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Big News 16 Aug 2013 | 07:46 pm
Forgive the brevity, since I'm on vacation and busy fostering a light jaundice that most people would call "Edward Scissorhands after being doused in flour," but which I proudly call "tan." But I hav...
Are You Afraid of the Park? 5 Aug 2013 | 07:16 am
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society: A gritty new drama called "PLAYGROUND." The anti-heroine? A mother, coming up hard on her mid-thirties with the crow's feet and wine teeth to show ...
5 TV Pitches Inspired By "Naked and Afraid" 30 Jul 2013 | 07:24 pm
1. CONSTIPATED AND PARANOID Two people, one bathroom stall. The world is watching. 2. SUNBURNED AND BETRAYED Two strangers find out they are both having an affair with the same person while marooned ...
Everything I've Always Hated About Summer* *But Was Too Afraid To Admit, Volume 3 22 Jul 2013 | 07:05 pm
I'm convinced that I'm cold-blooded. I am one of those people who is always cold. Even in July, I sleep with a comforter. My sweatpants know no "off-season." (Partially because I share them with Jeff,...
TGI...WTF? The Importance of Being Pants 12 Jul 2013 | 08:24 pm
Gird your hooded thong-covered loins, children. Ol' Lady LaMarche is dustin' off her fashion sass-hat. Because woe (and woah), there are some insidious pants trends rising up from the drop-crotched p...
Everything I Learned About Book Readings I Learned... At My First Book Reading 1 Jul 2013 | 05:32 am
So, guys. I did my first book reading on Friday! That sounds fancy, right? But here's how you know you're a novice author: When you Google "how to do a book reading." And then Google's like, You mean....
Excerpts From Holden Caulfield's "Cinderella" 24 Jun 2013 | 06:31 pm
So this is a real thing I did for a 9th grade English class. It surfaced in one of the many boxes my mother recently dragged up from her basement, which is being renovated. Right off the bat, this is...
Dear NSA: Brief Explanations of Recent, Questionable Google Searches 14 Jun 2013 | 07:56 pm
1. Funny gif of someone crying Not a sociopath, just needed it for a blog post. Chill. 2. Girl with Down Syndrome posing with Barbie Okay, okay, look, I know this one sounds fucked up, but I just n...
A Dream, Perchance, To Sleep 7 Jun 2013 | 09:40 pm
So I had a whole post written and ready to go about how Sam was finallyfinallyfinallyJesusHWaffle-LovingChristfinally sleeping through the night, and even posted a Facebook update to that effect, when...
Come on, Bra 28 May 2013 | 06:39 pm
So this weekend my Facebook feed was filled with links to some study that says bras are bad for boobs. And I don't know about you, but I do not like where this is going, trend-wise. Look. I don't kno...
