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6 REASONS I’M NOT A SH*TTY KID 28 Sep 2012 | 04:41 am
What’s with this new trend of parents celebrating the fact that they’re sh*itty parents? It’s so out of hand there’s even a new book out called Shitty Mom (which just hit the New York Times bestseller...
Ignorant Mom Destroys Priceless Painting! 13 Jul 2012 | 12:39 am
I can remember it all like it was yesterday, because that’s when it happened. My mom had asked me to throw away my empty Yoplait GoGurt wrapper instead of chucking it on the floor. And by “asking” I m...
Mom: ‘Candy Land Makes Me Want to Put a Bullet in My Head’ 24 Mar 2012 | 07:22 am
Well, looky here. I’ve uncovered more evidence my mom should have had her uterus yanked and never had kids. Here’s an old post I uncovered from her pathetic ‘mommy blogger’ days. Can someone crack a w...
Sh*t My Parents Ruined: My Creative Process 14 Mar 2012 | 06:30 am
As most of you know, I’ve often longed to counter the wildly popular Shit My Kid Ruined website with one called Shit My Parents Ruined. First casualty on the list of shit they ruined: My creative pro...
What Moms Are Really Doing…and it Ain’t Much 29 Feb 2012 | 06:02 pm
If there’s one thing I get sick of it’s my mom complaining that because of her work schedule she doesn’t get enough “quality time” with me. Yeah, right. When she finally drags her sorry ass into my af...
Valentine’s Day Hearts for Parents … Without the Bullshit 12 Feb 2012 | 06:01 pm
This whole Valentine’s Day thing is a crock. Look, I have no problem with handing out a “Will you be mine?” card to each and every kid in my kindergarten class — even to the boy who eats his boogers....
New Product FORCES Your Child to Stay Awake! 11 Feb 2012 | 04:53 pm
Celebrities ARE just like us. Or at least they’re just like my freakin’ mom. I’m watching the Ellen DeGeneres show the other day and Modern Family’s Julie Bowen is there yammering about how when her k...
CHART: Should You Have Kids? 10 Feb 2012 | 08:38 am
Some people just shouldn’t have kids. In case you’re considering breeding please consult my handy dandy decision tree chart. If you already went ahead and popped a few out, don’t despair, hindsight is...
Mommy, Put Down the Goddamn iPhone 7 Feb 2012 | 11:41 pm
(UPDATE: I heard my mom tell my dad that a guy named Steve Jobs died. I don’t know who he is… but I get the idea that he has something to do with her favorite companion…and I don’t mean me. ) One thin...
How to Read to Your Kids Without Boring the Sh*t Out Of Them 23 Dec 2011 | 03:29 am
For half of my life (since I was about 2) I’ve reveled in the simple joys of life: Eating Cheerios with my feet, drawing on my stomach with Sharpies and of course reading. After all who doesn’t like c...
