the place was tiny. It literally had just one big table and a wall shelf.
I ordered extra spicy noodles with chive pork dumplings and fried tofu. It was pretty cheap (about 3 or 4 quid British) so I wasn't expecting much, but when it arrived I could just tell from the presentation that my bowl of noodles was made with love. In most of the cheap restaurants in Asia they couldn't care less about presentation, and just slap the meal into the bowl like it's a dog's dinner.
Not only was it well presented but it tasted incredible. Incredibly spicy but that's what I asked for, and very meaty dumplings full of flavour.
The chef, who was the same guy that took our order, and seemed to be the only person working there, was very interested in my opinion of the meal. He asked me, through my friend who acted as an interpreter, lots of questions about the spiciness of the soup, texture of the dumplings, thickness of the noodles. It was obvious that he was really passionate about his food and he looked genuinely happy and proud when I told him it was perfect.
The restaurant is called 有緣小敍, which I guess won't be useful to most of my readers, but it has no signs or anything in English. Its Open Rice page is here: http://www.openrice.com/restaurant/sr2.htm?shopid=47432.
Cathay Pacific Lounge
On my way back to Bangkok I used flagship Cathay Pacific lounge 'The Wing' at Hong Kong airport. I've had gold status with Cathay since the start of the year which has the benefit of being able to use any Cathay Pacific or OneWorld Alliance (British Airways, Finnair, Iberia, Malaysian, etc. etc.) airport lounge, even when flying on a dirt cheap economy ticket.
One huge section of the lounge is a noodle bar where you can order (for free of course) from around 8 different types of noodles, made fresh to order. As if I hadn't already ate enough noodles on my trip to Hong Kong, but what the hell.... :)
The best part of the lounge for me was the 'Solus' chairs. Specially designed seating areas for people travelling alone that give a lot of privacy.
I flew back to Bangkok feeling great. I hadn't done any of the hiking that I had originally planned to do on my Hong Kong trip, but the shitty weather didn't stop me from enjoying myself there and I still have a reason to visit again soon.
Seoul, Korea - Trip Report 10 Aug 2014 1:59 AM (10 years ago)
Back in February I was in Dublin, Ireland to play a bit of poker. It was a trip that resulted in me losing money but gaining an awesome new Korean friend. That's a net win in my opinion.
Just a couple of weeks later my new friend, Yujin, flew over to Edinburgh visit me for my last weekend in Scotland before moving back to Thailand.
It was a fun opportunity to play tour guide for someone visiting my country for the first time, as well as spend time with someone that I really enjoyed spending time with. I'd been having a fairly miserable Scottish wintertime up until then so it was nice to enjoy my final weekend there.
In the dungeons of Edinburgh Castle I was surrounded by a group of Irish women who were extremely excited to see me and took a bunch of photos and selfies with me. One of them explained they saw me being filmed in Edinburgh the previous day (Ryan Firpo and his crew were shooting my PS Team Online documentary, that you will now never see) so I guess they must have thought I was famous or something.
It was a weird situation but I realised that I'd just found an excellent way to impress a girl. Yujin gasped "Wow, I feel like I'm with a movie star or something.". Of course I just acted smooth, as if it was quite normal. :)
After the weekend it was a sad goodbye as Yujin flew back to Dublin. Her plan was to live there for a further 6 months before returning to Korea to attend university. Irish immigration had different plans for her though. The heartless bastards briefly detained and then deported her. Incredibly, she ended up flying back to Korea at the exact same time as I flew back to Thailand.
Seoul, Korea
Playing online poker for a living gives me a tremendous amount of freedom, and Thailand isn't that far from Korea. Well, it's in the same continent at least, so I decided that I'd just fly over there for a visit.
Direct flights from Bangkok to Seoul were very expensive for the dates that I wanted to travel, but that's one of the situations that I collect airline miles for.
20,000 miles from my United Airlines account plus a mere $21 USD in tax got me a seat on Star Alliance partner Thai Airways.
I hardly ever get truly excited about travelling any more. When you do something often enough it becomes somewhat normal, no matter how exciting it is to begin with. This trip was different though, I could hardly sleep due to the excitement. It as much due to being reunited with someone that I missed as it was visiting somewhere for the first time and having my own awesome tour guide for a week.
The flight from Bangkok to Seoul took 5 and a half hours. Exactly the same time that it took Yujin to travel by road from her home town. Just like a month earlier, we were both travelling at exactly the same time, only this time it was to the same place.
Good quality western style hotels are absurdly expensive in Seoul and crappy ones aren't cheap either, so it was Airbnb to the rescue again. I love that site.
I found a cool loft duplex apartment in the centre of Hong Dae, a very lively party / university area and I paid less than 1/5th the price of a hotel room of equivalent size and standard. Included with the apartment was a portable WiFi device which meant that I had a free and fast internet connection everywhere I went in Seoul. Result!
Seoul is a very modern city with great infrastructure. There are fast and cheap subway trains that run directly from the airport into the city. I wish every city had that.
After riding the Seoul train from the airport it was about time for some Seoul food. We had arrived very late at night and Yujin suggested that we eat at a fried-chicken restaurant, the late night food of choice for young Koreans.
Yangnyeom Tongdak
That was when I was introduced to Yangnyeom Tongdak. A plate of boneless fried chicken in a delicious sweet sauce. One of the best things I've tasted in my life.
Yujin had made a list of different Korean foods for me to try during my visit (awesome tour guide!) but I asked her if we could just eat the Yangnyeom Tongdak for every meal. It would probably kill us but at least we'd die happy!
I didn't sleep happy that night though as my bed was rock hard. There may as well have been no bed at all as the floor would be no less comfortable to lie on. Apparently this is completely standard in Korea, they love their hard beds. Next time I travel there I'm taking a memory foam mattress topper with me!
Gimbap
On my first morning in Seoul I was sadly unable to convince Yujin that fried-chicken was an appropriate breakfast meal. Instead we visited a little cafe to eat Gimbap (Korean sushi).
The cafe was tiny with 6 small tables. Menu items were listed on the wall in Korean writing with no pictures. It was the kind of place that would be far too intimidating for me to go to on my own as I wouldn't know what they even sell or how to order or anything. I wouldn't expect the old woman who works there to speak any English either. So I was already feeling the benefit of having a local Korean friend with me.
Gyeongbokgung
My first afternoon was spent at Gyeongbokgung, an old royal palace. It was some national holiday so entry was free. I believe that it's usually ridiculously cheap anyway, but free is even better.
What a nice place to walk around in the warm spring weather, a peaceful retreat from the madness of the big city.
We were standing next the doorway in the picture above when a young Swedish guy walked through, while reading his guidebook, and absolutely smacked his head off the wooden beam with a loud KLUNK.
Of course I burst out laughing, because a) I love slapstick comedy and b) I'm an asshole, but then I quickly asked if he was ok and gave him a hug. We talked with him to make sure he wasn't concussed and he seemed like a really nice guy so I really did feel like an asshole for laughing.
I ended up looking like an asshole too when we played dress-up in traditional Korean guard and royal outfits. But it's all good fun, I'm down for anything. :)
Lotte World
I love amusement parks and it's always top of my list of things to do anywhere I visit. Seoul has a massive park called Lotte World and that's where we spent the rest of the first day. Unfortunately with it being a holiday in Korea it was quite busy, with long queues to get on the best rides, but we still had loads of fun.
One part of Lotte World is an indoor area called Magic Island which itself is the largest indoor amusement park in the world. You can, and we did, take a faux hot air balloon ride around it. It was fauxing cool.
Korean BBQ
I had an awesome first day in Seoul but ending it with some late night awesome food made it even more awesome-er.
Yujin suggested a restaurant called 'Palsaik - Pork of 8 Kinds Taste', a Korean BBQ restaurant which has the speciality of a set of 8 different flavours of pork belly.
At a Korean BBQ the meat is served raw and you just slap it on the grill in front of you until it's cooked to your liking. We also had a soup that we could throw vegetables and seafood into. What a fun and novel (for me at least) way to eat dinner.
There was way too much food for just the two of us but I just see those situations as a challenge. I had to eat about 3/4 of the food myself but we did finish everything. They practically had to roll me out of the restaurant, I couldn't move.
Unfortunately the deep food coma that I was in quickly wore off when I was back in the apartment lying on that damn rock-hard bed.
Dog Cafe
The following day Yujin took me to visit a 'dog cafe' where her friend works. I was all for sampling the local cuisine, but eating dog, that was just too far. "NO", she said, "The dogs are for playing with, we'll be eating cake!".
Ahhh, well that sounded much better. I'd heard of 'cat cafes' before, where you can enjoy some cute feline company while you sip your coffee, but didn't realise that a dog version of the concept existed.
I really like dogs but have never owned one. I do a pretty bad job of looking after myself, never mind another living creature, so it wouldn't be a good idea. I was very grateful to be able to enjoy the company of some nice doggies that someone else had trained, fed and cleaned up after.
I always find that the best things to do when travelling are things that you can't do back home, and this was one of them. There's just no way the dog cafe concept would be allowed to happen back in the UK because of strict food safety laws. They wouldn't allow animals to be around food. That's a shame as there's plenty of people living in UK cities who have lifestyles that prevent them from owning a pet, and who would love to visit a dog cafe.
Tteokbokki (Rice Cakes)
The next serving of Seoul food that I tried was 'rice cakes'. My idea of a rice cake was an unappetising, dry, circular biscuity type thing but it turns out that Korean rice cakes, called 'Tteok', are very different and a lot more delicious.
The rice cake is at the top right of the picture above. It's made by steaming glutinous rice flour and the result is a sticky, chewy substance. Stir-fried with some spicy sauce it's called 'Tteokbokki'. Delicious junk food that's available at street stalls in Seoul night and day.
Namsan Tower
The best view in Seoul is from Namsan Tower. It's not the tallest tower in the world but it's built on top of a mountain that overlooks the city so it has the effect of being enormous.
More Yangnyeom Tongdak
Yujin wanted me to try some Korean seafood pancake thing but I was able to convince her that eating the Yangnyeom Tongdak again was a better late-night food option.
Fortunately in Hong Dae there's no shortage of delicious fried-chicken restaurants open, even way past midnight. Back in Scotland your only option would be a chippy or a dirty doner kebab. I'm not saying the fried-chicken is much healthier, but it's a damn lot more delicious that's for sure.
Bulgogi
Breakfast the following day was a lot healthier. We ate Bulgogi which is thin strips of marinated prime-cut beef. Again it was an interactive dining experience as we grilled the beef ourselves on a stove that was placed on the table. Perhaps that's why there's no service charge or tipping in Korea, because most of the time you're cooking the food yourself.
The table was about 1ft (30cm) high, and the chairs, well, there were no chairs. I had to sit on the floor with my legs crossed, something I hadn't done since I was 11 years old and in primary school. It was another experience that I definitely wouldn't have had if I wasn't with a local Korean. Much fun and very delicious food.
Bugaksan Mountain
Full of bulgogi energy, we decided to hike across Bugaksan Mountain along the Seoul Fortress Wall.
Bugaksan Mountain is beside the Blue House where the president of South Korea lives and is heavily guarded with armed soldiers. It was closed to the public in 1968 after some North Koreans tried to cross it in an attempt to assassinate the president of the South and was only reopened to the public in 2007, due to it's historical importance. The Seoul Fortress wall was built way back in 1397. #HistoryLesson
To access the mountain we had to register with our passports and clear a security check. Once we were granted permission to enter the area we had to stick to a set narrow path and were not allowed to take any photos.
I'm pretty terrible at obeying rules though so we did manage to sneak a few photos!
When we reached the peak of the mountain the view from one side was breathtaking but unfortunately it was impossible take a photo. There was a huge military base on that side and we were shadowed closely by soldiers so there was just no way to sneak a pic.
We had covered 3/4 of the route when we got caught in a massive storm. Not exactly shorts and t-shirt weather but fortunately two soldiers invited us into their tiny lookout post for some shelter. They weren't up for any friendly chit-chat though, they take their job very seriously.
Fresh air, exercise, natural beauty, history and armed soldiers - hiking Bugaksan Mountain was a great experience.
Dak Galbi
We visited a different kind of chicken restaurant for our post-hike energy replenishment. Dak Galbi is pieces of chicken and rice cake in a spicy sauce.
Again there was a cooking station right in the middle of the table but this time we just ticked boxes on a sheet of paper with what we wanted (noodles please!), then a waitress stir-fried it in front of us.
After munching through 3/4 of it we asked for some rice and cheese. The waitress threw it onto the pan, put the heat back up and made us some tasty fried rice.
Eating out in Korea isn't just delicious, it's a lot of fun too.
Yeouido Hangang Park
Fortunately the stormy weather was short lived so we were able to spend the next day basking in sunshine in a huge park in Yeouido beside the Hangang river. There were thousands of people there having picnics (all the fried-chicken restaurants deliver to the park), skating, cycling, jogging, playing baseball and generally just enjoying life. It was nice to see so many happy people.
Bicycles are available to rent at the park and there's a dedicated paved cycle track that goes for miles and miles so that was a fun way to spend some time.
Nice weather, fresh air and exercise. That's what makes me feel good.
Dumplings
We came across a dumpling restaurant that had a long queue outside. It must be good!
Food blogging is very popular in Korea on a site called Naver which is basically like Google but is much more popular than Google in Korea. Apparently this restaurant has had great reviews on some of the most famous food blogs and now is extremely popular.
The Korean bloggers weren't wrong, those dumplings were incredible. They also get this blogger's seal of approval.
Sad Goodbyes
Next afternoon I had to say goodbye to Yujin as she had commitments in her home town. It was very sad as we'd just spent 5 days enjoying each other's company. I felt as close to her as I ever have to anyone, but now I didn't know when or if I'd ever see her again. So sad.
I had decided to stay an extra day in Seoul on my own because it was better for flights but that turned out to be a bad idea. I was staying in the same apartment, walking in the same streets and eating in the same restaurants as I had been previously with Yujin, only now she wasn't there. So lonely.
War Memorial
One of the things I found to do on my own was the War Memorial of Korea. A massive, and I mean massive, museum that exhibits and memorialises the military history of Korea.
The best part is actually outside. There's loads of tanks, aircraft and even a massive ship from the Korean war that you can go inside and play around with.
It also reminded me how much I missed Yujin as I had to ask strangers to take my photo for me, with hilarious results. I asked few different random people before someone understood me, then a woman took the blurriest photos ever, to which I politely said "thank you". I had to ask someone else to take the same photos of me, which the original woman saw, lol.
Annyeonghi Gyeseyo (Goodbye) Seoul
My visit to Seoul was easily one of my most favourite trips. I had great company, was immersed in the culture and was constantly having fun and eating delicious local food.
I've tried to imagine what my trip would have been like if I went there alone. I'd have missed out on a hell of a lot that's for sure. So if you have a friend who lives in a country that you've never been to before I suggest that you go visit them, well unless they live in Iraq or somewhere like that.
Living in Thailand 16 Jul 2014 2:02 AM (10 years ago)
In March I moved back to Bangkok - the city that I previously called home.
I had originally settled in Thailand in early 2011 but by the end of 2012 I had to make a tough decision between staying in Thailand but losing my PokerStars contract or moving back to the UK immediately and keeping it.
PokerStars had decided that they needed their Team Online representative from the UK to actually live in the UK and physically be there for most of the year, which although I wasn't happy about it, was a reasonable enough request.
It was a tough ultimatum for me though as I was very well settled and happy in Thailand, but I also very much enjoyed being part of the PokerStars team.
I decided that it was worth making sacrifices to remain in the team, so two weeks into the new year of 2013 I cancelled the lease on my Bangkok condo and flew 6,000 miles to Edinburgh on a one-way ticket with all my belongings.
It was kind of sad that I'd been away for two years and there was nobody to greet me at the airport, but that's what happens when you don't keep in touch with anyone. Instead I was greeted by a blizzard and a ride in a taxi that was 10x the price of the same length of journey in Thailand. Welcome home Dale.
I had been back in Scotland for less than half an hour and was already experiencing a massive culture shock, as if I was a foreigner visiting for the first time. I love my country but the term 'rip-off Britain' didn't come from nowhere and it's just not a place to be when the weather is awful. Problem is that the weather is awful most of the time.
The great comedian Billy Connolly once said that there are two seasons in Scotland - winter and July.
The big yin also said that there's no such thing as "bad" weather, there's only the wrong clothes. And there I was, in the middle of a Scottish winter with a suitcase full of shorts, T-shirts and not much else.
I never did go shopping for the right clothes. I just ended up basically hibernating for a few months. After living in Thailand for two years I found it just too difficult to adjust to being back home in Scotland. I went from being happy, social and healthy to the polar opposite. In Thailand I was outside jogging almost every day - followed by a massage, eating healthy delicious food, and dating very attractive girls. Back in Scotland it was too cold for jogging, healthy eating was more of a struggle and even unattractive girls looked at me like I was dirt.
I could have made a better effort of dealing with the situation like actually going out and buying winter clothes, trying to get in touch with old friends, making new friends and joining a gym but the misery I felt was so overwhelmingly crippling that all I could do was sleep all day and stay up all night eating junk food and playing online poker.
After those first few months of hibernation things did get a bit easier. About the same time that the weather got milder I re-discovered my favourite place in Edinburgh - Arthur's Seat. A dormant volcano that is a great place to exercise and get a healthy dose of fresh air and beautiful scenery. I had gained a whopping 10Kg in weight and barely seen daylight since the start of the year so it was about time for me to get outdoors and work up a sweat.
I had also decided to make the most of being so close to European countries that I hadn't had a chance to visit yet. I made my first ever trips to Croatia, Slovakia, Austria, Hungary and Bulgaria.
It was a fun summer, but it went by so fast. Winter came back around and again I became miserable and introverted. It's amazing how a change in season can have such a massive affect on your mood and your life.
Thankfully the location requirement was taking out of my 2014 agreement with PokerStars and instead I agreed to play in 5 UKIPT events during the year as an alternative location restriction.
This gave me the opportunity to move back to Thailand and make long haul commutes to the UKIPT events. Even though flights, hotels etc. would cost me more than the value of the tournament buyin and I'd lose at least another 2 full days from long haul flying each time, it was worth it for me to actually live where I wanted to live.
I didn't waste much time before packing up my stuff and flying to Bangkok, where I settled back in really quickly. I moved into a hotel with a room overlooking the BEC Tero football stadium and re-arranged the furniture so that I had a nice view while I played online poker.
I stayed in that place for a couple of weeks while I casually looked around for a place that was away from the main tourist and expat areas. I think those areas are good if you are visiting Bangkok as a tourist or just for a few months but I wanted to live somewhere that was a bit quieter, much more real and way less expensive.
Anywhere that there's a lot of tourists the price of accommodation and food is high (by Thai standards) and there's a lot of crap to put up with like taxi drivers who won't turn on the meters or not being able to walk down the street because 90% of it's been taken over by shitty market stalls selling shitty tat to shitty people walking at a snails pace in their flip-flops and Singha vests. /rant
I know enough about Bangkok and speak enough Thai language that I can get around easily and do stuff like explain to a taxi driver how to go to some place that he doesn't know or eat at restaurants where the staff don't speak English.
I ended up finding a small hotel in an area that has a population of 98% Thai people but is still really close to a massive modern mall and a subway station, so great amenities and transport. Every mall has about two floors of restaurants and as long as you live close to a BTS (sky train) or MRT (subway) station you can get around Bangkok quickly, cheaply and easily.
It might sound crazy to some people to live long term in a hotel but living on my own all I really need is one big room and in Thailand long term hotel stays can certainly be affordable. For my room I'm paying 9,700 Baht (£176 GBP / 223 EUR / $302 USD) per month, excluding utilities. I could also find an apartment nearby for the same price but the hotel has the advantage that I can check out whenever I want, rather than sign a 1 year lease.
The hotel looks like nothing special. The furnishings are outdated and a bit worn but everything is very comfortable, super clean (never seen a single insect) and the location is simply perfect for me. Best of all is that the hotel has a restaurant open from 6:30am - 2am and sells Thai meals for 40 - 80 Baht (£0.73 - £1.45 GBP / €0.92 - €1.84 EUR / $1.25 - $2.50 USD). They even bring it to your room with zero service charge and no tip expected.
That was one of the main things I missed when I was back in the UK, real authentic Thai food that costs pennies. I actually went to Thai restaurants in Edinburgh a couple of times, but it just wasn't the same. It was probably paying 20x the price that I'm used to that left a bad taste in my mouth.
Fortunately I returned to Bangkok just in time for Songkran, the Thai new year. Songkran is celebrated with a water festival lasting 3 days. Basically the entire city turns into one massive water fight during those three days. It's an awesome event. I believe the tradition started off many years ago with people splashing water over each other to wish them good luck or clear their badness for the new year, or some superstitious nonsense like that. Now it's just escalated into total water fight degeneracy.
During the Songkran festival you can't simply live your life as you normally would and not participate. If you try to walk down any street someone will pour a pale of water over you or give you a good hosing down. You either need to embrace it and give as good as you get, or stay indoors for three days. No surprises what I did.
I hired a tuk-tuk for a day to drive me and two girls that I'm friends with around Bangkok so we could do drive-by shootings with our water guns. It was crazy, we'd have people on the backs of motorbikes shooting at us and every time we got stuck in traffic there would be kids with buckets of water running into the road to drench us.
And it's not just kids that take part in this. It's everyone. There's grown adults everywhere with buckets of water and water pistols splashing around having a whale of time.
Songkran was a great welcome back to Thailand. I'm now well settled here again, but I still love to travel and Bangkok having a massive international airport is a great base to do that from. Since coming back to Thailand I've made trips to Seoul, Hong Kong, Helsinki, Marbella (wish I skipped that one tbh), Chiang Mai and tomorrow I will go to Penang Island in Malaysia for the first time.
I plan to stay in Thailand for quite some time but doing it on back-to-back tourist visas will no longer be an option as new immigration policies are being introduced. My plan is to join a Thai language school full time (4 hours a week, lol) in order to get an education visa. That way I'll be living in Thailand more legitimately and also improving my language skills. Taking Thai classes was something I planned to do anyway. I think that if you plan to live in any country for a significant period of time it's just downright rude not to learn the language properly.
So here's to eating more hot food......
.... dating pretty girls .....
.... and having fun experiences in Thailand.
Eureka Vienna Trip Report 26 May 2014 11:53 AM (10 years ago)
Recently I had the pleasure of playing poker in an imperial palace. It was quite a a step up from the wobbly kitchen table in a sketchy North London council flat where I played my first poker tournament.
The Hofburg Palace in Vienna is home to the current Austrian president Heinz Fischer and the bloke was nice enough to let a bunch of us poker players take over a wing of his gaff for a couple of weeks.
As far as home games go it was pretty decent and there were certainly no wobbly tables, makeshift chairs or having to keep the noise down because the host's kids were sleeping upstairs.
Land of Inconvenience
I flew into Vienna and checked into my hotel just after 9pm in the evening then went out looking for a supermarket to stock up on water, juice and snacks to get me through the week (screw the rip-off mini-bar). As I was staying in the absolute centre of the city that task should have been quick and easy, right? Nope, not in Austria, the land of inconvenience.
Every metro supermarket I found using Google Maps had closed at 8pm and all the little convenience stores were closed too. So they aren't actually little convenience stores, they're just little stores, which are closed at the kind of times one would expect and need them to be open. "In-convenience stores" then.
After walking around hopelessly for over half an hour I asked a group of local people where I could go to buy some drinks and snacks at this time of night and they just laughed at me and said "everything is closed, it's late of course". They seem to take real pleasure in inconvenience in Vienna.
I've spent most of the last few years living in Bangkok, a city where you're never less than a minute away from a supermarket or convenience store that's open 24 hours a day, selling drinks and snacks for pennies. So the realisation that I'd have to wait 9 hours in Vienna to be able to hand over €2 to buy a soft drink didn't go down too well with me. As usual, life is better in the so called "third world".
I walked back to my hotel sulking, thinking to myself "Why is everything closed? Do people not get thirsty, hungry, or need anything at all after 8pm? Why doesn't someone just open a 24 hour store and get all the monies? Is there a law forcing shops to close or something?". Whatever the reason, it made for an annoying start to my trip.
Delicacies
Everyone I knew was playing Day 1a of the Eureka main event, so the sociable thing to do would be for me to play that day too, then have people to hang out with the next day. I usually do the opposite of what I'm supposed to though so on Day 1a I slept until the afternoon then went out in Vienna by myself to learn more about Austrian culture.
By Austrian culture I mean their food.
I paid a visit to Hotel Sacher, famous for its Sachertorte - a delicious cake that was invented a couple of centuries ago by a bloke called Sacher for some Austrian prince and has become a very popular delicacy in Vienna.
As tempting as it was to go straight to dessert I looked for something more savoury to start off with. The most obvious dish to try was Wiener Schnitzel - breaded and deep-fried veal, served with boiled potatoes and half a lemon. Yum!
Very tender and tasty. After the two minutes that it took me to devour that I got what I actually came for, the Sachertorte - a rich slab of chocolate cake with apricot filling.
It was so ridiculously delicious but also so ridiculously expensive, which is a good thing. If it had been cheap I'd be eating it every day, and that would be so ridiculously bad for my health.
Eureka Main Event
My runbad with table draws in live events continued on day 1b of the Eureka Vienna main event when I sat down at a table full of young wizards and wannabe wizards. I didn't know who any of them were but before we even started playing they were all chatting to each other stuff like "sick score last Sunday man" and "you busted me in the Super Tuesday again this week you bastard".
Looking away from my table of poker pros, the view was a bit easier on the eyes.
I had a tough time in the first few levels and couldn't get anything going. I remembered that famous phrase from the movie Rounders. “Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.”
Well that was definitely the thing.
It took me 8 levels to get above the starting stack and then things were starting to go well for me until one hand near the end of the day. I 4-bet shoved with AQs from the button vs a little wizard in the SB who had 3-bet me 3 out of 4 times that I opened from the button. Obviously he had two aces and I was drawing dead by the flop.
Huge sighs, I put my jacket on, walked out of the room and down the grand staircase. I was almost out the door when I heard someone shouting at me from the top of the stairs. It was a bloke from my table, "dude, come back, you still have chips, come back!"
I was stunned. I was pretty sure that my opponent had me covered, but seemingly he didn't. I walked all the way back up the stairs thinking to myself "I bet I have like 1 ante chip or something, this is going to be so tilting."
I got back to the table to discover that I actually had 5 big blinds left, and was still in late position. So much better than having 1 ante chip and infinitely better than having no chips at all.
It was a pretty stupid mistake by me. Not the first mistake I've ever made when playing poker but hopefully one that I won't make again. Busting a poker tournament is never fun and I always just want to GTFO as quickly as possible, but not making sure that I'd actually busted before G-ing TFO was really dumb.
As for the guy who came running to get me, it turned out that was EPT London winner Robin Ylitalo. What a hero. I don't think many poker players would bother running after one of their opponents in that situation. However I reckon I would be a hero if that ever happened at my table so I'm glad that someone was a hero for me.
I shoved Q5s on the next hand and was called by A8o and won, meaning I had 12BB and a real chance to get back in the game. I started to daydream about winning the tournament from there and how great a story it would be. Those dreams were short lived though as I shoved with 44 and got called by 66. More huge sighs, I put my jacket on again and left the palace again, but not before making damn sure that my opponent had me covered.
Amusement
When I bust a main event I rarely have the motivation to jump right back into action by playing side events or live cash like most of my fellow poker players do. Instead I look for fun, non-poker related things to do in the city that I've travelled to. My friend TonnaMunz also busted the main event so I suggested that we hang out at the Prater amusement park the next day.
I'd been there before on a Vienna day trip last year so I knew which rides were awesome, my favourite being the Black Mamba.
Riding the massive Black Mamba was so intense that I could barely walk afterwards. "That's what she said!"
So Sick
The next day I went sightseeing with Neil Raine and Joe Hindry and his missus. The first place we visited was St. Stephen's Cathedral but we didn't stay there very long long. I voiced an opinion about catholic girls which was overheard by the people around us and suddenly we felt less than welcome there.
We then went to visit the Natural History Museum. I'd been to the one in Dublin, Ireland a couple of weeks earlier and enjoyed it so suggested we go to the Austrian one, which is absolutely enormous.
I thought it would be a fun thing if we posed for a photo with an elephant that died 200 years ago so we did that, only for an Austrian bloke in a uniform to charge over, shouting at us in German.
My ability to understand the Deutsch is a bit limited but I believe he said something along the lines of "NEIN! You are not allowed beyond ze barriers und why are you mocking ze disabled people??? NEIN, NEIN, NEIN!!!"
Needless to say that I wasn't able to get the photo that I really wanted, of me riding a dead giraffe. :(
We spent the rest of the day at a delicacy market called Naschmarkt. It was a fun place to walk around, trying different kinds of delicious but overpriced food.
My favourites were the Florentine biscuits made from chopped almonds, dried orange, caramel and white chocolate. Mmmm mmm mmmm.
Very nice, but paying €3.70 for one did leave a very bitter taste in my mouth. These biscuits will never do well in Scotland.
Neil then had the bright idea that we'd eat raw French oysters. What could possibly go wrong there?
They were very nice, and I held that opinion up until late the next evening when I suddenly started spewing my guts out uncontrollably. I wasn't 100% sure it was the oysters to blame as I'd also eaten shrimp from McDonalds a couple of hours earlier. Yeah, shrimp, in a McDonalds, maybe an even worse idea than raw oysters.
I had a 15 hour journey to Thailand at the crack of dawn the next day so went to bed early, hoping like hell that I'd feel better in the morning. Well I woke up the next morning to find myself lying in a pool of sweat, covers absolutely drenched, then rolled out of bed and promptly spewed my guts into the bin.
What am I supposed to do in that situation? Re-arrange my flights at a heavy penalty, pay full price for an extra night or two in the hotel (that I'd been staying in at a 70% discount) and forfeit the advance-paid, non-refundable hotel at my destination? Or go ahead and travel?
As absolutely god awful as I felt, getting screwed out of many hundreds of Euros just to postpone my travel by a day or two would have left me feeling even more sick, so I manned up and went to the airport.
At Vienna airport all I wanted to do was get through check-in and security as quickly as possible, buy some medicine from a pharmacy and relax in the Oneworld lounge with a cold bottle of water before my flight.
I walked all the way to the gate without being able to find pharmacy or a lounge. "Where's the Oneworld lounge?", I asked the Finnair steward. "Oh, it's actually before security, sorry sir.", I was told. Before.... BEFORE security. What? What good is that to anyone? That's no good to man nor beast.
I did almost forget that I was still in Austria, the land of inconvenience, where they take pleasure in making your life as difficult as possible. "Do you know where the pharmacy is?" I asked. "Oh sorry sir, that's before security too."
As I stood there, feeling like death, sweat pissing from every pore in my body, I still managed to laugh at how ridiculous that was before slowly walking to a vending machine, paying some stupid price for a bottle of water and sitting in an uncomfortable chair for 45 minutes until it was time to board.
As I sat there I had a browse through Facebook on my phone and I seen an update from Neil Raine.
Definitely those damn oysters then. 15 hours of travel brutality lay ahead of me but at least I had a flight connection in Helsinki, an airport where they actually have a pharmacy and lounge in the departure area. You know, the kind of conveniences that you come to expect in any major airport in any country that isn't Austria. Goodnight Vienna!
Sleepless in Dublin - UKIPT Trip Report 26 Apr 2014 9:23 AM (11 years ago)
Main Event Day 1
Whenever I have a live poker tournament coming up I always seem to be on some crazy nocturnal sleep pattern, never managing to adjust in time. It's difficult to suddenly switch from going to bed at noon every day to waking up early enough to play a tourney that starts at noon.
My first ever trip to Dublin, to play in the UK and Ireland Poker Tour, was no exception. I travelled there a day early but still couldn't adjust my sleep pattern, so by the time cards were in the air for Day 1b of the main event I'd already been awake for 12 hours. My poker day was just beginning but my body clock day was coming to an end.
I was fortunate enough to have a starting table with a good bunch of lads that I was able to have a lot of banter with, so that kept me awake. Ireland is one of my favourite places to play poker mainly because of the banter you get from the locals. Even the players who are professionals or are taking the game very seriously still like to have a laugh. It's in stark contrast to games in other parts of the world where it's normal for 9 or 10 people to sit round a table for hours not saying a word to each other.
I wasn't doing too bad, considering the sleep deprivation, but then we had a dinner break. A slap up meal was definitely ill advised but feck it, I went ahead and lined my stomach anyway. When I returned to the table I was basically dead. The lad next to me kept having to nudge me when it was my turn to act. Fortunately I had a < 20bb stack and I can play that in my sleep. Which was great, because that's what I had to do.
During the the last level of the day I shipped it in over a raise with AK, flipped like a pro and got the double up I needed. I ended the day with 26,800 in chips, slept for 12 hours and woke up at a reasonable time before the start of Day 2. So a very decent result, all things considered.
Players Bag
At every PokerStars event there's a bag of goodies given out to PokerStars qualifiers, which represents some nice added value. The Dublin bag was one of my favourites because they went for quality over quantity.
Included was a T-shirt, a very high quality soft hoodie, official UKIPT playing cards made by Copag and PokerStars headphones. Decent swag! I tweeted out that photo at the time and had a few dozen people begging me for the headphones. Apparently there's no way to buy them, even in the VIP Store, so if you want some you're going to have to come play a UKIPT.
Main Event Day 2
With a good night's sleep behind me (I always sleep better when I've paid less than half price for my hotel room), I continued my excellent preparation for Day 2 by eating a full Irish breakfast from the hotel buffet.
It was savage.
My table draw for Day 2 saw me sandwiched between two old friends from STTF (the sit-n-go forum on TwoPlusTwo). One of them was Entim, which meant that I'd have to play well, and the other was Josem (now the head of PR for PokerStars), which meant that I'd have to behave well. It was going to be an extremely challenging day for Daleroxxu.
The day didn't last long though. In the first level Entim open-raised from button and I shoved 24bb from the small blind with 97s. He called with 88 and I didn't get there, so gg me. I remember tweeting my bustout hand and getting a lot of stick from random people but I'm happy with my play. I've studied that exact situation with an ICM push-fold calculator many times, so I was confident that it was a good move. It would be really hard to put a good opponent on open-raising and calling ranges that make it a -ev shove.
Viking Tour
So suddenly I had a lot of free time on my hands. Free time to do stupid stuff like the Viking Splash Tour.
The tour involves getting driven around Dublin and floating around the canal docks in a DUKW. A type of vehicle that was built during World War II as amphibious trucks to carry soldiers and equipment to aid the war effort. They now carry a bunch of eejit tourists wearing daft Viking helmets.
Unsurprisingly I couldn't get any other poker players to join me but I've never let that stop me from having fun when I travel.
The tour was a good laugh with the driver / tour guide giving us a humorous commentary of Dublin's sights and landmarks in a thick Irish accent. We were also strongly encouraged to scare pedestrians with loud Viking roars as we passed them. Way more fun than you're average city tour.
Players Party
With every PokerStars tour event there's a players party, representing more extra value since the drinks are free. On the down side it's always a complete sausagefest. There are some girls there, usually just other poker player's girlfriends or staff, but they are worth finding so that you don't have to stand listening to some hairy bloke's drunken bad stories.
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| Found these two hotties hiding in the far corner. |
As for myself, well I'm still on the wagon. The parties are still fun, at least until the point where everyone is so drunk that they become obnoxious. So it was an 11pm early night for me.
New Friends
One of the best things about being a sober Scotsman is waking up at 7am the morning after a party and feeling fantastic.
One of the best thing about travelling is making new and awesome friends.
Early in the morning after the players party I made a new, awesome and extremely cute Korean friend who I asked to join me for some Irish breakfast. We both have a great interest in travel and food so we had a lot to talk about as we stuffed our faces with our deliciously greasy food.
And again the next day, as we stuffed our faces with delicious Japanese food. A cute Korean girl and a Scottish fat bastard eating Japanese food in an Irish city, now that's multiculturalism.
Side Events.
I usually don't play the side events, preferring to play only the main event and use any remaining time to do some sightseeing or fun activities in the city that I've travelled to. However the weather was Irish and my new friend was working so I jumped into the PLO event. The O standing for the number of hands that I won in the tourney. I had to GTF-O pretty quickly.
The silver lining was that I had busted it early enough that I was able to buy into the final event, the EPT Structure Deep Stack Hyper Turbo. A €165 event where the buyin is low but the stacks are deep, at least for a couple of hours before the madness begins.
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| €165 = 30,000 chips. Decent exchange rate. |
A bloke minraised from the cutoff and I shoved 11bb with pocket 5s from the small blind. He snapped me off with A7o and I lost the flip. #coolstorybro. Whatevs. Another tourney bricked. Add it to the list.
In almost all my tourney bustout hands where I lost a flip, I've been the one doing the shoving, not the calling. I think that's important, or at least it would be if anyone ever folded to me, which they don't, so it's not that important after all.
Museums
More early tourney bustouts means more time to do stuff. The weather was still dreich* but museums are indoors and, in Ireland, completely free. I'm hella happy, that's a bargain bitch!
* Dreich (Old Scots origin) - A combination of dull, overcast, drizzly, cold, misty and miserable weather. At least 4 of the above adjectives must apply before the weather is truly dreich. (From UrbanDictionary.com)
My favourite one was the Natural History Museum, which I knew about from passing it on the Viking Tour. The bloke referred to it as "The Dead Zoo", and that's exactly what it is, a huge area filled with dead animals that have been stuffed and preserved. Their collection of animals and how they are displayed has barely changed in the last 100 years. Fun place to check out on a dreich day and free is my favourite price.
Final Table Day
I usually book my flight home for the day of the main event final table. That's because there's never any other tournaments scheduled for that day, and in the extremely unlikely event that I do manage to luckbox my way to the final table it won't be too big a deal having to pay for another flight the next day.
I must have been feeling really confident, or more likely made a mistake, way back when I booked my Dublin flights. My flight home wasn't until after the final table.
Max Silver, who had won UKIPT Dublin once before, made the final table with a massive chiplead so I went to rail him, all the way until he was heads-up.
At that point I received a message on my phone from my cute Korean friend, inviting me to come to the buffet restaurant where she works for some free cake. "Free cake you say? Well fuck railing this donkament, I'm off......"
I ended my first ever trip to Dublin on a sugary high and I still don't know who ended up winning that tourney.
Malta Trip Report 19 Mar 2014 9:29 AM (11 years ago)
After my trip to the Bahamas in January I was back in Scotland for all of two weeks before I had enough of that crap and decided to GTFO. The very best thing that you can do during the winter in Scotland is hibernate, and that gets boring pretty fast.
Malta is somewhere that I'd been planning to visit for over a year but I just never got round to it. During the winter it's one of the warmest countries in Europe and Ryanair have started doing direct 4-hour flights from Edinburgh. So I just booked a cheap flight for the next morning and off I went.
Seatmate From Hell
When you fly somewhere alone it's always a bit of a lottery as to who gets sat next to you on the aeroplane. I've ran pretty good in recent times, having whole rows to myself on quiet flights. The next best thing to an empty seat next to you is some skinny girl and that's exactly what I got. It was the best I could have hoped for since it was a full flight.
Unfortunately the skinny girl was a wolf in sheep's clothing. A real mouthy cow, ranting loudly in Italian with her boyfriend who had the window seat. No problem I thought, Bose Quiet Comfort headphones on, music up loud and everything will be fine. Or so I thought. She was unable to talk without using her hands. Every time her mouth opened she would wave her arms around, nudging me with her pointy elbow.
After maybe the fourth or fifth nudge I turned round and stared at her. It took her way longer than it should have to realise that I was looking for an apology. "Sorry", she muttered unconvincingly, and then continued to do the exact same thing, blabbing away and throwing her bony arms around.
I started nudging her back even harder every time she nudged me. An eye for an eye and all that. That just made matters worse though. Her hairy boyfriend wasn't impressed. So I asked the steward if I could be moved to another seat before this confrontation escalated into nuclear warfare. "Sorry mate the flight is full.". Only on Ryanair are you a "mate" rather than a"sir".
So it was a miserable 4 hour flight. I tried to lose myself in the awesome new Zelda game on Nintendo 3DS but even then, her nudging lost me my life in dungeon boss battle which was extremely tilting as you lose all the items that you rent when you die. So I got through the flight listening to loud music and fantasising about how much I'd love to drag the girl down the aisle and into the toilet. She'd think she was about to join the Mile High Club but no, I'd flush her skinny ass down the bog and tell her to GTFO. Mile Low Club, ciao bella.
Sunny Malta
I arrived in Malta after midnight and checked into a nice hotel in St Julian's bay, which was less than half the price it would be during the summer. Malta is pretty much dead in the winter with a lot of businesses closed and hotels half empty. The weather forecast hadn't looked great but I was pleasantly surprised when I woke up to an awesome view and beautiful sunshine.
The first thing I did (after a massive buffet breakfast of course) was to walk around the coast. I just kept walking and walking for hours. I walked all the way from St Julian's to Valetta, and back. A fair trek, it took most of the day!
It was nice to actually enjoy being outdoors again, with warm weather, fresh air, exercise, beautiful scenery and smiling people.
I almost even got a tan, almost..........
Popeye Village
The most fun I had on the trip was a visit to Sweethaven which is a little village built as the filmset for the 1980 movie Popeye which was Robin Williams film debut. The village has been kept as a tourist attraction where you can enter all the buildings and interact with character actors playing Popeye, Olive and Bluto. With it being off-season in Malta the place was almost deserted, with less than 20 visitors the whole day, but that's a good thing for me.
I spent a couple of hours there making a Popeye home movie with a few of the other visitors which was a ton of fun.
The big bloke that I was fighting with at the start of the movie was a fella from Aberdeen. In the scene where he falls to the ground he smashed the screen of his iPhone that was in his pocket and was absolutely gutted about it. It turned out it was only and iPhone 4 so I told him "it's not such a big deal then, in fact it's a good excuse for you to upgrade.". His reaction had me looking for the nearest can of spinach, for fear of getting my ass kicked.
But hey, if I can beat up Bluto I can beat up anyone.
Epic Sushi
My night time activities in Malta were basically eating, and eating. I had some great restaurant recommendations from people on Twitter so I planned to try a different one each night.
Three different people recommended a Japanese restaurant called Zest. It was right beside my hotel so that was the first one I checked out. I have to say that I had the very best sushi of my life in Zest. Better than the sushi I ate in Tokyo, better than the sushi at Nobu, better than anything. Simply incredible, it blew my socks off.
It was so good that I changed my mind about trying a different restaurant each night and ended up in Zest 3 nights out of 7.
Rainy Day
There was one rainy day during my stay. I was absolutely miserable, confined to my hotel room for hours. There wasn't much I could do. Anything outdoors would be awful and I'd already been to all the museums and suchlike.
I was lying on my bed wishing I was in Thailand instead of Malta. Then I remembered what I do in Thailand when it's raining. I ship a massage.
So I found a Thai massage place using Google Maps. Two minutes walk in the rain for a two hour oil massage, that's worth it!
I followed that up with a visit to the best Thai restaurant in Malta, Blue Elephant at the Hilton.
I had a starter platter and a main course platter with loads of different hot and delicious stuff and I went to bed full and happy that night. Thai day in rainy Malta.
Museums and Temples and all that sorta stuff
I didn't make any friends while I was in Malta. Like I mentioned, it was super off-season so the place was dead and the people that were there were all geriatric.
The first 4 or 5 days were fine, walking around and using the buses on a €1.50 day-ticket to visit loads of interesting museums and old temple ruins.
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| Old money at the War Museum. |
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| Ħaġar Qim - megalithic temple complex from 3600-3200 BC. |
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| Breaking the rules by jumping the barrier. Gotta have fun some how. |
Over those 4 of 5 days I'd seen everywhere and done everything that I wanted to see and do in Malta so my last couple of days of the week-long trip were really boring.
I had a decent time in Malta overall but I probably won't be back any time soon. There are more exciting places in the world to visit. Still, it was 100x better than another week of miserable winter time in Scotland.