Wordpress - carlmaxim.wordpress.com - As if...
General Information:
Latest News:
Tesco self-scan machine develops consciousness 16 Aug 2013 | 02:09 pm
customers struggled to answer its questions There was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began co...
Rumours that BBC may launch Wild and Pointless Speculation Channel 11 Aug 2013 | 10:28 pm
Speculation is rife that the BBC may create a new rolling conjecture channel that gathers together experts in every subject, places them all in one room and forces them to argue endlessly about what w...
British Intelligence launch subscription surveillance service, GCHQ+ 7 Aug 2013 | 10:54 pm
Britain’s biggest spy agency, GCHQ, said it was addressing the commercial concerns of 21st Century espionage with the introduction of a new paywall. ‘The move heralds a brave new wor...
UK happiness rating downgraded by Moody’s 4 Aug 2013 | 11:08 pm
In a shock announcement, the measure of the nation’s happiness, the Wellbeing Index, has been downgraded by the emotional ratings agency Moody’s from ‘OK’ to ‘Don’t Ask’. ‘This is very disappointing ...
New Data Communications Bill to store everyone’s thoughts for a year 9 Dec 2012 | 01:59 pm
Plans to monitor the contents of everyone’s head came a step closer today with a proposed amendment to the government’s draft Data Communications Bill. Under the proposals all beliefs, intentions and ...
Jeremy Hunt to open world’s first placebo hospital 27 Oct 2012 | 09:22 pm
Britain’s first hospital built entirely on the power of suggestion is to be opened next week as a cost-effective solution to the rising price of healthcare. The Royal London Placebo is totally fabrica...
Historical re-enactment of Cuban Missile Crisis almost triggers World War 3 22 Oct 2012 | 05:35 pm
The prospect of a Third World War came a step closer this week when an attempt by an Isle of Wight historical society to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis escalated out of con...
New ‘augmented reality’ Facebook glasses mean you never have to see a real person again 21 Apr 2012 | 10:17 pm
New smart glasses developed by Facebook will immediately transform anyone you see into their Facebook page, thus removing the need for any actual social contact. ‘These glasses are an important step ...
Daily Mail to offer free ‘body appraisal’ service to all women in bikinis 10 Apr 2012 | 10:44 pm
Every woman in Britain can now receive a free, independent evaluation of her body simply by sending The Daily Mail a photograph of herself wearing a bikini. The body appraisal service, which has previ...
Government to install David Cameron telescreens in every home 5 Apr 2012 | 10:41 pm
The Government has stepped up its plans to increase monitoring of people’s activities by unveiling plans to introduce into every home 24-hour surveillance telescreens that will beam out the massive fa...
